The Modern Phoenix

What if the key to getting hard tasks done when you're overwhelmed (or just bored!) isn't willpower—but more pleasure? This week, Gervase shares how to work with your nervous system by infusing your daily life with pleasure and intentionality when you want to give up. This isn't about numbing out or pushing through. It's about tending to yourself so you can stay in the game instead of burning out or bailing when things get tough. Hit play now to discover: The kitchen sink saga that sparked this episode, and why it's Gervase's North Star when it comes to her business, parenting and I getting sh*tty tasks done (aka: never-ending admin!) The ONE question to ask yourself when you want to bail on a hard task so you can stay in the game without burning out Why adding just 1% more pleasure can ease overwhelm, help you get the thing done, and soothe your nervous system How intention anchors you when motivation is low and pressure is high How to stay in the "uncomfortable middle" when you want to quit your job (and burn it all down!) If you're tired of grinding your way through resistance (or giving up and regretting it later) and you'd like to adopt a more joyful, soul-honoring way of being during these moments, this short and simple episode is for you. Follow Gervase 📲 Let's hang out on IG: @gervasekolmos ✨ Want to go deeper (and get juicy discounts)? Sign up to Gervase's newsletter https://www.gervasekolmos.com/

For this week's podcast, I brought along a friend… high-performance relationship coach and gender dynamics social scientist, Katarina Polonska! In this episode, we discuss how to make the difficult decision of whether to stay or leave a relationship, how to navigate messy power struggles, and how to move from individualism to collaboration to build stronger, more connected relationships. Yep, we cover it all! Watch this episode now to discover: The #1 way to get clarity on whether you should stay or leave a relationship (hint: the result is win-win: you either transform the relationship or you leave and find someone who is more aligned) The 6-month strategy to "clean up your side of the street" and find undeniable clarity The blame game that often happens in the power struggle phase of a relationship when our wounds (aka: sneaky unaddressed demons) like to come out The responsibility we have to try and understand our partner's needs and to hold them AND ours with equal importance How we've moved away from being collaborative in relationships to being individualistic and believing our needs matter more than our partners A mindset shift that can help you have a better relationship with your in-laws and extended family (even if you couldn't be more yin and yang!) About Katarina Polonska: Katarina is a high-performance relationship coach and gender dynamics social scientist who specializes in helping people make clear relationship decisions. Her expertise in attachment theory, behavioral science of attraction, and the cultural influences on relationships provides a unique framework for understanding and transforming relationship patterns. Follow Gervase Connect with Gervase on Instagram to get her best scroll-stopping insights www.instagram.com/gervasekolmos And for even more wisdom (and juicy discounts), sign up to her newsletter so you never miss out https://www.gervasekolmos.com/

Does every task on your to-do list feel as equally urgent and like a threat to your survival? In this week's episode, Gervase dives deep into the pattern of over-functioning that keeps so many women stuck in perpetual stress. You'll learn why your nervous system gets locked in high alert and overdrive, even for unimportant tasks such as the laundry. And how this cycle of perpetual doing and achieving causes burnout and a never-ending sense of "psychotic urgency." And to help you rewire these patterns, Gervase shares practical steps such as how to reconnect to your body, slow down and create moments of calm even in the chaos of modern life. Watch this episode now to discover: The biggest indicator that you're an over-functioner and how this "psychotic urgency" prevents you from being, enjoying and living life Why your brain can't relax when it's stuck in overfunctioning without signals from your body first (and how this creates a chicken-and-egg problem for over-functioners) The real cost of constantly operating like a computer instead of honoring your HUMAN need for rhythm, rest and pleasure A simple 4-step practice to interrupt the overfunctioning pattern when you feel yourself spiraling The narcissistic-like belief many of us have that unknowingly depletes your energy (and how to contribute without sacrificing yourself) How to create 30-second intervals throughout your day to tune into your body's wisdom and gradually rewire your nervous system Follow Gervase - Connect with Gervase on Instagram to get her best scroll-stopping insights http://www.instagram.com/gervasekolmos - And for even more wisdom (and her juiciest discounts and invites), sign up to her newsletter https://www.gervasekolmos.com

Tired of contorting yourself into a pretzel so you're liked? Or so you don't make others feel uncomfortable by being YOU? In this week's episode (which is our first ever video podcast!), Gervase dives deep into why women have been conditioned to "perform" and prioritize being liked over being authentic. You'll learn practical tools and a few hard-hitting truth bombs to help you break free from this hypervigilance so you can come home to yourself. Watch this episode to discover: Why you're taught that likeability is the gold standard for women (while men aren't held to the same expectation) What this hypervigilance on everybody else's comfort level is doing to your nervous system The real cost of abandoning yourself to please others (hint: no amount of external validation can make up for the 3 things that you're losing) Why other people's triggers about you are actually reflections of their OWN discomfort, and have nothing to do with you How to stop making yourself responsible for others' emotions and reclaim your power and agency A practical exercise to transform your relationship with triggers so you can use them as data for self-discovery The intoxicating freedom that comes when you focus on liking yourself rather than being liked by everyone else Want Gervase's personal guidance? If you'd like to become who you're really meant to be (instead of who they told you to be), you're invited to join Gervase's upcoming Inner Knowing Mastermind. During these 8 group calls, you'll get an embodied sense of who you are, what's right for you, and how to choose it. But hurry: the first call starts April 30th - and to keep them intimate, there's only a limited number of seats left! Visit GervaseKolmos.com/inner-knowing-mastermind to reserve yours now. Follow Gervase Connect with Gervase on Instagram to get her best scroll-stopping insights www.instagram.com/gervasekolmos And for even more wisdom (and juicy discounts), sign up to her newsletter so you never miss out https://www.gervasekolmos.com/

The pressure to be more, do more, have more is exhausting, but what if the real problem isn't you… but the unrealistic expectations you've internalized? In this week's episode, G unpacks the invisible forces keeping women stuck in a cycle of never enough, and reveals why Inner Knowing is the path to authentic happiness and fulfillment. She'll show you how to tune into your own body and soul wisdom, how to identify when you are being led by external pressures, and how to trust your inner compass to make empowered, aligned choices. You'll learn: What Inner Knowing is and why it's so important for modern women How to start listening to the body and soul's signals for easier, more aligned decision making How to break free from external expectations and step into your true essence Practical tips on how to trust intuition in everyday life The power of making decisions based on what feels right, not what looks right Our souls are literally begging us to pay attention to our inner truth- and how we feel - instead of who we "should" be, how we are "supposed" to act and who they told us we are. If you'd like to learn how to access your inner knowing - anytime and anywhere - join G in her Inner Knowing Mastermind. This powerful 8 week experience will unlock the wisdom of your body and soul, and help you create a life aligned with your deepest truth. Sessions begin April 30th, and spots are limited. Act now and learn how to free yourself from the pressure, perfectionism and "pushing through" of modern life. It's time you live a life that lights you up from the inside out. Go here to enroll and get more details: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/inner-knowing-mastermind Follow Gervase Connect with Gervase on Instagram: www.instagram.com/themodernphoenix Visit her website: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/

Have you ever found yourself completely overwhelmed, frustrated, or stuck in a cycle you can't seem to break? You may feel your body tense up, your mind race, or feel paralyzed by indecision. You know you're triggered, but you're not so sure what to do next. In this episode of The Modern Phoenix, Gervase dives into what it actually takes to move through a trigger, not just from a logical, intellectual place, but through a somatic and soul strategy that allows you to shift your nervous system and return to a state of clarity, empowerment, and ease. This is not your basic "identifying triggers" surface-level episode. This is about integration - learning to recognize, resource, and regulate yourself in real-time so you stop spinning in mental loops and start embodying a new way of being. Listen in as Gervase shares how to move from an activated state into a place of true self-knowing and safety, so that the next time a trigger hits, you'll know exactly how to navigate it. If you're tired of being hijacked by your triggers and ready to move through them with ease, grace, and actual solutions, hit play now. And if you're feeling called to go deeper, Gervase's Inner Knowing Mastermind is now open! Check out the links below for more info. What you'll learn: Why knowing about triggers isn't enough (and what actually shifts them) The biggest mistake we make when trying to "fix" a triggered state How to recognize and work with your body's activation responses (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) A simple question to ask yourself when you're overwhelmed and don't know what to do How resourcing yourself properly can completely shift how you experience triggers in the future Why emotional intelligence isn't just a mental game, but a Mind-Body-Soul strategy *NEW* The Inner Knowing Mastermind. A sacred space to develop unshakable self-trust and body and soul-led intuition This 8 week group coaching/ live training experience is designed to give you access to your deepest, most profound truth, and help create a life that makes YOU most happy (instead of all the pushing, pretending and people-pleasing that creates so much stress and incongruence now). If you are a woman who has "it all" but still feels something is wrong despite all you've "done right," this mastermind is for you. G will help you unlearn the conditioning that keeps you trapped, and tap into your soul-voice and body wisdom to live a life of authenticity, freedom and feeling fucking good. It's time you get to be who you REALLY are, not who *they* told you to be. Follow Gervase Connect with Gervase on Instagram: www.instagram.com/themodernphoenix Visit her website: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/

Have you ever felt like something in your life, career, or relationships isn't working, and instead of questioning the system, you immediately assume you must be the problem? That there's something wrong with you, that you're not trying hard enough, that if you were just different, everything would fall into place? This episode of The Modern Phoenix is a wake-up call. Gervase shares a raw and powerful riff from the vault - straight from a live coaching session. She dives into the deep-rooted conditioning that convinces women to gaslight themselves, unpacks how the systems we exist in, like patriarchy, capitalism, and generational conditioning, keep us in a cycle of self-doubt and self-abandonment. Most importantly, she offers a different perspective: what if your emotions, your overwhelm, your desire for change aren't personal failures, but signals that the ecosystem around you needs to shift? If you're ready to reframe your inner dialogue, reclaim your discernment, and trust yourself enough to create the ripple effect that leads to real, systemic change, listen in now. What you'll learn: Why so many high-achieving women believe they are the problem (and why that's a lie) How to recognize when burnout and dissatisfaction are signals and not personal failings The power of the shift; trusting your emotions instead of suppressing them How to have your own back through the inevitable cycles of transformation What it really means to be a culture-changer in your own ecosystem Are you ready to stop gaslighting yourself? To stop thinking that you're ALWAYS the problem, and start accessing your inner wisdom? Be a woman that has her own back. Start with a Soul Shift: The Soul Shift Intensive was created for the woman who is ready to leave behind the stories society has conditioned her to believe, and instead embrace the calm and clarity that comes with being connected to soul wisdom. Check it out here: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/the-soul-shift-intensive Follow Gervase Connect with Gervase on Instagram: www.instagram.com/themodernphoenix Visit her website: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/

How often do you hold back, soften your words, or twist yourself into knots just to make sure no one gets upset? Whether it's navigating a tough conversation with your partner, setting boundaries with your kids, or simply taking time for yourself without guilt, many of us have been conditioned to prioritize other people's comfort over our own truth. In this episode of The Modern Phoenix, Gervase is sharing a behind-the-scenes look at a live coaching call from The Phoenix Revolution, where she explored the deeply ingrained belief that your peace depends on everyone else being okay. If you've ever found yourself walking on eggshells, silencing your needs, or measuring success by how well you "land the plane" in a tough conversation, this episode is for you. You'll hear real coaching, real breakthroughs, and a powerful shift in how we approach boundaries, self-trust, and standing in our truth, even when it's uncomfortable. What you'll learn: Why so many of us feel unsafe when someone is upset with us (and how to shift this pattern) How placing your power outside yourself keeps you stuck in people-pleasing patterns The sneaky ways perfectionism and control show up in relationships What it really looks like to stand firm in your truth, even when it's uncomfortable A new way to approach difficult conversations that centers your needs, not just theirs Tired of bending over backwards to keep the peace? Are you curious what it would feel like to burn people-pleasing patterns away and stand in your own truth, powerful and calm in the face of chaos, or other people's expectations? It starts with a Soul Shift: The Soul Shift Intensive was created for the woman who is ready to leave behind the stories society has conditioned her to believe, and instead embrace the calm and clarity that comes with being connected to soul wisdom. Check it out here: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/the-soul-shift-intensive Did someone mention Pleasure? Summer may be over but the Summer of Pleasure free Masterclass is timeless: Read more here: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/summer-of-pleasure Follow Gervase Connect with Gervase on Instagram: www.instagram.com/themodernphoenix Visit her website: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/ Resources: IG Reel: It's Not Your Job To Make Them Happy Book: The Science of Getting Rich

Have you ever been told that you're too emotional? Or do you avoid crying at all costs because you don't want to look weak? In this week's episode, Gervase flips this narrative upside down, offering a powerful reframe that reveals why crying is actually a profound act of healing, as well as an opportunity for connection and growth. Listen in as she breaks down the societal indoctrinations and personal barriers that make us resistant to feeling our emotions, as well as the physiological and intuitive benefits of crying, making a case for why embracing your tears is a radical and necessary practice. What you'll learn: Why the fear of being "too emotional" is costing us authenticity How patriarchy, capitalism, and even feminism condition us to suppress emotions. How allowing emotions to flow can deepen our relationships and create a bridge to our intuition The physiological benefits of crying, including access to soul-wisdom Why creating safe, intentional spaces to feel is key to emotional health How women's circles, somatic healing, and working with a trained facilitator can help you access your intuition, soul wisdom, and deeper clarity Are you ready to stop suppressing your emotions and start accessing your inner wisdom? Start with a Soul Shift: The Soul Shift Intensive was created for the woman who is ready to leave behind the stories society has conditioned her to believe, and instead embrace the calm and clarity that comes with being connected to soul wisdom. Check it out here: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/the-soul-shift-intensive Follow Gervase Connect with Gervase on Instagram: www.instagram.com/gervasekolmos Visit her website: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/

When it's deeper than talk therapy, it needs a mind-body-soul approach. This week on the Modern Phoenix, Gervase shares insights from her mental health journey turned full-blown personal evolution. Listen in as she opens up about how transitioning from mind-based therapy to soul and body-centered practices like focalizing, somatic healing, and nervous system regulation opened new paths to healing and inner transformation. As she recounts pivotal moments that shaped her understanding of herself, she shares the profound power of trauma responses, intuition, inner child healing, and more, inviting you to look beyond conventional therapy practices and consider your own unique path to healing. What you'll learn: The strengths and limitations of talk therapy that led Gervase to explore mind-body-soul healing The role of somatic practices and nervous system regulation in mental health What it means to understand and address trauma responses through body awareness Why shifting from self-fixing to self-tending is crucial for healing The importance of integrating mind, body, and soul in any healing journey How to embrace the complexity of healing and look beyond conventional therapy practices. New to the idea of Mind-Body-Soul integration? Start by dropping into your body wisdom with a Somatic Soul Session: For the first time ever, current, past and new clients can enjoy a 60 minute session with Gervase to set intentions for the New Year, get clear and focused when you feel stuck and overwhelmed, or address any persistent problems that keep recurring. Get unstuck and tap into your body wisdom. On sale through January. Buy it now, use it any time this year: https://gervasekolmos.podia.com/f1c7c21a-5772-4222-bf65-7bac78672c33/buy Follow Gervase Connect with Gervase on Instagram: www.instagram.com/gervasekolmos Visit her website: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/