Where Do We Go From Here?

Trigger Warning: This episode contains references to sexual assault and other serious matters. Please proceed with caution. Like many of you, we've been listening along to Christianity Today's masterful podcast The Rise and Fall Of Mars Hill, and we had all the thoughts after the last one: The Things We Do To Women. Think of this as the debrief you wanted to have with a friend after you listened to that episode. Jess and Devi talk power and control, the pornified imagination Mark Driscoll represented, and of course: Where do we go from here? Watch this episode on YouTube HERE. Full Show Notes Partner with us for $3/month to hear an episode a week starting in August! Romcom debriefs, uncut audio, Devi reads Jess the news, and the Green Room all for $3/month Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter

It's our last listener show, and we go out with a bang getting to talk to DeVon this week. He tells us about going from a church background to walking away from God and his return to the church. Purity Culture found him on his return to the church, and he's got all the thoughts on how he dealt with it, and what he's doing now to change the culture to build healthy friendships and partnerships between men and women in evangelicalism. Partners get to join us in the Green Room this week, so if you want to chat, join our community in Patreon for $3/month. Two zoom discussion links available in Patreon this month: Thursday, July 29 8:30pm (AEDT)/ 6:30am (EST) Thursday July 29 9pm (EST)/ Friday July 30 11am (AEDT) Full show notes here Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter

Raise your hand if you heard the phrase "Love the sinner, hate the sin." Turns out there's a psychological reason why this is impossible. Dr. Richard Beck joins us today to talk about the psychology of disgust and the unconscious ways in which we push people away whom we believe will contaminate us. Jess and Devi also debrief the power of metaphors, and the ways a metaphor can harm us (crumpled rose anyone?). Partners get the full audio of this rich conversation, so if you want more from Dr. Richard Beck, join our community in Patreon for $3/month. Full show notes here Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter Richard Beck is an author, blogger and professor of psychology at Abilene Christian University. His most recent books are Hunting Magic Eels: Recovering an Enchanted Faith in a Skeptical Age and Trains, Jesus and Murder: The Gospel According to Johnny Cash. Richard writes daily about the intersections of faith and psychology on his blog Experimental Theology.

Listener Julie joins us to talk about the fear of making mistakes and how it crippled her for years. You'll find yourself in the broad themes of her story as someone who had to take on Purity Culture, the prosperity gospel, and her own pride. It moved her from passive princess to the strong, single woman she is today. Partner with us for $3/month to hear this month's romcom recap, "500 Days of Summer." You also get special guest episodes and a ticket to the Green Room. Full show notes here Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter

If you've been eyeing a summer bikini and hoping no one from church sees you, this might be your episode. Most of us had a parent or pastor telling us what to wear before we ever heard about premarital sex. The "modesty" conversation embedded itself into Purity Culture dictating the length of shorts, width of straps, and what kind of swimsuit was ok. We go through the problems with how modesty was taught and end with What Do We Wear From Here? We talk about ethical fashion, the context for our clothes, what's developmentally appropriate, and so much more. AND!!! Dr. Celeste Holbrook joins us as our first contributor for a monthly segment answering YOUR questions about sex. Listen up for the inaugural q & a at the end of this episode. Connect with Dr. Celeste on Facebook and Instagram. Full show notes here Partner with us for $3/month and listen to July's new romcom recap: 500 Days of Summer! Plus you get to hear uncut episodes from Dr. Kristin Kobes Du Mez, Dr. Michael Bird, and so many more (and a ticket to The Green Room). Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter

We've got a BIG episode for you to finish out June 2021. Listener and book club member Steph joins us to share her where do we go from here? story. From conservative evangelical culture in the mid west of the United States to the discovery that she's queer, Steph's insight about life as a queer Christian and what being part of a church community has meant to her will encourage you. As a special gift to you from our show, we've unlocked our Partner-only episode with Bridget Eileen Rivera so that all of you can listen to it in Patreon. Get a ticket to the Green Room! We meet on zoom at 9pm EST on Thursday June 24 (11am Melbourne time, June 25). It's the perfect place to meet others on a similar journey, ask questions, discuss and grow. Jess and Devi also start this episode off with a conversation about last week's hot topic: the song "Modest is Hottest." Is this a 2021 expression of Purity Culture? Should we give it any oxygen? What is real satire? We talk about it, and issue a challenge for you. Compose a song satirizing modest culture - real satire! - record yourself performing it, put it on social media and tag us. We'd love to feature your work on the show if it's quality. Full show notes here Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter

One of Purity Culture's origin stories is the birth of the militaristic masculine tradition inside white American evangelicalism. It is a story clearly told and meticulously documented by Professor Kristin Kobes Du Mez in her singular book, Jesus and John Wayne. Pioneered by men like James Dobson then continued more recently by John Eldredge and Mark Driscoll, this movement sought to define the nuclear family as the most important unit worthy of the protection of a strong father figure. But what of the generation of men who read Wild at Heart, attended boot camps, and grew up believing they didn't fit the evangelical picture of masculinity? Their experience of reading this book is told throughout the episode as Professor Du Mez explains where the movement came from and how it shaped the fractured evangelicalism we see today. Full show notes here Partner with us for $3/month to hear Professor Du Mez's talk to us about the untold stories around Billy Graham, James Dobson, and Mark Driscoll. Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter Kristin Kobes Du Mez is Professor of History and Gender Studies at Calvin University. She holds a PhD from the University of Notre Dame and her research focuses on the intersection of gender, religion, and politics. She has written for the New York Times, Washington Post, NBC News, and Religion News Service, and has been interviewed on NPR, CBS, and the BBC, among other outlets. Her most recent book is Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation. Connect with Kristin on Twitter

Move over Christian sex books, there's a rescue at hand. Sheila Wray Gregoire and her co-writers surveyed 20,000 Christian women, and what they found is shocking. If reading Love & Respect, the Act of Marriage, and others harmed you and your marriage, this is the episode for you. There is a way out of shame and obligation sex. Full show notes here Partner with us for $3/month to hear our recap of Miss Congeniality and get a ticket to this month's Green Room. Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter Sheila Wray Gregoire is passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex! A popular speaker, marriage blogger, and award-winning author of nine books, including The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex, and her latest book, The Great Sex Rescue, she wants to challenge Christians to go beyond pat answers on marriage to reach real intimacy. Sheila believes in authenticity, and gives real solutions to the very real and messy problems women, and couples, can face. Connect with Sheila on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Most of us who left Purity Culture know that there were two pieces of advice for successful relationships: Don't date a non Christian and don't have premarital sex. Ready for more? We tackle Christians dating non Christians today with data, practical truths and myths as well as your tender, truthful stories. Full show notes here Partner with us to hear this month's movie recap: Miss Congeniality! Does this hit from 2000 hold up in 2021? Sandra Bullock plus beauty pageant gave Jess & Devi lots to talk about. Instagram Twitter

Morgan Strehlow joins us to tell her Purity Culture story. The church taught her how to be a good girl and expected her to lead, but left her without the tools she needed to deal with growing up. With vulnerability Morgan tells us about the impact of purity culture and how she internalized the obligation sex message and what she's doing to move forward. Full show notes here Instagram Twitter Want a ticket to The Green Room so you can chat with Jess & Devi and other members of the community? On May 27 (28 in Australia) we are having our first monthly zoom call for Partners of the Show. Sign up by the 27th to join this month's call.