

Where Do We Go From Here?
Devi Abraham & Jessica Van Der Wyngaard
A bi-monthly podcast untangling sex, self, and community for a new generation of Christians. Leave purity culture behind, save what matters.
Episodes
Mentioned books

Feb 10, 2021 • 44min
56: What Breaks Us And Why Sharing Helps With Laura Tremaine
Laura Tremaine is a storyteller and she joins us for a candid conversation about her life in a white evangelical subculture, how she moved out of it in Hollywood, and how she navigated her relationships and sexuality. Laura's superpower is sharing her stuff and encouraging us to do the same. She models that for us today by telling us the stories at pivotal points of her faith, relationships, and sexuality. We talk about: how her parents trust empowered her what sex revealed to her about what she believed about God why sharing our stuff matters You also get to hear from a member of our Ladies Night Book Club, Morgan, who shares why she joined and why you should too. Join the Ladies Night Book Club for $9/month. We start Redeeming Sex by Deb Hirsch on March 1, and if you're part of our book club, you get weekly zoom calls to discuss what you're learning in a safe group of spiritually curious women. You also get an exclusive podcast interview with Deb Hirsch and get to ask her your questions in a zoom Q&A. Join today! Show notes here Laura Tremaine is a writer and podcaster. On her weekly podcast 10 Things to Tell You, she encourages listeners to take the episode prompts to a friend or to their journal, because meaningful connections come from good conversations. Her first book Share Your Stuff. I'll Go First. released in February 2021. Laura lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Jeff, and their two children. You can connect with Laura on Instagram @laura.tremaine.

Feb 4, 2021 • 37min
55: Galentines and the Celebration of Friendship in a Romance World
February the month of love! Why is it though that both the broader culture and church culture tries to funnel us toward romantic love as the only expression of love there is? We want to celebrate Galentines today (and may we suggest, Guy-entines?!), and celebrate the reasons why our friendships are worth the investment. We explore why it might be tricky in our highly online, disconnected world, and we examine how to maintain friendships while dating or after marriage. We also open up the mailbag and have another segment with Dr. Celeste Holbrook answering a sex question at the end. Full show notes here Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter Been thinking about joining us for book club? Ladies Night Book Club starts a new book on March 1. Sign up here for $9/month. Or become a partner for $3/month and get two extra podcasts a month - an uncut interview and a deep dive into movies from the 80s and 90s.

Jan 27, 2021 • 35min
54: Where Did Jason Go From Here?
Every month we are going to bring you stories of every day people who listen to the show and are working out what to do with what they learn here. Today, we meet Jason. He's from California but lives in Melbourne with his wife and family, and he's a chaplain at a Christian school. He tells us about: his youth group years life at a conservative Bible college the transition into adulthood in Australia and how he's learning to listen and develop empathy for people who aren't like him Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter Partner with us for $3/month and hear our newest episode of The Jess & Devi Show as we watch movies from our teens. First up, we watch and discuss 10 Things I Hate About You. Does it still hold up? What did it get right? What did it get wrong? This is exclusive for Partners of the show. Full show notes here

Jan 20, 2021 • 51min
53: What Makes Sex Good with Dr. Celeste Holbrook
Consider this your private appointment with a sex educator to find out all the details you missed out on about s-e-x. Dr. Celeste Holbrook joins us to talk about spontaneous and responsive arousal, sexual pivoting, and some basics around communication when it comes to sex. This is a conversation for grown ups only, and for people who are ready to have better sex now. Full show notes here Join our community as a partner to hear unedited episodes and The Jess & Devi Show for $3/month Talk to us on Instagram and Twitter Dr. Celeste Holbrook is a sexologist and speaker who helps her clients evolve into the women they were created to be, in and outside of the bedroom. She speaks on a variety of topics from sex drive and sexual shame to painful intercourse, purity culture and more. Her mission is to provide safe spaces for people to talk about sex Dr. Celeste has been featured in Women’s Health Magazine, Mothers of Preschoolers, Reader's Digest and more. Connect with Dr. Celeste on Instagram

Jan 13, 2021 • 52min
52: Parenting and Re-parenting Without Sexual Shame with Dr. Tina Schermer Sellers
It's not ONE sex talk, it's one hundred one-minute conversations about sexuality, intimacy, and body curiosity. Ever wondered how to parent your kids in a way that celebrates their sexuality instead of fearing it? THIS is the one you've been waiting for as we welcome Dr. Tina to our show. She brings a wealth of wisdom and practical advice drawing from over 30 years of experience in sexual health, therapy, and education. Not a parent? Maybe you've been wondering how to reparent yourself from the years you spent in Purity Culture - this conversation is for you too. Learn how to have compassion for your younger self and walk forward embracing the gift of your body, your curiosity, and your sexuality. Show notes here (loads of great info from Dr. Tina and more) To hear our full, uncut interview with Dr. Tina partner with us for $3/month - you'll get access to our full library of uncut interviews and more. Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD, LMFT, CSTS is a licensed sex and gender feminist psychotherapist, writer, researcher, supervisor, and public figure whose expertise spans sex therapy, spiritual intimacy, medicine, parenting, and social justice. Dr. Sellers' book Sex, God, & the Conservative Church – Erasing Shame from Sexual Intimacy has had a global impact exposing the damage of sexual shame. Now she speaks throughout the world on how to heal, and how to raise shame-free relationally confident children. Connect with her on Instagram @drtinashameless Write us a review: Apple Podcasts

Jan 6, 2021 • 49min
51: Ravi Zacharias Update, Love Actually and More!
We start 2021 off with a letter from our mailbag, personal news, and a look at the recent report from Miller & Martin regarding the firm's investigation into allegations of sexual misconduct against Ravi Zacharias. The news is bad. Do Christians like Tim Tebow, Louie Giglio, and Christine Caine who publicly said #thankyouRavi owe his victims an apology? We also look back at the heartwarming Christmas movie Love, Actually to see if it holds up, actually. Full show notes here Don't forget to write us a review in iTunes Talk to us on Twitter and Instagram

Dec 21, 2020 • 47min
50: Say goodbye to those "heroes"
Ravi Zacharias. John Crist. Carl Lentz. It hasn't been a good year for famous Christians, specifically as it relates to sex. Today we revisit one of our most-downloaded conversations from 2020, but we add in a conversation about Carl Lentz, the celebrity pastor of Hillsong Church NYC fired for having an affair. Do we need Christian celebrities? We say no. An important note: After we recorded this episode, RZIM released a statement revealing the truthfulness of the allegations of sexual misconduct (their words) against Ravi Zacharias. We don't cover the latest news in this episode, but we encourage you to read the latest statement. December 31 is the last day to sign up for the Ladies Night Book Club! Zoom 1 is on January 7, and we can't wait to talk to you. Full Show Notes Here Continue talking to us on Instagram and Twitter

Dec 21, 2020 • 43min
49: Sex and Agency
Waiting for permission? You're not the only one... Listen in to this remix of Devi's conversation with sex therapist and author, Sheila Gregoire - our guest on the episode Sex is for Wives too. We update our debrief on Sheila's profound insights and take the conversation further discussing individual agency around major life decisions such as sexual ethics. Join the Ladies Night Book Club here Full show notes here

Dec 16, 2020 • 57min
48: When You're Alone For The Holidays
Christmas is a time for romance, or so the Hallmark movies go. What do we do when we're alone during the holidays? And what about 2020 the year when there may be no gatherings because of Covid-19? We gathered three single women together who are all in different stages of their lives, homeowners, living with parents, living on their own, to talk about what single life is like during the holidays. For those of you who are single, we hope this helps you know that you're not alone. For those of you who are partnered, let this grow empathy in you for what you're single friends are experiencing. Full show notes here Join the Ladies Night Book Club for $9/month. We start reading Beyond Shame by Matthias Roberts on January 1!

Dec 9, 2020 • 49min
47: Finding Common Ground on Sex, family, & Faith
Join our January Book Club for $9/month In January we start reading Beyond Shame by Matthias Roberts, so we remixed our last conversation with him for you today. With the wisdom and compassion of a therapist, Matthias talks to us about the building blocks of healthy sexuality. Jess & Devi round out the conversation by talking about how we can find common ground with people with whom we might disagree. Why does this common ground matter? Why do we need to address our own intellectual insecurities? Listen in to find out. Join our conversations on Instagram & Twitter Full episode show notes here Matthias Roberts is author of Beyond Shame: Creating a Healthy Sex Life on Your Own Terms (Fortress, 2020) and host of Queerology: A Podcast on Belief and Being which was named as one of the “12 Best LGBTQ+ Podcasts of 2020” by O: The Oprah Magazine and the #1 Podcast to Listen to on National Coming Out Day by Radio.com. He holds two master’s degrees, one in theology and culture and one in counseling psychology from The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. In his psychotherapy practice, Matthias specializes in helping LGBTQ+ teens and adults live confident and fulfilling lives. He writes and speaks often about the intersections between gender, sexuality, mental health, and theology. Connect with Matthias on Instagram & Twitter Join our January Book Club for $9/month