Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship

Author, Will Schwalbe, joins the show today with some of these thoughts and more: It's better to say something than nothing. Make the hard phone call. Donate to the cause. Let friends help you. Ask questions. Look past what you think you know about people. Assume the best. These are all keys to long-term friendship I discussed with Will, author of We Should Not Be Friends: The Story of a Friendship.The first part of the episode is a natural continuation of last week's episode about the benefit of having friends with different points of view and backgrounds. I inadvertently made a series! And in the second half, Will and I talked about the real work of maintaining a decades long, sometimes challenging friendship and why we should bother. Will and I discussed the quote he chose for the book's epigraph by British poet, David Whyte: "All friendships of any length are based on a continued mutual forgiveness. Without tolerance and mercy, all friendships die." We Should Not Be Friends will challenge your assumptions about friendship. Two of Will's previous books include Books for Living and The End of Your Life Book Club, which I know many people out there have loved. Will has worked in book publishing (currently as an editor at Macmillan); in digital media; and as a journalist, writing for various publications, including The New York Times and the South China Morning Post. He lives in New York.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

There is so much value to having friends with different points of view and backgrounds. I love witnessing a friendship between people whose differences should make their connection unlikely, but instead their ability to discuss their experiences leads to greater understanding and closeness. Challenge and disagreement can be an enriching aspect of a friendship rather than something to avoid at all costs. It's not about convincing the next person; it's about diversity of experience and opinion in your life. My guests are the hosts of the Ask a Jew podcast and writers of a Substack newsletter by the same name. Their bio for Ask a Jew is this: Yael Bar Tur, secular sinner, and Chaya Leah Sufrin, pious Haredi, ask each other the hard questions from Torah to Tinder. What a description!I loved our conversation! We represented three very different Jewish backgrounds, discussed being active in the process of making friends and issuing invitations, thinking of others instead of over-protecting our boundaries at all times, showing up as your full self in a friendship, and disagreeing with friends without condescension or ruining the friendship. It was a great chat!ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

In an episode with Jill Smokler, formally THE Scary Mommy of the famous Scary Mommy, and currently the host of the podcast, She's Got Issues, you’re going to hear about the most common mistakes people make in friendships, and the hard learned lessons. You will also hear an all around honest chat between old college friends and some regrets from that time. Jill and I went to WashU together! She's been kind of enough to now have me on her show for a second time.We covered lots of friendship issues in just under 40 minutes. It amazes me that we managed that because every issue we discussed could be its own episode on Dear Nina, but we managed to get to the heart of important topics efficiently, and we were very real. Find SHE'S GOT ISSUES: "Friendship-- Mistakes & Hard Learned Lessons" anywhere you listen to podcasts!But to help you: here it is on Apple & SpotifyALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

I have author, Christie Tate, back on the show! I have been so eager for this conversation. We are talking about Christie's newest memoir, B.F.F.: A Memoir of Friendship Lost and Found. We're focusing on friendship triangles, envy, jealousy, competition, and ghosting--all issues that come up in the book.You might know Christie as the author of the fantastic memoir Group: How One Therapist and a Circle of Strangers Saved My Life. It was a New York Times bestseller and a Reese Witherspoon book club pick. You might know her from a previous episode of this podcast (ep #4) where we talked about revealing too much too soon with new friends. I can't wait for you to hear our newest chat.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

This week's episode with guest, Shari Leid, focuses on wisdom she’s gained after meeting with 144 of her friends. Our episode makes the case for the casual friendship. We also talked about expanding your friendship network by putting yourself out there to connect with new and old friends, giving friends grace, having intentional conversations to deepen friendships, and considering whether your "bar for entry” to friendship is too high.Meet Guest, Shari LeidFormer litigator, Shari Leid, currently operates An Imperfectly Perfect Life, LLC, a professional mindset coaching business primarily serving clients who feel stuck and helping them to create the life of their dreams. She is a national speaker and author of The Friendship Series, including The 50/50 Friendship Flow: Life Lessons From and For My Girlfriends, Make Your Mess Your Message: More Life Lessons From and For My Girlfriends and Ask Yourself This: Ultimate Life Lessons From and For My Girlfriends (September 2022). Throughout 2023, she is traveling to all 50 states where she’ll share a meal with 50 different women (one woman per state). Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, TikTok, and LinkedIn. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Do your adult friendships mirror what you saw growing up in your household, or did you set out to do the exact opposite in your adult social life? I spoke to author, Linda Pressman, about her experiences growing up as the child of Holocaust survivors, her parents' friends, and her own adult take on friendship.Meet Linda PressmanLinda Pressman is the author of the recently published memoir, Jewish Girls Gone Wild. Her previous memoir, Looking Up: A Memoir of Sisters, Survivors and Skokie won the Grand Prize in the Writer’s Digest 20th Annual Contest and is part of the permanent collections of Yad Vashem in Jerusalem, the U.S. Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C., and the National Library of Israel. Her freelance writing has appeared in Newsweek, the Times of Israel, on Kveller, and other venues. She is a book coach and teaches memoir on an individual basis and through Scottsdale Arts. Linda can be reached through her website: http://lindajpressman.com. ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

The topic of diet culture and friendship inspired more emails from my Facebook group--Dear Nina: The Group--than any other topic since I started the podcast. What do I mean by diet culture and friendship? I'm referring to how the culture of dieting and the worship of thinness affects friendships, can become competitive, and is spread among friends. We also discussed friends being overly invested in and overly influenced by each other's decisions about food.Pam Moore is an occupational therapist-turned-intuitive eating coach and health and fitness journalist. As an intuitive eating coach, her mission is to help women detach their self-worth from their weight and to move their bodies because it feels good — not as a punishment. The author of There's No Room for Fear in a Burley Trailer, Pam's writing has also been published in The Washington Post, Runner's World, SELF, The Guardian, Time, Outside, AARP, and Forbes, among others.Despite, or more likely because of being picked last for every team as a kid, Pam is also a certified personal trainer, six-time marathoner, and two-time Ironman finisher. Her podcast, Real Fit, features conversations with women athletes about body image, enoughness, and more.You can learn more at: pam-moore.com, LinkedIn, TikTok, Instagram, and TwitterALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Do you overspend to keep up with friends? It's tricky to navigate conversations about money with friends. What issues have come up for you about money and friendship? Does splitting things get tense? Planning trips? Participating in expectations around weddings, showers, going in with friends for gifts? Money can be a big issue between friends. Some of the solutions discussed in the episode can apply to any topic that's normally private and therefore tough to handle in friendship.Mia Brabham, staff writer at Shondaland.com, and I discussed some ways to make dealing with money and talking about finances less awkward.Meet Mia Brabham: Mia is currently a staff writer at Shondaland.com. She pens the series "Joy Makers" and "The Art of Friendship." Her debut book, Note to Self, which is a short collection of life lessons, is in the hands of readers all over the world.You can find Mia on: Instagram, Twitter, and bymiabrabham.com.The two pieces of Mia's in Shondaland.com we specifically discussed in depth:"How Much Are Your Friendships Costing You""The Art of Friendship: How to Open Up About Money"ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Taking time to identify the friendships that are going well in your life and WHY is a worthwhile activity. It's my January challenge for listeners, readers, and for the Dear Nina Facebook group. This is one of my more personal episodes. Thanks for being here!Here is the 7-day happiness challenge from the New York Times mentioned in the episode.The challenge was inspired by the long study on happiness, all of which is compiled in the book The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of HappinessALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

I spoke to narrative coach, Lisa Harris, about the sometimes-fuzzy lines between "work friends" and "real friends" and also the line people cross between friend and customer. In other words--treating your friends like your customers. Not a good idea!Meet Lisa Harris: Lisa Harris the CEO/founder of Lisa Harris & Company. Lisa’s entrepreneurial journey began in 2016 after publishing her book, Unveiled Beauty: Handwritten Stories From a Poetic Heart. She spent 18 years in executive leadership roles working for and with many Fortune 500 companies and nationally recognized brands. Today Lisa successfully guides women on their personal growth and empowerment journeys through the lens of their own life stories. Lisa is in her 6th year producing Unveiled Beauty events, narrative coaching and speaking. She is also the co-host of the Life In Our Skin podcast.ALL THE DEAR NINA LINKS + CONTACT INFO📢 This week’s fabulous sponsor + how to purchase ad space on Dear Nina📱 Subscribe to my newsletter “Conversations About Friendship” on Substack❤️ Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, the Dear Nina Facebook group📪 Ask an anonymous friendship question🔎 Want to work with me or need another link? That’s probably here.Our sponsor this week: https://www.purewesson.com/Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands