Unshamed & Unchained: Carving Space For Self-Healing & Habit Transformation

The results in your life come from existing thought patterns in your brain.If you want long-term, sustainable changes in your results, then changing thought patterns becomes very important.Human brains average 60,000-70,000 thoughts each day.95% of your thoughts each day are unconscious/automatic.5% of your thoughts are conscious.Thoughts cause feelings.Even unconscious thoughts can cause negative, neutral, or positive feelings.Thought Work is using part of our conscious thinking time to examine the unconscious patterns going on.Gaining awareness of a pattern helps you gain authority over it.This is where your power to choose comes in. It exists in the now, in your consciousness.A belief is just a thought repeated over and over.Training your brain to think new things is like training a wild stallion (see podcast).You’ll notice the feelings before the thoughts a lot of times.Don’t get so focused on where you want to be and how you’re not there yet.Begin right where you are, not where you were yesterday or where you long to be.All of your power to exercise choice/agency in your thinking, exists right now.The more moments you can create in the NOW, of believing something even slightly different, the more you will shift in to transformation, inside and out.Test it with the feeling. Embody the new feeing of the new thinking.Too far too fast, forcing, does not work.But you can commit to eventuallly believing something.In the mean time, try on a new thought that is slightly different than current one, and in the direction of the desired one.I recommend starting with love.If I loved myself truly and deeply, how would I think right now?What would I decide for me right now?Do not underestimate the power of loving yourself.You are worth it.You are worth loving.You are worth helping.You are worth getting help.We can tell you these things all day long.But whether you believe it or not is up to you.And it really is a choice.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How tSTART WITH THIS: (FREE MINI-COURSE) 5 DAYS TO UNWIND: STRESS REDUCTION FOR DYNAMIC DOCTOR DADS (click here)CLICK HERE to learn more about or for access to RISE GROUP COACHING CALLS: https://www.dannypoelman.com/rise-coaching-calls Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoachingReady to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With MeWebsite: https://www.dannypoelman.com Danny Poelman is a certified life coach who helps Doctor-Dads Dealing With: burnout, stress, trauma, unwanted habits, and/or strained relationships To heal, sustain, enrich, and maintain a high level of performance in ALL areas of your life (and change unwanted habits), WITHOUT adding more hustle/exhaustion to the equation. Danny also has years of experience helping guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He originally created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMkSTART WITH THIS: (FREE MINI-COURSE) 5 DAYS TO UNWIND: STRESS REDUCTION FOR DYNAMIC DOCTOR DADS (click here)CLICK HERE to learn more about or for access to RISE GROUP COACHING CALLS: https://www.dannypoelman.com/rise-coaching-calls Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoachingReady to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With MeWebsite: https://www.dannypoelman.com Danny Poelman is a certified life coach who helps Doctor-Dads Dealing With: burnout, stress, trauma, unwanted habits, and/or strained relationships To heal, sustain, enrich, and maintain a high level of performance in ALL areas of your life (and change unwanted habits), WITHOUT adding more hustle/exhaustion to the equation. Danny also has years of experience helping guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He originally created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Telling yourself that you are powerless.Helpful or not?For me, NOT!For every guy that ends up coming to me for coaching? NOT!Why we tell ourselves we’re powerless?For one thing, it’s become a tradition in 12-steps groups (NOTE: studies suggest that only 5%-10% of people find success with 12-steps groups).In The Church of Jesus Christ, 12-steps is called ARP (Addiction Recovery Program).And the ones who do find “success” there, or lasting sobriety, many of them still walk around telling themselves they are powerless, and still wishing they could turn to their habit.More importantly, many of us have pretty painful stories we tell ourselves when we start to take responsibility for all of our choices with pornography.Most guys, when starting this work (including my past-self), have a hard time wrapping their mind around the idea that maybe it was always a choice.Maybe they’ve always had the power to choose.And if they always had the power to choose, that means that they used their power to choose porn.And what do we make it mean when we actually used our power to choose porn?Usually a terrible, no-good, shame-filled, all-out attack on ourselves and our character. A should-y conversation where we should all over ourselves.The biggest self-beatdown we can muster.Because we think: the bigger the beatdown for choosing porn, the more likely we’ll be to not choose it again.Works great, doesn’t it?Actually, the more painful we make it for ourselves to accept that we chose porn all along, the more difficult it is to claim your power.Your already-existing power.Your always-existed power.Your always-will-exist power.Shame is not the answer.Love and acceptance are more powerful.Change requires power.If I were to sum up what I do as a coach. I would say that I show guys how to more fully access their own, built-in, already-existing power.I don’t give them all the answers. I show them their brain, and where their power is, and they, using their power, find their own way to success.Yes, I offer them a lot of support and many tools along the way to help them know where to direct this power, to help streamline the process.But it’s still a process.And that’s okay.Because we’re playing the long-game here.We’re going for sustainability.For regular, intentional healing.For genuine enrichment of our lives.For greater love and enjoyment.2 Questions:What already-existing power might you be ignoring in your efforts to quit porn?How can you make it easier for yourself to access that power?Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certiSTART WITH THIS: (FREE MINI-COURSE) 5 DAYS TO UNWIND: STRESS REDUCTION FOR DYNAMIC DOCTOR DADS (click here)CLICK HERE to learn more about or for access to RISE GROUP COACHING CALLS: https://www.dannypoelman.com/rise-coaching-calls Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoachingReady to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With MeWebsite: https://www.dannypoelman.com Danny Poelman is a certified life coach who helps Doctor-Dads Dealing With: burnout, stress, trauma, unwanted habits, and/or strained relationships To heal, sustain, enrich, and maintain a high level of performance in ALL areas of your life (and change unwanted habits), WITHOUT adding more hustle/exhaustion to the equation. Danny also has years of experience helping guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He originally created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

When you are a fish in water, you don’t even know you’re in water.Just because an abusive behavior exists does not make someone an abuser.You can honor your own feelings AND increase your awareness WITHOUT putting your marriage in jeopardy (if you choose).There are disempowering and empowering ways to approach the subject of abuse. You experience both ways while you’re healing/growing.Your process is unique to you.Developing your Self-Concept is key, for quitting porn and for up-leveling your marriage.Setting boundaries can become easy and full of love.Up-leveling your marriage experience can be uncomfortable, but it’s so worth it.You might not even know yet how good it could be for you.If you can imagine it, and desire it, it’s possible.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMkSTART WITH THIS: (FREE MINI-COURSE) 5 DAYS TO UNWIND: STRESS REDUCTION FOR DYNAMIC DOCTOR DADS (click here)CLICK HERE to learn more about or for access to RISE GROUP COACHING CALLS: https://www.dannypoelman.com/rise-coaching-calls Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoachingReady to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With MeWebsite: https://www.dannypoelman.com Danny Poelman is a certified life coach who helps Doctor-Dads Dealing With: burnout, stress, trauma, unwanted habits, and/or strained relationships To heal, sustain, enrich, and maintain a high level of performance in ALL areas of your life (and change unwanted habits), WITHOUT adding more hustle/exhaustion to the equation. Danny also has years of experience helping guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He originally created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

“I’m starting over.”“I lost all my progress.”For many of us, streak-tracking is the only key-indicator we use to measure our progress.A streak is the number of days you’ve gone without porn.Streak = progressHas this approach gotten you where you want to be? If not, maybe it’s time for a new approach.Alternatives to streak-tracking discussed.What if we prioritize tracking our use of a well-planned system over tracking how many days it’s been since last viewing porn.Getting reps in is more important than amount of time spent on a goal, or new habit. What kind of reps will you measure for you?How to make progress more obvious, more attainable, and more enjoyable.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMkSTART WITH THIS: (FREE MINI-COURSE) 5 DAYS TO UNWIND: STRESS REDUCTION FOR DYNAMIC DOCTOR DADS (click here)CLICK HERE to learn more about or for access to RISE GROUP COACHING CALLS: https://www.dannypoelman.com/rise-coaching-calls Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoachingReady to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With MeWebsite: https://www.dannypoelman.com Danny Poelman is a certified life coach who helps Doctor-Dads Dealing With: burnout, stress, trauma, unwanted habits, and/or strained relationships To heal, sustain, enrich, and maintain a high level of performance in ALL areas of your life (and change unwanted habits), WITHOUT adding more hustle/exhaustion to the equation. Danny also has years of experience helping guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He originally created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Lindsay’s shares some lessons from 2020. Including lessons on perfectionism and “reframing.”Coaching on porn/marriage helps you achieve business goals. What?!How to feel more alive and more fully embrace this experience we call being human. Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMkSTART WITH THIS: (FREE MINI-COURSE) 5 DAYS TO UNWIND: STRESS REDUCTION FOR DYNAMIC DOCTOR DADS (click here)CLICK HERE to learn more about or for access to RISE GROUP COACHING CALLS: https://www.dannypoelman.com/rise-coaching-calls Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoachingReady to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With MeWebsite: https://www.dannypoelman.com Danny Poelman is a certified life coach who helps Doctor-Dads Dealing With: burnout, stress, trauma, unwanted habits, and/or strained relationships To heal, sustain, enrich, and maintain a high level of performance in ALL areas of your life (and change unwanted habits), WITHOUT adding more hustle/exhaustion to the equation. Danny also has years of experience helping guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He originally created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Money goals are like porn goals.Some lessons from 2020.Our relationship with money has everything to do with our thoughts about money.Danny shares about his work on money beliefs in 2020.Have you ever thought:“Once I make $X amount of money, I’ll be enough.”“Once I have $X amount of savings, I’ll be enough.”“Once I am out of student loan debt, I’ll be enough.”“Once I grow my business to $X in a year, I’ll be enough.”We do this with porn too:“Once I stop looking at porn, I’ll be enough.”“Once he stops looking at porn, I’ll be enough.”We got this backwards. With money and porn.Developing the belief in your “enough-ness” regardless of the circumstances of money in your life. That’s what propels you toward your money goals.Even though Danny hit his financial goal for the year last week, it didn’t automatically help him feel “enough.” What a great reminder!We wanted to share this reminder with you.Thoughts that you are not enough are what keep you going back to porn.Developing genuine belief that you are enough, just as you are (with or without porn), is what leads you to dropping porn.There is Not Better Than Here.Join us for some other lessons from 2020.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMkSTART WITH THIS: (FREE MINI-COURSE) 5 DAYS TO UNWIND: STRESS REDUCTION FOR DYNAMIC DOCTOR DADS (click here)CLICK HERE to learn more about or for access to RISE GROUP COACHING CALLS: https://www.dannypoelman.com/rise-coaching-calls Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoachingReady to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With MeWebsite: https://www.dannypoelman.com Danny Poelman is a certified life coach who helps Doctor-Dads Dealing With: burnout, stress, trauma, unwanted habits, and/or strained relationships To heal, sustain, enrich, and maintain a high level of performance in ALL areas of your life (and change unwanted habits), WITHOUT adding more hustle/exhaustion to the equation. Danny also has years of experience helping guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He originally created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

Don’t be too quick to skip this one just because it’s about grief. Grief does not only apply to losing loved ones. Grief is also part of the way we experience relationships with ourselves and others.The way we interact with grief matters. And it is, in our experience, a regular part of personal transformation.If you’ve ever found yourself thinking:“I should have done it differently.”“My best days are behind me.““That was my shot.” (And it’s gone, that was it. No more.)If you recognize these ideas from your own life, then come dig deeper what role grief plays in all of this. How we can make the most of our experience with grief and use it to our advantage.How to approach it in a more intentional, empowering way.How to begin to process your grief in a way that allows you to move forward: -in your relationship with self/others-in your marriage-in your life-in forming new habits.Love your way into change instead of hate/shame yourself into shame.Post traumatic growth.Is there a “right” way to grieve?Our guest is Krista St-Germain.She is a fellow life coach certified through the Life Coach School. She’s easy to talk to and has a fresh, empowering approach to grief. Her focus is on helping widowed moms.If what Krista said jives with you, go find her at:www.coachingwithkrista.comLindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMkSTART WITH THIS: (FREE MINI-COURSE) 5 DAYS TO UNWIND: STRESS REDUCTION FOR DYNAMIC DOCTOR DADS (click here)CLICK HERE to learn more about or for access to RISE GROUP COACHING CALLS: https://www.dannypoelman.com/rise-coaching-calls Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoachingReady to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With MeWebsite: https://www.dannypoelman.com Danny Poelman is a certified life coach who helps Doctor-Dads Dealing With: burnout, stress, trauma, unwanted habits, and/or strained relationships To heal, sustain, enrich, and maintain a high level of performance in ALL areas of your life (and change unwanted habits), WITHOUT adding more hustle/exhaustion to the equation. Danny also has years of experience helping guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He originally created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

7 Ways to Build Self-control and Enjoy the Holidays:1. Give yourself permission to not want to do certain things with your family.2. Drop the judgment toward yourself3. Take moments to recharge when you need them.4. Give people permission to not change at all.5. Be willing to let discomfort be part of the holidays.6. Own responsibility for your own thoughts/feelings and let others own theirs.7. Do Thought Work/coaching/self-coaching.This month is the perfect opportunity to work on these things.We discuss these things more in depth in our podcast today, with a real client example.Many guys look at porn during these times, or in anticipation of these times. Or immediately after "getting through" these times.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMkSTART WITH THIS: (FREE MINI-COURSE) 5 DAYS TO UNWIND: STRESS REDUCTION FOR DYNAMIC DOCTOR DADS (click here)CLICK HERE to learn more about or for access to RISE GROUP COACHING CALLS: https://www.dannypoelman.com/rise-coaching-calls Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoachingReady to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With MeWebsite: https://www.dannypoelman.com Danny Poelman is a certified life coach who helps Doctor-Dads Dealing With: burnout, stress, trauma, unwanted habits, and/or strained relationships To heal, sustain, enrich, and maintain a high level of performance in ALL areas of your life (and change unwanted habits), WITHOUT adding more hustle/exhaustion to the equation. Danny also has years of experience helping guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He originally created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.

1. It’s not only okay, but also an important part of your growth to allow yourself to want more.2. You can experience desired changes regardless of whether the people/circumstances around you change.3. The changes you want are possible. If you can desire it, it is possible. The changes you want start with you. Would you really want it another way?You want that power. Trust us. It’s a good thing.Listen in on our discussion in today’s podcast episode.Lindsay and Danny Poelman are certified life coaches and are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Danny helps guys to stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life and/or marriage what they want it to be. Lindsay helps women let go of the fantasy marriage that doesn’t exist and create the marriage of their dreams in real life.For more information: lindsaypoelman.com or www.dannypoelman.comClick Here for Lindsay’s Find Relief Right Now Guide:https://mailchi.mp/lindsaypoelmancoaching/reliefnow1For Danny's free 3-Part video series on How to Stop Looking at Porn:https://mailchi.mp/ecb42a844001/az7gs45o8lSubmit Questions or Recommend Topics you would like us to cover:https://lindsaypoelman.typeform.com/to/dtVOMkSTART WITH THIS: (FREE MINI-COURSE) 5 DAYS TO UNWIND: STRESS REDUCTION FOR DYNAMIC DOCTOR DADS (click here)CLICK HERE to learn more about or for access to RISE GROUP COACHING CALLS: https://www.dannypoelman.com/rise-coaching-calls Check out Danny's Instagram here: @dannypoelmancoachingReady to work with Danny? Schedule a free consultation here: Work With MeWebsite: https://www.dannypoelman.com Danny Poelman is a certified life coach who helps Doctor-Dads Dealing With: burnout, stress, trauma, unwanted habits, and/or strained relationships To heal, sustain, enrich, and maintain a high level of performance in ALL areas of your life (and change unwanted habits), WITHOUT adding more hustle/exhaustion to the equation. Danny also has years of experience helping guys stop looking at pornography (and be happy about it) and make their real life so good that porn becomes irrelevant. He originally created this podcast to help those who are struggling with porn in their marriage and lives, and who know deep down there's something "more" for them if they just learn the skill of doing life porn free.