Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

This episode is about fulfillment and what to do when we start to feel restless, bored, or lose our passion for something. Today’s caller, Corey, is feeling unfulfilled regarding his job, but many of you may be feeling unfulfilled in your romantic relationship or friendships. Corey thought the solution to his lack of fulfillment was changing his job, but he didn’t know what to do instead. A lack of fulfillment often comes with a lack of clarity. Corey will gain clarity and feel fully, authentically self-expressed, the more he takes risks and listens to his heart. We think that changing the external situation of finding a new job, or finding someone new to be with, is the answer -- that is not often the solution. It could perpetuate the problem. So, what are you truly longing for? Tap into the longing, and instead of thinking you need to change your external circumstances, think about how you can give yourself what you are longing for, now. How can you take action, and create behaviors that support you?  Before you quit your job, or end a relationship, get honest with yourself about what might be there for you to learn, and how you might be creating your own discontent. Often, we feel an inner call to reach out to someone, or to share something, and we ignore it. Please don’t ignore it, because you never know what will happen. The only way you can get a no for sure, is if you never ask or never reach out. The only way you are ever going to fail, is if you never try. Regret is far more painful than risk. So, take that risk. Reach out to that person. Speak up. Do that thing your intuition has been nudging you to do. You never know how it will impact the person on the other end. Don’t allow your self-doubt, or fear of another person’s reaction, to stop you from listening to your heart. Let your intuition be louder than your inner critic.   Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Is there an area of your life in which you feel unfulfilled? Are you fantasizing about leaving your current job or relationship? ● Do you relate to being a “yes man,” or a “yes woman”? Are you afraid to say no and stand up for yourself? ● Do you long to feel safe, validated, and accepted?   Corey's Question: Corey is considering leaving his current job but is trying to figure out what is next for him.   Corey's Key Insights and Aha’s: ● He feels burnt out and unfulfilled in his current position. ● He felt he was always loved conditionally. ● He searches for external validation. ● He has no idea what is next for him. ● He comes up with excuses to keep himself safe. ● He doesn’t feel authentically self-expressed. ● He realizes he has built a box around himself.   How to Get Over It and On With It: ● He should take steps to change his behavior and take more risks. ● Transform himself in his current position, so he can move through the reactive energy. ● He should establish a better relationship with himself. ● He should listen to his heart, and act on his intuition. ● He should celebrate who he is, and receive the compliments given to him. ● He should carry a picture of his younger self, and when he is self-defeating he should look at his picture.   Assignments and Takeaways: ● If you feel unfulfilled how can you take responsibility, and change on the inside, instead of making an external change? ● What did you crave when you were little that you didn’t get, that you need to give yourself now? ● How can your current soul family support you in making changes? ● Take a deep breath and breathe into the truth of who you are. Then, set the intention to be more authentically self-expressed. ● Speak kindly to yourself.   Sponsor: Audible - Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial.   Resources: Christine Hassler - Book a session to be on the show! Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com

I have heard from so many listeners about how to deal with the Expectation Hangover they are experiencing regarding the presidential election in the states.  This is a special edition of Coaches Corner where I share a few thoughts about this time and encourage you to choose love not fear.  I also lead a guided meditation. I am reminded (and comforted) by the fact that sometimes a massive expectation hangover is needed to create massive change. This is a time where those of us who continue to choose love instead of fear are needed even more.

When we are so paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes or failing, we don’t develop grit. Grit is what gives us confidence. If we don’t have to figure things out on our own we find ourselves paralyzed when making choices as we get older. When parents place too many expectations on their children, their children may grow into adults that don’t know what they truly want. If you are a millennial, take the pressure off of yourself to make the right choice and allow yourself to make a mistake. Failure is how you learn. If you are the boss, manager or parent of a millennial, stop making all of their decisions for them. This episode will be useful for ANYONE at any age. Today’s caller, Lorena, is having a highly-charged emotional reaction to the circumstances in her life. The pressure of living up to parental expectations is clouding her ability to decide what she truly wants.   ● If you are a millennial and you are having difficulty with your parents, remember you are the child. It is not your responsibility to live up to their expectations. ● If you are the parent of a millennial, it’s time to let them go so they can be their own person. Let them make their own mistakes. Stop telling them who they are so they can discover it for themselves. ● If you relate to having a high-standard of achievement, don’t let achievement to become your identity. Don’t let your self-worth be hooked to your achievements.   People get tripped up when they start with the end game instead of having a vision of how they would like to feel. Sometimes it is just about taking the first step. Consider where you may be holding yourself prisoner by letting someone else define you? How can you step into freedom by defining who you are and making your own choices? Coaches - Lorena’s belief system was triggering her emotional response. As you can tell by her response, it was greater than what was necessary for what was really going on. Remember, there is what happens, and then what we make it mean. When working with people you want to honor and hold space for their emotions, at the same time ask questions to shift belief systems. Your goal is not to coddle a person but to get them into their insight.   Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Do you ever feel upset over something you shouldn’t be so emotionally triggered by? ● Do you put a lot of pressure on yourself to live up to your own expectations or those of others? ● Have you received a lot of external validation for your achievements, and you constantly crave it? ● Do you feel that you owe someone something, or that you have something to prove?   Lorena's Question: Lorena has recently decided to start over and go back to school to give herself the opportunity to do something greater. But, she doesn’t know what she wants to do.   Lorena's Key Insights and Aha’s: ● She wants to have an end goal. ● She excelled at academics and was praised for it. ● She feels she doesn’t meet her parent’s expectations. ● She may be too emotionally upset to reach clarity. ● She doesn’t want to end up resenting her parents. ● She appreciates the difference in her life and her parent’s life. ● She should use the gifts her parents have given her.   How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She should realize she is the child and she doesn’t have to live her life according to their expectations. ● She should express her gratitude toward her parents, plus let them know she needs to make her own mistakes. ● She needs to stand in her own choices. ● She needs to let go of her guilt in order to be free to explore. ● She should write a letter to her parents and ask them to support her. ● She should listen to her inner voice.   Assignments and Takeaways: ● If you are having a difficult situation with someone, write a letter to them, even if it is emotionally charged. ● If you experience heightened emotions, take a deep breathe and ask yourself “What do I know to be true in this moment?” ● What belief systems are you wearing that just don’t fit anymore, or are they actually someone else’s beliefs?   Sponsor: Audible - Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial.   Resources: Christine Hassler - Book a session to be on the show! Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com 20 Something, 20 Everything, by Christine Hassler

This is an incredibly important conversation to listen to.  Alexandra and I talk about what is really underneath our food craving and how we can satisfy ourselves in a healthy and lasting way.   As the best-selling author of Women, Food & Desire, co-creator and co-star of the Oscar-nominated documentary Super Size Me, and highly-sought-after wellness expert for thousands, Alexandra Jamieson has made it her mission to empower women to create epic lives--by honoring their cravings and kicking body shame to the curb. She is the creator of The Crave Cast, a #1 rated podcast on iTunes where listeners from around the world are educated and captivated by thought-provoking interviews on wellness, cravings, sexuality, and more. Her work has been praised and adored by Oprah, The Today Show, Dr. Oz, Goop, Martha Stewart Living, the New York Times, CNN, Fox News, Elle, Marie Claire, USA Today, People, and the American Heart Association amongst many others. As a life-long learner, her wellness expertise has grown out of a decade of experience, as well as her education at the Natural Gourmet Institute, the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, and a certification in Applied Positive Psychology.

Are you hard on yourself, especially when it comes to your appearance? Do you do something, and then immediately wish you had done it differently? Many of us allow our inner critics to expend energy on low-frequency, physically exhausting, nasty, self-defeating self-talk. You may not realize it, but your self-talk influences the way other people receive you. If you are happy and filled with self-acceptance, you send out a good vibe. If you are negative or hard on yourself, you can suck the life right out of the room. Today’s caller, Gabby, is struggling with her weight and self-worth. She is clinging to the away-from-motivation of ‘if only I this,’ and ‘if only I that,’ instead of using toward-motivation, to get what she really wants. During the call, Gabby’s energy shifts as soon as we discuss creativity and connection. This toward-motivation practice allows her to focus her energy on what she wants to bring into her life, instead of what she wants to move away from. This practice is sustainable, because she is focusing her energy on a positive outcome instead of a negative one. Obsessing about appearance and weight is a waste of energy. If weight is something you struggle with read my book, Expectation Hangover, and: ● Find a new way to soothe yourself. ● Get a new way to feed your soul. ● Commit and take actions towards your commitments. ● Stop making your weight mean something negative about you. You are enough. You are lovable. You can change and heal anything in your life.   Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Are you making your self-worth and acceptance conditional? ● Do you struggle with body image issues? Has losing weight been a constant theme in your life? ● Does fear of rejection haunt you? Does it keep you from taking risks? ● What are the sneaky ways you're being selfish in your life?   Gabby's Question: Gabby has felt rejected a lot lately and would like to know how she can not worry so much about what others think.   Gabby's Key Insights and Aha’s: ● She feels undesirable and fears she is not good enough. ● She has body image issues. ● Food is her only source of pleasure. ● She is self-obsessed. ● She is jeopardizing her relationships by making everything about her. ● She may be attracting rejection into her life when she does, because of her self-rejection. ● She hasn’t asked God to love and support her in dealing with her issue.   How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She should stop waiting for external validation to find her confidence. ● She should realize she is not alone in how she feels. ● She should create a joy and creativity plan for herself. ● She should be present, curious, and connected in an authentic way. ● She could ask God for assistance in letting go of her obsession with her weight.   Assignments and Takeaways: ● If there is something you want to shift in your life, make a list of your ‘toward’ motivations. ● Make a list of what you are committed to, and get an accountability partner. ● Take on a role to shift your confidence, and change the way you see yourself. ● Pray for help with your growth. Ask for help in making the shifts in knowing who you truly are.   Sponsor: Audible - Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial.   Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Over It and On With It Initial Podcast Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler

This is a MUST LISTEN. One of my favorite people in the world and someone who is truly a soul brother to me, Aubrey Marcus, and I talk about purpose, relationship, having a tribe and going through the FIRE of life (aka the personal growth path).   A little about Aubrey….   He is committed to empowering people to achieve their fullest human potential. He is the founder of Onnit, known for nutritional supplements based on a holistic health philosophy he calls Total Human Optimization. Aubrey Marcus has since grown Onnit into an industry leader, providing innovative peak performance supplements, foods, fitness equipment, and apparel.   Aubrey has a degree in philosophy, a multi-sport athlete (check out his instagram page @aubreymarcus and see some of the crazy physical stuff) and lives life with intense focus and willingness to seek the Truth.   He is about to start a new course which you can join in on “Go for your win” which you can learn more about at www.goforyourwin.com   And get a discount on any Onnit product at www.onnit.com/christine

The human experience is a beautiful thing, even when it’s challenging. It is sacred when someone is vulnerable. Today’s caller, Toni, shares her vulnerability as she asks for guidance. She reveals that many of the decisions of her life come from a place of fear. Toni is confused about what security and love really are. We talk about having a relationship with a higher power especially after she has gone through times in her life when she didn’t feel there was any kind of God. There IS some kind of higher power. There are so many names for it, so many ways people interpret it, but to me, it is infinite unconditional love. It may be hard to believe in any kind of God, when there is so much suffering in the world. The best way I can attempt to understand all the horrible things that happen, is that they happen as a result of human choice and free will. While many human choices are still made from a place of pain and fear, we are in a time of awakening. We are in a massive shift in consciousness. What is available to us all, is to make the choice to see the world through spiritual eyes. See ourselves through more spiritual eyes, without judgment; to see through the eyes of infinite and unconditional love. To heal our own pain that is preventing us from feeling connected to a higher power. We are moving into more acceptance, forgiveness and gratitude. If you are craving a deeper spiritual connection, please don’t wait for God to prove itself to you -- instead, open your heart, and pray to be shown the way. You are a spiritual being having a human experience. You are one. You are love. You are connected.   Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Do you feel you are operating more out of fear than faith? ● Are you making a lot of decisions with fear or self-doubt? ● Are you a people pleaser, who is afraid of disappointing people? ● Is connecting to a higher power challenging to you? If you do have a connection, would you like to deepen it? ● Are there situations in your life that make you doubt whether a God exists?   Toni's Question: Toni feels all aspects of her life are affected by her making decisions from a place of fear. She would like to find a way to think more productively.   Toni's Key Insights and Aha’s: ● She fears failing and disappointing people. ● Her self-worth is based on her people pleasing. ● She’s confused about what security and love really are. ● She hasn’t felt protected, or connected to her spirituality, since her father passed. ● She feels like she would be clearer, if she had a spiritual connection. ● She has been operating in survival mode. ● She should know she is not broken. ● She can change her relationship with herself, today. ● She can focus on her blessings, not on her fears.   How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She should realize she can access her spirituality. ● She should start processing her pain, and remove judgment, to arrive at forgiveness and love. ● She should put herself in an environment where she can heal. ● She can start cultivating her relationship with God, by talking to him/her.   Assignments and Takeaways: ● What is in your way of a connection to a higher power? ● What is keeping you in patterns of people pleasing and indecision? ● Do you have old trauma that needs to be processed? ● What beliefs may be keeping you from having beliefs? ● What religious upbringing did you have, which no longer resonates with you? ● You need to find which truth resonates with you. ● Look for a spiritual community of people who are committed to awakening, and who know we are all connected to source.  ● Start to develop a relationship with your higher power. ● Pray. Pray for experiences, feelings, and pray to be shown the way.   Sponsor: Audible - Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial.   Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Over It and On With It Initial Podcast

So much good stuff in this coaches corner.  Everything from dealing with a break-up, to dating tips (learn how to write a great online profile), to being better in your relationship.   Listen to my friend and incredible dating coach, Marni Battista and I share about love and dating.   A little more about Marni: Marni Battista has a Masters in Education and is a Certified Life Coach by the International Coaching Federation. She is also a Master Practitioner at administering an Energy Assessment, “The D-Factor,” that helps clients pinpoint exactly why they are, or are not date-able, and what types of messages they are unconsciously broadcasting to others based on their thoughts, feelings, actions and attitudes. Marni is also trained as a Facilitator and Mentor Trainer by the Hoffman Institute, a world-renowned leader in personal development. In addition, Marni is the on-camera Dating & Relationship Coach to Tristan Couveras, star of the new hit reality TV show, “ControlTV,” produced by Seth Green and Ken Fuchs, producer of “The Bachelor.”   Get so much more from her here:  http://datingwithdignity.com

Do you feel a yearning to have a child? All women feel a desire to create, to give birth to things and to experience unconditional love. Sometimes, we project that on external things. Or, maybe we women feel we need to have a purpose. It may be that we need to move into a place of unconditional love for ourselves. We need to learn to love and nurture ourselves. You don’t want to have a child and then expect the child to fill your inner voids, or to make up for all the places you don’t love yourself. We should be as clear as possible about our decision to have a child, before bringing a baby into the world, so we do not project our emotional wounds on to the child. So consider, are you sure it is a baby you want, or is it something else you are yearning for? It takes courage to investigate what is true for us. Today’s caller, Jenny, is struggling with whether or not she wants to have children. As we dig deeper, it becomes apparent her issue is really about her honoring her own truth, and how she may not be able to reach clarity on the issue until she clears up some old beliefs and patterns. They are many reasons why you may not be 100% clear about a decision you are facing. Your clarity may be affected if you are not at a good point in life to make the decision, or if you are too impacted by what other people think, or society's expectations of you. You may also have difficulty if you have issues from your past influencing you, or if you are considering the choice as an either-or. All of these things can keep you in limbo. Consider form versus essence, where the baby is the form, and the essence is everything you think that baby is going to make you feel. If you are longing to become a parent, what is it you want to feel, and how can you bring it into your life now? The more you trust you are able to mother or father yourself in a loving way, the better mother you will be. Practice forgiving any misunderstandings about what being a parent means, that you may have bought into when you were a child. My personal mastery coaching course, Over It and On With It, is now open for registration until October 20th, 2016. The 6-week course includes a 90-minute call every other week, worksheets, guided meditations and more. This course is the best of my spiritual practices and practical tips. An investment in yourself is the best investment you will ever make. Go to ChristineHassler.com/Mastery to register or email Jill@ChristineHassler.com.   Consider/Ask Yourself: ● Are you feeling the pressure of your biological clock? ● Are you struggling with a big life choice? ● In dating, or any other relationship, do you struggle with your own authenticity?   Jenny's Question: Jenny feels the subject of having children is coming up more and more during her relationships, but she’s not sure where she stands on the issue.   Jenny's Key Insights and Aha’s: ● Her early motherhood influences were not positive. ● She doesn’t feel pressure from her biological clock, it’s pressure from other people about her biological clock. ● She wants to be married in the future. ● She tends to be repeating the patterns of her mother. ● She may not unconditionally love herself. ● She wants to find the perfect partner. ● She can not seem to get to the root of her issue. ● Her definition of authenticity may need to be adjusted.   How to Get Over It and On With It: ● She should stop looking to other people to help her make her decisions. ● She should find self-love and self-trust within herself, before making the decision to have a child. ● She should try to bring out the mother archetype within herself. ● She should trust her intuition. ● She should write out her misunderstandings she adopted when she was a child. ● She should ask for guidance during her spiritual practice. ● She should rephrase her authenticity statement.   Assignments and Takeaways: ● Look at what is impacting your choices ○ Are you too far ahead of yourself? ○ Are you too impacted by what other people think? ○ Are there issues from your past, clouding your judgment? ○ Are you holding your choice as an either-or? ● If you are longing to be a parent look at the ways you can do it right now. ● Make new agreements with yourself, you are able to keep.   Resources: Christine Hassler How to Make Change Happen and stick! FREE Webinar Valid until 10-20-2016 Over It and On With It Personal Mastery Coaching Course Expectation Hangover Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Find me on Snapchat @chrishassler @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com

Originally from Chicago, Samantha Bennett is a writer, speaker, actor, teacher and creativity/productivity specialist and the author of the bestselling, "Get It Done: From Procrastination to Creative Genius in 15 Minutes a Day" (New World Library). She is the creator of the www.TheOrganizedArtistCompany.com, dedicated to helping creative people get unstuck, especially by helping them focus and move forward on their goals. Now based in a tiny beach town outside of Los Angeles, CA, Bennett offers workshops, keynotes and private consulting. She also makes a heck of a roast chicken.    Her latest book is, "Start Right Where You Are: How Little Changes Can Make a Big Difference for Overwhelmed Procrastinators, Frustrated Overachievers and Recovering Perfectionists" (New World Library, Nov. 2016)