At Peace Parents Podcast

In this episode, Casey shares her story from the perspective of a parent as she experienced the time leading up to her son's burnout (3.5 years old), her son's burnout (5.5 years old), and the current moment (8.5 years old).  She ends with a spiritual insight from Buddhism about not shooting oneself with the "second arrow" when things are hard.To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode, I share an excerpt from the Paradigm Shift Program session that focused on Marriage, Co-Parenting, and Communication dynamics while raising a Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA) child or teen. I share my personal story, how raising a PDA child has impacted my marriage and share one fundamental insight about being the "lead" parent vs. the parent who is doing less of the caregiving.This is a great episode to listen to with your partner to help you get on the same page and realize you are not alone in navigating these dynamics!Citations: Understanding Pathological Demand Avoidance Syndrome in ChildrenThe Tilt Parenting Podcast Episode with Harry Thompson (Episode 109) has been removed from the website because of allegations against Harry, so I can't link to it as a citation.  Atlantic Article "Why Women Still Can't Have it All" - the concept of "lead parenting" is named in the writing. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode, I outline the ways in which the description of Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual (DSM)-5 overlaps with some of the surface-level indicators of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) or "Pervasive Drive for Autonomy."Although there are many things that look the same on the surface, if we dig deeper to discover the root cause of your child's behavior, you may realize that Oppositional Defiant Disorder isn't really an explanatory diagnostic category, while Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) is.I also outline the five things that an Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) diagnosis doesn't explain:Internalized expressions of PDA (e.g. freeze/fawn)Trouble accessing basic needs (e.g. toileting indepedently, safety, eating, sleeping, or hygiene)Sensory DifferencesSocial Communication DifferencesNeed for constant undivided attention/coregulationCitations: "High Masking" term by Rachel Dorsey, Autistic SLPTILT Parenting Podcast Reference: Episode 154: Dr. Mona Delahooke on Looking Beyond Children's Challenging BehaviorBeyond Behaviors by Mona DelahookeBody-Brain Parenting by Mona DelahookeTo connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode we explore identifying with a particular neurotype - whether it is Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA), Autistic, Neurotypical, ADHD, or none at all- and the choices we have for ourselves and for our children.At the core, we discuss how autonomy is incorporated into the process of your child choosing an identity, and separating that from medical diagnosis and the nervous system mechanisms that lead to fight/flight/freeze.Hope you enjoy!To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Why is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) so hard to understand as a parent and for therapists, pediatricians, teachers, and people looking in on your child's life?In this episode, I answer the following questions: How do I know whether it is "defiance" or typical kid behavior or Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)?How do I know whether it is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Oppositional Defiance Disorder (ODD), or ADHD? Can a PDA child appear totally typical at school or with a grandparent, but not at home?What if my child is not "explosive" - can they still be pathologically demand avoidant? (PDA) Citation:"Beyond Behaviors: Using Compassion and Brain Science to Understand and Solve Children's Challenging Behaviors" by Dr. Mona DelahookeTo connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

Why is Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) so hard to understand as a parent and for therapists, pediatricians, teachers, and people looking in on your child's life?In this episode, I answer the following questions: My child doesn't seem Autistic, can they still be Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA)?My child seems typical some of the time, can they still be Pathologically Demand Avoidant (PDA)? Citations: Term "High Masking" from Rachel Dosey, Autistic SLP"Far From the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity" by Andrew Solomon. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode on Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) and Toileting, we discuss the impact that cumulative nervous system stress has on toileting, through two mechanisms: The nervous system's fight/flight or freeze response and how it impacts the metabolism, cortisol, and adrenaline, all of which impact digestion and toileting, and "Control coalescing" around toileting as a way to get back to a place of perceived safety.The episode concludes with some practical parenting advice on how to get unstuck from a PDA or demand avoidant child who refuses to potty train or who has had a toileting "regression" after being potty trained. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode, I tackle the complex and often difficult topic of managing siblings and a PDA child at the same time, as well as the impact on siblings of raising a PDA child or child with a sensitive nervous system in the same home. Please note: This is recorded from a live video and so often when I said "Accidentally" I used air quotes because it was not truly accidental. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

In this episode, I answer questions that parents submitted as "secret and inappropriate" about PDA.  I answer as honestly and objectively as possible! The five questions were:✨ Can you have “PDA Lite”?✨ Is PDA always Autism?✨What happened to an older generation of PDAers?✨Can trauma cause PDA?✨Do you think autism and PDA are more common now or do you think it is because we have broader diagnostic tools?Citation:  "Neurotribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity" by Steve Silberman.To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey

This episode describes the three stages of the journey that parents of PDA children and teens go through on their path to peace. First, the "Doing Everything" phase where you learn and do everything you possibly can to help your child. Second, the "Structural Change" phase where you make changes to your lifestyle and make difficult tradeoffs that reflect the fact that you are raising a child with a nervous system disability. Third, the "Surrender" phase where you seek out meaning, purpose, nervous system healing (for yourself), and sometimes spirituality as you let go of the things you cannot control in your life. To connect with me, find me here: InstagramTikTokFacebookYouTubeFor more resources for parents, including #actuallyautistic pages to check out and a list of PDA-affirming practitioners in North America, check out the resources page at PDA Parents.For Courses, Programs, Coaching and Consulting, find me at At Peace Parents, LLC Thanks for listening! You are an amazing parent.xoxo,Casey