The Jeselnik & Rosenthal Vanity Project

A Judge acquitted a doctor for sexual assault because "women can't tell the difference from anus and vagina". A man was arrested after bag of human bones was found in his basement and a millionaire gave it all up to live on a deserted island with two mannequins.     

A woman was found eaten by her 20 cats after dying in her home, a monkey in a bullet proof vest was found dead after a cartel shoot, and the CDC offers advice: masturbate together while social distancing.   Visit ATHLETICGREENS.com/JRVP for a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Right now, Freshly is offering $125 off your first five orders at FRESHLY.COM/JRVP. Go to StitchFix.com/JRVP to get $20 off your first purchase

An elephant tramples woman to death and then attacks her corpse at her funeral, Putin's bodyguards collect and carry his poop back to Russia and a woman claims she caught an STD from a car & Geico could pay her out $5.2 million

A woman is charged for throwing her boyfriend's mother's ashes into a lake, a man is dragged off a plane after urinating on his brother during a fist fight, and a man is stabbed over some video game revenge. 

A Pennsylvania man who sought treatment for jaw pain murders his chiropractor. The author of "how to murder your husband" blog was convicted of murdering her husband and a movie theatre chain accidentally showed porn to sold out auditoriums across the country instead of pay per view WWE wrestling. 

A teacher who replaced  a fired sex crime teacher commits sex crimes herself, a woman befriended her mom's killer and then he killed her and an immigration officer was fired for putting his wife he didn't like on the terrorist list. In Erica's Corner we play a new song from DJ $crilla. 

A man dies of a heart attack while burying a woman in his backyard, a man injures his friend while doing donuts in his car and a Fitbit helped to convict a man who killed his wife after getting his girlfriend pregnant. 

A man accused of killing his wife wins the GOP primary from jail, a mother fell in love with her son and "the sex is mind blowing!" and a woman with two vaginas defies all odds and gives birth.     

Is it okay to go through your partner's phone? A man’s penis fell off but regrew back on his arm, a naked man fell from the ceiling in the women's restroom and a man was found with a kilogram of gold stuffed up his bottom.    Visit thefreezepipe.com to check out their freezable pipes and bongs GO TO KEEPS.COM/JRVP TO GET YOUR FIRST MONTH OF TREATMENT FOR FREE. 

A Danish man was caught with 21 vaginas in his freezer, a Washington woman is rescued after falling face first into toilet to retrieve her phone and a Florida Bride and caterer are charged with lacing wedding food with weed. Right now Allform is offering 20% off all orders for our listeners at ALLFORM.COM/jrvp Visit athelticgreens.com/jrvp for a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D AND 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase. Head to titan.com/JRVP to get $50 when you invest with Titan. Go to drinktrade.com/jrvp and take their quiz to find coffee you love