Productive Flourishing Podcast

Ash Beckham is today’s guest on the show. She frequently speaks on empathy, respect, and the power of having real conversations. Her two TedX talks have over 10 million views on YouTube. She joins Charlie to talk about how we can master real, and sometimes hard, conversations in an age of combativeness. Hint: It’s not about making others adopt your perspective.[3:00] - In her TedX talk “Coming Out of Your Own Closet,” Ash talks about coming to terms with her sexual identity and gender fluidity. She says she experiences “phases of militant lesbian intensity.” For many people, when they come to terms with their identity, it’s an introspective version at first, then they decide how they want that to exist in the world. Once Ash figured out how she felt most comfortable in her identity, there was a need to defend her struggle to be comfortable with herself. Her “new normal” became her constantly being on guard to defend herself, and conversations became combative.[6:15] - People in marginalized groups are often always thinking about whether they’re in a safe environment. Sometimes we focus on the people who may not accept us, and overlook the instances where people don’t care or are open and ready to accept. When we engage in conversation, we have to think about whether it’s going to be a conversation, or a monologue. We have to be in control of our responses when we perceive we’re being judged.[11:15] - Many of us have been involved in conversation where someone is hurt by the words. We may forget that in some contexts, we are in fact the marginalizing or oppressing person, and we’re quick to get defensive because we wouldn’t intentionally do that. Just because you are marginalized doesn’t mean you’re immune to oppressing other marginalized people. Even if we think we can relate to someone, we have to keep our situations in perspective when we converse with people.[14:50] - While we can emotionally understand what it’s like to be someone else, it’s important to remember that we all have our own lived experiences, and we can never fully imagine someone else’s circumstances until we’ve experienced them ourselves. It is important when building relationships with people who aren’t like you, to build trust where you can share the stories that will allow you to really understand what their situation is like. This open dialogue allows people to become advocates or allies for marginalized groups with some credibility. Standing with someone is maybe more important than standing up for someone.[17:15] - Identity fluidity is how a person self-identifies. Several identities (race, sexual identity, etc) transition into intersectionality. We are comprised of all of our identities and that’s how we present ourselves in the world. We can’t necessarily separate the identities from each other.[21:05] - This intersectionality can be influenced by the context of our situation. This concept is easily relatable because we all operate differently in different contexts. We may downplay parts of our identity depending on the people we’re with.[23:00] - There is a lot of primed combativeness in the world today. The challenge is finding compassion in all this combativeness. Social media has given us a way to find people who are like us, but change isn’t about surrounding ourselves with people who are just like us. The way to create change is by surrounding ourselves with people who aren’t like us and creating structured relationships so we know how to interact, relate and connect with people in a real way.[26:50] - When we start having conversations based on what people need and want, we can start to find a middle ground. It’s easy to surround ourselves with people who think like us, but if we only do that, we become more polarized. The real change is going to come from interacting with people who don’t think the same as us and finding a middle ground with them.[29:00] - With the many polarized opinions in the world today, how do we interact in situations when we’re around people we don’t agree with? With family members, there is shared history. This shared history can help ground conversation in something other than politics, and you can also set rules around a level of respect if the conversation goes a different direction. Rather than focusing on being right or wrong, truly engaging to learn more about another person’s perspective is how we can start having respectful conversations.[33:15] - Having feeling in conversations can be hard and uncomfortable sometimes. We can practice by effectively engaging with people who have slightly different opinions than us, and create a safe space where you can practice listening without judgement. Once you’re able to listen without judgement, you can respectfully engage in conversation with people who have vastly different beliefs than you.[37:30] - We engage with other people to broaden our perspective of what it means to identify as a different race, religion, political view, etc. If we’re only listening and engaging with people who think just like us, we’re not truly respecting diversity. Ash shares a specific example of using the word ‘gay’ and how by engaging in respectful conversation, she is able to help others understand and appreciate how using that word in a negative connotation is hurtful not only to her, but to everyone. The breadth of the change becomes much larger.[41:00] - We get caught up in the mentality of being politically correct and saying the right thing, that we shut down from engaging in conversation altogether. That inhibits progress for allies to learn the best ways to support marginalized people and be educators for other people, or just educating other people about your thoughts and beliefs. Some of the most challenging conversations are those with people who want to engage but don’t know how, or people who are scared to engage or have been discouraged from engaging.[44:55] - Three steps people can take to start having hard conversations: 1. The first step is to practice. Practice in safe spaces. 2. Accountability - find someone who wants to go on the journey with you and hold you accountable to starting the more challenging conversations. 3. Find one news source that is different than what you usually listen to and read an article a day from somebody who thinks differently than you.[46:55] - Ash’s challenge for listeners is to have one hard conversation before the next time you listen to the Productive Flourishing podcast.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingTEDx Talk: Coming Out of Your ClosetTEDx Talk: Owning Your DualityAsh BeckhamSaneBox This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

Today’s guest is Parker Stevenson, a musician turned corporate manager, turned member of Evolved Finance. Evolved Finance is a bookkeeping, financial consulting, and business education company dedicated to helping online entrepreneurs create profitable and healthy businesses. Charlie and Parker talk about using business financial awareness as a fuel for growth. They discuss the mistakes entrepreneurs make with their money, and some general guidelines on how to manage the money you do make. No matter where you are in your creative or entrepreneurial journey, your financial reports can tell you where, or how your business might grow.Key Takeaways:3:20] – For many creative people, entrepreneurs, or small business owners, talking about financing and money is not something they want to do. On the flip side, this can be something that makes a huge difference in their business thriving.[4:15] – Parker comes from one of these creative backgrounds – his family was very musical and he was in a band in LA, but while he was in school he also got a business degree. His musical background helped his next corporate experience (with Adidas), because while he was in the band he was essentially running his own small business with his band. He worked his way up at Adidas but was missing aspects of being a musician. His current position with Evolve Finance allows him to combine the best of both worlds – the entrepreneurial side of being a musician and the stability of the corporate world. At Evolve, they help online business owners and entrepreneurs manage the financial side of their business through bookkeeping and do other financial business coaching.[7:25] – Parker shares some of the important lessons he learned through his previous background that he is able to apply to his position today. The first is the hustle involved in being a musician – you have to create the thing you’re selling as well as market it, network, and keep the “business” operating. As a musician, he was also always seeking opportunities. In the corporate world, he learned how to operate a complex organization, which he was able to directly apply to the branding and operational processes at Evolve.[10:25] – Sometimes making the jump from being in corporate to being an entrepreneur is hard because you go from being a specialist to being a generalist. Knowing which category you fall in will be helpful as you move forward in your business so you know if there are areas where you’ll need to get some help or outside expertise. There is also a lot of personal investment when you’re selling a product that you’ve created.[14:05] – One of the phases many of the clients at Evolve go through is once they scale to a large enough size, they are usually looking for someone who is a generalist, like a business manager or operations manager, who can handle several things at once. This is a game changer for many small businesses, and allows you as the entrepreneur to focus on your creative work.[16:30] – When looking for opportunities, creatives have a tendency to go after too many opportunities and chase too many revenue streams. Financially, chasing an additional revenue stream might actually deplete the other one. Parker makes the analogy of a business operating on two batteries: a money battery, and a time battery. It may take some experimenting to see what combination is going to maximize both your time and money.[20:35] - There is a humility in letting the numbers tell you what is actually working. Sometimes the things we want to be successful are not actually the things that are the most profitable for the business. Many new entrepreneurs don’t realize how much money they can make off of one thing.[23:45] - Today, it’s easier to advertise across several platforms, and it’s easier to find your audience. There is not as much of an upfront cost to find your audience. If you can afford to invest a little bit of money up front for advertising your product, you may be able to save some time for content creation.[28:50] - What areas should new businesses invest in to get the most bang for their buck? In today’s day and age, it’s important to invest the most money in your website and your software. Once you have that, you can do a lot on your own. The next big investment would be labor, whether it’s people to help you create or project-type contractors to help you manage. Advertising is also another area where successful businesses are investing. Be cautious about over-investing in these areas too soon. Charlie talks about the benefits of saving a little on your website investment to get good copyrighting from the start.[34:55] - Some of these investments may seem like a lot of money, but from a business perspective, these long-term investments will continue to bring you money. Making small investments in the early stages can help your business grow faster.[37:15] - Many times when we’re assessing our strategic opportunities, we compare the good points of our current decision against the bad points of a different decision. A better way to do this is to consider the disadvantages and advantages of your current decision, and compare those to the disadvantages and advantages of the other different decisions.[41:10] - There are some baseline ratios that indicate a healthy business. For labor, you want 20-35%, depending on your type of business. Advertising costs can vary, but Parker notes the importance of getting a positive ROI; it’s not necessarily about how much you’re spending, but about how much you’re bringing in for each dollar you spend on marketing. The profit margin should be considered the most, though it is also dependent on your situation. Most businesses should strive for 30%-50% profit.[46:45] - As you’re in different stages of your business, these ratios might shift, and that is okay! If you’re hiring, margins might be tight for a bit, but you’re opening up the business to be able to serve more clients. These ratios might also change depending on whether your business is a service-based business or a product-based business.[50:00] - When you’re ready to hire someone new, you have to look at your profit margin to see if you can afford to bring someone new to the business. Again, this should be evaluated depending on whether you’re a service-based or product-based business. Rather than focusing on a number or ratio, you should ask yourself whether hiring a new person is really going to free you up to do more creative work. If you feel like you’re going to get a good return on the labor investment, find the money and figure it out.[56:30] - A lot of small business owners talk about profit without including their owner’s pay. If you know your business needs to pay you, make sure you include that in your profit margin. You don’t have a profitable business if your business is not able to pay you. You also have to make sure you’re saving money for taxes, anywhere from 30%-40%. For a smaller business, putting away 20%-25% should put you in a good place.[1:00:15] - Your P&L (profit & loss) statement is important to make sure you’re capturing all of your business expenses so your profit is 100% accurate. You also want to make sure these things are accurate for filing taxes. It’s also important to get an accountant for taxes - you don’t want to do it by yourself and risk getting in trouble.[1:03:25] Parker’s invitation and challenge to listeners is to take a look at where you’re at for the year. Look all the way back to January and see how those months look, and challenge yourself to understand what’s going on with the money in those months. Getting to know your numbers in a way that’s clear and easy to understand can change the way you start to see your business.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingSaneBoxEvolved FinanceProductive Flourishing Podcast Episode 78: The 3 Essential Pieces of Your Business's Legal, Tax and Financial Foundation with Kyle DurandProductive Flourishing Podcast Episode 163: Jacquette Timmons: The Relationship Between Your Identity and Your Finances This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

Angela joins Charlie on the show today to talk about communication technology in our lives. This is an engaging conversation about how our connection to technology affects our connections and relationships with the people around us. They talk about creating healthy boundaries with communication technology that allow us to focus more time on things that benefit us, as well as investing more in the relationships we have with the people who are most important to us.Key Takeaways:[3:24] - We often set boundaries for our work and our relationships with other people, but sometimes we need to set boundaries for ourselves and our communication technology.[5:27] - 25 years ago, before text messages and smartphones, there were different expectations around how people engaged with each other. With today’s technology, we can be in constant communication with people, but we feel more disconnected with people than when we didn’t talk to them all the time. There are also more expectations for instantaneous responses.[8:45] - We used to go to the computer to complete specific tasks, like write a paper, or search for something specific on the web. After we were finished, we would turn the computer off and be done with it. Nowadays, we are always connected to a computer via smartphone or tablet, and even when we’re with other people, there’s always that device intruding into the conversation.[12:20] - What is our connection to technology doing to our generation and future generations? Angela muses about how communication will change and how that will influence how connected people feel to each other. Today we are connected to so many more people in so many more ways because of technology, and while that can be a good thing, we’re often not connected to all those people on a deeper relational level than when we’re connected in person. On the flip side, being able to communicate from behind a screen has helped some more feel more comfortable.[15:15] - There’s no real evidence that the technological connections we have with people have allowed us to exceed Dunbar’s number. Dunbar’s number states that once we get past 150 people, we can’t have meaningful connections with people. When it comes to today’s technology, this may mean that we are less strongly connected with the people that we are physically around, since we’re trying to be connected with so many people via our technology.[19:20] - There are benefits of these communicative technologies, especially if you aren’t around people in your physical community that you can really relate to. Being able to connect via technology can help you find your tribe and people that you relate to even if they aren’t in the same place you are. There doesn’t necessarily need to be a distinction between these people and people you are physically connected to - it’s really more about how true to yourself you are in these relationships.[21:30] - Multi-threading is more common with today’s technology than it was 25 years ago. We’re often doing something on our phones or computers while we’re watching a show or listening to a book. This could be where we’re experiencing the lack of connection, because sometimes it can feel like people can’t just slow down to be with you in that time. Charlie talks about his reasoning to get an Apple Watch and how this has helped him sort of get back to staying connected and keeping communicative technology separate and intentional.[25:13] - We’re never really offline, and that has a tremendous impact on who we are as people and our ability to really show up when we’re meant to be somewhere. Never having technology off and away from you never allows you to be fully present in the moment. So much of our attention and our energy is being zapped from us all the time with technology. Angela talks about a client she had who would always check the news on her phone before she got out of bed, and she and Charlie talk about how this affects the rest of the day.[29:55] - What fires together wires together, and just the act of touching our phones can lead to the chain of events that gets us invested in the news or social media on our phones. The more that we touch our phones and do the same things, the more we are priming ourselves to do that every time, even if that’s not originally why we grabbed our phones in the first place. If you are a person who is addicted to apps on the phone, you can remove them from your phone and see the change. If you turn it off, you can finally start to hear your own voice.[33:43] - Charlie talks about a study that showed that the apps you use the most on your phone are actually the ones that make you the least happy, and those you use the least make you the most happy. The apps that people use most on their phones are social media apps. Typically when we aren’t feeling great we get on social media, where we are bombarded with people’s curated experiences or people expressing frustration or anger. It’s not always particularly uplifting.[38:05] - Creating a boundary from digital technology by separating yourself from your phone and apps can be very powerful. It’s hard to do the work that matters if you’re constantly distracted by other people’s experiences or the news, etc. Instead you can focus on doing your best work and investing in the relationships you do have the strongest ties with. Being intentional about deciding to create this boundary is very a powerful choice.[41:30] - Angela talks about the benefits of her decision to create some boundaries with technology. In the past month or so, as she’s separated herself from media, she’s going to bed earlier, exercising more, eating better, and reading stuff she actually wants to read. Many of us have habits associated with our consumption of passive media, and you can try to control those responses, or you can create a boundary that cuts those ties and gives you time to do more productive things.[46:20] - For people who love social media and other communicative technology, that’s okay. Do a full audit to see if the benefit outweighs the other costs of using that technology. If it doesn’t, see what kind of choices you could make that could accomplish the same goals that could even create stronger connections.[48:23] - The invitation/challenge for this week is to really take stock of the ways in which you’re using technology to be in connection with other people, and experiment with what it might be like to remove some of those from your daily flow.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingCreative Giant CampfireDeep Work, by Cal NewportAlone Together, by Sherry TurkleSaneBox This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

Tara Gentile is an author and business strategist, who works with entrepreneurs and helps them design their personal “quiet power strategy” that will tap into their strengths and help them lead themselves where they want to go. She teaches her clients how to find what makes them most effective. Her work has been featured in Fast Company, Forbes, Design Sponge, and in the bestselling book The $100 Startup. She is also an instructor and speaker, teaching about entrepreneurship, money, and the new economy. She joins Charlie on the show today to talk about her journey and her work and share some of her insights on the entrepreneurial world.  Key Takeaways:01:40 – How Tara got started doing what she does.06:28 – The hardest lessons Tara learned during her first years of business.09:58 – How Tara’s background in religious studies helped and also didn’t help in her early years of business.13:23 – Figuring out how what you create aligns with people’s worldviews and with their needs and with their values.14:29 – Entrepreneurs realizing that they’re solving the same problem everyone else is solving, but doing it in a way that’s completely unique to you.15:42 – What Kick Start Labs is all about.18:40 – How Tara balances being an introvert and doing the work that she does.23:51 – How being a control freak can get in the way of being an entrepreneur and navigating a business.28:37 – Moments in Tara’s career that made her know for sure this was what she wanted to be doing.34:33 – What Tara is afraid of right now in her work. 37:57 – The most unanticipated challenge Tara is currently facing.39:30 – Leverage what’s most effective for you. Mentioned In This Episode:Quiet Power StrategyFast CompanyForbesDesign SpongeThe New York TimesThe $100 Startup, Chris GuillebeauCreativeLiveLebanon Valley CollegeBorders Books and MusicKick Start LabsEtsyPioneer Nation This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

Bryan Caplan is a Professor of Economics at George Mason University, blogger for Econ-log, and author of The Case Against Education: Why the Education System Is a Waste of Time and Money. He joins Charlie on the show today for a vibrant discussion of why education is a waste of time and money, and why we still buy it. They also talk about the degree to which non-rational motivations can affect larger, macro trends. Both Bryan and Charlie are passionate about education, especially alternative education, and this conversation provides some insight into some different ways to achieve educational goals.Key Takeaways:[2:05] – If you’re looking for a solution for managing your inbox, try SaneBox! See link below to start your free trial and get a $25 credit.[3:20] – Bryan’s book is called The Case Against Education: Why the Education System is a Waste of Time and Money. While Bryan is a successful professor and the system has been good to him, he feels the system is dysfunctional, and while other aspects of social systems are changing, education seems to be stagnant.[5:30] – The heart of Bryan’s argument is that most of what kids are taught in school is not relevant in the real world. Another puzzle is why do employers reward employees for having passed all those subjects that they aren’t going to use? The signaling model of education says that employers might reward you for your education because you learn skills in school and they’re paying for your skills, and the other reason is that even if you study something that’s not relevant to your job, it’s still impressive and would hopefully translate to whatever job you’re doing.[7:05] – Historically, education was focused on training people to become a minister, lawyer, or doctor. As time went on, they added more subjects like natural science and computer science, but the traditions of that model still linger in the system today. While there is purity in the humanities model in terms of becoming a worldly person, you didn’t necessarily go to school to create a livelihood.[10:15] – The type of education that Bryan is against is formal schooling and things that relate to it. The classroom environment doesn’t work for everyone.[13:38] – The primary value of education is not the human capital argument, but rather that it signals something in the broader marketplace. The human capital theory states that when you go to school and learn skills, you emerge a better worker, which is valuable to companies. The other argument is for signaling, which shows that when someone applies themselves to something and they can do it well, it convinces employers that you are worth hiring and training. Bryan shares the analogy of the two ways to raise the value of a diamond to help demonstrate this difference.[15:50] – Are the signals that people receive accurate? If they weren’t, Bryan imagines someone would have already come up with a different way to select employees that would earn them a lot of money. Since that is not happening, the signaling is probably rooted in truth.[19:50] – Bryan discusses the topic of “de-hiring,” which is the process of companies getting rid of a worker without firing, but by helping them get another job. This follows the thesis of Bryan’s book because the trend seems to be that companies don’t automatically get rid of incompetent employees, and that a false signal could end up working out in the end. In the labor market, an employer might care more about the credential than the knowledge. If enough people are hiring based on credentials, it creates a macro trend.[22:15] – Employers might want people with fancy degrees to impress customers. This is another form of signaling. Signaling is branch of optics, and there are different ways the optics can create perceived value that continues an action that makes no sense. Bryan and Charlie discuss some of the trends in hiring, and how employers tend to look for people who have done something or have some formal education, but how this could overlook people who would perform really well who don’t have the same credentials.[28:25] – The reasons we have for our actions are not always the reasons we think they should be, and it’s important to consider to what degree those reasons dictate broad trends in society. For example, in the military you have to have a college degree to be a commissioned officer, but it doesn’t matter what type of degree. The same thing happens in PhD programs. This perpetuates people going through higher education for the degree rather than the knowledge that will be applied.[34:00] – Bryan has policy perspectives and proposals for the case against education. The first is that the government needs to cut sharply from education funding to end the rut. There has been enormous credential inflation over the past few decades, but most of what’s happened is that jobs that in the past would have required a high school degree are now requiring a lot more education to get it, though not necessarily to do it. The main question for Bryan is how can we cut credential inflation? Bryan explains his logic that reducing education will reduce inflation, and this can be achieved by cutting funding. This would be across a large scale, not just for a select group of individuals.[39:00] – Another thing frequently found in the marketplace is that when there are a fewer number of people with degrees, then we value them even more (supply and demand). Bryan has crunched these numbers, and he explains how even in this scenario there will be a much larger number of people doing better than they are in the current system. This would allow people to get a good job out of high school.[43:10] – Vocational education is another avenue that could help create the type of education environment Bryan is talking about. There is research that states that vocational education is selfishly better for students. In addition, students who don’t like the formal school environment, vocation keeps them involved in learning something rather than the alternatives. In our society, there’s a bit of a stigma around vocational school, but it can be a better path for some students. The default option of going to college is not working for a whole lot of people.[50:55] - The main point is that students are getting the kind of education that will suit them. There are many different types of students, and the current default path of graduating high school and going straight into college doesn’t work for everyone. There are kids who will flourish in that system if that’s really what they want to do, but it’s also important to consider what kind of skills students will learn by taking time to study a trade before deciding if university education is what they want. Additionally, Bryan and Charlie discuss how a lot of what students are learning in standard curriculum doesn’t carry on into their adult lives.[54:30] - Bryan talks about the biggest rebuttal he’s heard for his argument, and how he incorporates it into his philosophy. The rebuttal places merit on the predictability of national prosperity based on national test scores, and would reorient the education system toward the direction of boosting math and science scores. Bryan doesn’t believe people would actually work to reform the system, and also feels like most typical jobs don’t use a lot of math and science, and the test scores are actually reflective of the effects of intelligence. Intelligence is much harder to change than math and science scores, but also more widely applied in different ways than specific to math and science.[57:45] - A better focus of education might be critical thinking, reasoning, and decision making, because those things apply to every industry. School psychology argues that these topics, especially critical thinking, are difficult to teach, and particularly difficult to get students to apply outside of the classroom. This applies to other subjects of study too - outside of the context in which there’s a performance aspect, many people don’t use the skills they’ve learned.[1:03:00] - Bryan’s invitation/ challenge for listeners is to go through the list of courses from your last year of formal education and compare them to what you’re doing today and see how often you see a connection between what you learned and what you use today.Additional Links:Productive FlourishingProductive Flourishing Podcast Episode 169: Penelope Trunk: Asperger's, Creativity and the Education SystemProductive Flourishing Podcast Episode 153: Michelle Jones and Austin Goldberg: Wayfinding Academy 101Bryan CaplanThe Case Against Education: Why The Education System is a Waste of Time and MoneySaneBox This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

Kathleen Kelly Janus is a social entrepreneur, author, and lecturer at Stanford University. She recently released her book called Social Startup Success. She joins Charlie today to discuss how nonprofits maximize their impact by adopting some of the same strategies that modern, for-profit organizations are using. They also touch on how the non-profit sector unintentionally reinforces the same inequities they’re attempting to solve.Key Takeaways:[1:30] – SaneBox is a great resource for managing your email inbox. See link below for more information![3:15] – Kathleen’s origin story: Kathleen grew up in a small town in California where she spent weekends volunteering and giving back to her community. Her parents instilled this virtue in her, but also spent time talking about the importance of the organizations caring for vulnerable communities, and whether they had the resources necessary to do so. Kathleen experienced this firsthand when she started her own nonprofit, Spark, but they capped out at $500,000 in revenue and they couldn’t get the capital that they needed to grow.[5:00] – Kathleen started to research the top-performer organizations in the country to understand why some organizations succeed and manage to scale, and others don’t. This research culminated in her book, Social Startup Success. It highlights five basic strategies that successful organizations seemed to implement to get to their level of success.[6:00] – Scale can mean different things to different people. For Kathleen in her book, scale is about getting to a level of sustainability, so organizations aren’t struggling to survive but are able to focus on their social impact. Charlie talks about the tension between scaling and sustainability: sometimes strategies used to scale can keep you from being sustainable, and on the other hand, some versions of sustainability prevent you from being able to scale.[8:00] – One of the speed bumps people often encounter in starting and running nonprofits is the previously mentioned $500,000 revenue block, but there are others that come up as well. The five strategies Kathleen outlines in her book are the ones that target what organizations get the most tripped-up over. The strategies are innovation, impact, funding experimentation and fundraising, leading collaboratively, and storytelling.[10:15] – In the business world, sometimes when an organization reaches a speed bump, they might have to change the nature of their organization in order to scale and grow. Nonprofits often experience these fundraising speed bumps, and different organizations will have to treat them differently depending on their scale. Kathleen talks about some of the steps to overcoming speed bumps as revenue increases. There is testing, or figuring out which revenue stream works best for your organization. As revenue increases, it’s about perfecting that strategy for scale. It’s important to be intentional about your strategy for scaling given the stage of your business so you choose a strategy that will allow you to continue great work without wasted time, effort, or heart (especially for nonprofits).[15:10] – While strategies to grow can be learned, time is the enemy when it comes to some of the social issues many nonprofits are trying to solve. It is Kathleen’s hope that through Social Startup Success and capacity building, they can give organizations the tools they need to grow their business efficiently and effectively. Many nonprofits focus on serving the next generation (not necessarily adult customers), and it requires us to have a longer view, while at the same time taking action now.[17:35] – A big part of Kathleen’s thesis is that many nonprofits are operating in an old-fashioned way, and they could modernize to maximize their impact. What Kathleen has noticed is that many organizations have been doing good work in the community for years, but have grown accustomed to that work and don’t think about gaining a fresh perspective. There have been improvements in technology that allow organizations to measure their impact better. Donors have also changed, and often want to do more than just cut a check. For nonprofits, it’s important to learn how to leverage your donors and get them more involved in the causes.[20:20] – Charlie talks about how in the business sector, organizations must adapt or they die. A similar trend happens in the non-profit sector, but market forces don’t exist in the same way. There are a lot of factors that keep nonprofits afloat that maybe aren’t having the impact that they should have. If you are involved in a nonprofit, it’s important to really think about whether you’re having an impact or not. If not, maybe think about course correction that can get you back on track with the work you really want to be doing.[21:05] – There seems to be a lack of willingness to be transparent in the non-profit sector, and this often prevents organizations from finding ways to improve. Funders don’t require this transparency, and then there is no incentive for organizations to be honest about what’s working and what’s not. To create better systems, you have to have that honesty. A level of transparency is also important for your donors as well, so they know where their money is going.[24:25] – If you’re listening to this episode and aren’t involved in a non-profit organization, but still want to support a social cause you care about, there are other ways to get involved! There are so many channels for people to help make a difference these days. Many companies are integrating social change work and volunteer work into their everyday work.[25:40] - You can also give back time and skills - it doesn’t always have to be monetary. Kathleen shares several examples of how you can donate professional skills. Think about what you’re passionate about and what you care about, and find organizations that are going to be the most effective. You might be spread thin across several organizations, but focusing on fewer at a deeper level might make more of a difference.[29:30] - There are some organizations that aren’t getting funded, as well as organizations that are not involved in the non-profit sector that should be. Oftentimes we’re funding people from privileged backgrounds to start organizations at the expense of community-based leaders who are already connected to the communities they’re serving, but may not have the language to talk about their work or the resources. Ideally there would be philanthropic systems for giving out capital in ways that don’t just reward who has the most networks or biggest business plan, but who is making the most impact on an effective level. Racial and gender bias comes into play here too, with white-founded and male-founded organizations typically receiving more funding.[34:00] - There should be a diversity of decision-making in the non-profit sector, and organizations also must be reflective of the communities they’re serving, or they’re not going to be effective. There are two levels of effectiveness: operationally effective and culturally effective. Philanthropic systems don’t always understand the extent to which they are reinforcing the very issues they’re trying to solve, and that’s where there needs to be more awareness.[35:35] - Is there a difference between being involved and becoming an activist? We all have something to give in this world, and we all have the capacity to be activists for causes that we care about. If we can all think about how we can do our part to be activists, we can begin to solve problems.[37:20] - There have been some different trends since the 60’s and 70’s, and one of the big ones is that social issues have been assigned to the government to fix. If you’re thinking about becoming an activist, think about how you can get involved in your community to solve your community’s problems. It doesn’t necessarily have to be on a larger scale to make a difference.[38:55] - One of the things that surprised Kathleen most in her research is that from her interviews, she began to realize that we all have the ability to learn how to do our work better. It comes down to the fundamental strategies that all organizations have to implement in order to be more effective. Passion and charisma can only get you so far. It’s the people who get in there and do the work that are most effective. Collective leadership is also a key to being more effective.[41:36] - Now that she’s out on the book trail, it’s been interesting for Kathleen to see what resonates with other people. The issue of bias seems to put people on the edge of their chairs.[42:55] - Kathleen’s challenge for listeners is to get involved in a cause that you care about. It doesn’t matter what the cause is - if you get involved in something, you can have an impact in your community and together we can make the world a better place.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingKathleen JanusSocial Startup Success, by Kathleen JanusSaneBoxSparkThe Deepest Well, by Nadine Burke HarrisGood to Great, by Jim Collins This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

Bryan Falchuk is the author of Do a Day, a book that shows readers how to learn to make each day contribute to the life they want to live. He joins Charlie on the show today to talk about how his transformation - from being obese and depressed, to a marathon-running, top executive - gave him the insights to write Do a Day. They also dive into how changing externally doesn’t always lead to internal change, as well as how grit and motivation are more important when it comes to personal transformation.Key Takeaways:[2:00] - We expect when we go through change that it’s just going to be one thing that we do, but when we come out on the other side we find that it was the conjoining of many things that led to radical change. Even if there is one thing you want to change, you have to be willing to make a lifestyle change if that’s going to stick.[3:05] - Bryan’s backstory: Bryan was overweight as a kid - his parents got divorced when he was young, which triggered anxiety and depression. In an effort to gain some control, he turned to food. He lost weight in his teen years, but didn’t address the underlying issues. He had put on some more weight, experienced change in his work environment, and the issues surrounding his parents’ divorce rose again. At the same time, his wife had a chronic illness that seemed would take her life (she is okay now), but having to watch his son watch his mom was a transformational moment where Bryan decided he didn’t want his son to have to go through that twice.[6:00] - This moment was a moment of clarity for Bryan as he began to reflect on the kind of father he wanted to be and the kind of person he wanted to be. He was physically and professionally miserable because he felt like he was failing himself. In moments of clarity like this, you can either notice it and go back to the way you’ve been doing things, or you can grab hold of it and make a change. He chose to grab it and immediately began making changes.[7:42] - There were three key things he wanted to change: The first was his weight; he had a goal he wanted to get to by the end of the year. The second was his job situation. And the last thing was dealing with the emotional baggage he’d been carrying around from his childhood.[9:25] - Sometimes, we need a breakdown before we can have a breakthrough. Most of us aren’t willing to get introspective and get to the root of what’s really going on because it’s scary and we may feel comfortable in the mindlessness of our current situation, even if it’s not conducive to who you want to be in the world. As you embark on your transformation, surround yourself with people who are going to hold you accountable to the vision you have for yourself.[13:15] - Of the three things Bryan set out to change, the one that had the biggest effect was the physical fitness. It’s been a huge avenue for growth - not only does he feel better physically, but he feels better about the role model he provides for his son, and he does his best thinking when he’s running. It also made the other aspects of his transformation easier.[17:40] - Identity shifts can take a while for us to claim the new person. Bryan talks about his struggle with losing the identity of “the fat kid” and how he came to recognize and appreciate the new direction. It took him a while to get over that, and he sometimes still gets self-conscious and has some triggers that he’s learned how to overcome. Triggers are common for people who have gone through a big transformation - it’s all part of the process. But knowing how to recognize them and work on them is an important aspect of the transformation as well.[25:40] - Bryan’s philosophy of “Do a Day” is about execution. There are three building blocks to the philosophy - firm foundation, structure, and strong stable ground. The strong stable ground is self-love, which is believing that you’re capable and believing that you deserve.[27:10] - One exercise Bryan uses is called “stop the but.” As a society, we’re pretty self deprecating, and we don’t take compliments very well. The exercise focuses on saying “thank you” and receive the complement rather than adding what you think is wrong. If you struggle with accepting the compliment you can also ask what someone liked about what they’re complimenting and allow yourself to receive that.[29:00] - The foundation is about your motivation. What is your reason and your purpose for transformation? Your foundation is the underlying drive that will push you to achieve what you really want to achieve. The question Bryan asks in his book is ‘no matter what else is happening, what will you always care about?’[30:50] - The house, or structure, are your goals. Your goal should be something that’s really going to push you, but should still be realistic.[31:50] - The execution comes with Do a Day. For ‘Day’, it’s not about specifically a day, but it’s about the present moment. It’s about a mindful approach that focuses on doing what we need to do in the present moment to pursue our goals, rather than focusing on what we didn’t do yesterday or what we still need to do tomorrow.[34:00] - One question that comes up a lot of times in transformation by action is “how much a day is enough?” Both too little and too much can become non-motivating or unrealistic. Dissecting your ultimate goals into bite-size pieces can help you work through this. Bryan shares the example of his marathon training plan. If you structure a plan out, it can help guide you to know what success looks like for that day. There will be times when you underperform or over-perform. It’s important to keep these times in perspective and not let them affect what you do in the next present moment.[41:20] - One of the reasons Bryan emphasizes the word “do” is because it encourages us to take action, rather than “just getting through it,” which isn’t necessarily the best way to live your life. To Bryan, “Do a day” is different from “one day at a time” because it focuses on the action piece. He would rather take action and change the game than just endure his life.[44:15] - Are there situations that the do a day philosophy is not good for? Bryan thinks that it is pretty universal, but sometimes finds people who don’t apply it. He acknowledges that since he hasn’t experienced everything, he doesn’t know how it might apply in all situations. He has had readers speak out to him about some specific situations where they have found strength in the do a day philosophy.[47:40] - A year after its release, Bryan is re-publishing his book. There a few things that have changed over the course of the year that he wants to address. One is the parenting chapter, and also adding in a section on self-love. Originally, he wasn’t conscious of the gap, but now it’s become obvious how important that is to include.[53:10] - Which “do” is most challenging for Bryan these days? Bryan is involved in a lot - his day job, being a father and a husband, writing a book - and he’s worried he might be burning too hard. But he’s enjoying the impact he’s having on people’s lives right now.[58:15] - Bryan’s challenge for listeners is to “stop the but.” Look at your words and thoughts and stop allowing for the possibility that you can be better and deserve to be better, and just let it be. Find people who will hold you accountable in this.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingDo a Day: How to Live A Better Life, by Bryan FalchukThe Dip, by Seth GodinLeave a Review This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

On today’s episode, Angela returns to the show to talk with Charlie about boundaries. They did a joint presentation at the Think Better, Live Better conference, which was an interesting process for them. Since not all of their listeners were at the conference, they decided to bring a taste of their presentation to the podcast and share some of the concepts and lessons learned.Key Takeaways:[4:05] - Angela and Charlie decided that they wanted to talk about boundaries because they’ve been getting asked similar questions over the course of the decade they’ve been doing this work. The five keys that sort of govern their whole philosophy on becoming your best self in the world are: intentions, awareness, boundaries, courage, and discipline. They’re all interrelated, but boundaries come up frequently when we need to give ourselves space from things that aren’t helpful to us, and create space for the things that are helpful to our growth.[8:03] - Most clients don’t realize that they need help with boundaries - sometimes what they need is externally driven, but what needs to be addressed are internal boundaries that will allow the other things to happen. Charlie gives the metaphor of the car and the driver; the trick is to know whether the problem lies with the car (ourselves), or the driver (our circumstances). Most often, it’s the driver.[11:00] - The importance of boundaries is that drawing boundaries really allow us to get what we want and what we need in life. Putting the right things in place for the right reasons will allow us to get to the best results and best life.[11:35] - One of the things that has come up for Angela is the fear that setting boundaries might push away the people we love, or that it might hurt somebody that we care about. The opposite usually ends up being true, and you’re enhancing the relationship with that person and making it stronger.[13:15] - What’s the difference between positive and negative boundaries? Negative boundaries are the boundaries by which you push something away or put a wall up between yourself and other things. Positive boundaries create space around you for things that you want. It’s important to be intentional about what you’re creating space for, rather than just pushing people and things away. Boundaries don’t always have to do with relationships; it is also creating boundaries between ourselves and the noise that that may not be supporting us. Creating positive boundaries can be harder because we have to identify the things that are worth fighting for, and that in turn is a declaration that we ourselves are important, and our self-worth is a priority.[16:30] - This self-worth piece is a very important aspect of setting boundaries. In order to set those boundaries, we have to be able to say this is what I’m worth, and what I want and need matters. These are things we often don’t tell ourselves, but creating boundaries can encourage more positive self-talk and self-worth. This is a practice and requires us to keep pushing to get what we need and want.[20:20] - There seemed to be a very gendered dynamic in the people that came to talk with Charlie and Angela after their presentation at the conference. Women may struggle more with creating some of these positive boundaries because of some of the socialization in the world today. Angela was able to help people find a language that worked for them to help describe their boundaries to the people in their lives.[21:25] - As we set boundaries, it sets a good example and allows us to be role models for our friends, and people in our communities and workplaces. When people see you setting boundaries, they’re drawn to that. They see you getting what you want and need, and making time for what’s important to you, and it gives them permission to do the same thing.[24:15] - One of the struggles people have with boundaries is that it’s all very general. There are several different dimensions of your life that we can think about where we might want to implement boundaries. The key thing is wherever you are over-committed or depleted, you have a boundary issue. Be intentional about creating boundaries around those areas and think about what you’re trying to change in those areas for your boundaries to have real grip.[27:10] - When setting boundaries, it’s important to think about ourselves as a whole. It’s important to think about all the dimensions - professional, personal, play - especially the ones where we don’t have good balance in our lives at the moment. Charlie and Angela talk about the importance of the “play” dimension; if it brings you joy and happiness, make it a priority![32:35] - Angela encourages the idea of working on one boundary at a time. As you’re thinking about boundaries for yourself and what that looks like, start with one thing or one area where things are out of balance. Set a boundary and work on it diligently rather than trying to set several at a time and getting burnt out.[35:45] - Getting people on board with your boundaries is important from an accountability and support system perspective. We want to have important conversations with the people who matter most and invite them to support us in setting up new boundaries for ourselves. Charlie discusses some ways you can approach these conversations in a professional context, to help improve your work-life balance.[42:10] - While today’s conversation is over, there is more to be said for our work on boundaries and how they can help us be our best selves in the world. Look out for a follow up post on this, and if you have any questions, email Charlie or Angela using the contact information below. The invitation/challenge for this episode is to start thinking about some of the dimensions mentioned and where you want to make a change in your life, and what type of boundary would support you in making that change.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingBrene Brown - The Work of the PeopleStart Finishing Your Projects Coursecharlie@productiveflourishing.comangela@productiveflourishing.comLeave a Review This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

Sharon Rowe is the founder of EcoBags, and an award-winning entrepreneur. She joins Charlie today to talk about what she’s learned in steering her almost 30 year career as an entrepreneur. They also discuss what’s different about today’s business landscape, the relationship between your why and your financial metrics, and how important going is for getting your business going.Key Takeaways:[2:00] - Sharon started EcoBags in 1989 because she saw a problem and felt that need to take care of it. At the time, she was a new mom and also working as an actress in New York City. She wanted to have an impact, and felt like reducing use of plastic bags would make an impact on the planet and starting her own business would allow her to have a flexible schedule and be in control of what she was promoting.[3:45] - She had a limited business background, but her training as an actress helped prepare her for the possibility of failure, and gave her resilience to bounce back. All of this background helped to prepare her for what she calls “The Big Idea.”[5:30] - EcoBags are sturdy, reusable bags that you can use again and again for groceries, gym clothes, etc. The idea is not to create any waste. Back when it started in 1989, it was an innovation in the United States. Many countries in Europe have taxes against plastic bags that have dramatically reduced use.[8:05] - While she didn’t know how big it would get, Sharon knew it was something that had to happen, and knew that the idea would catch. But for Sharon, it’s not the business of reusable bags, it’s about the business of a cultural shift. Her top priorities were the cultural shift and having time to spend with her family.[10:50] - For creative people and entrepreneurs, it’s easy to think about the product as a transactional type of thing. But every product is an embedded message or embedded social cue. Think about what you’re promoting and what cultural values you’re instilling.[11:40] - EcoBags uses materials that are sustainably sourced and responsibly made. Sharon talks about how they are encouraged when other people copy this idea, even when it creates other competition, because overall the impact is a positive one in the right direction for the environment.[13:30] - Business is a currency for your ideas. For creative people, it’s also your income. You have to protect your ideas and the integrity of your product. Engagement then becomes a big part of conducting business; as entrepreneurs we want to work together to address the issues of the world through our ideas (Sharon’s friend calls this “co-opetition”). If you’re giving, that’s when you’ll get.[16:00] - Co-opetition and networking is super good business. When you celebrate other people, they are happy to celebrate you too. The more you get out into your community and begin making connections, you’ll find that people are really interesting in their business and in who they are. You never know where these connections are going to lead. Keep showing up, even if it’s uncomfortable.[20:55] - You have to tell a story, and any kind of story stimulates curiosity. If you stimulate curiosity, you never know what kind of endorsements you might happen upon. If you show up to give, not to get, that’s when you get more in return.[23:00] - What are the three major differences in starting and being in business now versus 30 years ago when EcoBags started? 1. It’s easier and less expensive to get going now because of the internet and all the tools that are there. 2. It is more challenging now to have your idea heard, and to find the right communities you need to speak to. 3. Today, you need to slow down and take stock of what you need to move forward focusing on your big “Why.” You really need to hook into this “Why” - why are you doing this, why does it matter to you, and how are you going to execute it?[26:45] - The connection between the “Why” and your business metrics is that our culture requires us to support ourselves. How we choose to do this is a personal choice guided by structures that dictate a lot of the “how.” You get to pick and choose your life if you keep the “why” active by working with your forecast to build the road you want to be on. It’s the intentionality that’s tied to your “why,” how you want to live your “why,” and how that supports your “how.”[31:30] - Charlie talks about the methodology behind Mr. Money Mustache, and about the importance of prioritizing. Being intentional about the choices you have to make will allow you to make the choices you want to make.[34:00] - Many creative people feel that financial metrics and your vision and missions are at odds with each other. This isn’t true! You can use your financial metrics to set boundaries and figure out how you can open up your ideas to share with others and still maintain your vision and priorities.[37:30] - Since starting the business, one of the toughest decisions Sharon’s had to make is hiring a CEO, and eventually firing them. The recession came right after they had a huge growth spurt, not only in profit and revenue, but also in their employee workforce. As the recession started to affect the people they did business with, things started to fall apart a bit and Sharon had to decide to bring someone else on boardm, and that person ended up getting them back on solid ground. In the long run, it didn’t work out because Sharon was having to do more to support him than it was worth financially, and that was another tough decision she had to make to let him go.[42:25] - There have also been opportunities Sharon knew she should’ve taken, but didn’t. Part of this was understanding the expectations of your workforce (your employees working consistent hours and being compensated accordingly), and how that fits in with the expansion and contraction of business. During the recession, she realized she needed to trim faster and make adjustments to fit into what was going on around their business as well.[47:15] - Businesses need to be stronger on process now than they used to; you can choose to operate lean in the beginning, or you can wait to run lean until you’re forced to. Running lean by choice from the beginning can prevent having to let people go in times of recession. For EcoBags, they were affected by many of the businesses they serve also facing the effects of the recession.[49:32] - One of the most unanticipated challenges that Sharon is currently facing is growing the business. They have some of the same customers they’ve had for 30 years, as well as new customers coming in every day. But she is finding that in business today, you have to get someone’s attention, be put into their workflow, and then you have to service them. At this point, it is incumbent on you to keep that relationship going. Finding and maintaining the new relationships is the tough part.[54:35] - In an effort to dive into your “why” and execute your “how” into something sustainable that supports your life, Sharon’s invitation for listeners is to read her new book (link below) and share it with others. As members of the creative community, work to make this community more visible, because that’s where the ideas come from.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingEcoBagsSharon RoweThe Magic of Tiny Business, by Sharon RoweMr. Money MustacheLeave a Review This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe

Tama Kieves is the best-selling author of four books, with her latest being Thriving Through Uncertainty: Moving Beyond Fear of the Unknown and Making Change Work for You. She joins Charlie on the show today to talk about the mindset and practice shifts that we need to embrace to not let fear of uncertainty keep us from moving forward to the life that awaits us. The conversation is full of creative paradoxes, such as how showing up sometimes means not doing your work, how undoing is the doing that most needs to be done, and how we have to find the courage to be inspired while inspiration gives us courage.Key Takeaways:[1:37] - So many creative people don’t realize that they get stuck and stopped by their fear of uncertainty. When we’re uncertain, we might choose from our weaknesses or listen to a voice other than our own, rather than drawing on our strengths and our genius.[2:33] - Tama knew she wanted to write ever since she was young. Her family upbringing didn’t necessarily encourage this path, and she ended up going to law school at Harvard and was on a partnership track in a major law firm, but it felt meaningless. A friend encouraged her to think about how successful she could be doing something she loved, and that’s how she got started down the path of authorship.[4:17] - Her latest book was inspired by people who are living their dreams, and she kept seeing that people didn’t know how to handle uncertainty. We often play smaller or choose less than we deserve. Tama noticed these things in herself as well, and realized that life is all about uncertainty - especially if we’re growing or shifting. Her goal of the book is to help people thrive right now rather than when that client signs on, or that next check comes in.[7:15] - So many times people get disappointed, and think that that moment of disappointment is going to be the rest of their lives. To live an inspired life is to choose to begin again in this moment and be original rather than choose based on your past, but listen to what your instinct and intuition is saying right now.[8:05] - Tama faced some of these uncertainties while she was writing this book. When these things came up, she stopped writing and stopped caring about writing and let the negative story dominate her thinking. When she started writing again anyway, all of sudden she remembered who she was and what she was here for and her strength was renewed.[11:10] - What are some of the common stories that come up about uncertainty? It’s not always uncertainty that’s really bothering us, it’s the certainty of what we’re telling ourselves - we’re too old, we don’t have the education, we don’t have the technical skills, etc. We don’t realize these are stories, but rather relate to them as fact. There is a moment when we choose which story we are going to tell ourselves. Often times, the negative stories may seem practical or logical, but if they don’t make us feel powerful or excited, they are not in our best interest. There is already a deeper story inside all of us and it’s really about listening to it.[14:40] - We seem to have a negative bias - when we’re looking at the same bit of data, we more often choose the negative story when there’s equal evidence. We are looking to prove our beliefs true, and we’re not consciously and deliberately choosing to tell ourselves different stories, then we are unconsciously always proving the limited story.[16:30] - We can’t plan an inspired life. It is an instinctive path, not linear. We are creating future possibilities for ourselves, and sometimes we’re creating something we can’t see yet. Tama tells the story of writing her first book and how after she took the chance and self-published the book, someone found it and got it to a big publisher that bought the book exactly the way it was. If she had done it the conventional way, it wouldn’t have turned out the same way.[21:10] - We won’t know what we love or don’t love, what has energy or doesn’t have energy, until we try and explore things. The joy of living an inspired life is that we discover and uncover it as we go. Dare to try something, and pay attention to how it makes you feel.[22:55] - We owe it to ourselves to make braver choices. When we’re scared and uncertain, we start thinking weaker and make more limited choices. Hold big and brave goals for yourself, but don’t judge yourself if you’re scared, or if it’s awkward, or if it’s hard.[25:15] - What is the connection between inspiration and courage? Firstly, you have to have courage to choose the inspiration, especially when everything is weighing on you not to. When you take an inspired action, it often ignites something else in you, and give you fierceness and courage you didn’t even know you had. It is a paradox of having courage first to take the action, and then being encouraged by having made the choice. Charlie talks about the Shambhala tradition of Wind Horse, and how it relates to this paradox.[29:50] - In her course about living in love instead of fear, Tama talks about how it’s not what we think we can do, but rather what we’re willing to do. We can choose from our smaller selves, or we can choose from our grander, higher selves.[32:00] - Sometimes courage doesn’t always come from love; sometimes it comes from desperation. When you’re not doing your calling, there will be pain. This can serve as a reminder that you’re here for more.[34:30] - In this society, there is so much pressure about success and failure. Showing up is sometimes the only success there is. We are constantly redefining what success and failure is for ourselves. Tama’s definition of success is knowing that she is doing the right thing with her time on Earth.[37:00] - Another paradox is that sometimes showing up doesn’t mean showing up for your work, but rather showing up for yourself. One thing that Tama talks about in her book is how we have to be “unfaithful, sporadic, and unusually true” to ourselves. It’s not so much about what we’re doing, but about the beliefs we have to undo. Part of this undoing is being kind to ourselves, relaxing, and resting. It is okay to break your vows to yourself, but always dare to come back again.[40:45] - There is another paradox here. There are times and places to be disciplined about your practices, but when you’re on a growth edge, that’s the time to be sporadic and unfaithful because you’re trying to change something about yourself. These paradoxes give us permission to experiment and explore our own rhythm rather than impose it.[41:45] - What Tama is trying to cultivate in her books and through her work, is a deeper listening for when the path feels right and when it doesn’t. Deeper listening to what you need in that moment creates a deeper faith and trust in yourself as well. Charlie shares his experience with trying to reach his goal of 1000 words on his book, and facing the choice moment of whether to continue or stop and get recharged.[44:55] - For Tama, it’s more important that we’re cultivating a relationship with ourselves than that we’re meeting a certain goal. Many times we’re forcing a goal and overdoing it, and it’s no longer fun. Take tiny steps, and that will help you move.[48:15] - Tama has a technique called “inspired self-dialogues.” This is a journaling technique where she journals her fears and then speaks back in a loving voice. That voice will always see it differently.[50:30] - Another one of her other techniques and strategies in the book is the “win list.” In this technique, you write down 5 or 10 wins that you have each day. Wins can be both internal and external. Writing down the wins starts training your brain to look for those things.[52:40] - Another technique to get in touch with creative ideas is “free writing.” This is when you keep your journaling going or keep typing on your laptop and don’t edit it - it’s like a stream of consciousness. You can’t listen to self-judgment and inspiration at the same time. Free writing bypasses that because you’re not allowing yourself time to judge.[53:35] - One of the biggest sources of uncertainty Tama is currently facing is her goal to always pursue her business on an inspired path. It is a constant struggle of being in times where it’s working, and times of going back into her fear.[58:15] - Tama’s “dare” for listeners is to do the most loving thing you could possibly do for yourself. Listen to what you think is a frivolous voice inside yourself, and know that it’s not frivolous, but it’s imperative.Mentioned in This Episode:Productive FlourishingTama KievesBooks by Tama KievesThriving Through Uncertainty, by Tama KievesLeave a Review This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.productiveflourishing.com/subscribe