Be Mythical

How to go from unhappy to body-painted, half-naked happiness! ...with Jacob Sokol This week, I'm talking to Jacob Sokol, a life coach who helps twenty to thirty year olds create a life with more happiness, more fulfilment, and getting paid to do what they love. He helps people follow their hearts while bringing their heads. Through his company Sensophy, Jacob has brought together a community of over 12,000 soul-siblings while creating a multiple 6-figure coaching biz in under 3 years. When he’s not leading retreats in Bali or coaching at home in NYC, he’s either listening to hardcore hip-hop or cuddling with his two cats. We started the conversation with me asking Jacob how come I'd seen a photo of him half naked and covered in body paint. :) Jacob rolls back a a few years and shares his story of discovering what it really means to be a happy and fulfilled human being. What you'll learn in this show: As children were often told "This is how it is. These are the rules. This is what's important." and then most of us keep on being told that as adults. There's something inside most of us that feels that what we're being told doesn't feel right or doesn't make sense (especially given most of the adults telling us the 'right' way to live seem miserable and unfulfilled!) but it's not clear what the alternative is, or even if there is one! If we stay in a situation where we're around people who believe and keep confirming our stories about who we are, it can be seriously hard to see what's true and what is simply years of beliefs and conditioning. I loved Jacob's example of how he went on his trip and then began to realise that he wasn't his thoughts. Nature's taking care of business, it's just about understanding how to listen. As Jacob described it 'the universe speaks universe', the more we get in touch with who we are before all the stories about ourselves, the more we're able to hear what's good for us.

How to feel love when you hate... with Bill Cumming This week, I'm talking to Bill Cumming. Bill is a thirty-year coaching veteran and Director of The Boothby Institute. He has been a coach, consultant and trainer to CEOs and the executive teams of health care delivery organizations, businesses, school systems and non-profit organizations. He is a key partner in the New Horizons Academy. Here, in his own words, is some of his story... "I discovered the power of loving-kindness bass-ackwards as I was trying to understand where violence came from in our society. Upon the rape of one of my children, my immediate response was to want to kill. (This beautiful child, now forty, is well and is a continuing inspiration to me.) The irony of wanting to solve damage with damage hit me immediately. In my search for understanding, I met a man who’d been damaged in his youth. He admitted to me – in a maximum security prison in Somers, Connecticut – that he had killed and raped. He also, at the end of a very long day, told me he was sorry that my daughter had been raped. I am the recipient of loving-kindness from a person who has done great damage and, regardless of any good I might have done, I am capable of great violence." But the written word can't do justice to Bill, his story or the things he talks about in this episode so for once, I'm just going to say this... Whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever's happened in your past and whatever is going on for you now, please listen to this, I think you'll be glad that you did. :-) What you'll learn in this show: For once I'm not going to try to summarise what you'll learn from this show, you'll feel whatever you're meant to feel. So I'll just leave you with my paraphrase of something that Bill said "You're either coming from loving kindness or 'other'... that's all there is."

How to flow when life is full of baby vomit and sleepless nights ...with Victoria Groom This week, I'm talking to Victoria Groom, the Flow Coach. Victoria he helps people to kick the control habit and to surrender to the flow of life. Victoria successfully distracted herself from purposeful living for many years! She spent time in a publishing career and investment banking recruitment before 'finding' life coaching 8 years ago. In April 2014, at the age of 41, Victoria had her first child, a daughter called Annie-Rose and amongst the usual challenges of new motherhood were breastfeeding problems, failure to thrive, tongue tie and food allergies. She feels very blessed in later motherhood, not least for the lessons in Flow it has brought! She has been featured in Woman's Own and is currently writing a book called The Flow Paradox: How to Lose Control and Have it All, running The Flow Experiment and contributing to a forthcoming book on motherhood. Today we're talking about falling into an effortless ebb and flow in pregnancy and new motherhood, which is often the time that it seems like the most impossible on earth (I know, I've been there!) What you'll learn in this show: As we recognise that everything is constantly moving and changing, it becomes easier to see that times of 'ebb', the times that life feels slower and less 'productive' or we need to rest more, life isn't passing us by, we're still in the flow of life. We can notice the way life flows through all of us but in particular with our children, and instead of trying to fight, control, change or resist the way things are flowing, we can notice, experiment and move with it. That's a much easier and more enjoyable way to parent and to live! As we get back in connection with ourselves and the world around us, we can fall back into the natural rhythms of our alignment with everything around us in all kinds of ways.

This week, I'm talking to Rasmus Carlsson, who is a transformative coach, trainer and group facilitator and becoming quite a regular on the Born Happy Show. Rasmus says that we're often conditioned to think that love between people means certain things - often romantic or sexual. Today we're talking about how love shows up in change work. And what it means both in coaching and teaching relationships and also, more broadly in life. And we laughed too. :D What you'll learn in this show: We can misinterpret the presence or connection (or we could call it 'love') that sometimes shows up in a relationship, we can believe it must be romantic or sexual, instead of a connection that's natural for every one of us. Many of the uncomfortable and painful feelings we have as adults are because we've been conditioned to be so closed, but we were born with everything we need to have a fabulously happy and connected life, so as Yoda said "You must unlearn what you have learned." Rasmus likened love to this great quote from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: "There is an art to flying, or rather a knack. It's knack lies in learning to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, that presents the difficulties." As Rasmus said love is about throwing yourself at it, let go and not being afraid of getting hurt - because it's actually impossible to be hurt. As Rasmus said: being hurt is just an idea.

The super power of loving kindness... Katie Abbott Katie Abbott is a therapist and coach, she's been running the Lewis Clinic in Harley Street for the last 8 years, runs retreats abroad and events in London. She's written for The Guardian, Observer, and Psychologies Magazine. Katie is passionate about giving people the experience of being welcomed, accepted and loved. She enjoys exploring the space beyond words. In this episode we're talking about the super power of loving kindness. What you'll learn in this show: We are born with our hearts wide open and therefore we're able to connect beautifully to others. As we grow we're surrounded by people who are telling us, one way or another, that we need to close up to be safe. As we remember our true nature, we begin to open again and realise that this is actually much safer way to be (that's if we consider that having a full, rich, creative and loving experience of life is something worth having!) We're all the same and we all have the same need for connection. It's easy to get caught up in the differences between us but they're just superficial. There's a place or an essence of us all that goes way beyond the psychological and physical, and that's something that connects us all. We're often taught conditional love and therefore don't believe that we're worth being loved unconditionally but we all have the same loveability! We all have the potential to be touched by love and to live from love.

The lazy way to massive success.. with Anthony Davis This week I'm speaking to Anthony Davis, coach, writer and curious pioneer in the field of practical and productive simplicity. Anthony's background is in systems planning, ecology, and business coaching and over the years has seen the genius of simplicity and doing less. Today we're talking The Principle of Least Action and how it creates an amazing life. His projects include: simplifying business, simplifying projects, simplifying skiing, simplifying life. And all with taking the least amount of time and energy. In essence, Anthony shares his secrets for success the lazy way. Oh and it ends with a real gem! :) What you'll learn in this show: Anthony believes that if something looks difficult then you're just not seeing it right. If we take the time to really understand what's going on then awesomely simple and easy opportunities will arise. The genius of following natural tendencies - how something will play out if left alone or with little intervention - we allow the system to do the work for us - Anthony gives a great example of his dad's lawn on this one! I'll let Anthony sum up the last gem in his own words... "Now a phobia is something where we get a reaction without the stimulus being present. For example, someone with a spider phobia feels uncomfortable experiencing the thought of spiders without them being present. And, we all know it’s not the spider creating the reaction, because there isn’t a spider present. So we don’t blame the spider or try to change it, because we know it’s not the spider that’s creating the feeling and experience. Well, it’s the same with all thoughts. We can blame people, food, work, money, relationships, events in our lives, backgrounds, or whatever as the cause of our feelings. But that’s a phobic reaction. When you’re not at work, but feeling uncomfortable or worrying or stressing about work, like the spider, it can’t be the work that’s the cause, as it’s not present.That’s a phobic reaction. They’re all phobic reactions. And the cause? It’s never the spider or thing. Just our thinking in the moment that we’re experiencing. Oh, and happiness and feeling good. If you think that’s coming from someone or something (and not even present), then logically that has to a phobic reaction too.It can only work one way. It’s always an inside job"

How to stop searching for your sexy self!.. with David Andersson This week I'm speaking to transformative coach and speaker David Andersson. David works with clients in a range ofsituations from people in psychiatric wards to people who are feeling disillusioned with life or their relationship and want something more. David and I are talking about how many people are looking for more connection, be confident, to be more attractive. They're searching for self-esteem, self-confidence, and actually just self. So today we're exploring why that search for self isn't sexy... :) What you'll learn in this show: The search for confidence and attractiveness makes complete sense when we don't see that they're not 'out there' or something we need to develop. This search is understandable and very innocent when we misunderstand this, It can sometimes appear that we then need to go on a whole 'nother search inside. That can lead to techniques, affirmations and mantras - to somehow find or access a space. When really, the only thing that's between us and that space is the thought-created illusion that we're not already there. So how do we settle down, open up and let our natural awesomeness flow out? There's no way or need to do this. It's all about understanding. It's simply that the more we understand how we're born to connect with others beautifully, the more the stuff that gets in the way of that connection falls away.

This week I'm speaking to the amazing Amir Karkouti! Amir suggested today that we talk about: F*CK THEORY: How The Principles helped my Marriage, Erectile Dysfunction and Patients Who Were On the Verge Of Suicide! Amir is a Transformative Coach and the owner of a chain of restaurants in San Diego. Along with being a coach and a business owner, Amir also volunteers for people who are struggling with Post Finasteride Syndrome (PFS). So in this episode Amir shares his story about how he took a prescription drug (Finasteride) for prostrate cancer prevention and which completely messed up his complete endocrine system, resulting in all kinds of physical issues including erectile dysfunction. According to doctors, Amir was supposed to be a depressed suicidal... they couldn't figure out how he could possibly be happy in spite of what the drug had done to his body. He shares that 'how' with us. Oh and the story has a really happy ending too... you'll have to listen to the show to find out. :) What you'll learn in this show: Something is only a problem when we think it's a problem. Circumstances are neutral but will look like a problem when our thinking is making it a problem. When we understand that circumstances don't create happiness or unhappiness we become open to the fact that gifts are available in any circumstance, even the hardest, strangest ones! As we understand that we only ever experiencing a thought created reality, that understanding in itself creates different thinking and a different experience - Amir gave some really powerful examples of this fact.

What success really is (and why meaning matters!)... with Peter Fallenius This week I'm speaking with Peter Fallenius. Peter is an elite coach, entrepreneur, innovator and creator of Genius is simple. Peter asserts people rarely even stop to think about what success really is and then really don't have the first clue how to go about getting it. So in today's show we're going to be talking about what success really is (and why meaning is critical). What you'll learn in this show: Realise what creates meaning (from Deci and Ryan's self-determination theory): 1. To Learn, and Create, if not for survival.... (Competence) 2. To make Choices for survival in a changing world... (Autonomy) 3. To Connect, for company, but also because ability to form teams is crucial in a changing world... (Relatedness) Notice the same things that create meaning also put people in a brilliant position for success. Decide if you are going to leave meaning to chance. If meaning matters, then do more of what creates it, less of what undermines it.

This week I'm speaking with Garret Kramer. Garret's the author of the books Stillpower and The Path of No Resistance and is the founder of Inner Sports which provides mental conditioning, consulting,and crisis management services to hundreds of athletes, coaches, and business leaders. Garret's been featured lots of times on television and in papers like The NY Times and the Wall Street journal. In this show we explore Garret's belief that deliberate mental techniques or strategies used to improve performance (or find peace of mind, happiness or any of those things) are ineffective. What you'll learn in this show: Why thinking yourself into flow just won't work. The more we try to fix, strategise or control our thinking - the more we get in the way of flow, happiness, and ease. Why recognising the way thoughts create feelings is the 'benchmark'. Understanding this connection is what opens the door to making performance effortless. We all work the same way. We all get caught in the illusion of our feelings coming from outside circumstances from time to time. And we don't need to do anything to fix that. Awareness itself has a powerful effect - we see that we don't need to correct anything on the outside, our thinking will continue to flow and therefore feelings will change naturally.