FRIED. The Burnout Podcast

Melanie Moberg, a codependency coach, shares her story of healing from codependency after losing her brother. She discusses the impact of caring for others, setting boundaries, and moving out of victimhood. The episode also touches on the importance of self-discovery, clear expectations, and embracing unconditional love.

This week on FRIED, we’re covering a topic that I’ve been waiting to cover for a few months now! I was so lucky that a mutual friend introduced me to Sarah Paris, founder of Incann CBD products. Sarah Paris is a Mom entrepreneur. Like many, working hard, stressed out, and on a quest to feel better, she discovered CBD and the positive impact it had on her mental and physical wellbeing. Inspired by its benefits, she launched Incann, a consumer packaged goods (CPG) brand with the mission to help other women find balance in their lives through a positive outlook, willful mindset and the power of legal cannabis extracts. Motivated by the will to chill, she has formulated products to manage every day stressors and overcome burnout.   Sarah burnt out and reached out for the first time in her life to a holistic practitioner. She was surprised and then inspired by a single question this practitioner asked, “What do you do for yourself?” It lead Sarah on a journey of self-discovery, personal growth, and inspired business that lead her to starting Incann. So while, during this episode, we’re talking all CBD, I want this to be a reminder to you that sometimes working with the right person can literally change your life.    When Sarah starting experimenting with CBD for herself, she noticed that when she took it, she was less overwhelmed, less anxious, and more focused. After a few months, she started making products for her friends and family to try and now she is the founder and owner of a company that she is so proud of.   The reason it took me so long to get someone on the podcast to talk CBD was because I was having a hard time trusting people that were company owners that obviously wanted to come on to sell product and when I checked their websites, they were missing a piece that I think is CRUCIAL when it comes to choosing products. Transparency. When Sarah was recommended to me through a mutual friend, I noticed right away that her website includes not only information that they DO third party lab testing on their products but they give you the opportunity to LOOK directly at the results of those tests and they match it to a batch number that you can find on your bottle. That means that you can buy a bottle and then head online and check out if it’s potency checks out, how clean it is, how pure and free to toxins it is, and so on.   This is completely unregulated so companies do not need to do this. People can sell you a ‘CBD’ product that literally has NO cbd in it. The transparency of Incann makes me trust them as a company and I’m glad to have a place to buy CBD that I feel confident in! You can check out their products and get 20% off with the code FRIED here.*   Moving into the holiday season, this not only makes a great stocking stuffer (I especially love the bio soothe salve. As big exercisers, my husband and I have been using this stuff like mad. It works wonders!). XOXO Cait   Connect with Cait Book a Call: https://www.caitdonovan.as.me/freecall Website: www.caitdonovan.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/friedtheburnoutpodcast Order My Book: https://bit.ly/bouncebackorder Connect with Sarah Website: https://incann.com/ Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/incann_usa P.S. *I wasn’t planning on it, but after I tried Sarah’s Incann products, I became an affiliate for them. What does that mean? It means that YOU, as my listener, get 20% off all their products and when you buy with the discount code FRIED, I get a percentage of the sale. It helps FRIED keep going, the products will help you keep going, you get a good deal, and you’ll be helping a small business owner keep going too. It’s a WIN WIN WIN WIN! A quadruple win!   P.P.S. Do something to care for yourself this week and book a FREE call with me! Initial calls last 35 minutes and are a great way to kickstart your burnout recovery. Book your call at caitdonovan.as.me/free. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi Fried Fans!   It’s Cait, comin’ atcha with another #straightfromcait episode! We are close to winding up Season 2 of FRIED The Burnout Podcast. You’ve got this week’s sfc and then next week, I have the owner of incann CBD products on to talk to us about CBD and burnout (I loved it so much that I became an affiliate for her brand.. So while the episode isn’t sponsored, I’ll be sharing about why I love their products :)) and then I will be starting Season 3 after a short 1 week break around Thanksgiving. We’re starting Season 3 off with a bang and having a chat with a codependency coach. This is a massive topic and I’ll be excited for you to get that info to help you unwind some unhelpful patterns you might find yourself in.   This week, I want to talk to you about burnout myths. There’s a lot of them, but we’re just going to go over 3 big ones. You MAY have heard me mention this a time or 5 on the podcast, but I think they need to be repeated as often as possible and as clearly as possible so that we can collectively change our mind about these ideas. Doing so means that we’ll be more apt to notice burnout and therefore more apt to take it seriously and choose to heal from it.   Let’s jump in   Burnout myth #1 If you work in something that you have a passion for, you’ll never burn out. Or, if you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life. I AM BEGGING YOU. PLEASE STOP THIS NONSENSE. If you have tendencies that lead to burnout and are in culture that promotes burnout, you can burnout no matter how much you love your job or no matter how much you really DO want to make a difference in people’s lives.   Burnout is not a result of a passion deficiency.   The problems with this thinking are that it prevents people that are passionate about their jobs from recognizing their burnouts and it makes everyone who knows they are burnt out question their passions. Your passion isn’t the problem. It’s also not the solution.   Burnout myth #2 Burnout only happens to weak people. Oh boy, I hate this one. There are, for reasons that scientists can’t figure out, people that are more resilient than others. They also can’t agree on a how much adversity or stress increases resiliency and how much breaks it down - because it’s different in each person. Everyone has a threshold for how much they can take and that threshold has nothing to do with your strength. In fact, the strongest among us often carry more than our allotted load, therefore diminishing our resilience and leading us to burnout. Being resilient and increasing resiliency doesn’t make you STRONGER. It makes you more adaptable, more agile, more flexible. Your threshold is a due to a combination of your genetics, your current health, your current environment, the health of your childhood environment, the number of trauma adaptations you have, the amount of support you have, and and and and and. There are so many factors in play. It’s not about weakness, it’s about systems that get overloaded due to factors that are very often outside of the systems control. You can book your call at bit.ly/callcait. CBD: https://incann.com/ CODE: FRIED Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we’re talking to Simone Craig, Wealth Expert on a mission to close the wealth gap one woman at a time. Known as the “Angel CFO”, Simone advises women business owners in making wise financial decisions for maximized business profitability, increased personal wealth and joyful living.    She has 25+ years experience in the financial industry, including the Big 4 company, KPMG Peat Marwick, as well as the private sector.   Simone is a Law of Attraction and manifestation expert. She loves advising her clients how to have the mindset and money management skills to create a thriving business and live a wealthy joyful life. Simone and I met at a networking event in Morristown, NJ through the group Ellevate. She was sitting at a high top table on the far wall, dressed to the 9’s and my favorite thing that I noticed about her was that you could tell immediately that she was an observer of people. We had a good chat that night and then connected on all the social medias - as one does. If you’ve been listening to FRIED for awhile you know that I have some bones to pick with the Law of Attraction and Manifestation, so when I first saw some of Simone’s posts, I was like - oh no, another one. But then, as time passed, she surprised me more and more. Her money advice is practical, grounded, AND spiritual - which is my most favorite of all the combos.  Why is money important when it comes to burnout? It’s really common when you’re on the burnout cycle to also be on a feast or famine cycle and not do a great job of managing your money. Burnout types often have all or nothing attitudes, so we’ll save for ages and then use it all on a big purchase and have to start from scratch. We spend our money like we spend our energy - without attention and without proper boundaries. It’s either built up and stagnant or empty and needing replenishment. In this episode, we talk about the journey of the middle road, consciously choosing balance, awareness, upleveling instead of a life that sits in the extremes. Simone talks about having a moment where she started to reflect more on the future after turning 30 and asking: “How do I make things happen for myself instead of leaving everything on default?” At that point, she found Abraham Hicks, The Secret, The Law of Attraction and she decided to ask if it was all BS or if deliberate creation actually worked. She took responsibility for herself and her finances and gave herself a goal of getting out of her parents house in 12 months. It worked. We chatted about using these techniques when you’re burnt out and why it doesn’t always work and what needs to happen before you can take advantage of these tools. You’ll get all that information and more in this week’s episode of FRIED. Can’t wait to hear what hit you the most and what you’ll take with you moving forward! XOXO Cait   Connect with Cait Book a Call: https://www.caitdonovan.as.me/freecall Website: www.caitdonovan.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/friedtheburnoutpodcast Order My Book: https://bit.ly/bouncebackorder Connect with Simone Website: http://www.simonecraig.com Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/simonelebeauxcraig LinkedIN: http://www.linkedin.com/in/simonecraig P.S. There's a KILLER live course happening SOON - because, folks, it's boundary season. If you feel like you need some support finding and creating solid boundaries to protect you and your energy, this class is for you! We start Nov 13th, join us! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's BOUNDARY SEASON! Yep, that's right. The season that all your boundaries get pushed and 2020 has already pushed them enough, so they might be feeling like electric fences this year! ;) I wrote you a song all to tell you that we start transforming you into a Boundary Building Badass in just 12 short days. Sign ups are open now for The Build Better Boundaries course, it WAS a DIY course but on popular demand, I'm doing a LIVE version with a FB Group and Live Q&A's with yours truly to help you along. After the year we've all had, it's the least I could do. Sign ups are here: https://caitdonovan.com/build-better-boundaries-live Join us. It's gonna be a blast. Like this song. :) <3 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey Fried Fans,   This week’s #straightfromcait episode is the answer to a fan question (I love those, so if you have one that YOU want answered, shoot me an email at cait@caitdonovan.com with the subject: FAN QUESTION and I’ll get to it, it usually takes me about a month to get the episode out and it’s so much fun for me to give you exactly what you need. Here’s the Q: So, the holidays are coming up and if you’re the boss of a department it’s kinda expected that everyone else can take vacation time around the holidays but not you, because someone has to be on deck. So this means, year after year, you work the week of Thanksgiving and the week of Xmas. How do you juggle the expectation that if you’re the boss, your needs come second to your subordinate without getting burnt? OK, my friend. Let’s break this down a little. First, we need to look at the assumptions in this Q. You state: it’s ‘kinda expected’ that everyone else can take vacation time around the holidays but not you. Is this 100% true or is this a story that you told yourself because you took the responsibility on because YOU learned at some point in your life that this is how you think it ‘should’ be (if you missed the episode on shoulding, head back a few weeks and listen in, it’s a good one). You start juggling this expectation by checking yourself. Use these Q’s: Where did this expectation come from? Why do you believe it? What actions have you taken as the boss in previous years that may lead you to believe this is true? What actions have you taken as the boss in previous years that may lead your team to believe that this is true? The basic facts of the matter are this: your needs DON’T come second to your team’s needs. But now, you’re going to have to change the rules of the game on them and you’ll have to expect some blowback. Here’s how it goes: First, you need to decide on a new system. Are you going to rotate the holidays within your team, so one person takes thanksgiving and the other xmas? Is one person going to get the whole year of holidays and then the next 2 or 3 years off (depending on the size of your team) or is there a better solution that you see? I can’t tell you what all the options are without knowing more specifics about the business and the team, but suffice it to say, there’s a better system than leaving all the responsibility eggs in the leaders basket. Second, you need to decide how to present the new system - WITHOUT EMOTION and WITHOUT MENTIONING that you’ve done it in the past for years and years and now you need a break. YOU’RE THE BOSS - you make the rules. Turning yourself into a victim for working the past years will make whoever gets this year’s holidays feel like THEY are the victim. So, it might sound something like this: Hi Everyone, The holidays are coming up and the system for who works the holidays is changing this year. We are going to start rotating who works the week of Thanksgiving and Xmas so that everyone has the opportunity to take real time off during the holidays. This Thanksgiving will be (team member a) and Xmas will be (team member b). If you need to switch with each other, that’s no problem - just be sure that the communication is clear and the person who will be responsible for those days is available. If you’re going to make any changes amongst each other, please let me know by the end of next week. Thank you! :) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we’re talking to Isabel Smith, a Registered Dietician who specializes in helping clients with functional and integrative wellness. One of her main areas of interest in her practice is healing allergies and histamine reactions. This arose out of her own need to use her skills to heal herself after years of living in an apartment with black mold. Isabel is well known and respected in her field and sits on the advisory board for MBODY 360 and Eat This, Not That. Her expert opinions can be found in Elle, Mind Body Green, Reader's Digest, Women’s Health/Men’s Health and now, thankfully, on FRIED. The Burnout Podcast. I’ve known Isabel personally for over a year and I know how seriously she takes her craft. I call it a craft because I don’t know anyone who works with diet and supplements the way Isabel does. She is unafraid of complicated cases and her results, time after time, are astounding. In this episode, she shares snippets from her own life, and her process of working through health issues related to allergies and histamines.   Why is this important when it comes to burnout? Because I’ve found over the years that oftentimes, there are invisible chronic health issues that accompany burnout and are partially responsible for your ability (or inability) to function at the same level of energy as before. This is why I do a full Chinese Medicine health intake with each new coaching client - I need to see what physical components are stealing energy from you. Shifting that often helps to create enough extra energy to deal with the rest. Allergies and histamine reactions accompanied by inflammation are commonly found in burnout and both Isabel and I are passionate about getting you the info you need to shift this part of your life. In this episode, we chat about histamine reactions and symptoms (waking up with puffy eyes, having itchy skin, having reactions to food that didn’t used to bother you, fatigue, foggy headedness, and so many more). Isabel explains (using MINIONS!) how to keep our cells health and shares with us her latest online course, The Histamine Solution Program, that helps guide you through the histamine diet that is perfect for you and gives you the support of a group at the same time. You’ll get all that information and more in this week’s episode of FRIED. Can’t wait for a few of you to have lightbulb moments that lead to great healings! XOXO Cait   Connect with Cait Book a Call: https://www.caitdonovan.as.me/freecall Website: www.caitdonovan.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/friedtheburnoutpodcast Pre-Order My Book: https://bit.ly/bouncebackorder Connect with Isabel Website: http://www.isabelsmithnutrition.com Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/isabelsmithnutrition HISTAMINE SOLUTION: https://www.isabelsmithnutrition.com/health/programs/the-histamine-solution-program P.S. Do something to care for yourself this week and book a FREE call with me! Initial calls last 35 minutes and are a great way to kickstart your burnout recovery. Book your call at caitdonovan.as.me/free. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“Stop should-ing all over yourself” also known as “must-urbation”, why you need to pay attention to the word SHOULD during your burnout recovery. I was laying on the table at my acupuncturists office and I said the thing that I just reprimanded a patient for the night before. “But, my body SHOULD be able to do this!” And as soon as it came out of my mouth, I realized it and my shoulders dropped. Recovering from my ruptured achilles tendon and subsequent surgery over the past year and a half has been much slower and more cumbersome than I would have liked it to be. In the meantime, I’ve put on weight and I’ve started “should-ing” all over myself. I should eat better. I should be able to exercise more. I should create better habits. I should I should I should. Here’s the thing: accepting the limitations that my body currently has and trying to improve in small increments works better than forcing myself past what I’m capable of and then needing extra time to recover. The same goes for you during your burnout recovery. It doesn’t matter if you USED to be able to do something. It doesn’t matter if you’re annoyed that you’re unable right now. It doesn’t matter if you think your body SHOULD be able to do something. Your job during burnout recovery is to use your current limitations to create your current boundaries. They will shift and widen as you heal, I promise, but when you’re starting out - you need more space, more cushion, more blank time in your schedule, more gentle movement, and more grace for your process. Most of us that burnout stay stuck on the burnout cycle because of the Should-ing. Because we are comparing our current abilities to what we used to be able to do. Guess what? You’re burnt out. Your current abilities are less than what you’re used to and if you don’t learn how to adjust, you’ll just stay on this cycle for years and years and years. Trust me, that’s exactly what I did. Burnout is invisible to the naked eye. There are plenty of things changing in your body and in your brain, but because you can’t see it, you don’t adjust. You just keep pushing, believing that you can because you used to be able to. But let’s think about it a minute. When you’re burnt out, lets say that you have 40% of your normal energy. Why on EARTH should you be able to do as much as before on 60% less energy? If your gas tank was only 40% full, would you be able to drive the same number of miles as you could on a full tank? Pay attention to your limits and listen to them. Stop should-ing all over yourself. Work within what you’ve got and you’ll start to recover. Promise. If you’re not sure where your boundaries are, start taking note of all the times you tell yourself during the day that you should or must do something and then start eliminating/delegating all those jobs :) This concept and so many more uber practical tips are what make up the 200 pages of The Bouncebackability Factor, which, if you haven’t bought yet - I seriously don’t know what you’re waiting for! Also, if you don’t think that you can possibly eliminate or delegate and you’re stuck thinking that change is impossible, please know that you’re wrong. LOL. My job is to prove this to people every single day. I’m taking 8 more clients until the end of 2020 and starting the new year with a price increase, so if you want to get in at the current rate, you should book your free call before the holidays! bit.ly/callcait Talk to you soon! Cait FIND CAIT ONLINE: https://caitdonovan.com BOOK YOUR FREE CONSULT: bit.ly/callcait BOOK ACUPUNCTURE IN NYC: https://caitdonovanacupuncture.com SEE ALL FRIED EPISODES: https://friedtheburnoutpodcast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In today’s episode, we’re talking to Sarah O’Brien Hammond. Sarah is the Chief Community Officer and Founder of The Network of Women. Driven by her own life’s journey, her mission is to bring together growth-minded women through diverse and unique experiences focused on helping them live their best, most fulfilled life in a supportive, judgement free safe space. I’ve been attending NoW events since I moved to the US and Sarah has proven to be an amazing connector of people and friend. During our conversation, Sarah shares how she checked all the boxes, did all the things that society told her to do along the way, added a few Ironmans for a good time, and still woke up one day thinking:   Is this it?!?!? Sarah continued, “I hit a wall. It happened to me at 41. I was like oh my gosh, I’m exhausted, and I’m not happy, and I’m not fulfilled, and I’ve been working my ass off for all these years and this is where I’m at?” How many of us has stopped and asked ourselves, “Is this IT!?” I know I did. I played by all the rules, I even added some heart following along the way and made some bold decisions and still reached a point where I was like… “Is this what I now have to do as an adult for the next 50 or so years? WTF for? What is the point? This sucks!” As our convo continued, we got into Sarah’s zone of genius which is networking and connecting and she gave us 3 amazing tips for avoiding networking burnout. Be realistic about what you can commit to. Know your bandwidth. Know your boundaries. Be sure you’re not signing up for everything available just because you feel like you should. If you can commit to one hour a month, use it well.  Be Intentional with choosing your events. Choose them for yourself and not just growing your business. Prep for them and be present when you’re there. Know your ask. What are you looking to get out of the event? Who can you help? Are you looking for clients or maybe a referral source? Being clear on what you’re striving for makes it easier to get and makes your introductions more clear!   I love talking to Sarah and it was great to have her on FRIED because I got to sneak an extra hour of chatting with her which is always fun for me. The thing that hit me most in this episode was that you can literally have it all and still burn out. What is one thing that stuck out for you from this conversation? What’s your biggest takeaway?   Both Sarah and I would love to know, so please share and tag us on social media so we can support and cheer for you!   Connect with Cait Website: www.caitdonovan.com Instagram: www.instagram.com/friedtheburnoutpodcast Pre-Order My Book: https://bit.ly/bouncebackorder Connect with Sarah Website: https://www.thenownyc.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thenownyc/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/thenownyc/ LinkedIN: https://linkedin.com/in/sarahobrienhammond USE CODE: NOWGUEST for free access to an event at The NoW!  Xo Cait   P.S. Do something to care for yourself this week and book a FREE Breakthrough Burnout Call with me! Initial calls last 35 minutes and are a great way to kickstart your burnout recovery. Book your call at caitdonovan.as.me/free.   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi Fried Fans,   We’re taking it real serious today and I’m starting with a TRIGGER WARNING! - we will be discussing suicidal ideations today. If you are sensitive to this topic, I suggest skipping this episode. If you are having suicidal ideations, I highly recommend that you reach out to the suicidepreventionhotline.org - this is applicable no matter where you are in the world.   And after I wrote that intro piece, I avoided writing the next part. I checked facebook, replied to an email from a coaching client, scrolled through Instagram because even though I know we NEED to talk about this, it’s a little bit big and scary. If you’ve been listening to FRIED for awhile, you already know that there aren’t many conversations that I shy away from. I am big fan of leaning into difficult conversations - it’s part of what makes me a good coach and part of what gets the good juice out of interviewees. The conversation gets even more interesting if you’ve already read The Bouncebackability Factor because I write about suicidal ideations in the book - so the information is out there and the feedback I’m getting from it tells me that you thought you were alone in these thought patterns, that you were the only one who thought like this, and you’re grateful to know that you’re not.   When my first coaching client mentioned that she had been dreaming of getting into a car accident just to get a break from life, I wasn’t shocked. I was relieved at her honesty. When a podcast guest said she seriously considered veering off the road into a tree - just to break a leg and be able to spend some time in the hospital, I felt the truth of her statement in my gut. When over and over again my highly accomplished successful female entrepreneur clients tell me that they wish they could escape, I know that we’re about to make a breakthrough. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices