Where Do We Go From Here?

A candid Q&A covering deconstruction, purity culture, and how those histories shaped sex and relationships. She talks creative burnout, documentary filmmaking, and why she removed a film from public view. Parenting choices around consent and body safety for young twins get frank attention. There is also a look at Patreon, monetisation, and handing a long-running project to new stewardship.

In this episode of Where Do We Go From Here?, Jess sits down with Erin Moon, writer, podcaster, and author of I've Got Questions, for a deeply honest conversation about purity culture, faith deconstruction, curiosity, and what it looks like to stay tethered to God while letting certainty fall away. Erin reflects on growing up fully immersed in evangelical purity culture, including the long-term impact it had on her body, marriage, and sense of self. She shares candidly about why deconstructing purity culture can take decades, how shame keeps so many people silent, and why asking questions is not a failure of faith but an expression of it. Together, Jess and Erin explore why curiosity was discouraged in many evangelical spaces, how political power and Christian nationalism accelerated Erin's own deconstruction, and what it means to be "suspicious of certainty" while still loving scripture. Erin also discusses her work as Resident Bible Scholar on Faith Adjacent, the shift from The Bible Binge, and why humour, humility, and community matter when navigating heavy theological terrain. This episode is for anyone who feels unmoored by faith questions, is re-examining purity culture, or is trying to stay connected to God without suppressing their doubts. It's also for parents, partners, and loved ones who want to better understand the deconstruction journeys happening around them. In this episode, we cover: Growing up "all in" on purity culture and its long-term effects Why sexual shame doesn't magically disappear after marriage How asking questions can deepen faith rather than destroy it The role of politics and power in evangelical disillusionment Being curious without demanding certainty Reading scripture with humility and openness Why community matters, both online and in real life Erin's book I've Got Questions and the companion guided journal Resources & Links: Erin Moon's website: https://www.erinhmoon.com I've Got Questions by Erin Moon: https://www.erinhmoon.com/book I've Got Questions: Guided Journal: https://www.erinhmoon.com/journal Faith Adjacent podcast: https://faithadjacentpod.com If you've ever felt afraid to ask questions about faith, sexuality, scripture, or God, this conversation offers permission, honesty, and hope.

What happens when algorithms profit from our outrage? In this episode of No Hard Feelings, Jess is joined by Emily and Kristen to unpack a piece of viral rage bait that sparked intense online reactions around dating, loneliness, and gender. Using a widely shared clip from a Diary of a CEOinterview as a case study, the hosts slow the conversation down and ask a different set of questions. Rather than reacting, blaming, or feeding the algorithm, they practice what they call their No Hard Feelings muscle: noticing emotional responses without immediately responding fact-checking claims and statistics zooming out to full context questioning binaries like men vs women, single vs partnered and sitting with nuance instead of certainty The conversation explores how statistics can be used as authority without accountability, how loneliness is often conflated with relationship status, and why phrases like "childless women" are emotionally loaded and culturally shaming. The hosts challenge the idea that romantic partnership is the primary solution to loneliness and ask whether community, friendship, and social structures deserve more attention. They also examine how social media incentives reward division, why rage bait spreads so effectively, and how engagement itself becomes a vote for more of the same content. Along the way, they discuss dating apps, emotional labour, shifting gender expectations, declining birth rates, and the difference between correlation and causation when it comes to health outcomes and relationships. This episode is not about defending or cancelling anyone. It's about learning how to engage thoughtfully in a culture that thrives on outrage, and asking what kind of social, economic, and relational conditions actually make connection feel safe and chosen. If you've ever felt angry, defensive, or exhausted after watching a viral clip about dating or gender, this episode invites you to pause, breathe, and think again.

Sara Moslener, a lecturer, scholar in religion, and author of 'After Purity,' delves into the intertwining of evangelical purity culture with nationalism, race, and gender. She unveils how purity culture was rooted in power dynamics, equating obedience with moral authority. The discussion highlights the hyper-sexualization of girls within the innocence myth, exposing the political and racial machinations of such ideologies. Moslener also critiques white feminism's limits in addressing these issues and emphasizes the need for comprehensive healing from purity culture's impacts.

In this episode of Thoughts & Prayers, Jess and EDJ reflect on the year that's been and wade into some of the most tender questions facing Christians who are rethinking faith, sex, and dating after purity culture. Drawing from listener submissions and Christian Reddit threads, they explore what happens when the old rules no longer work. How do you choose a partner without a checklist? What does consent look like in Christian dating? Is celibacy still meaningful if it's chosen freely rather than enforced by shame? And how do you stay anchored in faith while deconstructing long-held beliefs? The conversation moves between personal stories, cultural critique, and pastoral honesty. Jess and EDJ unpack how purity culture shaped women's bodies, desire, and self-worth, including the overlap between sexual repression and diet culture, modesty, and shrinking oneself to feel "safe." They talk candidly about dating privilege, power dynamics in church spaces, and why "waiting for the right one" can sometimes be a way of avoiding real connection. The episode also addresses grief and solidarity in the wake of violence, reflecting on the Bondi attack and the courage and humanity displayed in its aftermath. As always, Thoughts & Prayers closes with a communal prayer, holding space for listeners wherever they find themselves on their faith journey. This episode is for anyone navigating Christian dating after purity culture, wrestling with deconstruction without wanting to lose their faith, or trying to rebuild a sexual ethic rooted in consent, agency, and love rather than fear. Topics include: Christian dating after purity culture Consent, agency, and sexual ethics Celibacy as choice vs obligation Deconstruction without deconversion Dating privilege and power in church spaces Purity culture, diet culture, and women's bodies Faith, grief, and communal prayer

This Christmas Eve, we're unwrapping a special gift for everyone. Normally, our Rom-Com Recaps are exclusive to our Patreon partners, but for December we're sharing this one on the main feed as a thank-you and a holiday treat. In this episode, Jess is joined by Bri from our Patreon community to recap and unpack Happiest Season. The 2020 holiday rom-com starring Kristen Stewart and Mackenzie Davis set out to be a festive queer love story, but left many viewers divided. We dive into: The central relationship between Abby and Harper and why it frustrated us more than it warmed our hearts The emotional cost of closeting a partner and where consent breaks down Why Dan Levy's character delivers the most honest moment in the entire film The chemistry that arguably should have changed the ending Whether this movie was made for queer audiences or about them How family pressure, image management, and unspoken expectations shape holiday dynamics This conversation goes beyond a simple movie review. We talk honestly about coming out, family roles, emotional labour, and why "happily ever after" sometimes feels unearned. If you love rom-coms, have complicated feelings about Christmas, or have ever watched a holiday movie and thought "wait… this isn't actually okay," this episode is for you. 🎁 A Christmas gift from us to you. Enjoy. For access to the RomCom Recap of Saved! simply sign up as a free or paid member at patreon.com/wheredowegopod

Can questioning your beliefs coexist with maintaining faith? The hosts dive into the complexities of deconstruction, exploring how it can signify growth rather than loss. Jessica opens up about the implications of her past work with Joshua Harris, while Emily shares insights from Fowler's Stages of Faith, linking personal development to spiritual journeys. Kristen reflects on the emotional toll of leaving church communities, emphasizing the importance of reinterpretation and finding new foundations. Together, they grapple with what to preserve in faith amid uncertainty.

In this special interview, EDJ sits down with writer and cultural critic Anna Rollins, author of Famished, to talk about the haunting overlap between purity culture, diet culture, and the ways women learn to shrink themselves — in body, desire, and voice. With honesty and nuance, Anna speaks about her own story, the systems that shaped her, and the practices she's now reclaiming. This is an episode for anyone who grew up equating holiness with self-erasure, or who has ever sensed that controlling the body is often a proxy for controlling sexuality, worthiness, and belonging. In this conversation, we explore: ✨ The shared logic between purity culture and diet culture — and why both teach women that their bodies are a threat ✨ How thinness, obedience, and "good girl" energy become spiritualised ✨ Anna's journey through disordered eating and recovery ✨ Why evangelical spaces often reward self-denial but punish desire ✨ The shame-fear cycle that forms when food, sex, and worth collapse into each other ✨ How Anna rebuilt a relationship with her body, appetite, and autonomy ✨ The theological stories that keep harmful systems alive — and the better ones that can replace them EDJ and Anna also dig into the deeper question this podcast always circles back to: What happens when we stop starving ourselves — physically, spiritually, and emotionally — and start living as whole people? ⚠️ Content warning: This episode includes discussion of diet culture, disordered eating, and a reference to sexual assault. Take care of yourself as you listen.

In Part 4 of our On Premarital Sex series, Jess and Devi wrap up the conversations that have taken over your DMs and headphones all month long. After exploring progressive sexual ethics with Mathias Roberts, vocational celibacy with Peter Valk and Dr. Dani Treweek, and abstinence as a chosen path, this final episode brings everything together. This is the debrief: ✨ What the history of contraception has to do with Christian sexual ethics today ✨ Why the church's teachings rarely match the actual behaviour of Christians ✨ Staggering data on premarital sex among churchgoing Christians ✨ How purity culture still shapes even our "deconstructed" ethics ✨ Why a one-size-fits-all sexual ethic has never really existed ✨ How listeners describe their experiences of pressure, shame, freedom, and discernment Jess shares vulnerably about realising she had carried old purity-culture assumptions about sex into her adult Christian life — even long after "deconstructing." Devi traces how the invention of reliable contraception changed human sexuality forever, and why these shifts make blanket church rules harder to justify. You'll also hear how the early church understood celibacy (hint: it simply meant "unmarried"), why the Reformation reshaped the entire Western view of singleness, and how modern Christians are reclaiming celibacy, abstinence, and ethical sexuality in wildly diverse ways.

In Part 3 of our most-downloaded series On Premarital Sex, Jess and Debbie return to the conversation that shaped so much of this podcast's early years: How do you make sexual decisions when you've left purity culture behind? This episode features psychotherapist and author Mathias Roberts (Beyond Shame), who helps us unpack: ✨ Why "premeditation" isn't sinful — and why preparing (with protection, consent, communication) is essential for safety and flourishing. ✨ A harm-based definition of sexual sin that moves beyond black-and-white rules. ✨ Why sex without vulnerability becomes self-serving, and how discernment matters more than behaviour policing. ✨ How purity culture taught us to ignore our bodies, and why learning your own anatomy and emotional cues is part of sexual integrity. ✨ How Christians can use discernment, agency, and self-knowledge to make decisions about sex that align with their values, not fear. ✨ Why boundaries shift in healthy relationships, and how to navigate that without shame. ✨ Listener stories on abstinence, boundary-setting, trust, and dating outside the purity-culture mindset. Jess and Debbie also speak frankly about the disconnect between what churches teach and what Christians actually do — including staggering stats showing high rates of premarital sex among regular churchgoers. This episode doesn't tell you what to do. Instead, it gives you information, tools, and frameworks to help you make thoughtful, grounded decisions — with God, community, your therapist, and your own wisdom. For more, listen to our Patreon-only episode where Jess and Debbie unpack Mathias' Four Paradoxes of Sex. Join us at wheredowegopod.com/partner