Speaking Your Brand: Public Speaking Tips and Strategies

This episode didn’t go quite as planned. In last week’s episode, we looked at why some speakers become thought leaders - the elements they have in common. I’ve gotten great feedback on that episode, so go back and listen to it if you haven’t already. I decided to do this series on thought leadership because of a client survey we did and a recent conversation I had with my business coach. She pointed out to me that I needed to step up. So, I was planning on sharing my own journey as a thought leader over the past 15 years. I have 3 particular inflection points: when I was in politics; when I had my prior technology company; and the past 5 years since I started SYB. Except Sunday morning came, two days before this episode airs, and I had been procrastinating on recording it. I had the outline done, yet I felt like something was missing. I was showing the facade of Carol - sure, I’d share “mistakes” I’ve made and lessons I’ve learned, but it felt flat. If you’ve been listening to this podcast this year, especially for the past few months, you may have noticed - I certainly have - that a theme has shown up several times - how hard it is for me to tap into my emotions.  I’m great at analyzing and intellectualizing, but ask me to tell you what my emotions are, what’s deeper, and there’s a wall there: my guests April Harter and Rebecca Arbona pointed it out (and I’m grateful for them); you can even hear it way back in episode 97 when Geraldine Carter coached me. So, I decided to use this episode to share a very personal story, one that most of my friends don’t even know.  You’ll also hear the reasons I chose to share it, as well as how we’re evolving our work here at Speaking Your Brand. Thank you for listening. This episode is the second in our series on thought leadership.  About Us: The Speaking Your Brand podcast is hosted by Carol Cox. At Speaking Your Brand, we help women entrepreneurs and professionals clarify their brand message and story, create their signature talks, and develop their thought leadership platforms. Our mission is to get more women in positions of influence and power because it's through women's stories and visibility that we challenge the status quo and change existing systems. Check out our coaching programs at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com.  Links: Show notes at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/185 Subscribe to get updates about our upcoming live virtual summit on October 15: https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/summit/ Schedule a consult call to talk about creating your signature talk and thought leadership platform: https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/contact.  Connect with Carol on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolcox Business Coach Lisa Princic: https://www.scalingdeep.com Related Podcast Episodes: Episode 97: Thinking Bigger – I Get Coached On-Air by Geraldine Carter Episode 175: The Work of Anti-Racism as White Women with Carol Cox and Diane Diaz Episode 177: A Radically Different Approach to Understanding Racism with April Harter Episode 179: The Deep Truths You and Your Brand Need to Say with Rebeca Arbona [Finding Your Voice Series] Episode 180: You Say You Want to be a Thought Leader: What That Really Means & How to Find Your Voice with Carol Cox and Diane Diaz Episode 184: Why Some Speakers Become Thought Leaders with Carol Cox [Thought Leadership Series]

What do you think when you hear the term “thought leader?” Do you think you can be one? (Hint: you can!) I define a thought leader as someone who has an interesting idea that challenges the status quo, challenges our assumptions, maybe even breaks the rules, especially one that hasn’t been talked about a lot in their circle of influence, who communicates it with conviction and boldness, who inspires people to take action AND who causes people to be self-reflective, to learn more about themselves and how they relate to the world. We did a client survey recently and the phrase “thought leadership” came up more than I had expected. It makes sense that if you enjoy speaking, it means you want to have a bigger impact, reach more people, and grow your brand and business, all of which is related to being a thought leader. But sometimes it can feel like you’re putting out content - and yet it doesn’t seem to go anywhere in particular.  What’s missing is a container for what you’re doing. You don’t need to have extraordinary charisma or a great PR machine. (Although how you communicate does matter, but not in the way you may think.) For this episode, I analyzed 5 people - 4 women and 1 man - who’ve become thought leaders to see what they had in common: Brene Brown Simon Sinek Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Layla F. Saad Rachel Rodgers   Why did I select these 5? They were the first who came to mind and I wanted to analyze a few who’ve been around awhile (10 years) and a few who are more recent. In this episode, you’ll learn: 5 key elements that turned them from speakers/content creators into thought leaders What makes their communication style especially effective The role that thought leaders play for people What it means to have a container for your message Questions you can ask yourself   This episode is the first in a new series we’re doing on thought leadership.  About Us: The Speaking Your Brand podcast is hosted by Carol Cox. At Speaking Your Brand, we help women entrepreneurs and professionals create their signature talks and gain more visibility to achieve their goals. Our mission is to get more women in positions of influence and power: on stages, in businesses, on boards, in the media, in politics, and in our communities. Check out our coaching programs at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com.  Links: Show notes at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/184 Register for our next free webinar: https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/webinar/ Schedule a consult call to talk about creating your signature talk and thought leadership platform: https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/contact.  Connect with Carol on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolcox   Resources mentioned: Brene Brown’s TEDx talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability Simon Sinek’s TEDx talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/simon_sinek_how_great_leaders_inspire_action Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s speech on the House floor: https://www.c-span.org/video/?c4894496/representative-alexandria-ocasio-cortez-speaks-exchange-representative-ted-yoho AOC’s Instagram post about her speech: https://www.instagram.com/p/CDMrZIzAI1B/ Layla F. Saad’s Me and White Supremacy challenge and book: http://laylafsaad.com/ Rachel Rodgers’ Instagram video: https://www.instagram.com/p/CA1Ez5qHL6o/ Rachel Rodgers’ podcast: https://helloseven.co/podcast-page/ Related Podcast Episodes: Episode 175: The Work of Anti-Racism as White Women with Carol Cox and Diane Diaz Episode 179: The Deep Truths You and Your Brand Need to Say with Rebeca Arbona [Finding Your Voice Series] Episode 180: You Say You Want to be a Thought Leader: What That Really Means & How to Find Your Voice with Carol Cox and Diane Diaz [Finding Your Voice Series] Episode 183: Amplify Your Voice by Having a Sponsor with Jhaymee Tynan [Finding Your Voice Series]

If you've seen the incredible production of the play “Hamilton,” you may remember the song, “The room where it happens.” In it, Aaron Burr laments that he wants to be in the room where it happens - where leaders make decisions, make compromises, make opportunities for themselves and those who they are allied with. The idea is that to get traction, to have your ideas heard, to be successful, you want to be where things are going on, where you can make a difference, where the people around you can help you out.  But what happens if it's not possible for you to be in that room? You need people who are advocates for you, people who are in those rooms, especially higher-level rooms that you may not have access to or be invited to or be there at that moment, who can advocate on your behalf, who can recommend you for a speaking engagement, who can refer you to a new client, who can nominate you for an award or an opportunity. This is what it means to have a sponsor: a person who advocates for you in the rooms where you are not. Having a sponsor amplifies your voice - and you can amplify other voices by being a sponsor for them. My guest today is Jhaymee Tynan, who is Assistant Vice President of Integration at Atrium Health, a $10bn integrated healthcare delivery system in Charlotte, NC, and is passionate about sponsorship, particularly to advance women of color. Earlier this year, Jhaymee launched her 100 x 2030 initiative to sponsor 100 women of color in healthcare in the next 10 years - and to encourage others to do so as well. We worked together recently to create her signature talk so she can share this message of the power of sponsorship with more organizations.   In this episode, Jhaymee and I talk about: The difference between a sponsor and a mentor The 5 C’s of a great sponsor How you can become sponsor-ready Why Jhaymee created her 100 x 2030 initiative Jhaymee’s stress management strategies (including 2 book recommendations) How we worked together to create her signature talk to promote her initiative - and what she found especially helpful   This episode is part of our podcast series on “Finding Your Voice.”   About My Guest: Jhaymee Tynan, PMP®, PfMP®, FACHE® is Assistant Vice President, Integration at Atrium Health, Charlotte, N.C. In her current role, she leads the system’s Integration Management Office, which provides day-to-day operations and strategy leadership for post-merger integration activities with current and new partners. Before joining Atrium Health, Jhaymee was Business Transformation Manager at Deloitte Consulting in the Global Life Sciences and Healthcare Practice.  Jhaymee received a M.B.A. in General Management from the Goizueta Business School at Emory University, Atlanta, GA, a master’s degree in project management from The George Washington University, Washington D.C., and a bachelor’s degree in finance from Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, V.A. Jhyamee is the Creator and Founder of #100x2030, a career movement designed to increase diversity at the senior and C-Suite levels of healthcare organizations across the globe. Jhaymee personally made a commitment to sponsor 100 women of color in healthcare by 2030 to demonstrate the importance of sponsorship and to amplify the careers for Black, Indigenous, People of Color (BIPOC) in the healthcare industry.   About Us: The Speaking Your Brand podcast is hosted by Carol Cox. At Speaking Your Brand, we help women entrepreneurs and professionals create their signature talks and gain more visibility to achieve their goals. Our mission is to get more women in positions of influence and power: on stages, in businesses, on boards, in the media, in politics, and in our communities. Check out our coaching programs at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com.  Links: Show notes at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/183 Jhaymee’s website: https://jhaymeetynan.com/ Jhaymee’s Forbes article: https://www.forbes.com/sites/ellevate/2020/02/05/why-im-sponsoring-100-women-of-color-in-healthcare-by-2030/#5db178f73f3f Work with us to create your signature talk and message: Schedule a free consultation call at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/contact. Connect on LinkedIn: Carol Cox = https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolcox Jhaymee Tynan (guest) = https://www.linkedin.com/in/jhaymeetynan/ Related Podcast Episodes: Episode 98: Expanding Your Personal Story into a Universal Message with Nicole Rochester, M.D. [Coaching] Episode 163: A Feminist Approach to Public Speaking with Carol Cox Episode 169: Leveraging Free Speaking Engagements Into Bigger Opportunities with Angela Hosking Episode 180: You Say You Want to be a Thought Leader: What That Really Means & How to Find Your Voice with Carol Cox and Diane Diaz [Finding Your Voice Series]

In this episode, my guest and I talk about what may be a difficult topic for some of you: sexual abuse and in particular male sexual abuse. We don’t go into detail about the abuse, but I wanted to let you know in case this is an area that is personal to you and you’d rather not listen to our conversation. Even if we’ve never personally experienced sexual abuse or have a close family member who has, this topic can be uncomfortable precisely because it’s not talked about. I’m not one to shy away from uncomfortable topics because I believe that it’s invisibility and silence that maintain the status quo - and there are so many things in our society that need to change. My hope is that after listening to this conversation, you will be inspired to use your voice because you can help others break their silence. I first met my guest Kelli Palfy, Ph.D. when I did an online presentation to Julie Broad’s Book Launchers group of authors (Julie was on this podcast in episode 65 and talked about writing, publishing, and promoting your book). Kelli then hired us for a VIP Day and worked with our speaking coach Diane Diaz to create her signature talk. After hearing more about the work that Kelli does and her book, I invited her on the podcast to talk about how she found the courage and confidence to give voice to a difficult topic - and what the impact has been on her, her clients, and her audiences.   In this episode, Kelli and I talk about: Her awakening to what was going on in her field (even though she was an expert) The fulfillment and meaning you get when you speak up How your voice can help others break their silence When you talk about a topic that others don’t, you help people think differently (which is huge) How we approached creating Kelli’s signature talk Suggestions for Kelli to start charging for her workshops This episode is part of our podcast series on “Finding Your Voice.”   About My Guest: Dr. Kelli Palfy began her professional career working in adult and youth corrections. Here she noticed a disproportionate number of males in the system. After becoming an RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police) officer, she took an interest in investigating sex crimes and went on to specialize in sex crimes committed against children internationally.  After retiring from the RCMP, Dr. Palfy obtained her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Alberta. She conducted her doctoral research on the reasons why males don’t commonly disclose sexual abuse. She is now a trained trauma therapist and public speaker on the topic of male abuse. Dr. Palfy currently runs a small private practice where she works with male survivors of sexual abuse, first responders and couples using Emotion-Focused and Cognitive Behavioral Approach, plus Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). Her recent book is “Men Too: Unspoken Truths About Male Sexual Abuse.”   About Us: The Speaking Your Brand podcast is hosted by Carol Cox. At Speaking Your Brand, we help women entrepreneurs and professionals create their signature talks and gain more visibility to achieve their goals. Our mission is to get more women in positions of influence and power: on stages, in businesses, on boards, in the media, in politics, and in our communities. Check out our coaching programs at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com.  Links: Show notes at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/182 Kelli’s websites: https://www.peaksandvalleyspsychology.com/ and http://kellipalfy.com/ Work with us to create your signature talk: Get the details and schedule a consult call at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/coaching.  Enroll in our LinkedIn for Speakers Masterclass at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/linkedin.    Connect on LinkedIn: Carol Cox = https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolcox Dr. Kelli Palfy (guest) = https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-kelli-palfy-98336270/   Related Podcast Episodes: Episode 65: Writing, Publishing, and Promoting Your Book with Julie Broad Episode 153: [Coaching] Threading a Story Throughout Your Signature Talk with Amber Hawley Episode 180: You Say You Want to be a Thought Leader: What That Really Means & How to Find Your Voice with Carol Cox and Diane Diaz [Finding Your Voice Series]

We’ve been talking for the past couple of podcast episodes about finding your voice and both the challenges and opportunities around that. My guest today is Dr. Jerrica Dodd, a pharmacist who now coaches other women pharmacists transitioning into starting their own businesses. Jerrica is an incredible entrepreneur, coach, and speaker. We’ve worked together twice on her talks and she has a dynamic personality and presence. Jerrica and I talk about: The key question she asks her coaching clients - one that’s oftentimes difficult for us as women to answer Asking yourself: If you could do anything, what would it be? Jerrica’s surprising and unexpected journey to pharmacy (from a love of English and History) Our mutual love of diagramming sentences (do kids still do that?) How Jerrica found her voice by seeing what was at the core of her stories Recognizing the universal values that keep showing up in your personal experiences and stories Jerrica’s recommendations if you want to have more impact and fulfillment This episode is the third in our podcast series on “Finding Your Voice.”   About My Guest: Dr. Jerrica Dodd is a pharmacist, educator and coach who empowers individuals to transform their lives through coaching, teaching and speaking. Through her integrative company, JerricaSpeaks.com, she combines her pharmacy administration, pharma-medical affairs and managed care expertise with her passion for service. She teaches healthcare professionals, individuals and organizations on up-to-date drug interaction considerations when treating chronically ill patients and consults with practices on drug safety. In addition to her pharmaceutical services, she empowers women to live healthier and happier from the inside out as a coach and licensed Zumba instructor. From medicine to ministry, Jerrica is undeniably passionate about people—and it radiates through every aspect of her work.   About Us: The Speaking Your Brand podcast is hosted by Carol Cox. At Speaking Your Brand, we help women entrepreneurs and professionals create their signature talks and gain more visibility to achieve their goals. Our mission is to get more women in positions of influence and power: on stages, in businesses, on boards, in the media, in politics, and in our communities. Check out our coaching programs at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com.  Links: Show notes at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/181 Jerrica’s website: https://drjerricadodd.com/ Book “The Big Leap” by Dr. Gay Hendricks. Get our LinkedIn for Speakers online masterclass at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/linkedin.    Connect on LinkedIn: Carol Cox = https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolcox Dr. Jerrica Dodd (guest) = https://www.linkedin.com/in/drjdodd/ Related Podcast Episodes: Episode 98: [Coaching] Expanding Your Personal Story into a Universal Message with Nicole Rochester, M.D. Episode 177: A Radically Different Approach to Understanding Racism with April Harter, LCSW Episode 179: The Deep Truths You and Your Brand Need to Say with Rebeca Arbona [Finding Your Voice Series] Episode 180: You Say You Want to be a Thought Leader: What That Really Means & How to Find Your Voice with Carol Cox and Diane Diaz [Finding Your Voice Series] 

Have you struggled to figure out what to say, whether it's on a social media post or in a presentation? Have you stopped yourself from sharing something because you weren't sure what the reaction would be? Do you feel like there's something deeper, more meaningful, more impactful you want to say, but you haven't quite been able to tease it out? Do you feel stuck in your business and marketing and haven't been able to break through the online noise? As business owners, we're used to being marketers: crafting a message that appeals to a customer market to help them where they're at and where they see *they* want to go. Being a thought leader is different: it requires you to push your audience (and yourself) to go somewhere new. This can feel scary and it's normal to have fears come up: fear of criticism, rejection, ostracism (we're human, after all). But, the rewards are well worth it!   In this episode, you’ll learn: The differences between being a business owner, a marketer, and a thought leader Why it’s hard to speak up and say what we want to say - and techniques to change this 5 questions to ask yourself to find your voice 3 things you can do now to start putting it into practice Examples to inspire you   This episode is the audio from the recent webinar we did. Watch the video recording with the slides at https://www.crowdcast.io/e/syb-find-your-voice. This episode is the second in our podcast series on “Finding Your Voice.”   Need help to find your voice and put together a powerful message? Work with us to create your signature talk, which you can use for presentations, webinars, workshops, marketing materials, and more. Get the details and pricing and apply online at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/coaching/.  About Us: The Speaking Your Brand podcast is hosted by Carol Cox, joined in this episode by our top speaking coach Diane Diaz. At Speaking Your Brand, we help women entrepreneurs and professionals create their signature talks and gain more visibility to achieve their goals. Our mission is to get more women in positions of influence and power: on stages, in businesses, on boards, in the media, in politics, and in our communities. Check out our coaching programs at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com.  Links: Show notes at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/180 View the video of our webinar at https://www.crowdcast.io/e/syb-find-your-voice. Connect on LinkedIn: Carol Cox = https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolcox Diane Diaz = https://www.linkedin.com/in/dianediaz  Related Podcast Episodes: Episode 91: Visibility Works: From Local Speaking to TED.com to a Book with Tammy Lally Episode 98: Expanding Your Personal Story into a Universal Message with Nicole Rochester, M.D. Episode 162: Why We’re #ChoosingWomensVoices – and You Should Too with Carol Cox and Diane Diaz Episode 163: A Feminist Approach to Public Speaking with Carol Cox Episode 179: The Deep Truths You and Your Brand Need to Say with Rebeca Arbona [Finding Your Voice Series]

When my guest said this during our conversation, we both stopped to write it down because it was so good: “You can’t attract the like-minded to you if you don’t speak your mind.”   Boom. Mic drop.   This is an incredible conversation, one you’re likely to listen to more than once. Why do some brands resonate more than others? How can you connect with your audience in a deeper way? How do you find what your deeper truth is?   My guest is Rebeca Arbona, who is an expert in helping companies develop their brand voice and strategy. In this episode, you’ll learn: The 3 layers of truths in your brand The key ingredient you need to add to why you do what you do (you’ll hear me stumble into this) How our values connect to our deeper truths Why sharing your deep truths makes you feel more fulfilled Why we don’t share our deep truths How saying what’s scary can actually be safer What does it mean to “be authentic” Examples of brands that get this Identifying your passion and the lens through which you see the world This episode is the first in our new podcast series on “Finding Your Voice.” Want more? Register for our free webinar “You Say You Want to be a Thought Leader: What That Really Means & How to Find Your Voice” at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/webinar/.  About My Guest: Rebeca Arbona lives to help brands communicate the truths at their core so they can leap from tall buildings and crush their villains. She’s always been a word geek and, as a kid, read the dictionary for fun, but she somehow ended up with a career in Brand Strategy. So when Rebeca realized that naming combines her love of words with her talent for brand strategy, it was like a radioactive spider bite that unleashed her superpower. She’s now a Strategic Namer and New Brand Creator, crafting breakthrough names and distinctive brands that help her client’s businesses fly. Follow Rebeca’s #tellthetruths weekly video series on LinkedIn to catch her atomic blue hair and insightful, quirky takes on the strategy of naming, brand strategy, and why the truth matters to brands that want to be super.   About Us: The Speaking Your Brand podcast is hosted by Carol Cox. At Speaking Your Brand, we help women entrepreneurs and professionals create their signature talks and gain more visibility to achieve their goals. Our mission is to get more women in positions of influence and power: on stages, in businesses, on boards, in the media, in politics, and in our communities. Check out our coaching programs at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com.  Links: Show notes at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/179  Rebeca’s website: https://www.brandtrue.com/  Register for our free webinar “You Say You Want to be a Thought Leader: What That Really Means & How to Find Your Voice” at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/webinar/.    Sign up for our free #ChoosingWomensVoices challenge at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/challenge.  Get our LinkedIn for Speakers online masterclass at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/linkedin.    Connect on LinkedIn: Carol Cox = https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolcox Rebeca Arbona (guest) = https://www.linkedin.com/in/rebecaarbona/ Rebeca’s article on Nike = https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/opposite-love-isnt-hate-rebeca-arbona/ Related Podcast Episodes: Episode 97: Thinking Bigger – I Get Coached On-Air by Geraldine Carter Episode 162: Why We’re #ChoosingWomensVoices – and You Should Too with Carol Cox and Diane Diaz Episode 163: A Feminist Approach to Public Speaking with Carol Cox

This is not your typical conversation or approach to negotiations. I came across my guest, Alexandra (Alex) Carter, on another podcast where she was talking about her new book called “Ask for More: Ten Questions to Negotiate Anything.” Alex is a Director of the Mediation Clinic at Columbia Law School, where she is also an award-winning professor, and a world-renowned negotiation trainer for the United Nations. She speaks and appears on TV and in the media regularly. Intrigued, I purchased her book, figuring it would be the standard negotiation questions you’d expect about understanding what the other person wants, finding common ground, knowing your walkaway point, etc. Oh, it’s so much more than that! At its core, Alex’s book is about understanding and negotiating with yourself as well as being willing to hear no, which is incredibly insightful and powerful. In this episode, we talk about: The difference between needs and demands An example of needs vs. demands when asking to be paid as a speaker How Alex approached and negotiated with event organizers when her in-person speaking engagements were canceled because of the coronavirus The *key* question Alex asked when some event organizers were reluctant Another important question to use when negotiating Why Alex decided to offer free webinars and the results she got, including how it impacted her paid speaking How men and women negotiate differently Register for our new webinar "You Say You Want to be a Thought Leader: What That Really Means & How to Find Your Voice" at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/webinar/.   About My Guest: Alexandra (Alex) Carter is Director of the Mediation Clinic at Columbia Law School, where she is also an award-winning professor, and a world-renowned negotiation trainer for the United Nations. She also serves as Executive Director of Stand Up Girls, helping tween girls develop relationships for greater self-esteem and resilience.  She has appeared on CBS This Morning, MSNBC’s LIVE Weekend and Hardball, Marketplace, and in The New York Times and Wall Street Journal. Alex is the author of ASK FOR MORE: Ten Questions to Negotiate Anything (Simon & Schuster; May 5, 2020). She lives in Maplewood, New Jersey, with her husband and daughter.   About Us: The Speaking Your Brand podcast is hosted by Carol Cox. At Speaking Your Brand, we help women entrepreneurs and professionals create their signature talks and gain more visibility to achieve their goals. Our mission is to get more women in positions of influence and power: on stages, in businesses, on boards, in the media, in politics, and in our communities. Check out our coaching programs at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com.  Links: Show notes at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/178  Alex’s website: https://alexcarterasks.com Alex’s book “ASK FOR MORE: Ten Questions to Negotiate Anything”: https://alexcarterasks.com/book/ Forbes article “How Carol Cox is Helping Women Speakers Get Paid What They Deserve” by Janice Gassam: https://www.forbes.com/sites/janicegassam/2019/12/01/how-carol-cox-is-helping-women-speakers-get-paid-what-they-deserve/#1f5c3921533f  Get our LinkedIn for Speakers online masterclass at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/linkedin.  Connect on LinkedIn: Carol Cox = https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolcox Alexandra Carter (guest) = https://www.linkedin.com/in/alexandrabcarter/ Related Podcast Episodes: Episode 68: Getting Paid to Speak and Negotiating Speaker Fees Episode 128: The 4 Visibility Mindset Shifts You Must Make with Eleanor Beaton [Confidence Series] Episode 132: 7 Reasons Why You Aren’t Getting Paid to Speak Episode 161: Mindset and Negotiation Strategies for Speakers with Latesha Byrd [Mindset Series] Carol Cox on Eleanor Beaton’s podcast episode 369: Scale Your Message 

We’ve been hearing and seeing a lot over the past few weeks about anti-racism education and the need for white people (like me) to learn about how deep systemic racism is embedded throughout our society and the actions we can take to combat racism and anti-Blackness. This is a very different conversation about racism. My guest is April Harter, who is a therapist and licensed clinical social worker and the founder of the Racism Recovery Center. April has what I call a radically different approach to understanding racism. She looks at it from a behavioral/psychological/personal level. What she has found is that racism is rooted in childhood trauma/abuse/neglect and narcissism. This is not exclusive to people who join white supremacist organizations like the KKK.  This is all of us who are white. As I discovered from this conversation, I tend to be very cerebral and intellectual (from my academic background and my personality). I thus intellectualize my understanding of racism (which really is a defense mechanism) - and is not a substitute for the personal work I need to do. As April says, activism is not a substitute or solution for dealing with our personal racism. I invite you to listen to this conversation with an open mind and an open heart. In this episode, April and I talk about: The two types of racism: institutional (history and the law) and personal (behavioral and psychological) The trauma, narcissism, and codependency behind racism (which results in hyper-vigilance and defensiveness) The performative allyship that we see on social media - and the connection to perfectionism, shame, and inauthenticity 95-98% of white people *haven’t* done their personal psychological racism work (which results in denial) Most white people don’t recognize the emotional neglect or abuse they experienced growing up (including perfectionism and over-achievement) White women saviorism and the connection to codependency in a patriarchal society Take action and do the work from a place of LOVE, not saviorism The stages of change: pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, maintenance, and relapse Activism and learning about racism tend to be a way to bypass the personal healing journey About My Guest: April Harter, LCSW is a former medical social worker, where she provided counseling to her patients and their family members to help them cope with the trauma of medical emergencies in the state of Texas. She later moved to Colorado and started her private practice to serve QTPOC patients with a history of racial trauma. After having worked with QTPOC, she decided to help prevent racism in society by working with white clients as a coach using the Racist Signature Theory. Finally, she opened up the Racism Recovery Center to offer psychotherapy to white people in interracial families. About Us: The Speaking Your Brand podcast is hosted by Carol Cox. At Speaking Your Brand, we help women entrepreneurs and professionals create their signature talks and gain more visibility to achieve their goals. Our mission is to get more women in positions of influence and power: on stages, in businesses, on boards, in the media, in politics, and in our communities. Check out our coaching programs at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com.  Links: Show notes at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/177  April’s website: http://www.racismrecoverycenter.com/  April’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/racismrecoverycenter/ April’s “Racism Recovery Podcast”: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/racism-recovery-podcast/id1507043474    Related Podcast Episodes: Episode 167: Creating a Sense of Belonging with Your Audience with Traci Baxley, Ed.D. Episode 175: The Work of Anti-Racism as White Women with Carol Cox and Diane Diaz Episode 176: Handling Triggers, Reactions, and Emotions in Ourselves and Others with Lara Currie

We’re all feeling a lot of emotions and seeing reactions and triggers in ourselves and others. Whether we’re having one-on-one conversations with family and friends, interacting on social media, watching the news, or even speaking to audiences, how can we better understand how to recognize triggers in ourselves and others and handle them better? My guest is Lara Currie, who specializes in helping her clients, primarily women in high-stress fields, handle difficult conversations and difficult people. In this episode, Lara and I talk about: The 4 triggers people can have The secret gifts of emotions Mask emotions and what they’re masking The importance of self-awareness Strategies for handling a difficult person in your audience when you’re speaking (whether in-person or on a webinar) About My Guest: Lara Currie is passionate about uncovering dysfunctional communication patterns, combating manipulative tactics, while empowering women business owners in high-stress fields to communicate confidently. She is a podcaster, speaker & trainer, and the author of Difficult Happens; How Triggers, Boundaries, & Emotions Impact YOU every day. With 29 plus years of experience in high-conflict positions, she has a unique and intuitive understanding of why people act - and react - the way they do.   About Us: The Speaking Your Brand podcast is hosted by Carol Cox. At Speaking Your Brand, we help women entrepreneurs and professionals create their signature talks and gain more visibility to achieve their goals. Our mission is to get more women in positions of influence and power: on stages, in businesses, on boards, in the media, in politics, and in our communities. Check out our coaching programs at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com.  Links: Show notes at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/176 Lara’s website: https://difficulthappens.com/ Lara’s video series on “The Secret Gift in Every Emotion”: https://difficulthappens.com/secret-gift-in-every-emotion/ Lara’s podcast “Difficult Happens”: https://difficulthappens.com/podcast-page/ Book “The Art of Gathering” by Priya Parker: https://www.amazon.com/Art-Gathering-How-Meet-Matters-ebook/dp/B07637KVXL/ Sign up for our free webinars at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/webinar/  Connect on LinkedIn: Carol Cox = https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolcox Lara Currie (guest) = https://www.linkedin.com/in/lara-currie/   Related Podcast Episodes: Episode 54: Building a Culture of Trust with Your Team and Audience with Laura Gallaher, Ph.D. Episode 125: Handling Hard Conversations at Live Events with Sarah Stewart Holland and Beth Silvers of Pantsuit Politics Episode 164: Mindful Leadership in Uncertain Times with Puja Madan Episode 167: Creating a Sense of Belonging with Your Audience with Traci Baxley, Ed.D. Episode 175: The Work of Anti-Racism as White Women with Carol Cox and Diane Diaz