The Evolving Man Podcast

One of my favorite mentors, Phil Teertha Mistlberger joins me on the show to illuminate and discuss "the dark side of the masculine".  In a time where Toxic Masculinity is a common concept - and the outright rejection of that term being equally as prevalent - we need to have a productive conversation that helps us find our way to the other side.  Phil guides us in the direction of seeing the polarities of life and how we can use them to become fully integrated human beings. For men who want to learn about how to engage shadow work, this episode is for you. On this episode, we cover: Toxic Masculinity Wounding - the unmentored young man The story of Saturn - the tyranical male Why men fear success Unhealthy competition between men: How boys are often raised competing with each other for approval and attention The father vacuum - when a boy doesn't have enough contact with the father A man's resistance to power and success How unhealed relationships with power figures in your life holds you back Why men get stuck when they are full of tallent How to focus your attention to to counteract 21st Century Distracted Man Syndrome The extremes of competitiveness: extreme competitiveness, and denying it alltogether Shadow aspects VS the dark masculine forces Vanity and Pride as the two pillars of the ego Donald Trump - a poster boy for the dark father guru archetype; intollerance of criticism How your ego can co-opt your "personal growth" work, and use it against the world The key to discovering your shadow without being fooled by it --> Being witnessed by other men.  How to break through your ego in a support group by seeking to give rather than receive.  Why you need other people to do good shadow work 2 functions of a men's group: support, and leadership training Revealing the King inside you - learning what you have to give Why it is easier to receive feedback from a peer group than it is to receive feedback from your romantic partner.  Why some guys trigger you more than others  How to do shadow work on your own - be accountable for the people and the patterns that are in your life. The contrasts are there because you crave them. Befriending your shadow The dark side of the hero archetype Why engage in your inner work if your romantic partner isn't interested in it? Teertha's Books  The Inner Light A Rude Awakening - Perils, pitfalls, and hard truths of the spiritual path.  The Three Dangerous Magi The Way of the Conscious Warrior, out early 2019 Teertha's Website - www.ptmistlberger.com Samurai Brotherhood - samuraibrotherhood.com    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark Groves is a relationship and communication coach. We've previously discussed How To Be A Man , and wanted to dive in to the concept of "Holding Space". This is often regarded as something that is done in romantic relationships, where one partner sits with another while they are having an emotional process.We outline the long definition of holding space, and the steps you can take to learn how to do it. On this episode we cover: Resistance to getting feedback from your partner. What is Holding Space: Presence, compassion, open-ness. Consent - the importance of acknowledging that both people are ready and willing. Boundaries - saying "no" when you're not able to hold space. Step 1 - check in with yourself, see if you're ready and able Men's ability to connect to their own emotions How to find out what you're not good at The best way to learn how to connect to your emotions The art of separating your feelings from your partner's Step 2 - Prepare your inner space and open your heart Heart opening meditation. Not that hard.  Self talk to help yourself be ready for space holding Bypassing and our tendency to look for shortcuts The quickest way through an emotion is to lean in to it. How to build trust: Rigorous honesty and personal boundaries.  Step 3 - Accept the role, or say “no” and set a boundary Step 4 - Hold it Step 5 - Validate, Reflect.  The results of successful space holding - closeness and ego dissolution How to find Mark:Instagram: @createtheloveWebsite: markgroves.tvConnor Beaton’s article on Holding SpaceSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dr. Joe Tafur has a unique story. While in medical school, in the midst of a low-point in his emotional life, he encountered the world of plant medicines through Peyote (and subsequently Ayahuasca) and found a whole other world-view of healing. After finishing medical school, he split his time between studying plant medicines in the jungle of Peru and practicing medicine in the United States. He is now a shaman, an author, and a doctor, sharing a unique view of healing that encompasses the physical along with the spiritual. Joe's book, The Fellowship Of The River tells Joe's story along with other stories of shamans clearing up conditions like Chrones, Diabetes, Psoriasis, Addiction, and Trauma with plant medicines. He eloquently describes the methods shaman's use, and what parts of the body are being affected. Healing occurs at the level of DNA and epigenetics. In this episode we discuss: Joe's book at its connection to The Cosmic Serpent, a book about healing at the level of one's DNA, and how Shaman's take their consciousness down to that level using Ayahuasca The link between emotional healing and physical healing Genes and the programming in them that interfaces with the environment, the epi-genome How environmental imprints can cause illness that looks "genetic" and permanent. Proof of how the epigenome can store and carry memories from one generation to the next.  How trauma is stored in the body and needs to be released LOVE as the most powerful force for healing and health. The number 1 factor in healing through therapy Phenomenon: Mystical experiences healing physical addictions --> The spiritual solution The Psycho-Neuro-Endocrine-Immunologic network - the mind-body network that connects the mental, emotional, and spiritual. The role of spiritual healing in modern health care  Joe's project to track epigenetic shifts in the physiology of participants in the MAPS trials that are happening with PTSD and MDMA healing.  The Modern Spirit Project - modernspirit.org Joe's Website - drjoetafur.comFind Joe's book here on AmazonJoe will be speaking at the Psychedelic Psychotherapy Forum in Victoria in October 2018See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

"How do I help my sister/uncle/friend with his/her addiction? How can I support them without 'enabling' them?"I get this question all the time, and the answer isn't simple, so I did a solocast to give this subject the long answer it deserves. This podcast is for those of you who have a loved-one or a close friend who is struggling with an addiction. On this episode I cover: How to assess how ready someone is to change their behavior Ways to support someone who isn't yet contemplating quitting How to support someone who is ready to quit and make a change The balance of maintaining relationship while having boundaries Addiction as a physical, emotional, and spiritual illness Treating addiction from a "holistic" perspective The power of environment and social group on an addict The power of "hitting bottom" and what it means and how it works Interventions and sharing honestly about how someone's behavior affects you Stacking factors in an intervention to create a breakthrough for an addict Ego and its relationship to addiction Group recovery and the power of recovering together The power of 12 step programs - Fellowship + Structured Spiritual Program Objections to the 12 step program and classic smoke-screens The core of recovery: Community that supports recovery + spiritual principles Healing trauma as a path to healing the addiction Ayahuasca, Psilocybin, Ibogane and other psychedelics for treating addiction and healing trauma.  "The Environmental Cure" and changing location to start over How to leverage your relationship with someone to help them in crucial moments Resources to explore: Dr. Gabor Mate's work Dr. McCauley's presentation as addiction as a dis-ease  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Mark Groves, The Human Connection Specialist, joins me for another conversation about masculinity, relationships, and healing our wounds as a group. Mark provides no BS relationship advice to men and women, drawing on his many years of experience and studies of relationships. He brings his blunt, funny, and outspoken style to our conversation.  On this episode, we discuss: Intro - Mark's Upcoming Podcast What "Be A Man" Means The old "masculinity". Time to redefine it. Childhood trauma, circumcision, and fighting for whats right "Men's Rights" - Why its not okay to speak about it The school system and why "all boys have ADD" The making of the "Nice Guy syndrome" How modern conflict-avoidant men end relationships The shaming of men, and how it wounds men further Shaming men for being sensitive How to build an emotionally cut-off man How not talking about sex makes our sex culture worse The "Me Too" movement and how it is a part of our healing Criticism and our critical culture Masculine and Feminine traits Toxic Masculinity and Toxic Femininity  Societal shadow issues Holding space at an individual level, and societal level Men - learning to express emotion Leaning in to The New Masculinity  The Masters Of The Universe Summit Mark's Instagram - @createtheloveMark's Website - markgroves.tvThe MOTU Website - motusummit.com  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Gerald Thomas is a researcher and policy maker at the British Colubia Ministry of Health. He is the director of alcohol, tobacco, cannabis and gambling policy for the region. Despite working on government policy, he is not an average government worker. He has sat in ceremony with Ayahuasca and was also the head of the first observational study on Ayahuasca in the country which had quantitative and qualitative elements.  Gerald has been on the forefront of some of the psychedelic medicine research over the past decade and has built his own relationship with the substances he studies. His heart centered approach coupled with his passion for science and discovery makes him a powerful agent for change in the way we view drugs and plant medicines. On this episode we cover: Cannabis policy and standards in the province The Ayahuasca research that changed the landscape How trauma is stuck in the body Why treating PTSD is so difficult How psychedelics like Ayahuasca can heal trauma Trust - as the key to facilitating healing Being comfortable with discomfort - another key to healing trauma & addictions Plant consciousness and Plant Spirits Psychedelic Assisted Therapy Healing trauma through feeling what hasn't been felt Soul Loss - losing a piece of yourself during a traumatic event Soul Retrieval - getting those pieces back Presence - Learning to stay present so healing can occur Tapping in to Flow as a guide in life Natural ways to connect to your source - Kundalini yoga, meditation, and breath work. Triggers of trauma and how to work with them The Crisis of the Heart we are facing now, and the call to healing The Fixing Culture - the tendency to commodify medicines Professional Bio: Gerald Thomas is a Collaborating Scientist with the Centre for Addictions Research of BC, an Adjunct Professor in the Department of Psychology at University of British Columbia, and owner/operator of Okanagan Research Consultants. He received his Ph.D. in political science from Colorado State University in 1998 and has worked in the area of Canadian addiction policy since 2004. He served on the secretariat of the working group that created Canada’s first National Alcohol Strategy in 2007, worked on several national and provincial level projects related to substance use and addiction​, and has published numerous peer-reviewed papers with leading researchers in the field. He lives with his family near Qualicum Beach, British Columbia, where he enjoys a variety of outdoor pursuits including mountain biking, hiking, and windsurfing.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Geoff MacKenzie is a dedicated Ashtanga Yoga instructor at MysoreBc. On this episode, we discuss the importance of having a disciplined practice in your life, a practice that challenges your mind, and your body. We also talk about the top 3 things that have shaped Geoff's life. Geoff is on a mission to raise money for a good cause - stopping human trafficking. He is riding his motorcyle accross Canada raising money for an organization that rescues women from traficking every day. A 20$ donation from a large number of people can make a huge difference. Help Geoff make $108,000! Fund Jeff's Journey Here Jeff's webpage - www.mysorebc.com Odanadi - The anti tracking activists in India at the heart of this movement.  www.yogastopstraffick.orgSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sheleana Aiyana, a writer and group facilitator, discusses the importance of 'Deep Work' and its impact on personal growth and relationships. They explore trauma, shadow aspects, and the power of conscious relationships. They also touch on topics like healing through expression, the Nice Guy phenomenon, and dealing with triggers in relationships. Throughout the conversation, they emphasize the significance of support, community, and rewriting personal narratives for positive change.

Dr. Aaron VanGaver is a Naturopathic Doctor working with addicted people in downtown Vancouver, BC. He treats many of the people that we would classify as "classic addicts", but Aaron himself is also a living breathing example that addiction affects every population, even doctors. Aaron has his own story of losing connection with himself, finding drugs as a solution, and then finding recovery and reconnection through a series of divine events. He now works exclusively with addicts in early recovery. He is a doctor working with the body, but also a counsellor, and a coach. Aaron uses IV drips, vitamins, and amino acids to help the detoxification process. This can also can treat the post-acute-withdrawal symptoms, depression, and anhedonia that can accompany early recovery. The biggest gift Aaron carries is the counselling he offers around shame, trauma, self-esteem, and most importantly, working with people on identifying their life's purpose. This unconventional approach gives his clients something to live for.  "I truly believe everyone has got a gift to give the world." -Dr. VanGaver Aaron is on a mission to change how people talk about and understand addiction. He wants to reduce the stigma about addiction in our culture.  In this episode we cover: Aaron's story of addiction and recovery HALT protocol - Hungry Angry Lonely Tired IV Vitamin Therapy Advanced IV Protocols for Addiction Recovery "The Shadow" and how it controls us How long it takes a brain to heal from Crystal Meth addiction Using psychedelics to addiction The Magic Bullet for treating addiction The importance of human connection in recovery - Rat Park How to deal with a family member who is addicted Check out Dr. VanGaver's website See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sam Platts is a certified Sex Addiction Therapist practicing in Alberta, Canada. He knows the world of addiction inside and out. In this episode he candidly shares his story of growing up in a troubled home, and finding addictive patterns early in his life. On his journey, he ended up in some very scary places. Sam has emerged on the other side of his struggles and is now giving back to people in need. He has a deep knowledge of sex addiction and the therapeutic techniques for recovery. He shared with me some of the keys to recovery from sex addiction and other addictions. Keys to recovery: 1. COME CLEAN - You have to bust yourself. Come out of the shadows, and in to the light. This is a necessary part of the process. You cannot recover in a vacuum.  2. ABSTINENCE - Learn what abstinence means for you and define it clearly.  3. COMMUNITY - Find one. Sharing in the story reduces the shame. When you connect with others, you gain the power to overcome your blocks. 12 step support groups are great for this.Get a counsellor, mentor, or sponsor.  4. MENTORSHIP Get a counsellor, mentor, or sponsor.  5. INTIMACY - Allow the above to change you as you regain the ability to be intimate in your life.  You can reach Sam at info@figure8counsellingservices.ca Resources for sex addicts: www.sexhelp.comPatrick Carnes' book:  Facing The ShadowSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.