Does Saving Sex for Marriage Set People Up for Better or Worse Sex? - A No Hard Feelings Chat

In this month's No Hard Feelings, Jessica, Emily, and Kristen take a deep dive into one of purity culture's biggest promises — that saving sex for marriage leads to better, holier, and more satisfying sex. Spoiler: the data (and lived experience) tell a different story.

They explore:

• The "sexual prosperity gospel" and why it set so many up for shame and disappointment

• Sheila Wray Gregoire's landmark Great Sex Rescue study of 20,000 evangelical women

• The "flip-switch myth" and how lack of education and consent led to painful first experiences

• The 47% orgasm gap and how theology often reinforces it

• How purity culture erased queer people entirely — and the lasting impact of that

• What Christians can teach instead: consent, embodiment, mutuality, and choice

• A surprisingly wise bit of secular sex advice: "Don't have sex with anyone you wouldn't hand your unlocked phone to."

Whether you waited for marriage or not, this episode dismantles the shame, misinformation, and silence that shaped so many of our sexual stories — and offers a better, kinder path forward.

Referenced:

• The Great Sex Rescue by Sheila Wray Gregoire

• The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex

• Dr. Camden Morgante's "Flip Switch Myth"

• Santification and Sexual Satisfaction:
  • https://ematerials.ulethbridge.ca/server/api/core/bitstreams/51cab0e8-67d7-48c5-923d-543a9873ff0b/content
  • https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2011-19407-001

• Guys We F**ed* podcast