The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project

A young girl gets shot in the arm twice while waiting to take photo with the easter bunny, a man admits to putting his injured grandma in the freezer and leaving her to die and Seminary student dies in Jesus crucifixion reenactment. Time to clear out your winter bush and join the other 4 million men worldwide who trust MANSCAPED™ by going to manscaped.com for 20% off + free shipping with the code [JRVP]. Go to getroman.com/JRVP today, and if you’re prescribed, get $15 off your first month of ED treatment Head to policygenius.com to get your free life insurance quotes. Visit ATHLETICGREENS.com/JRVP for a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase.

A Pro-life activist is found with 5 fetuses in her home, a southwest passenger was arrested for masturbating 4 times during a flight, and parents unplug their ring cam as a person keeps offering their 3 year old ice cream every night.   Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at Helixsleep.com/JRVP  Visit ATHLETICGREENS.com/JRVP for a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Go to Diet Smoke.com and use promo code: JRVP for 20% off Visit thefreezepipe.com to check out these killer deals or use code JRVP for 10%, that’s thefreezepipe.com and code JRVP for 10% off  Start your 100-day trial and shop the entire Away lineup of travel essentials, including their best-selling suitcases at AWAYTRAVEL.com/JRVP. 

A woman is hospitalized after refusing to fart in front of her boyfriend, a petting zoo camel kills two people, and a best man professes his love for the bride during his wedding speech. 

We have to start the show with the SLAP heard around the world. A Florida Man was captured on video molesting the family dog, an Arizona company is paying people to poop, and an elderly California man who hired hitmen to kill his wife's podiatrist after her death was found guilty of murder. Yikes. THE SLAP.    Start your 100-day trial and shop the entire Away lineup of travel essentials, including their best-selling suitcases at awaytravel.com/JRVP Trade Coffee is offering $30 off your first order. Go to drinktrade.com/jrvp and take their quiz to find coffee you love Visit athleticgreens.com/JRVP for a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Sign up for FREE at ZipRecruiter.com

A rescue boat helps a couple and then shoots the man in self defense, a delivery driver is accused of dipping testicles in salsa and a "child expert" grants a dying boy's wish to have sex    Head to policygenius.com to get your free life insurance quotes and see how much you could save. Visit athleticgreens.com/jrvp for a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Right now Allform is offering 20% off all orders for our listeners at allform.com/jrvp Go to getroman.com/JRVP today, and if you’re prescribed, get $15 off your first month of ED treatment. Save big by going to manscaped.com for 20% off + free shipping with the code [JRVP]. 

THE Pig heart man dies 2 months after transplant, a man in a porter potty is crushed by a bulldozer and a box of human heads is found in Denver.   Head to BlackBuffalo.com and use promo code JRVP at checkout for 25% off your first order. Right now, Freshly is offering listeners $80 off your first four orders at FRESHLY.com/JRVP. Athletic Greens is giving you a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Athleticgreens.com/jrvp  Fill out your free style quiz at StitchFix.com/jrvp, and take advantage of free shipping and returns.   

A teacher left school on a stretcher after 5 year old's attack, a Texas Republican quits the U.S. house race & admits affair with former ISIS war bride, and a young man who allegedly let himself into his friend’s mum’s home and twice bit her nipple to try and seduce her has denied wrongdoing.  Helix is offering up to 200 dollars off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners at HelixSleep.com/JRVP.  Paint your life! Get twenty percent off your painting and Free shipping! Text the word VANITY to sixty-four thousand (64-000).  Coffee ALERT: Trade Coffee is offering a total of $20 off your first three bags at drinktrade.com/jrvp. That’s more than 16 cups of coffee for free!

Mail, mail and more mail. 

A Man dies after masturbating while driving and flipping his car over, a Finnish skier suffers from a frozen penis during a cross country event, and a teacher admits to feeding cupcakes containing husbands semen to students.           Visit athleticgreens.com/JRVP for a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase.Join the 4 million men worldwide who trust MANSCAPED™ by going to manscaped.com for 20% off + free shipping with the code JRVPGo to getroman.com/JRVP today, and if you’re prescribed, get $15 off your first month of ED treatment. This episode is sponsored by Allform! Go to allform.com/JRVP for 20% off all orders. Start your 100-day trial and shop the entire Away lineup of travel essentials, including their best-selling suitcases, at awaytravel.com/jrvp 

An 80 year woman old gets locked in her basement after a bloody intruder broke in and told her to take bath with him in her nightgown, a transracial influencer plans penis reduction to be "100% Korean" and a man sleeping with his sister, murders her after finding out she slept with another man.       Get 15% off your Codecademy Pro membership at CodeCademy.com, code JRVP Fill out your free style quiz at StitchFix.com/jrvp, and take advantage of free shipping and returns.  Freshly is offering our listeners $40 off your first two orders at freshly.com/jrvp