The One You Feed

Eric Zimmer
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Apr 28, 2020 • 45min

Henry Shukman on Paths of Spiritual Awakening

Henry Shukman is a poet, writer, and Associate Zen Master who lives in New Mexico where he teaches at Mountain Cloud Zen Center. He has published eight books to date of fiction, poetry, and non-fiction. He writes regularly for Tricycle, The New York Times, and other publications. In this episode, Eric and Henry discuss his beautifully written book, One Blade of Grass: Finding the Old Road of the Heart, a Zen Memoir.You can find all of the most up to date crisis help & support resources that Eric is making available through The One You Feed by going to www.oneyoufeed.net/helpThe wisdom and practice of self-compassion is a foundational principle that Eric teaches and helps his private clients learn to apply through the 1-on-1 Spiritual Habits Program. To learn more about this program, click here.Need help with completing your goals in 2020? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Henry Shukman and I discuss Paths of Spiritual Awakening and… His book, One Blade of Grass: Finding the Old Road of the Heart, a Zen Memoir How to work with the 3 poisons that we all have: Greed, Ill Will, Delusion Opening up to pain (rather than turning away from it) so that we can heal His experience with dysthymia  The awakening experiences he has had in his life Learning how to be with his pain and wounds in order to heal A major myth of meditation How he knew he was ready to work with a spiritual teacher His realization that awakening experiences are doorways and we must then step onto the paths they open up to in order to continue our spiritual growth The value of community in spiritual growth The trouble with thinking you have to do things alone Discovering for ourselves the deep experience of the ordinary moments of our lives The wisdom of cherishing the normal and finding beauty in ordinary things Poetry as the practice of paying very close attention to things The different levels of love Henry Shukman Links:Mountaincloudzencenter.comFacebookSeed: Scientifically validated, next-generation probiotics. Their mission: to bring much-needed precision, efficacy, and education to the global probiotics market. Go to www.seed.com/wolf or use promo code WOLF for 15% off your first month of The Daily Symbiotic.Clean Cult: Makes effective cleaners with non-toxic ingredients you recognize and packaging that’s landfill-free. To get 25% off your first customized starter kit go to www.cleancult.com/wolf (this offer is good through May 30th, 2020)Best Fiends: Engage your brain and play a game of puzzles with Best Fiends. Download for free on the Apple App Store or Google Play. If you enjoyed this conversation with Henry Shukman on Paths to Spiritual Awakening you might also enjoy these other episodes:Loch KellyRyan OelkeNorman FischerSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Apr 21, 2020 • 45min

Special Episode: Tips for Living in Close Quarters

Many of us are staying at home right now because of the COVID-19 pandemic and if you live with people, chances are you have had moments of feeling irritated, frustrated, or annoyed as a result of being cooped up in close quarters together. This special episode has all-new interviews with 5 previous guests of the show, each offering you tips to help you navigate the difficult feelings and situations that come with spending so much time at home with loved ones. The guests of this special episode are Susan Piver, Lodro Rinzler, Rosalind Wiseman, Ralph De La Rosa, Rick HansonYou can find all of the most up to date crisis help & support resources that Eric is making available through The One You Feed by going to www.oneyoufeed.net/helpYou can also access a free video in which Eric teaches you 3 perspectives you can take to help you navigate these challenging times by going to www.spiritualhabits.netIn This Episode, We discuss Tips for Living in Close Quarters and… That we are all subject to unbidden moods in these circumstances How to grow closer through experiencing the ups and downs together Resisting the urge to solve the “problem” of difficult feelings To be with each other we need to be comfortable being with ourselves Strategies to help you avoid snapping at your loved ones  Turning towards your feelings rather than your thoughts  How we’re face to face with our own minds right now Feeling what we feel without judgment and without a storyline What to do when you feel highly triggered  The simple question we can ask ourselves before acting on a feeling What to do to prepare before having a difficult conversation with someone you live with How humor can help Ways to cultivate a warmer heart That listening is being prepared to be changed by what you hear A helpful structure for family or household meetings How we can prepare for difficult emotional experiences Taking ownership of our own emotions How to relate to our irritation Remembering the people you live with are suffering, too The phrase, “Like me, you, too, ____” How to reduce the way we take things personally The neuroscience of why tuning into internal bodily sensations works Beachbody On Demand: Workout at home with this easy to use streaming service with over 1300 super effective workouts suited for anybody at any time. Listeners of the show can get a free trial membership when you text WOLF to the number 303030. Clean Cult: Makes effective cleaners with non-toxic ingredients you recognize and packaging that’s landfill-free. To get 25% off your first customized starter kit go to www.cleancult.com/wolf (this offer is good through May 30th, 2020)Laurel Springs: An accredited online private school for students K-12. Personalize the learning program and learning schedule for your unique child with Laurel Springs’ diverse and enriched curriculum. Register your child at www.laurelsprings.com/wolf and receive a waived registration fee.Links to Other Episodes:Susan PiverLodro RinzlerRosalind Wiseman; ‘Rosalind’s “Tiny Habits:Ralph De La RosaRick HansonSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Apr 14, 2020 • 49min

Dr. Christian Conte on Radical Anger Management

Dr. Christian Conte is one of the country’s most accomplished mental health specialists in the field of anger and emotional management. He specializes in working in the prison system with people convicted of violent crimes. In this episode, he and Eric discuss his book, Walking Through Anger: A New Design for Confronting Conflict in an Emotionally Charged World. If this conversation about radical anger management rubs you the wrong way in the beginning, we invite you to get curious about your reaction and stay with the conversation – you may feel and think differently by the end of the episode.You can find all of the most up to date crisis help & support resources that Eric is making available through The One You Feed by going to www.oneyoufeed.net/helpThe wisdom and practice of self-compassion is a foundational principle that Eric teaches and helps his private clients learn to apply through the 1-on-1 Spiritual Habits Program. To learn more about this program, click here.Need help with completing your goals in 2020? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Christian Conte and I discuss Radical Anger Management and… His book, Walking Through Anger: A New Design for Confronting Conflict in an Emotionally Charged World Working with our own anger  The relationship between our ego and our anger Anger management That our expectations influence our experience of the world Hindsight bias How anger is a wonderful motivator That if we loosen our grip on being right, we can humble ourselves to receive other perspectives The metaphor of only being able to see one side of the box Switching to a position of curiosity  That certainty is an emotion, not a cognition Leading humility and curiosity lessens the intensity of a situation By saying, “here’s what I’m seeing, please teach me about what you’re seeing”, you can change the energy of the conversation How we can drain our own limbic system in the midst of feeling angry What it means that our mind wants to match our body Why he recommends that we go to bed angry (instead of following the old adage that says otherwise) That when we understand something intellectually, we think we’ve mastered putting it into practice in our lives That extreme language produces extreme emotions How we’re not disturbed by things – we’re disturbed by our view of things That certainty is at the heart of a lot of anger Dr. Christian Conte Links:drchristianconte.comFacebookTwitterYouTubeGrammarly: The digital writing tool that you can rely on to get your message across clearly, effectively, and correctly. It works where you work: in Gmail, Google Docs, Slack and many other platforms. Get 20% off Grammarly Premium when you sign up at www.grammarly.com/feedClean Cult: Makes effective cleaners with non-toxic ingredients you recognize and packaging that’s landfill-free. To get 25% off your first customized starter kit go to www.cleancult.com/wolf (this offer is good through May 30th, 2020)Cryo-freeze CBD Roll-On by Omax Health: Quick, effective, and long-lasting relief from joint and muscle aches and pains. Enter promo code WOLF to get 20% off and free shipping of any Omax Health product at www.omaxhealth.comIf you enjoyed this conversation with Dr. Christian Conte on Radical Anger Management, you might also enjoy these other episodes:Special Episode: How to Work with AngerLiz FosslienHilary Jacobs HendelSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Apr 11, 2020 • 11min

Mini Episode: Allowing Yourself to Feel Everything and Post Traumatic Growth

You can find all of the most up to date crisis help & support resources that Eric is making available through The One You Feed by going to www.oneyoufeed.net/helpIn this mini episode, Eric shares helpful advice and many suggestions on how to deal with strong emotions during this global pandemic. He also offers a hopeful message about the personal growth that can come from such challenges. Allow yourself to be where you are Lower your expectations if you need to Be kinder to yourself and practice self compassion (see Kristin Neff episode) Journaling can be a helpful practice Post traumatic growth - turning adversity into something better Allowing ourselves to explore thoughts and feelings can help not only cope, but create meaning in our lives 7 areas of growth that can come from adversity The importance of routine and structure in our days See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Apr 7, 2020 • 44min

Mark Nepo on Connecting to What Matters

Mark Nepo is a poet, philosopher and cancer survivor who has taught in the fields of poetry, health, and spirituality for 40 years. Mark is a New York Times #1 selling author who has published numerous books and audio projects. In this episode, Eric and Mark discuss his book, The Book of Soul: 52 Paths to Living What Matters. This episode is a tonic to the suffering that we are facing right now in the midst of a pandemic. This conversation offers some of the most liberating wisdom that, when connected to, releases us from the grip of fear so that we are living from a place of presence, peace, and connecting to what matters. You can find all of the most up to date crisis help & support resources that Eric is making available through The One You Feed by going to www.oneyoufeed.net/helpThe wisdom and practice of self-compassion is a foundational principle that Eric teaches and helps his private clients learn to apply through the 1-on-1 Spiritual Habits Program. To learn more about this program, click here.Need help with completing your goals in 2020? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Mark Nepo and I discuss Connecting to What Matters and… His new book, The Book of Soul: 52 Paths to Living What Matters The value in cooperating, listening and working with things (rather than trying to bend them to our will) That “sin”, as literally translated, is the same as “opaque” or, “not seeing” That when we lose sight of the vastness to which we belong, succumbing to our narrow condition, we paint everything with the color of our trouble How the surface of the ocean is what’s choppy and as we go down below the surface, we connect with the depth that is less tumultuous “Rightsizing” our perspective on troubles by putting them in a larger perspective of vastness and wholeness How to move at the pace of what is real: synchronizing the moving pace of mind, heart, and body  That the power of reading out loud is like the difference between reading sheet music and hearing it in our heads vs. actually playing the music That we meditate not to be great meditators, but to be clear vessels How we’ve become “addicted to the noise of things falling apart” That things are always simultaneously falling apart and coming together We are challenged to honor what we’re going through while at the same time remembering that what we’re going through doesn’t define us Asking “What is actually happening?” so we might identify right action Waiting for the cloud of fear to pass so that you can decipher what is actually dangerous  How in the modern world we have catastrophized our relationship to the unknown That the unknown can produce love and beauty just as it can produce difficulty and hardships The truth that there is no “there”, there’s only “here” That often, when you can’t leave a difficult situation, you realize that everything you need is right here The menacing assumption that life is somewhere other than where we are That out of fear, we make a god of survival. But without thriving, what’s the point? Mark Nepo Links:marknepo.comFacebookTwitterInstagramBeet Elite: Helps you to go further and longer when taken before your workout. www.livehuman.com/wolf to get 20% off your 1st purchaseSimpliSafe: Get comprehensive protection for your entire home with security cameras, alarms, sensors as well as fire, water, and carbon monoxide alerts. Visit simplisafe.com/wolf Free shipping and a 60-day risk-free trial.Skillshare is an online learning community that helps you get better on your creative journey. They have thousands of inspiring classes for creative and curious people. Get 2 FREE months of premium membership at www.skillshare.com/feed  If you enjoyed this conversation with Mark Nepo on Connecting to What Matters,you might also enjoy these other episodes:Mark Nepo (2016 Interview)Lama Surya DasSharon SalzbergSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Mar 31, 2020 • 47min

Adreanna Limbach on Befriending our Difficult Feelings

Adreanna Limbach is a head-teacher at MNDFL Meditation Studios in New York City. Adreanna’s work has been featured in the New York Times, Women’s Health, Refinery 29, and Yoga Journal. Her new book is, Tea and Cake with Demons: A Buddhist Guide to Feeling Worthy. In this episode, Adreanna and Eric talk about how to be more skillful in the ways in which we relate to our “demons” – in other words, how we can go about befriending difficult feelings. You can find all of the most up to date crisis help & support resources that Eric is making available through The One You Feed by going to www.oneyoufeed.net/helpThe wisdom and practice of self-compassion is a foundational principle that Eric teaches and helps his private clients learn to apply through the 1-on-1 Spiritual Habits Program. To learn more about this program, click here.Need help with completing your goals in 2020? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Adreanna Limbach and I discuss Befriending our Difficult Feelings and… Her book, Tea and Cake with Demons: A Buddhist Guide to Feeling Worthy How difficult it was for her to write her book How hard it is to create anything The value of tenacity The story her book is based on How our demons, or difficult feelings, can be very personal but they all look a lot alike The unskillful ways that we deal with our difficult feelings Asking our demons “what do you have to teach me?” How questions open things while answers shut them down Identifying your “exit” when you’re feeling uncomfortable in your own skin The 4 Noble Truths of Buddhism Adreanna Limbach Links:adreannalimbach.comFacebookInstagramSeed: Scientifically validated, next-generation probiotics. Their mission: to bring much-needed precision, efficacy, and education to the global probiotics market. Go to www.seed.com/wolf or use promo code WOLF for 15% off your first month of The Daily Symbiotic.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Mar 27, 2020 • 46min

Special Episode: How to Work with Anger

So many of us are feeling angry for a myriad of reasons amidst the COVID-19 pandemic. To help us better understand and work with our anger, Eric reached out to several previous guests of the show to ask them if they would be willing to talk with him for a special edition of The One You Feed Podcast about anger. They all generously agreed at a moment’s notice and this episode featuring 4 “mini-interviews” is the result. These are all new conversations with previous guests, Rick Hanson, Hilary Jacobs Hendel, Ruth King, and David Richo.You can find all of the most up to date crisis help & support resources that Eric is making available through The One You Feed by going to www.oneyoufeed.net/helpIn This Episode, We discuss How to Work with Anger and… That anger is a natural and normal response Utilizing anger rather than letting anger utilize us How anger can feel good in the moment but it corrodes over time Finding peace when confronted with the truth of uncertainty Mindfully noticing and naming our anger Anger being triggered by perceived danger and it readies us for a fight The danger of blocking our anger That we feel anger as energy that wants to get out Using fantasy to release the energy of anger  When calm, making a list of “state-changers” for yourself Noticing our coping strategies in the face of things we can’t control The critical choice of what to do with the energy of anger Being informed by our anger instead of reacting out of it Channeling the energy in constructive ways rather than damaging ways Getting curious about what the anger is trying to tell us – rather than focusing on what it’s saying about other people Getting fiercely clear about rather than ablaze in the fire of our anger When we’re in the anger, we lose touch with how it’s impacting our bodies Setting the intention of doing no harm  That fear is often underneath anger Not acting out of anger because it can be abusive Links to Other Episodes:Rick HansonHilary Jacobs HendelRuth KingDavid RichoSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Mar 24, 2020 • 1h 11min

Special Episode: Crisis Strategies for Mental and Emotional Health

You can find all of the most up to date crisis help & support resources that Eric is making available through The One You Feed by going to www.oneyoufeed.net/helpAs the COVID-19 pandemic intensified earlier this week, Eric reached out to several previous guests of the show to ask them if they would be willing to talk with him for two special edition episodes of The One You Feed Podcast. They all generously agreed at a moment’s notice and this episode is the second of those two episodes. These mini-interviews are with 6 leaders in the realms of mental health and spirituality. Eric talks with each of them about how to deal with difficult thoughts and offers practical strategies for emotional health during these challenging times. These are all new conversations with previous guests, Parker Palmer, Mirabai Starr, Lewis Howes, Steven C. Hayes, Scott Stabile, and Sharon Salzberg.In This Special Episode, We discuss Strategies for Emotional Health and… Turning our attention to those who are vulnerable and need our help The connection between anxiety and uncertainty Accepting the truth that there are many things we cannot control Being attentive to what we can control How reflecting on and learning from suffering can be therapeutic That dissolution is a good thing: You’ve lost an illusion and you’re that much closer to reality How to abide in a space of not knowing The paradox of actively helping the situation by doing less, staying put and slowing down Reorienting to what we really need vs. our tendencies towards overconsumption How to be mindful and Feed Our Good Wolf during a time of crisis That constantly seeing crisis media alerts is like seeing a car crash every 2 minutes – we benefit from placing boundaries on how often we consume media coverage  Creating meaning amidst suffering How psychological flexibility can help us move through difficulty How to move through a crisis so that you come out of it with post-traumatic growth Ways to work with your anger towards others during this crisis Ways to work with your fear about this crisis The helpful pillars of self-care that can really support us in crisis Looking for ourself in others to bring empathy  What it means to connect to our hearts and souls The importance of giving yourself grace and forgiveness during a crisis How loving-kindness meditation can help us How staying home can mimic the effects of a reflective retreat A guided meditation from Sharon Salzberg Calm App The #1 rated app for meditation. They have meditations, sleep stories, soothing music, and Calm masterclasses with may One You Feed Guests. Get 40% off a Calm Premium Subscription (a limited time offer!) by going to www.calm.com/wolf Peloton: Wondering if a Peloton bike is right for you? You can get a free 30 day home trial and find out. If you're looking for a new way to get your cardio in, the Peloton bike is a great solution. Eric decided to buy one after his 30-day free trial. Visit onepeloton.com Laurel Springs: An accredited online private school for students K-12. Personalize the learning program and learning schedule for your unique child with Laurel Springs' diverse and enriched curriculum. Register your child at www.laurelsprings.com/wolf and receive a waived registration fee.Links to Other Episodes:Parker J. PalmerMirabai StarrLewis HowesSteven C. HayesScott StabileSharon SalzbergSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Mar 20, 2020 • 51min

Special Episode: How to Work From Home

As the COVID-19 pandemic intensified earlier this week, Eric reached out to several previous guests of the show to ask them if they would be willing to talk with him for a special edition of The One You Feed Podcast. They all generously agreed at a moment’s notice and this episode is the result. These mini-interviews are with 4 experts on the subject of human behavior and Eric talks with each of them about how we might go about structuring our time, environment and mindset on living and working from home. These are all new conversations with previous guests, David Kadavy Charlie Gilkey, Chris Bailey, and Liz FosslienYou can find all of the most up to date crisis help & support resources that Eric is making available through The One You Feed by going to www.oneyoufeed.net/helpIn This Episode, We discuss… How to set boundaries for yourself in your time, space, and mind The Pomodoro Method Ways to divide your physical space for work Setting up mental boundaries to get into and out of a work mindset Misdiagnosing distractions when they’re actually challenges of competing priorities Pre-work, lunchtime, and post-work routines Making your environment work for you That your environment matters more than your willpower over the long term How to be productive while in crisis mode Replacing your commute-to-work time with self-care activities Best practices for consuming the news while working from home How it’s ok to feel feelings during this difficult time Best practices for managing people  Deciding the next day’s priorities at the end of the previous day Not letting praise be something that gets lost while working virtually Emotionally proof-reading your messages before sending See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Mar 17, 2020 • 39min

Kristin Neff on Self Compassion

Kristin Neff is an Associate Professor at The University of Texas at Austin’s Department of Educational Psychology. With her partner Chris Germer, she has developed an empirically-supported training program called Mindful Self-Compassion that is taught by thousands of teachers worldwide. She co-authored The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook as well as the book, Teaching the Mindful Self Compassion Program: A Guide For Professionals. In this episode, Kristin and Eric dive into the topic of self-compassion and discuss what it is and isn’t. Kristin also shares how to practice self compassion as well as leads listerns through a self-compassion practice. The wisdom and practice of self-compassion is a foundational principle that Eric teaches and helps his private clients learn to apply through the 1-on-1 Spiritual Habits Program. To learn more about this program, click here.Need help with completing your goals in 2020? The One You Feed Transformation Program can help you accomplish your goals this year.But wait – there’s more! The episode is not quite over!! We continue the conversation and you can access this exclusive content right in your podcast player feed. Head over to our Patreon page and pledge to donate just $10 a month. It’s that simple and we’ll give you good stuff as a thank you!In This Interview, Kristin Neff and I discuss Self Compassion and… Her book, The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook That what we practice grows stronger The science of contemplative practice What self-compassion is Treating yourself with the same kindness you’d show to a dear friend  Starting with mindfulness The connectedness of compassion  The fact that we suffer unites us as human beings Quintessential question, “What do I need?” Myths of self-compassion and how it is a powerful antidote to shame The Inner Ally vs. Inner Enemy Constructive self-criticism How to practice and the physiology of self compassion. The self-compassion break  Why and how self-criticism harms us Kristin Neff Links:selfcompassion.orgTwitterFacebookDaily Harvest delivers delicious organic, carefully sourced, and chef-created fruit and veggie smoothies, soups, overnight oats, bowls and more. To get $25 off your first box, go to www.dailyharvest.com and enter promo code FEEDSimpliSafe: Get comprehensive protection for your entire home with security cameras, alarms, sensors as well as fire, water, and carbon monoxide alerts. Visit simplisafe.com/wolf for free shipping and a 60-day risk-free trial.If you enjoyed this conversation with Kristin Neff, you might also enjoy these other episodes:Kristin Neff (2015)Guy WinchElisha GoldsteinSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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