Does our past create our future? A Fly On The Wall Coaching Session with John El-Mokadem

This is the second time that we get to be a fly on the wall to a coaching session between certified transformative coach John El-Mokadem and his new client Kate who wants coaching around issues in her relationship.

Kate believed that past trauma had set her on the course for her current relationship issues but she discovered in this session that the past isn't always how it appears.

This episode was a wisdom-bomb-a-minute but here were my absolute faves!

• Kate's big insight! "I realised that there was never anything wrong. I was always OK, I just thought I wasn't"This is a huge realisation that her past self wasn't broken and that means that the past can't dictate her life in the present or the choices she makes going forward. Yesssss!

• How do we meet our partner's needs without subjugating our own  needs?John described how the more of his beliefs about needs have dropped away, the less he seems to need on the outside and the more he sees that his needs are already met on the inside. Life doesn't need to be a certain way for him to feel happy.

• How do we get into a quiet space?John explained how the very act of noticing an icky feeling and realising where it comes from [thought], the more he seem to settle down and start to look into the direction that fresh thought and insight comes from.

• How do we stop just drifting along in life?Kate's concern is that she needs agency - she needs control over her life and circumstances, John described how he's seen that his happiness doesn't come from illusory control, and his previous attempts at control were making him less happy. The destination that we're all working towards, it's all here in this moment.

• What about dealing with real life issues like a shortage of money?The more we're coming from insecure thought (life has to be like x, I need to be like y, i need to earn z) all get in the way of allowing success and happiness to flow through us. Life is already being handled, we don't need to make it happen. The more we let go of insecure thought, the more ideas, answers and opportunities that we notice.