Talking To Teens: Expert Tips for Parenting Teenagers

Dr. Charlan Nemeth, author of In Defense of Troublemakers, shares her decades of research on underdogs and dissenters with Andy. Turns out troublemakers have hidden superpowers that can make them top-notch critical thinkers and persuaders!Full show notesWith so much fake news flying around on social media and the internet becoming more and more politically polarizing each day, it’s easy to be worried about whether or not our teens can think for themselves. On top of online influences, teens are also susceptible to pressure from their peers in real life, who threaten to paint them as outcasts if they hold a minority opinion. With all these forces against us, raising independent thinkers with their own opinions, values, and moral codes is not easy.To make matters even more challenging, psychological studies inform us that humans are fundamentally wired to abandon our own thoughts and observations to conform to majority opinion. Not only that, but we tend to only associate with those who agree with us–keeping us from questioning our assumptions and challenging our own perspectives. If we want to raise teens with strong critical thinking skills, it might be time to teach them the value of disagreeing with others.That’s why we’re sitting down With Charlan Nemeth this week. Charlan is the author of In Defense of Troublemakers: the Power of Dissent in Life and Business, as well as a professor of psychology at the University of California Berkeley. After working as researcher and consultant specializing in influence and decision making, Charlan has become an expert on the ways dissent can be a powerful force in changing the world.In our interview, Charlan and I discuss how even one dissenter can deeply influence the way a group of people approaches an issue. We also talk about why it can be so hard for teens to present dissenting opinions to their peers, and what parents can do to raise kids who are unafraid to disagree with the majority.Why Dissent is So ValuableWhen we think of a “dissenting opinion”, we may think of someone boldly defying all odds to speak their truth, instantly changing the minds of all who hear! But as Charlan explains in the episode, the effects of dissent can be much more subtle. A dissenter isn’t necessarily going to sway everyone’s opinion...and maybe they shouldn’t. But what dissenters can do, says Charlan, is force us to think outside of the box.When someone is bold enough to defy the opinion of the surrounding herd, they push those around them to question their own reality. They aren’t going to gain everyone’s support right away, and might even find themselves an outcast. But, undeniably, they’ll have an effect on the group, says Charlan. It might not be public, or immediate, but it will rear its head sooner or later. Those who conform to the majority are likely to find themselves questioning their perspective down the line, as a result of even just one dissenting opinion!Too often kids are raised in “bubbles”, and aren’t exposed to any people with opinions that go against their own, says Charlan. Because of this, their minds narrow to only take in evidence that correlates to what they already believe. When faced with divergent opinions, they might be resistant, but will eventually find themselves liberated by the freedom to expand their own consciousness, Charlan explains. And if they open up their minds to the dissenting viewpoints of others, they’ll be open to presenting disagreeable opinions of their own later on.But for teens, exploring ideas that don’t conform to the majority is pretty hard! The social world of teenagerhood places a lot of pressure on teens to not only look, dress, and speak like everyone else–but think like them as well.Why Teens Struggle To Swim Against the CurrentHolding a minority viewpoint is hard for a lot of reasons. The first obstacle to believing something outside the majority is questioning yourself. As Charlan and I discuss in the episode, humans are undeniably inclined to trust the majority view over our own, even denying our own senses! When a group of individuals were told that their entire peer group saw a blue object as green, they chose to categorize it as green, even though objective evidence suggested otherwise.For teens, dissenting is made even more difficult by social pressures, Charlan explains. All humans fear rejection, but no one cowers from it more than the modern teen. Fighting for their place in the brutal social hierarchy of high school, teenagers are remarkably likely to side with the majority, to avoid becoming outcasts. Not only that, but teens tend to group with those who agree with them, only reinforcing the viewpoints they already hold.In the episode, Charlan and I talk about how becoming a dissenter can give kids a strong sense of independence. When they learn to challenge common perspectives, they start to understand that those who live a life of conformity often find themselves unhappy. When they find the courage to define their own beliefs, they can discover that they are capable of influencing others. They might even learn that it’s ok to be different!Raising teens who can think critically is clearly important...so how can parents help teens see the value of dissenting even when it’s difficult?Empowering Teens to Think For ThemselvesWhen it comes to teaching kids to be open minded, Charlan emphasizes the importance of coming from a place of understanding, not authority. She believes that modelling, instead of preaching, is the key to helping kids shed their fear of voicing minority views. Telling kids to think critically is not going to get you anywhere. Instead, Charlan encourages you to show your kid, through action, how valuable it is to challenge majority opinions.Interestingly, she suggests notifying kids when you find yourself at odds with the perspective their friends’ keep. Peer groups tend to keep kids rooted in one mindset, so parents can play an essential role in pushing kids to think differently, says Charlan. She stresses the importance of understanding that your kid will likely not agree with you. They are their own individuals, with unique experiences and values that may not align with yours. Instead of being heavy-handed, Charlan advises encouraging them to come to their own judgements. This models open-minded behavior!In the end, Charlan believes what really matters is empowering kids to be their authentic selves. While dissent can be provocative, it rarely causes any ripples if those dissenting aren’t coming from a place of honesty. Beyond just rocking the boat, teaching kids to speak their truth is what will help them to really change the world. As a parent, being unafraid to express your honest opinions with your child will not only help them question their own perspective , but shows them that they don’t have to be afraid to see things differently.In the Episode…Charlan and I discuss a broad range of interesting research in this week’s episode! In addition to the topics above, we also cover:How consistency makes us more persuasiveWhat Ruth Bader Ginsburg can teach us about authenticityHow you can apply the concept of “late compromise” in an argumentWhy you should share stories from your own adolescence with your kidsAlthough it’s hard to raise teens who think critically, Charlan’s advice can show us where to start! I had a blast...

Ellen Hendriksen, author of How to Be Yourself, clues us in on what might be triggering your teen’s anxiety and perfectionism--and what you can do to help them overcome those and feel comfortable being themselves!Full show notesThe high school social atmosphere is pretty terrifying. You might remember the feeling of your heart beating against your chest as you asked a table full of kids if you could sit with them, or the way you got tongue tied trying to talk to your crush in the hallway. As stressful as it is, it tends to pass in time as kids mature. For many teens, this is just a part of growing up.But for some, social anxiety is a major challenge that keeps them from finding friends and blossoming into confident adults. Too often, these teens let their social anxiety rule their lives. They flee any kind of challenging social interaction, falling into a pattern of avoidance. They never learn to challenge their fears and live in their comfort zones.Today, we’re talking to a social anxiety expert to learn how we can help teens break this cycle. Our guest is Dr. Ellen Hendriksen, author of How to be Yourself: Silence your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety. Dr. Hendriksen is a clinical psychologist and faculty member at the Boston University Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders. She’s also the original host of the Savvy Psychologist podcast, which has been downloaded over 15 million times on Itunes.Dr. Hendriksen has spent years studying social anxiety, and she’s here to share all her expert knowledge with you today. In our interview, we cover what’s really going on in teen’s heads when they’re overwhelmed by social situations. We also get into all the wrong ways teens try to deal with social anxiety, and break down healthier methods for teens to shed the inhibitions that hold them back.The Psychology of Social AnxietyWe all know what social anxiety feels like. But what’s going on in our brains when we’re getting butterflies in our stomach? And how is a socially anxious teenage mind different from that of an adult ? Ellen and I discuss how teenagers have prefrontal cortexes that have yet to fully develop, meaning their rationality can sometimes be lacking. Stressful social situations are instead processed in their amygdala, a part of the brain that regulates emotion. This means that teens are prone to think that a slight social mess-up is a life-ruining disaster.Dr. Hendriksen clarifies the difference between someone with a healthy amount of nerves and someone who might have an anxiety disorder. If social anxiety is a metaphorical fire, she describes the brain’s healthy response as “sending a fire truck” to put it out. For those who are more prone to being overcome with anxiety, she compares the brain’s response as a “man with a bicycle and a bucket of water.” It still works, it’s just slower. These people take more time to calm their nerves and find themselves seriously shook when they feel socially inept.Interestingly, Ellen goes on to explain how social anxiety is really a fear of being “revealed.” Those who grapple with heavy anxiety over talking to strangers or being vulnerable with others often believe that there’s something about them that is wrong or insufficient. Of course, this isn’t true, but it can certainly feel true! For a lot of teens, this feeling is linked to their appearance–maybe they’re self-conscious about their acne or compare their body to those of their peers. In our interview, Dr. Hendriksen and I discuss other ways teens tend to be insecure and how this causes them difficulty in social situations.So how can we help teens who let their social anxiety run their lives? Before we can talk about what we should do, Ellen explains behavior that we shouldn’t encourage, like avoidance, perfectionism, and what she calls “safety behaviors.”How Not to Handle Social AnxietyThere are a lot of ways that teens tend to cope with social anxiety that only lead them further down an anxious rabbit hole. The most typical behavior, Ellen says, is avoidance. When situations make teenagers anxious, the quickest and most rewarding solution is to just get out of there. Dr. Hendriksen explains how this only leads to more anxiety down the line, as teens never learn how to deal with the triggers they’re faced with everyday.In addition, some people develop “safety behaviors”, or methods of shielding themselves from their anxieties. For a lot of socially anxious teens, walking around with headphones is a common safety behavior–it restricts them from talking to anyone, and, in their minds, saves them from embarrassing themselves. However, this behavior only keeps them from making any new friends at all, and in fact sends the message that they’re uninterested in anyone, leaving them to remain on the outskirts.Another problematic tendency teens adopt to try and remedy their anxiety is perfectionism, says Dr. Hendriksen. In order to try and become less insecure, they set certain labels or goals they want to reach. They adopt an attitude of all or nothing–they have to be the prettiest, the funniest, and the coolest, or they’re not worthy of having friends at all. But then they find themselves feeling ashamed when they can’t meet their own standards, says Ellen. And when they feel bad, they strive for their high standards to “fix” themselves, only to fall into a cycle.If these mechanisms only lead to disaster, what can we do to help kids beat their anxiety for the long term?Healthy Ways to Work on Social StressThankfully, Dr. Hendriksen has plenty of methods for dealing with social anxiety that are actually effective . One very powerful practice is cognitive restructuring. This entails challenging the natural, irrational assumptions of an anxious brain. Those with social anxiety might assume that talking to strangers will go horribly wrong, that they’ll be called names and the whole world will explode.The first step of cognitive restructuring is narrowing down what it is you’re afraid of. Anxiety tends to be vague, Ellen explains. Teens might have generalized fears of public speaking, but what is it exactly that they fear will happen?Let’s say your teen afraid that the whole crowd will laugh at them. The next step, says Dr. Hendriksen, is to help them evaluate just how statistically likely it is that their fear will occur. Have people laughed at them during a speech before? How often does that really happen? And if they still think their fear is likely to unfold in front of them, have them ask themselves how bad it would be if their fear did come true. Yes, they would be embarrassed, but chances are, the people in the room would forget about their speech by the next day and life would go on as normal.In addition to cognitive restructuring, Dr. Hendriksen emphasizes the importance of breaking the cycle of avoidance. Teens need to breach their comfort zones, she says, in order to truly leave their anxiety in the dust. When they face their fears, their brains gather data to understand just how greatly they overestimated the danger. They can dive back in with less fear when they’re challenged again. For socially anxious teens, going up to a group of strangers might seem like the most frightening thing in the world, but it will give them the courage to be confident the next time around.In the Episode…..El...

Dr. Michele Borba, author of Thrivers and Unselfie, offers up research-based ways to help teens thrive. We’ll delve into some of the seven key traits parents can teach their teen to set them up for success.Full show notesWe would do anything for our kids to be successful. That’s why we sign them up for SAT prep classes, make sure they practice piano every day and watch their report cards like hawks. If they can get good test scores they can go to a good college, then get a job with benefits until hopefully they don’t need us at all anymore! So long as we ensure their meeting the marks academically, we’re giving them everything they could ever need...right?Well, not quite. When we look at the research, we find that kids with the highest grades aren’t necessarily the most successful. Those deemed “gifted” don’t always become lawyers and CEOs if they don’t know how to work hard or persevere through adversity. In fact, when interviewed, kids in generation Z often feel like they’ve just been brought up as a product to fulfill certain standards–not as a well rounded human being.How can we raise kids to not just fit the bill of academic perfection, but actually find lasting success and happiness? In other words, how can we help them thrive? Our guest today, Michele Borba is here to answer that very question. She’s the author of Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine. After conducting years of research, she's discovered the key traits of the world’s most prosperous people. She’s here today to tell parents how they can pass along the recipe for a bountiful and fulfilling life to their kids.In our interview, she explains how you can guide teens to discover their core assets to ensure they’re on the pathway to prosperity. We also discuss how you can instill strong values in your teen and why it’s important for teens to have a high level of agency in their everyday lives.Helping Your Teen Find their Super PowerAs a parent, it’s easy to fall into a cycle of trying to correct a kid's faults instead of encouraging them to pursue their strengths. We want kids to be their best selves, but sometimes hyper fixating on their problems can be much less helpful than cheering on their natural gifts. Later in life when they’re trying to pick a college or a career, they’ll find themselves drowning in strength assessments or find themselves in an interview, being asked what they do best, says Michele. If we don’t help them discover their abilities, they won’t even know where to start!Michele encourages parents to help kids identify their core assets, or their most prominent passions and skills. She suggests that parents sit down and ask themselves: what do my kids do well? What do I see them prioritizing frequently? Where are they naturally inclined? You might find the answer lies in a hobby. While some think of hobbies as mere distractions, Michele believes they’re extremely powerful in allowing kids to discover themselves. Hobbies help teens develop perseverance, and challenge them to strive for improvement.When you do figure out what it is that your kids do best, Michele advises against giving them trophies and accolades. These things only lead to self absorption, she says. Instead, she suggests simply acknowledging how skilled or talented they are, giving them an extra boost of confidence. Although you may not see it, your encouragement means a lot. With some kind words from you, they’ll feel ready to take on the world, says Michele.Along with giving them the confidence to succeed, Michele emphasizes the importance of passing down values to your kids. When you’re not around, these guiding principles will help kids get themselves out of sticky situations and lead their best lives.Instilling Strong Values in TeensHelping teens develop strong values comes down to how you talk to them when they behave badly, says Michele. When kids are acting up, it can be easy to just tell them to knock it off and leave it at that. But Michele proposes linking your scolding with a positive value. Instead of just calling your kid a trouble-maker and imparting punitive measures, Michele recommends guiding kids to examine what their less-than-stellar behavior might say about the content of their character.Michele lays out some steps you can take when encouraging your teen to think through their actions, which she calls “name, frame, and reclaim.” It starts by defining what you stand for as a parent, what lines you won’t allow kids to cross. Then, when kids do cross the line, she says call them on it, and name exactly how they’ve violated your family’s principles. Michele emphasizes the value of demonstrating to kids why their actions are wrong, and then giving them the power to explain how they’ll handle the situation differently next time.This method leads kids to internalize a value system, explains Michele. This is more important than reminding teens of whatever rule they broke, as these principles are what will stick with them as they move through life, Michele says. When challenged by forces like peer pressure, kids will have a code of ethics to keep them from falling into bad situations. In the episode, Michele and I discuss how important it can be to be repetitive about these values, to make sure they really stick in kids’ heads.Beyond just skills and values, kids need to develop some independence before they’re out on their own. If they’re thrown into life without having a sense of self sufficiency, they may come crawling back to the nest. In the episode, Michele and I detail how you can help kids find agency, even while they’re still living under your roof.Fostering a Sense of AgencyMichele believes teens who have an attitude of self sufficiency are headed for brighter futures. Teenagers who think parents or teachers will pick up their slack and solve their problems are not likely to find themselves on the path to success any time soon, says Michele. That being said, it isn’t easy to raise teens who can always fend for themselves.There’s a fine line between imbuing independence and leaving teens to the wolves.If you want to raise empowered teens, Michele says to start small. Start with the basics. Maybe they can start by taking care of the dog all on their own. Show kids what to do, giving them constructive criticism, Michele says. She recommends slowly building to bigger steps, like letting them stay at home with the dog alone on the weekend. The goal, Michele explains, is to stretch kids like a rubber band, gradually giving them the practice they need to expand their abilities over time.If kids mess up along the way, that’s ok too. In the episode, Michele and I talk about how essential it is that we allow kids to fail. Kids who are comfortable failing are comfortable taking risks and thinking outside the box, meaning they’re ready to deliver innovative ideas and find creative solutions for the world’s most pressing problems.In the Episode….We’ve only scratched the surface of all the amazing content in this interview. Michele was a joy to have as a guest this week and had so much to teach us! We also talk about:How kids exhibit different kinds of empathyWhy goal-setting is essential to successHow we can help teens work through pessimistic thoughtsWhy the stress generation z feels is different than any other generationIt was so much fun...

Dr. Ilyasah Shabazz, author of The Awakening of Malcolm X, joins us for a talk on race, history, and the power of learning. Teaching our teens to live justly starts with a strong family foundation.Full show notesUnless you and your teen live under a rock, your child has probably been exposed to a lot of discourse about racism this past year. Sparked by the killing of George Floyd, the world erupted in protests and outcries for equality this summer–and the world has never been the same.With the video of the tragic murder available online amongst plenty of other intense dialogue about race, you might be wondering how you can talk to your kids about it all. You may feel like you don’t know how to approach the topic, or don’t feel like you can do an adequate job covering the vast history of racial inequality and all of its nuances.If you don’t know where to start, it can be powerful to give your kid some reading material. Books can help teens learn about these issues from an expert, and then the two of you can then have a discussion about it. Need a text that feels right for an adolescent? Our guest today has got you covered. Her name is Ilyasah Shabazz, and she’s the author of The Awakening of Malcolm X: A Novel.Ilyasah is the daughter of human rights activists Malcom X and Betty Shabazz, and does incredible work as an educator, author, motivational speaker and activist. In this new book, she’s describing the pivotal period of Malcom X’s young life, when he was imprisoned for 6 years and began to see the world differently. In telling Malcom’s story, she hopes to give young people the guidance they need to handle life’s trials and follow their vision for a brighter future.In our interview, we’re covering some critical moments in Malcolm X’s youth. We’re discussing how educators can shed more light on the contributions of black and indigenous people throughout history, and why we need reform in our criminal justice system.What Malcom X’s Story Can Teach Us About AdolescenceIlyasah breaks down her father’s childhood in this episode, to help us understand how he became the revolutionary he was. Malcom was raised by two civil rights activists, who lived through the height of Jim Crow. They instilled in him a respect and love for literature, learning, humanity, and living creatures, Ilyasah says. Despite his father’s murder and his mother being institutionalized, Malcolm’s leadership skills were always clear. He was voted class president in the seventh grade even after losing his family, his home, and everything he once knew.After being arrested for grand larceny in 1946, Malcom served six years in jail. He stayed at the brutal and unforgiving Concord Reformatory with many other disadvantaged black and brown folks. He later transferred to the experimental Norfolk prison colony, where he was on a debate team. While a part of the colony, he went toe to toe in debates with students from MIT and Harvard, which shaped his intellectual capacity. He had access to an extensive library of books, which he read profusely, learning about everything under the sun.These books taught Malcom incredible lessons about the history of black civilization. He learned that black people had an incredibly rich past, with important contributions to astronomy, architecture, literature and more. He began to realize that the way black citizens had been taught to see themselves was all wrong. And so, instead of staying at this prison that was much kinder to him, he went back to the Concord Reformatory to teach the brown and black folks that they came from a robust tradition of intelligence and invention.In the episode, Ilyasah and I talk about how important it was for Malcom to educate himself and others, and how you can educate your own children and the people around you. In fact, we talk about education quite a bit–like how our schooling system has some serious flaws in how it depicts people of color throughout history.Inclusive EducationIlyasah believes that education is the most effective tool for eradicating injustice! In the same way that Malcom brought knowledge to the inmates, Ilyasah and I discuss the importance of changing the narrative of our education system to truly teach young folks the history of black and indigenous people.In the episode, Ilyasah explains how black stories are omitted from our history classes. Textbooks rarely paint people of color as being iconoclasts, thinkers, scholars. In reality, there have been many brilliant black individuals throughout history who changed the world. We also rarely discuss the contributions of ancient black civilizations in the classroom. It’s simply expected that students will learn about the Roman empire and ancient Greece, but the vast wisdom and invention that came from the African people is almost never mentioned.Ilyasah goes on to talk about how learning about the hard parts of being a black person in United States History can help students understand the need for reparations in the black community. And these difficulties are far from over. One of the biggest ways people of color are marginalized in the United States is within the criminal justice system.Why We Need to Talk About the U.S. Prison SystemThree million black and brown people are in prison today, just like Malcom once was. Not only that, but 80 billion tax dollars are spent on average every year on correctional facilities–money that could be spent on creating programs for young people to keep them out of these correctional facilities, says Ilyasah.The issue is only growing, which is why we need to pay attention. Ilyasah recalls when she was younger and there were tons of tax-funded after school programs and even an after school TV show that existed to keep inner city kids safe and out of trouble. Now, she says these have been cut and the money redirected towards prisons.When Malcom educated other prisoners at the correctional facility during his youth, he was seeing them as more than just inmates. He understood that they were all unique, individual people. That’s what Ilyasah says we must do if we want to transform our prison system: see the humanity of incarcerated individuals.Although TV and movies might make prisoners out to be scary thugs, in reality they are scared people, placed into conditions which are nearly impossible to survive. Not to mention that people of color are disproportionately targeted, meaning most of these folks have been victims of racist justice system.If we take the time to educate ourselves and live with compassion, we can help fight against the prejudices of the world. As Ilayash says we can’t wait for the world to change; we must change it ourselves.In the Episode...Ilayash’s powerful vision for a better world makes for an incredibly engaging and educational episode this week. In addition to the topics mentioned above, we discuss:How to talk about race--no matter who you areWhat teens can learn from Malcom’s persistenceWhy the summer of 2020 was so powerful for civil rightsWhat we say when it comes to educating our kids about prejudiceAlthough we’ve made progress towards equality, there’s still so much work to do. Thanks so much for listening. Don’t forget to share and subscribe and we’ll see you next week!

Cara Natterson, author of Decoding Boys, shares her insights into raising boys--from silent phases, to gaming, to late bloomers, to pornography use, as a pediatrician Cara has seen it all!Full show notesWe think we know how puberty works. Kids grow hair everywhere, wake up 2 feet taller than the night before, and suddenly start wanting to go on dates to the mall without any supervision! But there’s actually a lot to puberty that most parents don’t know about. Did you know, for example, that puberty can begin as early as age seven in some girls? Or that male puberty is almost totally contained to testicular growth for the first few months or even years?If we don’t properly learn about puberty, we can’t teach our kids what they need to know. During this confusing period, teens can use all the help they can get. By making an effort to really understand all the ins and outs of puberty, we can give them the tools to get through adolescence and out to the other side.Our guest this week, Cara Natterson, is here to clue us into all the latest research about coming of age. She’s a pediatrician, consultant, speaker, and bestselling author of multiple books on parenting and health! Her latest book is titled Decoding Boys: New Science Behind the Subtle Art of Raising Sons. This book sheds light on tons of misconceptions about puberty, especially for young men.Cara drops all sorts of fascinating facts and helpful tips in today’s episode. She explains why some teens go quiet during puberty, and how you can break through this barrier to connect with them. We also discuss how puberty starts much earlier than we usually think, and get into the psychology behind why teens act impulsively.Breaking Through to Silent TeensOne day, our kids are telling us everything, and the next, they’re totally shutting us out. Many kids enter puberty and become totally guarded, feeling like they can’t open up to anyone about all the changes they are experiencing. Oftentimes, parents think they should reciprocate this distance, and just let teens ride it out on their own. However, Cara advises parents to do the opposite.According to Cara, letting teens drift too far away sends them the message that you aren’t interested in hearing about their struggles–even if you were just trying to respect their boundaries. This can be dangerous, because it allows a wall to grow between the two of you. Then, later down the line when it’s time for a serious talk about drugs, dating or sex, you may find you can’t break down the barrier that’s formed from so much silence.There’s no easy way to initiate contact with a teen who’s been avoiding you, especially when you need to discuss uncomfortable, puberty-related matters. However, if you don’t brief them on these subjects, their only sources of information will be their friends and the media–which can both be bad influences. In the episode, Cara emphasizes the power of perseverance when it comes to striking up these conversations. She breaks down why it’s valuable to have discussions about puberty early in kids’ lives, and explains about how you can talk with teens instead of at them.It’s important to have these chats early because, as Cara and I discuss, puberty starts earlier than most parents think.The True Puberty TimelineMost parents assume that the puberty process begins around age thirteen or fourteen. They believe this because this is when they witness kids starting growth spurts, periods, and hairy armpits. But Cara busts this misconception, explaining how puberty starts around nine or ten for boys and as early as seven for girls. A lot of the time we don’t notice this because we don’t physically see it happening, but their hormones and brain chemistry have already started to change.Cara explains in the episode that puberty has begun starting earlier and earlier over the past thirty to forty years. Research is still being done as to why this is, but Cara points to changes in diet and lifestyle as contributing factors. And although the timeline is starting younger, she clarifies that it still moves at the same speed. This means girls still get their periods around age twelve and boys develop deeper voices around age thirteen.One interesting topic Cara touches on is how to help a late or early bloomer through this tricky period. In the episode, Cara and I delve into the ways this delayed or accelerated growth can continue to affect people far beyond puberty. We also talk about when it’s time to see a pediatrician to check out your teen’s puberty progress, and whether or not you should allow your teen to take estrogen or testosterone to kickstart the process.As aforementioned, Puberty often starts with changes in the brain. In the episode, Cara and I get deeper into some teen psychology. We talk about addiction, and touch on why teens seem to act without rational consideration.Understanding the Teenage BrainTeenagers brains are still developing. That means that even though they often want to be treated like adults, they’ve still got a ways to go before they get there. Cara and I discuss how these developing teenage brains work differently than adult minds, and why teens are more inclined to get into trouble than grown men and women.When teens experience some kind of stimulus or face a decision, their brain sends a signal to two different parts of the brain: the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex. The limbic system is the center of the brain’s emotional thinking, while the prefrontal cortex helps individuals make rational, informed choices. For teenagers, the limbic system responds almost three thousand times faster than the brain of a fully grown adult. This means that their first impulse is always to act on their emotions, leaving rational thinking to come later.How can we keep teens from acting without logic? In the episode, Cara elaborates on some methods for teens to incorporate rational decision making into their lives. Oftentimes, the solution is as simple as breathing in and counting to ten before acting. If they can wait for the rational part of their brain to catch up, they can make wiser decisions.Cara and I also talk about how the teenage noggin is in the process of pruning it’s neural pathways., preparing for adulthood. This means that your teen’s brain is deciding which habits and patterns will be important to stick to as they move into adult life, and which one’s they should dispose of. We talk extensively in our interview about how this often leads to addiction problems or starts teens off on bad paths that they continue on for the rest of their lives.In the Episode…Cara’s extensive knowledge on puberty is life saving when it comes to understanding your teen’s experiences. In addition to the topics mentioned above, we also cover:The body image insecurities that young men faceHow to help your kids avoid peer pressure by taking the blameWhat aspects of gaming parents should be concerned aboutHow pornography effects boys’ ideas about sex and intimacyAlthough puberty is scary for teens and parents, educating ourselves can help. If you enjoyed listening to Cara speak you can find more of her work at worryproofmd.com. Don’t forget to share and subscribe! Happy listening and we’ll see you next week.

Michelle Mitchell, author of A Girl’s Guide to Puberty and A Guy’s Guide to Puberty, shares her top tips preparing young people for puberty. Rather than cringing at the awkwardness, Michelle suggests we can embrace body changes as the beautiful part of life they are!Full show notesPuberty is a pretty intense experience for both teens and parents! Kids are going through a million different changes throughout their minds and bodies, while parents watch from the sidelines and try not to get caught in the crossfire! Although the mood swings can be brutal, one of the hardest parts of parenting a kid through puberty is wondering if you gave them all the right talks to prepare them for this crazy ride.Although having the puberty talk is hard, it’s not something that can be pushed aside. If no one walks a teens through the changes their body is experiencing, they can feel isolated. They may think they’re alone in the process, without someone to turn to for advice or reassurance. But speaking with kids early and often about puberty can help them approach their adolescence with confidence instead of confusion.To understand how we can guide kids through their coming-of-age, we’re talking to Michelle Mitchell, author of both A Guys Guide to Puberty and A Girls Guide to Puberty. We’ve had Michelle on the show twice before, but her advice is so helpful that we invited her back for a third! In this interview, she’s delving into the ways parents can help kids navigate all the twists and turns that puberty brings.In the episode, Michelle and I discuss how you can have those tricky talks about the process of puberty. That includes everything from periods to pimples. We also get into how we can teach boys about the female body and vice versa.Initiating the ConversationEven if we know how important a puberty talk can be, we might not know where to start. We might even just be too embarrassed to start one up! But don't fret! Michelle is here to give us some pointers.Michelle suggests starting these talks a little earlier than you might expect–around age 8-12. In her eyes, the earlier you start helping kids understand their bodies, the better equipped they’ll be when they suddenly find themselves having crushes on boys and outgrowing all their shoes. Plus, before they develop that distinctly teenage embarrassment, they’re much more inclined to have these chats without squirming,So how do you strike up such a delicate conversation with an eight year old? Michelle says you should take your child aside and tell them that you want to have a special talk, just the two of you. She also recommends setting a specific amount of time for the talk beforehand. This helps kids feel like they aren’t entering into an endless conversation about the importance of condoms and deodorant!.Michelle details how every good puberty talk should allow kids to choose what they want to discuss and what topics are off limits. If a kid says “I don’t want to talk about this now, maybe later,” this is simply them expressing ownership of their own body, says Michelle. She believes it’s empowering for kids to be able to set these kinds of parameters. Allowing them some jurisdiction over the conversation can be a powerful experience for themIn the episode, Michelle dives deep into the changes going on in your teens’ mind as they cross into puberty. She explains that the brain is what starts to change first–which is why it makes no sense to wait for physical signs of puberty to start having a talk about it. Those physical signs, however, can be an important thing to warn teens about. Michelle and I get into how you can do so in our interview.Breaking Down Body ChangesPimples, periods, body odor, hair in places they never expected….puberty is a roller coaster ride of physical changes. If we want kids to hang on for dear life during this wild journey, we’ve got to prepare them ahead of time. Otherwise, they’ll likely feel as though they can’t reach out or like they’re the only one going through it, says Michelle. Some kids also develop a little early or a little late, and these teens might need some extra reassurance as they’re likely receiving different treatment from their peers.Michelle emphasizes the importance of assuring kids that they are totally unique in how their body goes through these changes, and that their uniqueness is powerful. They should never feel ashamed about where they are compared to their peers, and it’s valuable to remind them of that, says Michelle. In the episode, Michelle explains how you can make the physical aspects of the puberty process feel less embarrassing and more exciting.We also talk all about periods, and how you can prepare a young woman to get her first one. Michelle says most girls desperately want to know when it will arrive. She suggests reminding them that they can never quite know, but empowering them with the ability to be ready for it at any time. She recommends helping your daughter pick out a “period pack with all the important supplies, giving her the choice of what to put inside (with some guidance, of course).But what about boys? Do they need to know about periods too? Of course, says Michelle. Not only do we need to teach kids to respect their own bodies, but the bodies of other kids as well.Teaching Kids to Respect their PeersWhen kids are tying to deal with all these changes, they often cope by gossiping about other kids’ bodies or speculating about the opposite sex. But this can be disrespectful and hurtful! Michelle believes it’s important to teach kids to see the person inside the physical body and understand what they might be going through,Michelle explains how valuable it can be to give kids run down on what the opposit sex is experiencing during puberty. For boys, knowing about periods can help them be much more empathic to girls who are dealing with the confusions of starting the process. Michelle talks about how we can approach this topic with young men in the episode. For girls, learning about male functions like erections can keep them from being confused or embarrassing a classmate by pointing one out out loud in class.What Michelle really emphasizes here is helping kids develop empathy. The ability to treat others kindly and respect their personal journeys is an important lesson for life. All teens are struggling with different battles during this turbulent period of life, so teaching our kids to be polite and courteous to others going through puberty can be incredibly impactful, says Michelle.In the Episode…Along with being extremely knowledgeable, Michelle is also hilarious and lovely to talk with! This episode is full of laughs and fun stories. In addition to the topics above we also discuss:What parents can convey to kids that school can’tHow we need to talk more with kids about “bumps and lumps”Effects of changing testosterone levelsShaving as empoweringHow to get your kid to take care of their own hygienePuberty is daunting, but with Michelle’s help, we can get kids (and parents) to the other side. If you enjoyed listening today, you can check out more of Michelle’s work by going to her website. Michellemitchell.org. Don’t forget to share and subscribe, and we’ll...

Kevin Roose, author of Futureproof, speaks with us about what AI and automation means for the future of humans--and how to speak with teens to prepare them to remain relevant in the information age.Full show notesOur kids are heading into a new era–one full of self driving cars, automated grocery shopping and endless social media. They’re growing up surrounded by technology, and these gizmos and gadgets only become more prevalent every year. It’s nice to imagine a future where robots do all the work and we humans sit back with our feet up–but it’s also scary to imagine a world so controlled by computers that our kids might just lose their humanity!It’s understandable to be worried about your teen coming of age in this environment. They’re entering a job market where employment opportunities are slowly being eradicated by automation. People like travel agents and bankers have been forced to watch as their jobs are taken by iphone apps and digital kiosks.Not only that, but the constant digital stimulation of iPhones, laptops and tablets is rearranging teens’ brains on a molecular level, inhibiting their social skills, productivity and sense of reality! It’s frightening how much control technology has over all of us, especially growing teens. So how can we prepare young people for a future full of tech and automation?Kevin Roose, our guest today, asked himself that same question a few years ago. He decided to dive into research about humanity’s growing dependence on technology, and then put his findings into a book. It’s called Futureproof: 9 Rules for Humans in the Age of Automation. In it, he reveals how the key to surviving in the world of robots is not to become more robotic ourselves but instead, become more human.In our interview, Kevin and I get into every question you might have about how AI is changing society. We address the concerns you may be having about your kid’s job prospects in this future full of automation and algorithms. He also explains how you can help teens use their phones to learn, create and connect with others instead of just scrolling mindlessly through Tik Tok.The Skills that Separate Us From RobotsWe know that automation is taking away jobs that historically belonged to humans, but surprisingly, most people seem to think their own employment is safe. When surveyed, three quarters of people said they thought that artificial intelligence would cause people to lose work, but only about a quarter thought they were at risk of losing their own job. Kevin believes we are all far too overconfident. In the episode, he explains how AI is capable of all sorts of tasks beyond what we might imagine. Even journalists and artists, he explains, are at risk of losing work to AI.So how can we prepare kids for this new job market? Some people believe we need to behave more like robots: become more efficient, logical, precise and accurate. But Kevin disagrees. He believes that to stay afloat in this brave new world, we’ll have to dive deeper into the things that make us distinctly human.When giving young people advice about what to major in to find success in the age of automation, he often tells them it doesn’t matter as much as they think. Kevin expresses how important it is for young adults to actually develop their collaboration and communication skills along with whatever craft they choose to pursue. Their mathematical expertise can easily be met by a computer, but their kindness and empathy cannot. When they find their job taken by AI, their unique human attributes will remain–and these are what will help them find their footing in the job market again.In our interview, Kevin also introduces the fascinating idea of combinatorial creativity: the ability to take knowledge and experience regarding one subject, and transfer it to another. This allows us to find innovative, outside-the-box solutions to problems. Humans are great at this, while robots are not. That’s why Kevin suggests that teens branch out to multiple interests instead of just specializing in one thing. This versatility allows them to maximize their combinatorial creativity, and use their natural intelligence in a way that AI can’t.There’s more challenges to growing up in a technology saturated world than fearing unemployment. Kevin and I also talk about why teenage obsession with screen time isn’t the healthiest, and how we can help teens make the most of technology instead of letting it dominate their lives.Taking Control of our Tech HabitsEvery day, Kevin allots sixty minutes for what he calls his “human hour.” For the entire hour, he puts his phone away and goes on a run, reads a book, or does anything else that makes him feel human. Kevin began doing this because he felt his phone was beginning to control him, and he wanted to gain that control back. He even went on a thirty day phone detox, and wrote an article about it. The article was wildly popular, causing Kevin to realize just how many people feel like their devices dictate their life.Kevin explains that this is not an accident. Companies who create the apps we use put a lot of effort toward making their products addicting. They spend billions of dollars to ensure that we get sucked in and can’t stop using. Kevin describes it as “a supercomputer pointed at your head”....and that’s what it can feel like! It’s frustrating because our devices are supposed to help us be efficient and connect with others, not make us go crazy.That’s why Kevin suggests that teens (and parents) should schedule some time away from phones to reset. He describes how, after his detox, he was more productive and social. If you can, help teens find time when they can set aside their devices and go for a walk, or play the guitar or talk to a friend. They might resist, but it can be a great way for them to break free from the grip of Netflix and Instagram and get some peace of mind.We’ll never get kids to really ditch their devices, however, Kevin and I discuss how you can help teens use their phones to be creative, network and learn new things. It’s easy to limit kids’ screen time, but Kevin thinks that’s not enough. We also need to be mindful of how they’re using their devices. Are they just staring mindlessly at the screen, playing endless games of Candy Crush? Or are they socializing with their friends, building websites and reading about current events? In our interview, Kevin points to the difference between passive use and active use, and how teens can use tech as a tool for growth.In the Episode….Kevin and I have fascinating discussions in this episode about the intersection between human and artificial intelligence. On top of the topics mentioned above, we cover:Why we can’t have a “happy symbiosis” with AIHow kids can benefit from phone-free interactionWhy a computer could never teach a kindergarten classWhat Kevin doesn’t like about the phrase “media literacy”Although a future full of tech can feel frightening, there are ways humans can remain relevant! The interview with Kevin was thought-provoking and I think listeners may find themselves thinking about how to raise kids that are future-proof.Thanks for listening, and don’t forget to share and subscribe. We’ll see you next week!

Karl Pillemer, author of Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them explains how seemingly small disagreements can grow to jeopardize relationships, and what parents of teens should know about patching up arguments and preventing permanent damage.Full Show NotesWe have arguments with our teens about little things everyday–what to have for dinner, whether they can take the car out, what they’re wearing to school that day, et, etc. And although these skirmishes can seem small, they tend to add up. Suddenly, you tell your teen to put away their shoes one day, and they’re screaming at you, saying you’re ruining their life. It’s not the shoes that have them hysterical, it’s the cumulative effect of all the little disagreements over time!Most of the time when these fights erupt, no one wants to apologize first. Distance can grow between the two of you. You become more and more certain that YOU were right and the OTHER person was acting crazy. You find other people who agree with you, and you stop questioning yourself. Then things just get worse until you find your relationship permanently damaged. In serious cases, you might even find yourself estranged from your kid. To understand how we can handle these Earth-shaking arguments with grace and prevent a deep rift from forming, we’re talking to Karl Pillemer, author of Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them.  Karl’s a sociologist who’s been researching estrangement between family members for years. He’s become acutely aware of how seemingly small disagreements can grow to jeopardize relationships.In our interview, Karl and I break down what parents of teens should know about patching up arguments and preventing permanent damage. We dive into what you should do when you and your teen have disputes over values or lifestyle choices. We also talk about what leads family members to become alienated from one another, and how you can keep your teen from shutting you out.

Ned Johnson, author of Conquering the SAT and The Self-Driven Child, joins the show a second time to share his top tips for beating any standardized test--and they are all things under a teen’s control!Full show notesThere’s no singular experience in teenage life quite like the SAT. Unlike the grueling four year academic curriculum, it occurs for only 180 minutes–and determines whether or not a teen is accepted to the school of their dreams. Needless to say, this is likely a significant cause of anxiety for you and your teen alike.A lot of programs out there promise your teen instant success at standardized tests, but in reality, performing well is much more complicated than just quick tips and tricks. Beyond simply putting in the reps, acing the ACT or SAT requires teens to understand their own thinking. It takes a serious mastery over anxiety and external pressures to keep a clear head and perform like a champion.This week we’re talking to one of the most sought after test prep professionals in the country, Ned Johnson. He runs the company PrepMatters, which helps people prepare from everything from the LSAT to the MCAT. He’s also the co-author of Conquering the SAT: How Parents Can Help Teens Overcome the Pressure and Succeed. Ned’s put in over 35,000 hours of one-on-one test prep with young adults, and has learned quite a few lessons along the way.He’s here today to share with you why he thinks standardized tests are valuable despite their flaws. These tests go beyond just words and numbers–they teach teens how to push their boundaries. Ned and I also chat about why pressuring kids to do well can often backfire, and how you can help your teen tackle performance anxiety to smash that ACT out of the park.Why Standardized Tests MatterHumans are unique and changing, while standardized tests are just that–standardized. How can one test possibly measure every person’s intelligence when we all think so differently?Ned understands why some people feel this way. Although he’s made a career out of SAT and ACT prep, he knows that there are more important things than getting a perfect score. However, he believes standardized testing can be a great way for teens to challenge their own limits. Specifically, tackling these tests makes kids understand how they can better handle high pressure situations.Ned explains how, when humans are anxious about something, the easiest solution is avoidance. It’s so much easier to just not do scary things than it is to burst through our comfort zones. For teens, taking a 180 minute test that determines their college acceptance can feel like a stressful nightmare. It can be tempting to simply opt out.But by facing tests as intense as the SAT, students learn to surmount their anxiety instead of letting it control them. If we avoid situations that make us anxious, then we’ll remain afraid forever. That fear is not going to bode well in adulthood, which is filled with confrontations, important presentations, and big meetings that can’t be ignored. By overcoming their apprehensions about these tests, teens will learn to face the pressure and be less terrified when the next frightening challenge rears its ugly head.That being said, taking on fear is easier said than done. Luckily, Ned has some advice for how to help teens work through serious nerves.How to Handle Test AnxietyTest anxiety is a pretty intense and overwhelming feeling that keeps brilliant kids from performing their best. Ned explains how teens can break this anxiety down into parts and make each part a little easier to handle. That way, kids can be cool as a cucumber when they’re face to face with those pages full of questions.To start, Ned tackles the notion of novelty, explaining how new things cause us anxiety by catching us off guard. Luckily, the SAT is pretty similar on each go around, and teens can take practice tests. Even if the questions undergo some changes, it’s pretty much the same material. The more practice tests kids can take, the less novel the real test will be.Another significant contributor to this anxiety is the potential threat to teens’ egos. For some teens, underperforming on these tests means their self esteem is on the line. This leads them to get worked up about their score and might even cause them to fumble on the big day.In the episode, Ned presents the idea of test prep therapy. This process involves asking students what in particular about the test is stressing them out, and looking for patterns in their thinking. In our interview, he explains how we can reframe these anxious thoughts to help teens overcome their apprehension.Oftentimes, kids are nervous about these tests because they’re facing a lot of scrutiny from parents. Ned breaks down how to ensure that you’re motivating your student to perform their best instead of pushing them in the wrong ways.How Parents Play a RoleNo parent wants to leave their kid in a state of distress, especially when there’s an important test on the line. However, we still want to encourage kids to do well and ensure that they’re working hard. So how can we approach the situation to give kids a boost instead of dragging them down?Ned emphasizes the danger of making kids believe they have to be successful at all costs. When parents give the impression that success is the only acceptable option, it leads teens down a bad trajectory. They often feel like they have to lie, or hide their failures. They feel they can’t be vulnerable with you, and may even cheat to achieve the perfect score you might be expecting.In fact, Ned and I discuss how there’s nothing less encouraging than telling a student that they’re not doing good enough work. The teenage brain is eager to avoid anything that makes teens feel stupid or unworthy. If this negative rhetoric becomes associated with their ACT prep, they’re not going to want to return to their practice tests again and again. They’ll likely blow the whole thing off to go do something that makes them feel instant gratification, like playing video games or watching Netflix.Instead of pressuring them, Ned explains how you can help kids believe they can achieve. Don’t tell them that there’s no option other than a perfect score. Instead, let them know that you really think they can improve their score, if they really put their mind to it. This encouragement goes a long way, and is much more nourishing than harsh expectations.Ned also discusses the value of encouraging incremental change. Telling students they need to perform perfectly right away only discourages them. Cheering them on as they bring their practice test score from 1000 to 1200 will work wonders for their confidence. When they feel empowered, they’re more likely to be determined, and will come back the next day excited to improve.In the Episode…Ned is not only extremely knowledgeable about test prep but also lovely to talk to! On top of the topics mentioned above, we chat about:Why some kids believe they’re college material and others don’tHow to turn kids into readersWhy sleep is essential to successThe neuroscience of confident test takingWe all stress about SATs and ACTs, but Ned’s advice can help! If you enjoyed listening, check out his test prep company, prepmatters.com. Don't f...

Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of Your Turn and How to Raise an Adult, brings to the show her vast knowledge of the psychology of emerging adults. How can we help our teens and 20somethings turn out well?Full show notesWhen kids leave the nest, it can be terrifying to see them go. As a parent, you may feel that your whole life has led up to this moment, and you might worry that you haven’t done enough. You want your kid to take on the world and succeed, but you worry they might come home crying and asking for their old bedroom back.As scared as you might be, the terror of leaving home is even worse for young adults themselves. Life is full of trials and tribulations, and it’s scary without someone there to hold their hand. You probably remember the fear you felt when you first left home, how unpredictable and challenging every minute was.Even though adulting is hard, we as parents can start preparing our kids now, in their teen years. If we build a solid foundation of self sufficiency, kids will be able to adapt to the curveballs that life throws their way. Our guest this week is Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of Your Turn: How to Be an Adult. The book is full of personal stories and candid advice for how to be a functional young adult.In our interview today, Julie and I talk about how it can actually be bad if your teen plans too much for their future. We also discuss why you shouldn’t be afraid to show your kid your imperfections, and how you can raise kids who know how to form healthy relationships.Why Planning Can Be ProblematicSome kids think they know exactly what college they’ll go to. They assume they’ll get into grad school from there, meet the love of their life at 25, get the job of their dreams. They know where they want to live, what dog they want to have and what they’re going to name their kids. But what if they don’t get into that college? What if they’re halfway through their degree and realize...they don’t want to be there? Then their plan falls apart, and they find themselves wandering in the fog.We want teens to have goals and ambitions, but we need to make sure they remain adaptable, says Julie. Adulthood is full of unexpected changes, identity crisis and relationship troubles. If teens plan too much for their future, they’ll only find themselves disappointed when things don’t work out how they expected.Sometimes kids are so focused on their plan that they miss out on something that could be so much better than what they’ve imagined for themselves. In the episode, Julie tells a fascinating story about a young man who worked for years to get into dental school. One day, right in the middle of an operation, he decided he just wasn’t happy with his choices. This realization sent him on a new journey of self exploration that changed his life. Even though he had it all planned to a T, he found those plans did not satisfy him, and he had to start all over again.If we really want to help teens survive in the world, we have to guide them towards the realization that things will never be perfect. In doing so, it can be extremely impactful to tell kids about our own mistakes, so they can learn from us.The Value of VulnerabilityYou probably know how hard it is to be a young person just starting out in the world–because you’ve done it. You likely went through plenty of mishaps and tough times before you eventually landed on the right path. Believe it or not, Julie says, teens don’t imagine that we went through any of that. They tend to think we were able to handle everything like a pro with no mistakes. Then, when they find themselves struggling, they feel like they’re the only ones.Julie suggests sharing all your failures with your teen, to help them see that messing up is not only normal, but educational. Julie and I talk about how much data we gather from making mistakes. It’s at our lowest points, Julie says, that we figure out what makes us truly unhappy. This realization is just as important as realizing what does make us happy, she notes.We sometimes want their kids to follow a certain path or live their life in a very specific way because it suits our narrative. We want to be able to brag to our friends that they got into Harvard or got hired at Apple, but Julie stresses that their journey is not about us. They have to find themselves, even if it can be hard to watch them diverge from the path we’ve set.One of the hardest things about being a happy and stable adult is creating healthy relationships with others. In the episode, Julie and I get into how we can look out for ourselves, while also compromising when needed..Fostering Functional RelationshipsOne of the lessons parents tend to teach kids is the value of protecting themselves before anyone else. Although Julie stands by the importance of prioritizing oneself, she also wants young people to understand the value of compromising with other people.In our interview, Julie talks about how young people often find happiness with a friend or significant other, but drop them at the first disagreement. They feel that if someone isn’t treating them exactly how they expect, then that person needs to go. However, Julie finds this logic problematic. Relationships aren’t perfect and they never will be. If young adults expect constant harmony, they’ll never find someone who makes them happy.Julie stresses the value of teaching kids to be happy with themselves, but also navigate the often complicated path of relating to others. Although it’s hard to find that balance, it’s essential to living a stable life. Equipping kids with the ability to set boundaries and resolve conflict with others will do wonders for them as they make their way through adulthood, Julie says.One way parents can do this is through modeling, Julie says. If we’re raising kids with a partner, make it explicit to growing teens that your relationship isn’t perfect. There are pushes and pulls that create friction and tension, but with honest communication and time, there is always a way back to peace with one another. If we can teach teens this lesson, they’ll have more success with romantic and platonic relationships in adult life.In the Episode…It was a pleasure to sit down with Julie today and discuss how we can help young adults live their best lives. On top of the topics mentioned above, we talk about:How parents can leave kids with a “tool kit” for adult lifeWhat we can do to give kids more autonomy in their teen yearsHow money management is complicated by emotional thinkingWhy we need to teach kids to have boundariesWhat we should tell teens in place of “find your passions”Entering adulthood will always be a challenging process, but Julie has some great tips for us to help prepare our teens for finding their passion, being financially independent, and whatever else comes their way! Grateful to have Julie on the show--thanks for listening, and we’ll see you next week!