The Evolving Man Podcast

Ryan Pope is a chiropractor, men’s coach, and founder of Powerhouse Mind Body Chiro located on the Gold Coast in Australia. His latest venture Becoming The Mountain is focussed on mentoring men and preparing them physically, mentally, and emotionally for the rite of passage into fatherhood. Ryan is also co-facilitator at Alchemy, a multi-modality healing and transformational retreat for men and women. I asked Ryan to share his wisdom with me to help me prepare for my own initiation into fatherhood. In this episode we discuss: Preparation for fatherhood. Holistic healing and vitalism. Ryan’s journey to help men prepare for the birthing process. What kind of man do you want to be throughout the process of fatherhood? Normalizing mayhem in our body and mind during big transitions. Grief upon entering into parenthood. Embracing acceptance vs. embody resistance. The importance of having good men supporting you. Unplanned pregnancies.  Outcome oriented thinking vs. process focused thinking. The infinite intelligence of our bodies and The Universe. Challenging and navigating the “what if’s.” Birthing processes within the healthcare system vs. holistically.  Trauma during birth.  Creating intentions around a plan.  Divine femininity and surrendering.  Looking at the patterns that are mirrored from our parents.  Safety and trust in partnership during pregnancy.  Stepping up for your partner as a practice for fatherhood.  Cleaning out what’s taking up space in life to create more room for what you want. Navigating the unknowns of fatherhood.  The depth of presence and awareness. Trusting the inner wisdom of your partner.  The masculine structure around the birthing process. Toning.  Setting boundaries around family and friends. The importance of postpartum regeneration practices.  Links from this episode: Ryan’s Instagram  Ryan’s Chiropractor Website The Business of Being Born  The First Forty Days book Evolving Man Episode with Jessica Austin Evolving Man Episode with John Wineland See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Amir Khalighi is the founder and lead facilitator for The Embodied Masculine, a training ground for men that empowers men to connect to their bodies, their purpose, and to nature. Amir runs immersion retreats and weekly embodiment circles that integrate his 5 pillars to facilitate powerful transformations in his students. Amir joined me to talk about the impacts of men doing their work to know their inner masculine and feminine energies, and the inner strength and power that comes as a result of nurturing a personal spiritual practice.In this episode we dive into: Amir’s definition of men’s work. Exploring the self through embodiment, somatic, and shamanic work.  Our wounds as our teachers.  Paradigm shifts.  Father wounds. Stepping into service and giving back to the world.  The importance and significance of “present” male figures in a community.  Self-regulation for boys Integrating shadow aspects of self.  Archetypal work and energies.  Interconnectedness and living in fulfillment.  Nurturing the evolution and empowerment of The Masculine.  Shifting a culture through generations. The Conscious King. How men can practice being with Feminine power.  How do men do external and internal work with their own Feminine essence?  Feminine embodiment practices in men’s work. Ideologies and energetics in mixed martial arts.  Structured Masculine practices.  The 5 instruments in Amir’s work: attention, breath, sound, movement, visualization.  Creating space and emptiness in oneself.   Reframing the concept of the unknown. The human birthright of divine connection.  What work should be done alone vs. with community? Recovery and addiction work ideology in men’s work.  Plant medicine.  Stepping away from AA (12 steps) and listening to the inner call for deeper growth.  Amir’s men’s work offerings.  Links from this episode: Amir’s Website Amir’s Instagram Amir’s Vimeo Book - Iron John by Robert Bly Book - King, Warrior, Magician, Lover by Douglas Gillette and Robert L. Moore Evolving Man Episode with John Wineland - as referenced in this episode Evolving Man Episode with Christine Hassler - as referenced in this episode See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nick Solaczek, an IMAGO relationship coach who teaches couples about the hidden realities of romantic relating. He helps couples understand one another, improve their communication, and thrive in their relationships. Nick and I have been sitting in men's circles, going to workshops, and learning about conscious relationship work for a few years now, and we drop in on this episode to share with men about the successes we have found. In this episode we discuss: The Conscious Relationship Council - a men’s group focussed on learning about romantic relationships. How men can make a long-term relationship happen.  Relationship as an enlightening experience.  The difference between what the current generation wants in relationship, versus the generation that came before us. Conflict as a growth opportunity to deepen intimacy in relationships.  What does masculine leadership look like? Relationship as a mirror for childhood experiences.  Familiar energy signatures trigger us into unconscious responses. Attachment theory.  Normalizing the conscious relationship conversation.  The paradoxes of romantic relationships.  Navigating feelings of shame.  Imago relationship theory and dialogue techniques.  The 4 stages of relationship.  AFGO: Another Fucking Growth Opportunity.  Discovering your personal relationship issue and how it ties back to your childhood.   What do recurring conflicts and frustrations in relationship represent?  Minimizer vs. maximizer in conflict.  Your relationships becoming your nightmare.  Showing up authentically with boundaries and consent.  Discovering your “relationship wants” and identifying how to lean into them.  The value of men’s groups for inner-work and navigating romantic relationships. Links from this episode: The Conscious Relationship Council  Nick’s Website Nick’s Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Christine Hassler is a Master coach, facilitator and speaker and the host of top-rated podcast “Over it and On With It” where she coaches people live on the show. She is also a best-selling author of three books, most recently Expectation Hangover: Free Yourself From Your Past, Change your Present and Get What you Really Want. Christine co-founder of Elementum Coaching Institute, a premier coaching certification program. Preston Smiles and Stef Sifandos (recent guests on this show) are also Master coaches for Elementum. Christine joined me on the show to talk about men’s evolution and leadership, conscious parenting, and romantic relationships. In this episode we discuss: How Christine created her dream life and attracted her dream partner.  Trusting divine timing and following your own timeline. Embodying personal development work. What success can really mean. Leveraging disappointment as a point to transform.  Effective coaching practices.  Understanding our past to move toward the future. Time traveling to our childhood triggers. Time vs. love healing all wounds. Conscious trauma work. MDMA Therapy = Love therapy. Instant gratification.  What does the evolution of conscious men look like? The dance of masculine and feminine energy. Individual vs. community work. Revering the feminine. The duality of attachment styles. Self-regulation and self-soothing in conflict.  Leadership in romantic relationship.  3 stages of consciousness. For expecting fathers: sacrifice and devotion during and after pregnancy.  The 3 most important traits for a father: presence, consistency, and emotional availability.  Links from this episode: Elementum Coaching Institute Christine’s Website Christine’s Podcast Christine’s Instagram Christine’s Facebook Christine’s Twitter Christine’s YouTube Evolving Man Episode with Stef Sifandos See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

John Wineland is a leader in men’s embodiment, leadership, and the energetics of romantic relationship. He is the author of the forthcoming book From The Core: A New Masculine Paradigm For Leading With Love, Living Your Truth, & Healing The World.John joined me to talk about relationships, men’s work, and the transformational power of men’s groups.  In this episode we discuss: The Masculine and Feminine core.  Men’s Work and the value of men’s groups. What does masculine leadership look like in a time of shared leadership between men and women? The importance of men cultivating sensitivity.  John’s mission in the world and how he got into men’s work.  Consciousness, embodiment, and spiritual intimacy. Turning your wound into a gift. Father wounds.  Integrating David Deida’s work. Stillness vs. Energy. Staying grounded, aware, and in equanimity.  Wim Hof breathwork.  Nervous system training. How modern men can lead in a relationship with a powerful partner.  Understanding your relationship to your breath. Infinite practices for increasing sensitivity.  Your heart is a sonar device. Taking a numbness inventory.  Dopamine addictions. Understanding feminine and masculine essences in ourselves and in relationship. The power of picturing your dream life. No More Mr. Nice Guy - Robert Glover.  Two kinds of romantic relationship: Power grid vs. Battery.  The Depth Council - John’s Men’s Group. Links Order John’s Book John’s Website John’s Instagram John’s YouTube channel The Conscious Relationship Council Creating Conscious Love - Course for Couples  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Sheleana Aiyana is the founder of Rising Woman, a growing community of more than 3 million readers. She is also my wife and life partner. Sheleana joins me on this episode to talk about the keys to successful romantic relationships and her recently released book Becoming The One: Heal Your Past, Transform Your Relationship Patterns, and Come Home to Yourself. On this episode we dig into some of the key concepts from the book, and we talk about a few true stories from the book that involve our relationship and give some greater context and perspective on what we both learned. If you are interested in the keys to attracting or keeping a romantic partner, or if you're a Rising Woman fan wanting an inside look into our relationship, this episode is for you. In this episode we dive into: The deeper meaning within Sheleana’s new book, “Becoming the One.”  What “being your own healer” means. Spiritual myth busting.  Self-abandonment.  Seeking external soothing - a conditioned pattern  Attracting inauthentic romantic matches.  Abandonment wounds and chasing unavailable love.  The foundation to healthy relationships: our relationship to self.  Finding healing through trusting yourself, your body, and reconnecting to nature.  Experiencing pleasure in life while being anchored in our truth.  Shifting from a breakdown to a breakthrough.   Authentic alignment. Questioning how you show up in your relationships? Scarcity of love vs. abundance of love as a mindset. Soulmates and soul families. Wounded inner child archetypes creating codependency.  The strength of community and friendship in supporting your relationship.  Twin flames vs. free will. External blame and taking back your power. How to get an unconscious partner to start doing the work with you. Parental vs. divine partner perspectives. Normalizing the desire for change. Patterns of withholding. Respecting your partner’s differences as assets. Attunement, sensitivity, and nervous system awareness. Specific dynamics and patterns in Sheleana and Ben’s relationship.  Seeing your partner’s intentions. Humility vs. defensiveness. Overcoming self-doubt. The Father wound. The value for men in reading “Becoming the One”. Links from this episode  Rising Woman Website The “Becoming the One” course Rising Woman Instagram Sheleana’s Instagram Sheleana’s YouTube Creating Conscious Love - A Course For Couples Becoming the One Course The Conscious Relationship Council - For Men The Nespresso Story: Chapter 8 - Understanding Projections in “Becoming the One” See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Alex Olshonsky, aka “Olo,” is a writer and the founder of Deep Fix - a newsletter, somatic coaching practice, and fast-growing digital community. He is also the co-founder of Natura Care Programs, an interdisciplinary entheogenic program combating addiction. Alex is a former Silicon Valley executive at companies like Twitter, Salesforce, Copper, Slack, and VentureBeat. He joined me to share his story of his battle with addiction and his recovery. We also explored “Second Stage of Recovery” and the nuance of plant medicines, Ayahuasca, and the intentional use of psychedelics for healing.  In this episode we discuss:  Alex’s upbringing in a culture of wealth and consumerist values Imposter syndrome The seeds of addiction Living a life for others, vs for yourself. The absence of mentorship for men Alex’s early work in finance which led to the tech start-up world Severe poly-substance addiction in Silicon Valley. “High-Functioning Addiction” Family intervention for addiction. Alex’s “bottom” which led him to recovery The value of AA and 12 step meetings  The limitations of the 12 step model and the disease concept of addiction Buddhism, Yoga, and plant medicines “Second Stage Recovery” Ayahuasca as a tool for healing and transformation The proper use of psychedelic therapy. The importance of leveraging counseling, groups, and ceremony when engaging plant medicines. Bringing about Natura - a holistic plant medicine recovery program for people suffering from addiction. Links from this episode: Deep Fix - Alex’s website Alex’s Twitter  Alex’s Instagram Natura Care Programs  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Raphael Rowe is an investigative reporter, a BBC correspondent, and the host of Netflix’s “Inside The World’s Toughest Prisons”. At age 20, Raphael was falsely convicted of murder and given a life sentence in prison. He spent 12 years campaigning and fighting for his exoneration, and was released at age 32.He joined me to tell his story, and talk about racial profiling, police corruption, and what works (and doesn’t work) in the prison systems we use to reform criminals. In this episode we dive into: Caring for our criminals, mentally ill, and addicted populations. How Raphael became involved in prison work.  How Raphael got convicted for crimes he did not commit. The racism embedded in policing and prison systems.  Feeding societies’ collective shadows.  The good guy vs. bad guy mentality.  Understanding nuance and power.  How Raphael fought his own prison sentence.  The power of the media.  Covid restrictions vs. the constriction of prison. Raphael’s journey to hosting Inside the World’s Toughest Prisons.  What life really is like in prison.  How society views the prison system. Prison reform.  The importance of giving voices to prisoners.  Harm reduction and meeting basic human needs in prisons. Life-changing therapeutic experiences in prison. Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Humanizing criminals. The cathartic power of connection and ritual.  What elements don’t work in the prison system.  Addressing needs of individuals with a humanistic approach.  Changing narratives and mindsets of the public to ignite change.  Supportive prison staff and educational resources in prison. Masculine wounds on personal and societal levels.  Facing resistance in rehabilitation.  The message behind the Raphael Rowe Foundation.  Wounds becoming gifts.  Raphael’s Links: Website Facebook YouTube Notorious by Raphael Rowe Second Chance Podcast Raphael Rowe Foundation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Preston Smiles exudes passion and commitment to healing. He is a Personal Freedom Coach,  a multi-millionaire, a conscious businessman, father, and author of Love Louder: 33 Ways to Amplify Your Life.Preston joined me on the show to talk about his love of coaching, and what he has learned about building successful coaches. In this episode we talk about these points: Life doesn’t come to you, it comes from you. Preston’s Kaboom Coaching and Elementum Coaching Institute.  Being a magnetic person. 4 aspects of what it means to be human.  Traditional schooling vs. lived experiences.  Trauma and shame.  The secret to working in business with your wife.  Leveling up with children.  Exploring inner needs and desires.  The journey of unlearning personal patterns.  How Preston gets support now that he is successful. What men’s work is really about.  The consciousness of abundance.  The inner laws of success. The responsibility of coaches.  Money as energy.  Changing limiting mindsets.  Why the world needs more coaches. The limitations of therapy.  Where men should go when they’re having trouble with romance.  “Proximity is power with and within”  How to manage social media when you have a large audience.   Links from this episode: Preston’s Website Preston’s Instagram Preston’s YouTube  Elementum Coaching Institute Website  The Conscious Relationship Council See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Jayson Gaddis is an author, podcaster, speaker, and “personal trainer for relationships”. He is a global leader on interpersonal conflict and connection. He joins me on the show to discuss the keys to success in relationship, and his book “Getting To Zero - How To Work Through Conflict In Your High Stakes Relationships”. In this episode we discuss: How to be better in relationships. The Relationship School. The one common denominator in relationship struggles – ourselves. Avoidance tendencies. How we learn to “do conflict”. Conflict as an inevitable part of a relationship. Conflict as a mirror. Honest and authentic interactions.   How to manage and navigate conflict. The “why” of relationships. Active listening skill development. The higher purpose of relationships. Relational blueprints. Attachment/Conflict Styles: Seeker and Avoider. Polarity and romance. Shadow Vows. How to handle your triggers and your partner’s triggers? Attuning to loved one’s nervous systems. What’s at the core of getting back to zero? Understanding the other person’s experience (LUFU). 10 Roadblocks to Reconnection. Where else can these tools be applied in your life? Links from this Episode  The Relationship School Website The Relationship School Instagram Jayson’s Instagram Getting to Zero Website  Jayson’s Facebook Jayson’s Twitter Jayson’s YouTube The Conscious Relationship Council See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.