Where Do We Go From Here?

In this month's No Hard Feelings, Jessica, Emily, and Kristen take a deep dive into one of purity culture's biggest promises — that saving sex for marriage leads to better, holier, and more satisfying sex. Spoiler: the data (and lived experience) tell a different story. They explore: The "sexual prosperity gospel" and why it set so many up for shame and disappointment Sheila Wray Gregoire's landmark Great Sex Rescue study of 20,000 evangelical women The "flip-switch myth" and how lack of education and consent led to painful first experiences The 47% orgasm gap and how theology often reinforces it How purity culture erased queer people entirely — and the lasting impact of that What Christians can teach instead: consent, embodiment, mutuality, and choice A surprisingly wise bit of secular sex advice: "Don't have sex with anyone you wouldn't hand your unlocked phone to." Whether you waited for marriage or not, this episode dismantles the shame, misinformation, and silence that shaped so many of our sexual stories — and offers a better, kinder path forward. Referenced: The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Wray Gregoire The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex Dr. Camden Morgante's "Flip Switch Myth" Santification and Sexual Satisfaction: https://ematerials.ulethbridge.ca/server/api/core/bitstreams/51cab0e8-67d7-48c5-923d-543a9873ff0b/content https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2011-19407-001 Guys We F**ed* podcast

In this fun and thoughtful Where Do We Go From Here? conversation, Jessica and Devi revisit one of their favourite RomCom Recap episodes from Patreon — a deep dive into the Netflix hit Nobody Wants This, starring Kristen Bell and Adam Brody. They explore why this show hit such a cultural nerve, how it portrays the complexity of love between two people from different faiths, and what it teaches us about emotional honesty, boundaries, and belonging. From the "hot rabbi" to the spiral-inducing unanswered text, Jessica and Devi unpack how Nobody Wants This manages to make relationships feel real — messy, beautiful, and worth fighting for. If you've ever wondered what healthy love looks like after religious conditioning or purity culture, this one's for you. In this episode: Why Nobody Wants This resonates so deeply with modern audiences How pop culture is reimagining "good men" through characters like Noah The parallels between religious devotion and emotional integrity Why our culture is hungry for models of honest, emotionally mature relationships The power of female introspection in romcom storytelling Mentioned in this episode: Nobody Wants This (Netflix) Fleabag (Amazon Prime) The Faith Adjacent Podcast

In this reflective and wide-ranging Thoughts & Prayers episode, Jessica and EDJ explore the intersection of politics, faith, and deconstruction — from the rise of Christian nationalism in the U.S. to the way purity culture still shapes dating and marriage expectations today. Together, they talk about: How Christian nationalism differs between Australia and the U.S. What the Charlie Kirk controversy reveals about polarization and online discourse. Learning when to disengage from unproductive debates — and how that can be an act of wisdom, not defeat. Why waiting for "God's timing" in dating can keep women passive and disconnected from their own agency. Reflections on The Myth of Good Christian Parenting and the need to unlearn harmful discipline models. Jessica's bittersweet announcement about stepping back from Where Do We Go From Here? and what's next for the show. A closing prayer for peace, courage, and connection. ✨ Whether you're deconstructing purity culture, politics, or parenting, this episode offers grounded honesty, laughter, and a gentle invitation to keep growing. Mentioned: The Myth of Good Christian Parenting by Marissa Franks-Burt & Kelsey Kramer McGinnis April Ajoy interview episode Prayer by Dr Lisa Hancock

Guests: Marissa Franks-Burt – Instagram | Substack Kelsey Kramer McGinnis – Instagram | Substack | Writer at Christianity Today About the Episode: In this episode, EDJ sits down with Marissa Franks-Burt and Kelsey Kramer McGinnis, authors of The Myth of Good Christian Parenting: How False Promises Betrayed a Generation of Evangelical Families. Together they trace how James Dobson's Dare to Discipline shaped decades of Christian parenting and why authoritarian, fear-based models continue to echo in today's influencer culture. They explore: How "good Christian parenting" emerged from post-1970s evangelicalism Why the focus on control and obedience took hold The theology behind corporal punishment and gender hierarchy How religious parenting ideals became social media aesthetics What it looks like to move toward empathy, autonomy, and grace Trigger warning: Discussion of spanking, strict discipline, and religious trauma. Book release: The Myth of Good Christian Parenting releases October 14, 2025. Pre-order bonuses include downloadable resources making the Christian case against spanking.

April Ajoy, a content creator and author of 'Star-Spangled Jesus', dives deep into her deconstruction journey from purity culture to questioning political beliefs. She explores how Christian nationalism intertwines with evangelism and reflects on its personal impact. April shares her transformation through satire on TikTok and offers insights on global Christianity as an antidote to nationalism. Her candid discussion on gender identity with her non-binary spouse and hopes for change in faith communities make this conversation both enlightening and inspiring.

Responding to the Assassination of Charlie Kirk The assassination of Charlie Kirk has shaken Christian communities across the U.S. and beyond. In this episode of No Hard Feelings, Jess (Melbourne), Emily (Texas), and Kristen (Tennessee) sit with the grief, confusion, and deep polarization surrounding Kirk's death. Together, we ask: how do we resist letting tragedy harden us into tribalism? How do we hold the tension between condemning violence and naming the real harm of Kirk's rhetoric? And what does it mean to choose love over retaliation in an age of outrage? In this conversation, we explore: Why reactions to Kirk's death split so quickly into polarized "camps" The role of social media algorithms in fueling anger and division, with insights from Jonathan Haidt (The Coddling of the American Mind). Mark Noll's critique of evangelical anti-intellectualism in The Scandal of the Evangelical Mind. A pastoral response from Kristin Mockler Young, reminding us that empathy in the face of enmity is a supernatural calling Reflections on collective grief, generational impact, and the temptation to idolize or demonize leaders. Why stepping away from online debates and reclaiming in-person conversations might be our best path forward. This is not an easy conversation — but in No Hard Feelings fashion, we try to hold complexity, honor grief, and root ourselves in love. Sources: https://jimrigby.substack.com/p/my-prayer-today-in-a-liberal-church https://tialevings.substack.com/p/evangelicals-are-venerating-charlie https://www.straightwhiteamericanjesus.com/episodes/political-violence-before-and-after-charlie-kirks-murder/ https://www.abc.net.au/listen/programs/ladies-we-need-to-talk/misogyny-sexism-ai-ladies-we-need-to-talk/105775024 https://turningthegem.substack.com/p/one-pastors-response-to-the-effect https://www.aei.org/society-and-culture/the-unraveling-how-political-violence-reveals-americas-fraying-social-fabric/

In this special one-off reunion episode, Jessica is joined by former co-host Devi Abraham to do a kind of "Dobson autopsy." When Dr. James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, passed away last month, his legacy sparked heated debate. Was he the warm fatherly voice who helped parents raise families—or the architect of purity culture and harmful teachings? 📻 Dobson's global reach — Focus on the Family aired in 164 countries, translated into more than a dozen languages, and reached *200+ million daily listeners (Britannica, Radio Hall of Fame). 🧬 Eugenics roots — the surprising connection between Dobson's mentor Paul Popenoe, a eugenicist, and the framing of Dare to Discipline (Baptist News Global). ⏱ The 72-Hour Rule — teaching couples not to go more than three days without sex, widely critiqued as unscientific and harmful (Bare Marriage). 🏫 Purity culture & adolescence — how Preparing for Adolescence shaped generations and linked teenage sexuality to loss of faith (Dobson Family Institute blog). ✋ Masturbation — Dobson's contradictory teaching that it was "not much of an issue with God," leaving many adolescents confused (Evidence Unseen). 🪓 Corporal punishment — "Some strong-willed children absolutely demand to be spanked…" (Dare to Discipline, 1970), making spanking mainstream in Christian homes. 👉 Listen in as Jessica and Devi unpack the paradox of Dobson's life: the man who created a global empire of evangelical family teaching, and the movement that shaped—and scarred—millions. 🔗 Sources & Further Reading Encyclopaedia Britannica – Focus on the Family Radio Hall of Fame – Focus on the Family Baptist News Global – Dobson's eugenics connection Bare Marriage – Critique of the 72-Hour Rule Dobson Family Institute Blog Evidence Unseen – Biblical Ethics of Masturbation Religion Dispatches – "I Will Always Be Afraid of James Dobson" Focus on the Family – Jim Daly tribute

We're bringing back one of our most downloaded episodes of the last 5 years — and for good reason. This riveting conversation with Dr. Kristin Kobes Du Mez, author of Jesus and John Wayne, explores how white American evangelicals came to embrace a model of masculinity rooted not in Jesus, but in militarism, patriarchy, and cultural conservatism. Jess and Devi unpack how purity culture intersects with Christian nationalism and gender roles, and how evangelical ideals of "biblical masculinity" and "feminine purity" were shaped more by cultural warriors than the gospel. Plus, listeners will hear powerful voice memos from men who saw themselves in this book — and whose lives were changed by it. Why listen (again): If you've ever wondered how we got from the church youth group to Donald Trump, or if you've struggled to reconcile your faith with the gender roles you were raised with, this episode is a must-listen. What We Cover: The history behind evangelical support for Donald Trump How Christian masculinity became militarized Why "biblical manhood" and "biblical womanhood" aren't biblical The deep links between evangelicalism, nationalism, and patriarchy Why so many men found healing in Jesus and John Wayne The real impact of evangelical "enemy culture" How power, fear, and authority are used to control communities What it means to resist the us-vs-them narrative in faith communities Listener Stories Included: Throughout the episode, you'll hear from men around the world whose experiences with evangelical masculinity echo the findings in Du Mez's research. These voice memos are raw, honest, and unforgettable. Resources: Kristin Du Mez's Website Buy Jesus and John Wayne Follow Kristin on Twitter

In this month's Thoughts and Prayers episode of Where Do We Go From Here?, Jessica and EDJ reflect on some of the biggest conversations we've had together: 🎬 Shiny Happy People: Season 2 — what it reveals about evangelicalism, Christian nationalism, and the power of survivors speaking out. 📖 Danielle Taminio Henson on Speaking of Rape — redefining rape, broadening the conversation around consent, and why "agency" may be a better word than "autonomy." ✝️ A New Christian Sexual Ethic — moving away from "premarital sex is a sin" toward a consent-centred ethic for Christians today. 💍 Submission and Gender Roles — do Christians still believe in wives submitting to husbands? How purity culture and complementarianism shaped this teaching. We close with an Anglican-inspired Prayers of the People, offering space for listeners to process grief, shame, hope, and healing together. 📌 Mentioned in this episode: Wild Goose Festival (Harmony, North Carolina) where EDJ will be speaking on purity culture and sexual ethics. Patreon – Where Do We Go From Here for extended conversations, early releases, and community debriefs. Shiny Happy People on Prime Video Danielle Taminio Henson's book Speaking of Rape Instagram - @wheredowegopod Whether you're deconstructing purity culture, questioning old beliefs, or seeking a faith anchored in consent and equality, this conversation is for you.

In this episode of No Hard Feelings, Jessica, Emily, and Kristen tackle the loaded word submission in Christian culture. What did Paul really mean in Ephesians 5? How has the concept been shaped by history, purity culture, and translation choices? And is submission a word worth redeeming—or should we let it go? We explore: The Greek word kephalē (head, source, origin) and how translation choices influence theology. Historical context: Roman household codes, women's legal status, and why Paul's words may have been countercultural. Women in the early church: Phoebe (Romans 16:1–2), Priscilla (Acts 18:26), and Lydia (Acts 16:14–15) as leaders and patrons. Industrial Revolution & Victorian ideals: how cultural shifts reinforced gendered hierarchies. Modern reframing: mutual submission as respect, humility, and partnership rather than hierarchy. Contemporary concerns: #MeToo, Doug Wilson's public comments, and the church's ongoing debates about women's leadership. References & Links Margaret Mowczko on Ephesians 5 and mutual submission: https://margmowczko.com/pauls-main-point-in-eph-5_22-33/ Christianity Today on Genesis 3:16 translation debates: https://www.christianitytoday.com/2025/02/esv-update-genesis-316-gender-submission-desire-contrary-what-women-want/ John Townsend & Henry Cloud, Boundaries