Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

Happy Holidays!! This is a beautiful and sweet time of year, which can bring forward so many feelings and experiences. Some of you may be absolutely blissful – you love this season and are in a place of peace. Others of you may be really struggling this time of year.  Perhaps you feel alone. Or family dynamics are challenging. And some may be feeling a mix of both. You have moments of peace and joy and other moments of loneliness, anxiety or even sadness. Wherever you are is okay.  Please remove the expectation that your holidays are supposed to be any certain way – otherwise you will just keep waking up with an expectation hangover! My intention in sharing this meditation with you today is to remind you about what is most important not only this time of year but in every moment of every day, which is LOVE.

The holidays can be stressful. The good news is, you get to decide how much stress you are willing to take this holiday season. Oftentimes we have stress because we allow ourselves to have it. We say yes to too many things, and we hold an image of perfection, and it is the perfect, perfect, perfect BS, that stresses us out. Remember there really is no stress, only stressful thoughts. This can also be a very lonely time of year. Especially if you are not in a romantic relationship, or recently went through a breakup. There is a blessing to be found in a lonely holiday. It can be a time to turn within and nourish your relationship with spirit. We can practice self-love through the act of being kind, gentle, and accepting with ourselves. Then from a place of self-acceptance, you can set strong intentions, and take action to bring more love into your life. In today’s incredibly moving coaching session, Daniel would like to know how to deal with anxiety when he is away from home or in social situations. He is working towards moving past the abuse he experienced in his youth, but he needs practical advice from someone who acknowledges him from a place of love. Our call was less about the why’s of Daniel’s anxieties, and more about coaching him into the experience of connecting with his younger self. It’s his younger self that is being triggered by events, not his grown-up self. All kinds of abuse are painful. But, you do not have to be sentenced to a lifetime of suffering, because you are not a victim. I encourage you to break the cycle of abuse by healing your own. It is time to do healing work with the younger parts of yourself, so you can mentally process what happened, and tend to the part of you that went through the experience. Healing is the application of love to the places inside that hurt. If you are feeling guilt and shame about being abusive to others, your healing involves applying love to the places inside that hurt. Reach out and get support from real people. Therapists and coaches can be extremely helpful in working with you, through dealing with your abuse.   Would you like a behind-the-scenes look into all of my #lifehacks and to join my Inner Circle? The Inner Circle is a membership community where you get access to one-on-one coaching calls, my guided meditations and visualizations, and lifestyle practices. Finally, a place to meet like-minded people!   Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Is anxiety something you struggle with, especially in social situations? ● Have you mentally processed your past, but can’t seem to shake some of the feelings that went with it? ● Do you have a history of physical, mental, or emotional abuse? ● Do you tend to minimize things from your past, because they weren’t as bad as things that happened to other people?   Daniel's Question: Daniel would like Christine to help him through his anxiety in social situations, and to dismantle his protective shell.   Daniel's Key Insights and Ahas: ● He feels physical discomfort from his anxiety. ● He is minimizing his abuse. ● He can’t seem to shift his guilt and shame. ● He needs to tend to his younger self. ● He should talk to himself from a place of love.   How to Get Over It and On With It: ● He should practice the “empty chair” process, and tell himself it’s over. ● He should reassure his younger self through a handwritten a letter. ● He needs to be a loving, protective father to his younger self. ● He should visualize a safe place — his grandma’s house for example. ● He should start a meditation process.   Assignments and Takeaways: ● Work through the “Empty Chair” process, which is included in my Mastery course. ● Create a dialogue conversation with your younger self, through journaling. ● Practice visualization. ● Bring your mind back to the present moment, with meditation.   Sponsor: Daily Energy - Get an exclusive 30% off Daily Energy Superfood Solution.   Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover Christine Hassler Podcasts - Schedule a time for your personal session. Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com Assist@coachescorner.com - Send questions you would like addressed on a future episode of Coaches Corner.

“Agree to disagree.”  This is often what we attempt to do when someone else has an entirely different opinion.  But it’s not easy, especially when we feel incredibly passionate about something. And it’s also not always the best advice. So what do we do when we are upset about another’s opinion or viewpoint? This was the question I was challenged to answer for a group of High School students last weekend.  I share about our conversation and give you tips on how to deal with people you don’t agree with in this episode of Coaches Corner.

Confidence is not something you can develop just by sitting in your house, thinking about all the things you will do when you feel more confident. Confidence is developed by going out and doing those things. Just like we gain courage by feeling fear, and then taking action anyway. We begin to feel more confident, when we actually do things we feel insecure about. In today’s coaching session with Teisha, she would like to know how she can gain more confidence, and how she can truly believe she is a prize. We also discover why confidence has been a struggle for her up until now. She wasn’t ready to learn the lesson of confidence. Having an understanding of our past is so important to move us forward. During our session, Teisha acknowledged she is safe. That was her key elementary lesson. After recognizing it, her entire energy shifted. She was able to release the judgment of not feeling more confident. It’s hard to develop a new quality, when we are judging ourselves so harshly about not being good at it. Coaches, managers, parents, and teachers take note — I got super specific with Teisha about the action steps she was committing to. When walking someone through behavior changes, you want to help them with clear, measurable steps they feel truly committed to. Is avoiding short-term pain preventing you from long-term happiness and fulfillment? What feels worse — experiencing failure and/or rejection, or never stepping into your full potential? Failure is not bad. Failure is necessary if you want to learn, grow, change, and get the things you want from life. So is perceived rejection; if you spend your life avoiding nos, you will never get yeses. Would you like a behind the scenes look into all of my #lifehacks and to join my Inner Circle? The Inner Circle is a membership community where you get access to one-on-one coaching calls, my guided meditations and visualizations, and lifestyle practices. Also, I will be in Australia for a Business Training/Mastermind on personal and professional development. This training is perfect for you if you are a health coach, a life coach or entrepreneur.  You could benefit from a session if you are dealing with fear, are getting in your own way, or are ready to take your business to the next level. Send an email to Jill@Christinehassler.com ASAP, for more information.   Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Would you like to have more confidence? Do you spend more time thinking about the things you would like to do, than actually doing them? ● Are you terrified of rejection and failure? ● Did you grow up not feeling safe, loved, or seen? ● How are you at keeping your word with yourself? When you commit to something, do you actually do it?   Teisha's Question: Teisha is constantly doubting herself, and would like to know how she can get more self-confidence.   Teisha's Key Insights and Ahas: ● Her self-doubt serves her by protecting her from the pain of failure. ● She has a lot of ‘what if’ questions. ● She didn’t feel safe growing up, but has kept herself safe as an adult. ● She will take action and go to a meetup group event, apply for employment outside of her comfort zone, and join a yoga class. ● She wants to be part of a movement to change perceptions about women and work. ● She knows she is a prize and a great person with a good heart.   How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She should be curious about the people she encounters. ● She should be honest and vulnerable when she meets new people. ● She should give herself compliments and really mean them. ● She should ask herself if it serves her to believe the lies she told herself. ● She should give herself the spiritual and physical gift of yoga.   Assignments and Takeaways: ● Is there something you need to feel or experience, before stepping into confidence? Can you accept you are ready to move to the next lesson? Can you see you’ve done what you needed to do, and are ready for the next step? ● Write down a list of all the unique qualities and gifts that make you, you. ● Get out of your comfort zone. Do things you may not be good at, or that may be embarrassing. ● Commit to taking action steps to create the feeling and experience of confidence. Make the steps measurable, specific, and give yourself a timeline. ● Consider joining my Inner Circle, where developing confidence will be an upcoming project.   Sponsor: Audible - Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial. I’m reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck. Why not make this book your first download?   Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com

There are many common, limiting beliefs when it comes to love and romance. One belief is the success of a relationship is based on the time it lasts. So, if there is a breakup or divorce, the relationship was considered a failure. Or, if you love someone, you must love them unconditionally and stay with them, for better or for worse, no matter what. Another limiting belief is, the purpose of a romantic relationship is to find THE one who completes you. In today’s coaching session, we bust through the limiting beliefs to get down to love and truth. Today’s caller, Andrew, finds himself at a challenging crossroads  in his marriage. He would like to know how to be supportive to his wife after her recent cancer diagnosis without becoming a doormat. Andrew shared he is working towards a growth mindset, and up until now his wife has had more of a victim mindset. While I only got to hear one side, I didn’t hear any blame or resentment from Andrew as he shared his story, so I sense his description of the situation is fairly accurate. That is why I coached him to love his wife, to support her and to hold space for her, as she and the entire family process this diagnosis. And in time, have a heart-to-heart with her about how they plan to journey through this Expectation Hangover together. Diagnoses can be an opportunity for deep healing and transformation. Sometimes, what is for the highest good is not always the easiest or most obvious choice. I coached Andrew through the distinction of spiritual connection and spiritual bypass. It basically comes down to love and truth. Andrew loves his wife, but in truth, they may be growing in different directions. Does this mean the relationship should end? I don’t believe in shoulds. People in a relationship can be growing at different speeds, but still along the same path. Remember, spirituality is not tolerating people treating us the way they want to treat us. Love and truth go together. Self-honoring choices are often for the highest good of all, and that is the ultimate high road.  We can love, encourage, support, and be an example for people, but we can not save anyone else, that is up to them. Would you like a behind the scenes look into all of my #lifehacks and to join my Inner Circle? The Inner Circle is a membership community where you get access to coaching calls, my guided meditations and visualizations, and lifestyle tips which include beauty, health, and wellness. And, I will be in Sydney, Australia for another amazing Mastermind, possibly a training, and half- and full-day intensives. My visit will focus on the needs of small business owners or those of you transitioning into a new career. You could benefit from a session if you are dealing with fear, are getting in your own way or are ready to take your business to the next level. Send an email to Jill@Christinehassler.com ASAP for more information.   Consider/Ask Yourself: What soul lessons are you currently learning from your relationship or relationship status? Are you making your relationship with yourself or your higher power a priority? Are any of your relationships at a point where you are growing in a different direction from each other? Do you wonder if being there for someone else in a supportive way is putting your own needs at risk? What is the difference between having a spiritual orientation to your relationship, and doing a spiritual bypass and becoming a bit of a doormat?     Andrew's Question: Andrew’s relationship is experiencing trials and tribulations. He would like to know how to spiritually cope with his wife’s recent thyroid cancer diagnosis.   Andrew's Key Insights and Ahas: His wife’s hormones have been elevated due to a thyroid problem. He feels spirituality calling him. It’s not his responsibility to save his wife. He has recently started a spiritual practice. He doesn’t believe his wife is a willing participant in the relationship. His current lesson may not yet be resolved. It is now up to him to re-parent himself.   How to Get Over It and On With It: He should write his wife a letter to share what feels about her and how the diagnosis may be a wake up call to stay committed to working on their relationship. Also, let her know he can not do it alone. He should hug his wife every day. He needs to take 100% responsibility for his 50%.   Assignments and Takeaways: Look back at your romantic relationships to see what lessons you have learned. Write down how each partner has been a soul mate. Nurture a relationship with a higher power. Do something intentional and devotional every day for someone you care about. If there is a difficult conversation you need to have, write a letter and either read the letter to the person or give it to them.   Sponsor: Audible - Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial.   Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com An Uncommon Bond, by Jeff Brown

Anahita Joon Tehrani - is a twenty-year veteran in the field of personal development. Having lived through many incarnations including sacred Dancer, Yoga Teacher, Activist, Coach, Poet, Shamanic Style Priestess, & Spiritual Psychologist, Anahita now embraces being all things and not just one thing. Anahita is fiercely devoted to serving the awakening of the divine feminine and is an advocate for radical self responsibility as access to power and embodiment. As the co-founder of the movement- Force of Nature Women Anahita is passionately leading the way for a new brand of Feminine Leadership and sisterhood   www.anahitajoon.com

Today’s caller, Amanda, wants to know how to stop obsessing about calorie counting, her physical appearance, and working out. Like many of the sessions, you hear on this podcast, the focus of our conversation takes a different direction. Amanda acknowledges she felt controlled by her parents growing up. And, the biggest thing I taught Amanda is how we often pair certain behaviors with love. For example, we know our parents are supposed to love us, so the way they parent us is what we think is love. In Amanda’s case, it was being strict because she knew her parents loved her. So, she formed a correlation between being strict and controlling, with love. Her attempts to parent herself, care for herself, and love herself the way her parents did, are a big part of her food and calorie counting obsession. She believes that is how she keeps herself safe, much like her parents thought their strict parenting would keep her safe. It ends up as a fear-based version of safety, and it’s exhausting. Another thing at play was Amanda’s history of rebelling. When we have one extreme that feels limiting, we go to the opposite extreme in an attempt to free ourselves. Amanda felt controlled, so to move away from it, she was rebellious and acted out to get free of the feeling of being controlled. Coaches and Health Professionals — are you practicing what you preach?  Are you attempting to save yourself through serving others? You can share your story and help others, but make yourself your own best client. We can’t shift ourselves by saving other people. Remember, it’s important for you to show people they do have a wisdom voice inside, and a part of them that is connected to a pure, untainted heart.   Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Are you a bit of a control freak in your life? Are there areas you are obsessive or rigid? ● Do you have an inner rebel? Does part of you act out or engage in addictive behavior? ● Are you in a profession where you are not practicing what you are preaching? ● Is your self-talk negative, and you would like to shift it?   Amanda's Question: Amanda feels mentally exhausted. She wants to know how to trust herself and change her patterns.   Amanda's Key Insights and Ahas: ● Her obsessing is her attempt to care for herself. ● She’s afraid she doesn’t deserve a good relationship. ● She believes she is broken. ● She has constructed her persona, and doesn’t know who she is. ● She doesn’t know how to talk to herself. ● She is trying to use her clients to help herself. ● She should practice what she preaches.   How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She should talk to herself every day from a place of acceptance. ● She should parent herself in a way that is full of unconditional love and support. ● Attend Christine’s Spring Retreat to help process her old belief systems. ● She needs to be able to lose control and to know she will be ok. ● She needs to read Expectation Hangover. ● She needs to treat herself like she treats her clients.   Assignments and Takeaways: ● Identify and deconstruct certain behaviors that may be cross-wired with love. ● Consider getting a pet. A pet is a way to learn about unconditional love without getting into codependency. ● If you are in the pattern of control or rebellion, start a spiritual practice.   Sponsor: Audible - Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial.   Resources: Christine Hassler Expectation Hangover Women’s Spring Retreat - March 2017 Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com

Chris Seiter is a professional relationship consultant specializing in breakups. He teaches men and women how to get over a breakup or even how to get back with an ex if the situation calls for it. He has been featured in publications like YourTango, Elite Daily, She Knows, Readers Digest and LifeHack. You can learn more about him at www.exboyfriendrecovery.com and www.exgirlfriendrecovery.com.

Collectively we are all going through a rebalancing of masculine and feminine energies, not only in what it means to be a man or a woman, but what it means to be human. We are just moving into rebalancing this energy so masculine and feminine energies can be in flow together. While women struggle to find their place in the masculine energy, men struggle to fit into more feminine things, such as being vulnerable or pursuing more creative endeavors that may feel less manly. This is not a time to be discouraged. We are all longing for belonging and connection. This episode is about questioning the old paradigms and rules. Today’s caller, Jake, thinks he is stuck, but from my point of view he is at a crossroads. Will he continue to let old programming and belief systems drive him, or will he make a commitment to move past the fear of old paradigms, and step into his full potential? During the call, I didn’t want to take Jake down the road of investigating his past, because he had already spent too much time analyzing the past and worrying about the future. Jake said he had an easy-going upbringing without a lot of drama or trauma. Often, feeling that degree of comfort as a child makes it harder to take risks as an adult, because we don’t have enough experiential evidence to recover from failure, risks, and things that scare us. We have to stop asking ourselves why, why, why. We don’t have to self-analyze ourselves to death. We need to be aware of the patterns and self-limiting beliefs, so we can shift them. We all need to step up into our full potential, and not allow outdated paradigms hold us back. Men, it is ok to be vulnerable, to talk about your doubts, and to admit to confusion about who you are, and how to find your purpose.   Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Are you a man, or with a man, who is questioning his career path or purpose? ● Is fear something that is stopping you? ● Do you relate to sabotaging yourself?   Jake 's Question: Jake feels drawn toward another career change. He wants to know how to get out of his own head to move forward.   Jake 's Key Insights and Aha’s: ● He is sabotaging himself. ● He has competing intentions. ● He has a propensity to not follow through. ● He battles with fear and low self-worth. ● He has time management issues. ● He has created motion toward what he wants by putting himself out there. ● He is afraid he won’t live up to his full potential.   How to Get Over It and On With It: ● He should invest in a coach. ● He should read The Way of the Superior Man, by David Deida, and other personal development books. ● He should work on shifting his belief system and get clear about what his vision is. ● Over the next 40 days, he should do 10 things that get him out of his comfort zone. ● He should make a schedule for himself and stick to it.   Assignments and Takeaways: ● Go out and engage in behavior which pulls you out of your comfort zone, to develop trust in yourself. ● Commit to rewiring your brain. Visit NeuroGym to learn more. ● Stop obsessing about what you think is a liability. ● Show up fully for yourself, be your own word. Make commitments and don’t break them. If you do break them, re-negotiate and start again.   Sponsor: Audible - Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial.   Resources: Christine Hassler - Book a session to be on the show! Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com NeuroGym

“A core principle of my own life, and upon which this company was founded, is that one should leave everything and everyone better than you found them.” Jordan Harbinger has always had an affinity for social influence, interpersonal dynamics, and social engineering, helping private companies test the security of their communications systems and working with law enforcement agencies before he was even old enough to drive. Forbes named him one of the 50 best relationship-builders anywhere and Inc. Magazine calls him “the Charlie Rose of Podcasting.” Jordan has spent several years abroad in Europe and the developing world, including South America, Eastern Europe, and the Middle East, and speaks five languages. He has also worked for various governments and NGOs overseas, traveled through war zones, and been kidnapped — twice.  The only reason he’s still alive and kicking is because of his ability to talk his way into (and out of) just about any type of situation. Here at The Art of Charm, Jordan shares that experience, and the system borne as a result, with students and clients. Find Jordan at: Twitter Facebook YouTube Subscribe to The Art of Charm podcast in iTunes here.