FRIED. The Burnout Podcast

Is anyone else on clubhouse yet? On one hand it feels like an extra thing to do, but on another, it leaves space for some really great conversations. Last week, I was invited to co-moderate a room on Physician Burnout and the conversation and some of the points made were genius. I took 5 pages of notes while I was listening to the other speakers. And yet, the whole time I was on the call, something was bothering me and I didn’t nail down what it was until I was talking to my husband about it post call.   All of the burnout research tells us that organizations are up to 80% responsible for burnout. That means that all of the energy that is going into solving burnout is slated toward organizational change. Within that, people that do the work related to organizational change often judge those of us that are focusing on individual wellness because we are, and I quote, not seeing the true problem. Here’s the TRUE problem in my eyes. Organizational change HAS to happen. I am SO HERE FOR IT and I am so thrilled people smarter than me at organizational development are working on it. That, however, doesn’t change the fact that people are burnt out right now and they deserve the chance to heal. Fixing the organizations will go a long way toward #endingburnoutculture, but in the meantime, we still need to treat burnout like a true diagnosis and help people HEAL. We don’t have time to wait for organizational change. Any other diagnosis is treated differently. Heart disease is a huge issue - partially because of genetics, but largely because of food. So, that means the organizational change that needs to happen is a restructuring of food, the FDA, advertising, education about diet and exercise, etc. And all that needs to happen. But that doesn’t mean we’re going to stop doing bypasses in the meantime. Where are the bypasses for my burnt out folk? Treating burnout is hard because: There’s no concrete set of symptoms that lead to a concrete burnout diagnosis Chronic stress leads to brain changes that require lifestyle shifts to regrow Every single episode of it is different It requires a multidisciplinary approach. We must deal with the nervous system, the endocrine system, the immune system, and more. People still doubt that they have it and even if they choose to recognize it in their own lives, most other people don’t really understand how terrible it feels so there isn’t a lot of compassion   That is why it is so crucial to work with someone who can guide you through it - to help you find the most impactful actions so that you don’t spend energy that you don’t have on solutions that don’t work. I am obsessed with doing this with you. I love watching the process unfold. I love holding space for you while it all happens. I love the SHOCK that happens when you realize that 3 months have passed and you’re still very much the same person - but you feel SO MUCH BETTER.    Even when I’m prepping workshops for corporations, for 100 or 400 people, I’m thinking about you as an individual - not because burnout is your fault and not because they’re aren’t systems in play that contributed to your burnout - but because in spite of those things, you still deserve to heal, you need to heal, and in order to do that, we need to focus on what we can control. So we do, and as our time together unfolds, I cry with joy and I feel so much pride for you. I love accompanying you on the journey from angry, tired, burnt out, and hating everyone to energized, present, engaged in your life, and enjoying people again. If it's time for you to end the burnout cycle in your own life, I'm here, at the ready. Book a free consult. There's literally nothing to lose. bit.ly/callcait Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait   Episode summary: In this episode, guest Elizabeth Lott, a pastor at a progressive Baptist Congregation in New Orleans starts out with a story - one that you might not expect from a pastor - one of Mardi Gras, sequined shoes, and a fall that lead to broken teeth and concussions. From there we journeyed on together through allowing yourself to be called to a vocation and yet leaving space to be called further when it is time to move forward. It is a story full of expansion, support, and hope for what we can all create in the ‘new’ post covid world that we hope is coming real soon.   Topics discussed in this episode:    - The Love of Mardi Gras: A Story of Change [3:00] - Being convinced that alone is the way [17:39] - The power, pressure, and magical thinking of a Calling [21:24] - Leaving curiosity and taking on ‘traditional’ expectations [24:21] - Disappointing people on the scale of the internet [29:15] - “What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life” Muriel Rukeyser [36:28] - Being vulnerable as a leader [42:16] - Sharing struggles within your relationship [48:18] - Leaving a container when you’ve outgrown it [54:52]   Find Elizabeth: https://www.elizabethlott.com IG: https://www.instagram.com/elizabethmlott Resources Mentioned in the Show: Muriel Rukeyser My fave CBD is Incann and as a FRIED listener, you get 20% off!* Check out their Bio Soothe CBD Salve - it’s my fave for sore muscles and neck tension! *Use the code FRIED for 20% off! When you do that, I get a small percentage of the sale. All proceeds are used to keep FRIED up and running! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi FRIED fans,   I started a FB post this week with: “Didja hear it? The collective sigh?” And then deleted it and posted something else, probably about a bird beak face mask, or Michelle Obama’s belt. An hour or two later, my fave business coach Deepshikha Saraim posted nearly the same message with the words: “Collective sigh” in it.   Collective sigh. Even as I type it, I take a deeper breath and let it out noisily. Sighing, in Chinese medicine, is a sign of and treatment of Liver Qi Stagnation (don’t worry, I’ll explain). Liver Qi Stagnation is a Chinese medical diagnosis that happens when there have been an avalanche of emotions that your body simply cannot process, when this happens - the unprocessed emotions are stored in the Liver system (this doesn’t mean the actual ORGAN - the system in Chinese medicine includes the organ, it’s energy, it’s function, it’s energetic pair the Gall Bladder, and it’s meridians or channel pathways that carry its energy, it’s physicality, emotionality, and spirituality). When too many unprocessed emotions are sitting in the Liver system, they create an energetic and emotional traffic jam and sighing is one of the ways the body tries to push the energy through the Liver, to help those emotions move a little better, move a little more, and make room for clear traffic. So, if you found yourself releasing a big sigh this week, my encouragement would be to intentionally release a few more. Sigh on purpose. With Intentionality. Sigh with your friends. Sigh on Zoom. Keep this energy moving out. Having an outward threat end does not automatically mean the built up emotions of the past era have been processed. It means they are sitting there, waiting for your help. Now is the time to return to your body. To care for it. To move through emotional patterns. It means MORE discomfort just when we are looking to have some ease, but it’s worth it because when we avoid this process, it ends up biting us in the ass. Here are some of the symptoms that Chinese medicine relates to the Liver energy being stuck: Indigestion Stomach pain Depression Sighing Hiccups Easily Frustrated Explosive/Inappropriate Anger Plum Pit Qi (a feeling of a lump in your throat) Cough Diarrhea and Constipation (often alternating like IBS) Tight neck and shoulders Headaches, Migraines Heightened PMS symptoms Menstrual cramps Sore breasts Discomfort in flanks/diaphragm/etc Bitter taste in mouth If you just listened to that list and thought, Holy shit, that’s me! I want you to do these three things: Keep sighing, do it on purpose. Exercise. This is a great way to move Liver Qi - it can be freeflow dance or HIIT. When my liver qi is all built up, I like to do kickboxing classes online - moving through anger that way helps me. Stretch your sides. Stand with your feet hip width apart, relax through your knees so that they aren’t locked, raise both arms above your head. Reach over with your left hand and grab your right wrist, allow your side body to open up as you stretch toward the left. Go to 75% and when you’re there, take 3 deep breaths. Come back to center and repeat on the other side. Grab your left wrist with your right hand and allow the left side body to open up, go to 75% of your stretch and then take 3 deep breaths. Do this multiple times a day. Then, go on and book an appointment with your acupuncturist. For now, I’m still taking new patients in Manhattan and I LOVE treating this you can use this link to book: https://caitdonovanacupuncture.com If you're not in Manhattan but you know you need my help, like, yesterday - you can book a Breakthrough Burnout Free Consult here: bit.ly/callcait XOXO C Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait   There's a reason that Sarah Dawn is my first repeat guest on FRIED. You can hear her original episode with her burnout story here: https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/post/sarah-dawn But before you do that, tune into this week's episode to hear: - The Entrepreneurial Condition [6:41] - Finding Energy Leakes [11:09] - This is how it’s always been done syndrome / free coaching from Sarah [13:18] - Reframing Waste [15:42] - Examples of deciding to let things go [22:07] - Exercising Your Emotional Intelligence Muscle [32:10] - Every Entrepreneur’s Deep Dark Secret [34:24] - Who to hire as your first team member [37:00] - Where to leave the personal touch in your business [44:10]   Find Sarah: Instagram: https://instagram.com/sarahdawnbiz Sarah’s Website: https://www.sarahdawnconsulting.com/   Resources Mentioned in the Show: The Resentment Journal Mini Course:  My fave CBD is Incann and as a FRIED listener, you get 20% off!* Check out their Bio Soothe CBD Salve - it’s my fave for sore muscles and neck tension!  *Use the code FRIED for 20% off! When you do that, I get a small percentage of the sale. All proceeds are used to keep FRIED up and running! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi Fried Fans, This week, I released an episode about when the world's gone mad and told you that I'd be following it up with a yoga nidra, or body scan meditation that you can use as a tool to help ground yourself when the world has gone mad and your overwhelmed. This is it. <3 Enjoy C Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today, I’m recording last minute - which I never do. I am usually recorded a week or even a month in advance, but the combination of having taken time off over the holidays and the shit show at the white house this week means that I’m taking a beat to stop and be with you here, now and to let you know that if productivity is not your focus right now - that’s okay. It might sound contrite to suggest self care above all else when the world has gone mad, but self care is a rebellious, and political act. You cannot aim to fix injustices that you see if you haven’t slept, had good nutrition, or taken a mental health day. This is especially true for everyone who is battling the ‘isms’. Racism, sexism, ageism, homophobism - when the world is not a safe place for you, your body and nervous system REQUIRE that you take time to restore in a place of your own creation that feels as safe as possible. This is necessary so that when it is time to face the world again, to fight, to break down barriers, to be yourself in a world that asks you not to be, you have the energy for it. Self-care, in and of itself, is an act of political power. This week, I posted a meme on my socials that said, “Everytime a woman prioritizes herself, the patriarchy crumbles a little” and I meant it, but it should have read: “Everytime anyone who has ever been marginalized prioritizes themselves, the patriarchy crumbles a little.” The basics of this come down to: First, Rest. Second, Rebel.   First, REST. Second, Rebel.   But FIRST - first, REST. Restore. Treat yourself like the prize you are. Rejuvenate. Recollect your power. Engage your anger in a way that makes it useful. But first, REST. Scream. FEEL.   Second, Rebel.    This first step requires you to have some knowledge about how to regulate your nervous system. Don’t worry, I’ve got you - I know that they don’t teach this at school. Regulation of the nervous system starts with a feeling of safety and creating that feeling is an individual process. Do you need to grab a soft blanket? Make sure your doors are locked? Clean the kitchen? Organize paperwork? What is it that needs to be in place for you to feel safe? For me, next is making sure all the basics are clean. I don’t feel as safe when my bed isn’t made and there are dirty dishes on the countertops (and if I’m honest, on the coffee table). I need to put it all away, wipe down the counters, and make my bed. After that, I need to be clean. In order to feel like I’m taking care of myself and am safe, I need to be freshly showered. It makes me feel ready for rest AND ready for action. There’s a preparation ritual that goes with washing yourself that is important to me (it might not be to you - and that’s okay - I’m simply giving examples so that you can try to figure out what helps you feel safe).   So, step one: make your surroundings feel safe. Step two, listen to the next episode of FRIED and give your nervous system what it needs. All the changes last year have not been integrated yet into our bodies and we’re still sort of waiting for normal to come back. It’s not likely to come back as it was before and in order to move forward, our nervous systems need to have the ability to be flexible, agile, and ready. It’s a practice, a lifelong one, but if the last year taught us anything it is that we never know what’s about to happen and making ourselves more comfortable in the ‘now’ is something we should all be striving for so that when life falls to shit, we can fall to shit for a moment and then recoup and get on with our desires to make change, seek justice, empower ourselves and each other, and be the changes we want to see in the world. Sending you lots of love. XO C Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Episode summary: In this episode, guest Shonte Javon Taylor who is a neuroscientist with a mission of empowering 100 million minds shares her story of finding herself in a parking lot, after hitting a pole, hearing her children cry in her backseat and hearing her inner voice say, “You have got to do something different”. By using her understanding of the mind and how it best works, Shonte has dedicated her life to inspiring Leaders and Coaches to tap into this same knowledge to make their lives and businesses better and their students and clients happier.  Show Notes: https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/post/shonte-javon-taylor Topics discussed in this episode:  - Mountain of Pride Exercise [4:34] - Crashing, literally [9:05] - Being in your best mental health for you, and the world [10:39] - What can we do individually to keep our fear brain safe [15:00] - The modern brain vs. the ancient brain [20:10] - The amygdala [26:00] - For our brains to keep growing [30:45] - Trauma, hypersensitive brains, and chronic stress [37:30] - Brain Janitors [46:20]   Resources mentioned in this episode:  Shonte’s Optimind Institute 8 Week Course Shonte’s Website   If you know that it’s time to actually DO something about the burnout cycle you’ve been in for too long - book your free consult today: bit.ly/callcait My fave CBD is Incan and as a FRIED listener, you get 20% off!* Check out their Bio Soothe CBD Salve - it’s my fave for sore muscles and neck tension!  *Use the code FRIED for 20% off! (When you do that, I get a small percentage of the sale. All proceeds are used to keep FRIED up and running!) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fried fans, It’s the end of a hard year. Differently hard for different people, but hard all around. Hard because of uncertainty, hard because of constant change, hard because our brains which are accustomed to functioning on so much repetition and habit really got put through the ringer this year trying to keep up with all the change. And yet, here we are, at the end of 2020, with a vaccine on the horizon and talk that by the summer we’ll back able to function as we used to. And so we’ve started to question: Do we want to function like we used to? Burnout’s name flashed on all the stages this year as so many people were awakened to the fact that this year may have put them over the edge, but they had been burnt out for months, maybe years already.   We miss restaurants and going to stores without fear. We miss meeting our friends and gathering with our loved ones. But, we’re also grateful that 2020 gave us an excuse to hold boundaries, a reason to not meet up, an escape route from the girl’s nights that had gotten dull and the family gatherings that don’t fill you up like you feel they should. You didn’t have to go to that wedding you weren’t looking forward to and you didn’t have to participate in obligatory holiday parties and team building adventures.   So, the question comes up: do we want to function like we used to? Is there a way that we can shift our lives so that we are no longer contributing to burnout culture? Or, as a listener and former client put it, “Can you record something about how we all can help combat burnout culture?” Yes, yes I can. The fact that this question was asked was great from my perspective because it means that the burnout healing is well on it’s way - we cannot think about burnout culture on a large scale when we’re overwhelmed with burnout in our own lives, so my first reaction was to be happy that the question was even asked.   Then, I started to think about the answer. And here’s where you get to see into how my mind works. The first answer that came up is: don’t let another day go by without getting help for your own burnout. You are automatically contributing to burnout culture if you’re burnt out and not doing anything about it. That isn’t to make you feel bad, it’s literally not possible for you to focus on burnout culture if you’re burnt out. We’re talking facts here people - the first care is SELF CARE. If you’ve been around FRIED for awhile, you know that you can reach out to me for coaching, and you know that you can reach out to one of the many guests that have been on to share their stories who now do this work. Physicians can talk to Errin Weisman or Dr. Kara Pepper. Business owners can chat with Leah Steele, Tavona Denise, Sarah Dawn, Erin Elizabeth Wells or Kim Porter. The highly anxious and sensitive can contact Stacey Mitchell, Dr Valerie Rein or Cyrina Talbott.   And that’s not even close to a full list. The resources are there. Choose a method. Contact someone. Get the ball rolling.   The second answer that was reaching up from my guts was: Keep your boundaries clear, kind, and concise. Boundaries are so damn important and when you keep your own, you’re also helping the people around you keep theirs. Modeling good boundaries is a MAJOR key in ending burnout culture. When we’re on a rhythm of allowing our boundaries to be crossed, we end up expecting other people to do the same and then we end up resentful that we’re going the extra mile and they aren’t. We need to flip the script on this. Let other people’s boundaries inspire you to hold your own and when you’re asking someone to break their boundaries - look at the chain - did you break yours first, did the person before you break their own? Are we just continuing a never ending string of boundary breaking and resentment? Hold the line sister, someone’s got to close that gate. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guest Raj Subrameyer shares his story of battling expectations, burnout diagnosis, anxiety, and comparison anxiety. Topics also include the book Deep Work, meditation benefits, and strategies for preventing burnout through task prioritization and setting boundaries.

Hey Fried Fans! On this week's #straightfromcait episode, we're going to be going deeper into codependency because so many of you requested it after last week's episode with Melanie Moberg! I decided to read you part of Chapter 19 of The Bouncebackability Factor because it is in that chapter that I talk about the issue of codependency (without using that word :)) The crux of this week's episode is one of my favorite things to talk about (and one of the most requested workshops for my #speakerlife :)) THE KNOT. The knot is a theory that helps you come back to yourself, to stay aligned with your destiny, to be sure that you're serving this world the way you are meant to. I hope you'll enjoy this episode as much as I enjoyed reading it for you Show notes are here: https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com/post/sfc-the-knot   P.S. Happy Holidays! The Bouncebackability Factor makes a great gift for all the women in your life - snag a copy ASAP to get it in time (it's print on demand so it takes a minute! :)) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices