Where Do We Go From Here?

One of Purity Culture's origin stories is the birth of the militaristic masculine tradition inside white American evangelicalism. It is a story clearly told and meticulously documented by Professor Kristin Kobes Du Mez in her singular book, Jesus and John Wayne. Pioneered by men like James Dobson then continued more recently by John Eldredge and Mark Driscoll, this movement sought to define the nuclear family as the most important unit worthy of the protection of a strong father figure. But what of the generation of men who read Wild at Heart, attended boot camps, and grew up believing they didn't fit the evangelical picture of masculinity? Their experience of reading this book is told throughout the episode as Professor Du Mez explains where the movement came from and how it shaped the fractured evangelicalism we see today.   Full show notes here Partner with us for $3/month to hear Professor Du Mez's talk to us about the untold stories around Billy Graham, James Dobson, and Mark Driscoll.  Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter Kristin Kobes Du Mez is Professor of History and Gender Studies at Calvin University. She holds a PhD from the University of Notre Dame and her research focuses on the intersection of gender, religion, and politics. She has written for the New York Times, Washington Post, NBC News, and Religion News Service, and has been interviewed on NPR, CBS, and the BBC, among other outlets. Her most recent book is Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation. Connect with Kristin on Twitter

Move over Christian sex books, there's a rescue at hand. Sheila Wray Gregoire and her co-writers surveyed 20,000 Christian women, and what they found is shocking. If reading Love & Respect, the Act of Marriage, and others harmed you and your marriage, this is the episode for you. There is a way out of shame and obligation sex.  Full show notes here Partner with us for $3/month to hear our recap of Miss Congeniality and get a ticket to this month's Green Room.  Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter Sheila Wray Gregoire is passionate about changing the evangelical conversation about sex! A popular speaker, marriage blogger, and award-winning author of nine books, including The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex, and her latest book, The Great Sex Rescue, she wants to challenge Christians to go beyond pat answers on marriage to reach real intimacy. Sheila believes in authenticity, and gives real solutions to the very real and messy problems women, and couples, can face. Connect with Sheila on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

Most of us who left Purity Culture know that there were two pieces of advice for successful relationships: Don't date a non Christian and don't have premarital sex. Ready for more? We tackle Christians dating non Christians today with data,  practical truths and myths as well as your tender, truthful stories.  Full show notes here Partner with us to hear this month's movie recap: Miss Congeniality! Does this hit from 2000 hold up in 2021? Sandra Bullock plus beauty pageant gave Jess & Devi lots to talk about.  Instagram Twitter  

Morgan Strehlow joins us to tell her Purity Culture story. The church taught her how to be a good girl and expected her to lead, but left her without the tools she needed to deal with growing up. With vulnerability Morgan tells us about the impact of purity culture and how she internalized the obligation sex message and what she's doing to move forward.  Full show notes here Instagram Twitter Want a ticket to The Green Room so you can chat with Jess & Devi and other members of the community? On May 27 (28 in Australia) we are having our first monthly zoom call for Partners of the Show. Sign up by the 27th to join this month's call. 

We've all heard "The Bible clearly says" from pastors and people we know, so how do we get better at understanding biblical texts? Theology professor and academic dean Dr. Michael Bird joins us to look at the three big mistakes we make when we read our Bibles. Yes we look at historical context and reading our present moment into an ancient document, but we also talk about pragmatic and ideal ethics. There's so much good stuff in here to equip you to be a better student of the Bible.  Full Show Notes Here Partner with us for $3/month to hear a bonus episode with Michael Bird going through three New Testament texts: 1 Corinthians 11:2-12, Romans 16:1-7, and 1 Timothy 2:11-14. Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter Michael Bird is Academic Dean and Lecturer in Theology at Ridley College in Melbourne, Australia. He is an Anglican priest, author of more than 30 books on biblical and theological studies, including The New Testament in its World co-authored with N.T. Wright, he enjoys tennis, and hating coffee. He is married to Naomi and together they have four children. Follow Mike on Twitter @mbird13

Consent is a big word that's been in the news for the past few years, and when New South Wales Police Commissioner Mick Fuller suggested an app to regulate consent for the purpose of reducing assaults, we knew it was time for THE TALK. What is informed, enthusiastic consent? Why is it crucial for evangelicals to engage with this topic even with abstinence teaching? What does agency look like for women in relationships? This is the big talk about consent. Full show notes here Got thoughts? Email it to us: wheredowegofromherepodcast@gmail.com Talk back to us on Instagram and Twitter Partner with us for $3/month to hear uncut interviews, romcom debriefs and a to get a ticket to The Green Room, a live chat with Jess & Devi. 

Want a movie that simultaneously makes you think about revenge and forgiveness, sex and consent, men and women AND romcoms? "Promising Young Woman" is director/writer Emerald Fennel's Oscar-winning movie, and you guys. We have BIG THOUGHTS about what it has to say to us today. Jess & Devi talk through the major plot points, tracking Cassie's choices in light of purity culture and the what the broader culture around us says about men, women, sex and consent.  (Warning: episode contains tons of spoilers) Our thanks to Viviana Ortiz who created the episode artwork and allowed us to use it. Follow her: @vivs_studio Bonus - go to the show notes for a free movie discussion guide  Partner with us for $3/month to receive bonus episodes and a ticket to the Green Room (a monthly zoom chat with us and other partners) Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter

It's time to hear one of YOUR stories. Today Jenna tells us about purity culture in California, how her teen years and 20s helped her make decisions as she got older. Her story will help you feel less alone.  Show notes here You can hear our thoughts about Pretty Woman on The Jess & Devi Show for $3/month. Sign up today! Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter.

This week we start to find ways to heal, grow, and move forward. Therapist Krispin Mayfield gives us simple tools to begin the process of healing.  Full show notes here Partner with us for $3/month to hear uncut episodes with experts AND our recaps of romcoms from the 80s, 90s and 00s like this week's look back at Pretty Woman. Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter. Krispin Mayfield a therapist trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy, working with individuals and couples in Portland, OR. He explores the intersection of spirituality and attachment science on his podcast Attached to the Invisible and has a forthcoming book from Zondervan in 2022. Connect with Krispin on Instagram and Twitter.  

The science of attachment teaches us about how we relate to other people. As therapist Krispin Mayfield tells us today, we were created for connection, so how are we connecting with others if we were never taught how to do so in healthy ways? In part one today we cover the foundations of attachment: How we learn to attach, the coping strategies we use, what that might look like in our relationships.  Full show notes here Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter. Become a partner today for $3 and get uncut interviews with guests, romcom debriefs, and starting in May, a ticket to The Green Room, a live zoom chat with Jess and Devi and other partners.  Krispin Mayfield a therapist trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy, working with individuals and couples in Portland, OR. He explores the intersection of spirituality and attachment science on his podcast Attached to the Invisible and has a forthcoming book from Zondervan in 2022. Connect with Krispin on Instagram and Twitter.