At Peace Parents Podcast

In this episode we explore identifying with a particular neurotype - whether it is Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA), Autistic, Neurotypical, ADHD, or none at all- and the choices we have for ourselves and for our children.At the core, we discuss how autonomy is incorporated into the process of your child choosing an identity, and separating that from medical diagnosis and the nervous system mechanisms that lead to fight/flight/freeze.Hope you enjoy!To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Why is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) so hard to understand as a parent and for therapists, pediatricians, teachers, and people looking in on your child's life?In this episode, I answer the following questions: How do I know whether it is "defiance" or typical kid behavior or Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)?How do I know whether it is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD), or ADHD? Can a PDA child appear totally typical at school or with a grandparent, but not at home?What if my child is not "explosive" - can they still be pathologically demand avoidant? (PDA) Citation:"Beyond Behaviors: Using Compassion and Brain Science to Understand and Solve Children's Challenging Behaviors" by Dr. Mona DelahookeTo connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Why is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) so hard to understand as a parent and for therapists, pediatricians, teachers, and people looking in on your child's life?In this episode, I answer the following questions: My child doesn't seem Autistic, can they still be Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA)?My child seems typical some of the time, can they still be Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA)? Citations: Term "High Masking" from Rachel Dosey, Autistic SLP"Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity" by Andrew Solomon. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode on Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) and Toileting, we discuss the impact that cumulative nervous system stress has on toileting, through two mechanisms: The nervous system's fight/flight or freeze response and how it impacts the metabolism, cortisol, and adrenaline, all of which impact digestion and toileting, and "Control coalescing" around toileting as a way to get back to a place of perceived safety.The episode concludes with some practical parenting advice on how to get unstuck from a PDA or demand avoidant child who refuses to potty train or who has had a toileting "regression" after being potty trained. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode, I tackle the complex and often difficult topic of managing siblings and a PDA child at the same time, as well as the impact on siblings of raising a PDA child or child with a sensitive nervous system in the same home. Please note: This is recorded from a live video and so often when I said "Accidentally" I used air quotes because it was not truly accidental. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode, I answer questions that parents submitted as "secret and inappropriate" about PDA.  I answer as honestly and objectively as possible! The five questions were:✨ Can you have “PDA Lite”?✨ Is PDA always Autism?✨What happened to an older generation of PDAers?✨Can trauma cause PDA?✨Do you think autism and PDA are more common now or do you think it is because we have broader diagnostic tools?Citation:  "Neurotribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity" by Steve Silberman.To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This episode describes the three stages of the journey that parents of PDA children and teens go through on their path to peace. First, the "Doing Everything" phase where you learn and do everything you possibly can to help your child. Second, the "Structural Change" phase where you make changes to your lifestyle and make difficult tradeoffs that reflect the fact that you are raising a child with a nervous system disability. Third, the "Surrender" phase where you seek out meaning, purpose, nervous system healing (for yourself), and sometimes spirituality as you let go of the things you cannot control in your life. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This episode describes why allowing yourself an experimental mindset while trying new approaches and accommodations with a PDA child or teen is so important.So you stop judging or paralyzing yourself with a fear of "doing it wrong" or not following some set of rigid rules.So you stop seeking answers that are already within your intuition and capacity to observe in day-to-day life with your child.So you stop comparing your path to other families, whether neurotypical or PDA.So you allow the accommodation practice to be fluid and change as your child does!Citation: "Neurotribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity" by Steve Silberman, Chapter 7: Fighting the Monster.To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode I answer the question I get over and over on social media, in my coaching containers and in the programs I run: "Are you just rewarding bad behavior by using an accommodation approach with your PDA child?"It is a very valid question and one that I grapple with daily because we have all been conditioned to think like this. Here I give you four ways to think about this as you are making decisions about whether and how to accommodate your PDA child's nervous system and threat reponse. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This episode explores "high masking" in PDA children and teens, across both the introverted and extroverted expression. It discusses the importance of recognizing masking, both for the sanity of parents, your child's well-being, and getting access to the structural support (diagnosis, insurance coverage, support at school), that you need.Citations: Rachel Dorsey, Autistic SLP (@dorseyslp) for term "High Masking" Sally Cat, Introverted PDA Advocate. See her page "Sally Cat" for more information on masking from perspective of the nervous system. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey