Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Today’s podcast is a solo show!Takeaways from the show Teen Counseling The 5 Criteria of Positive Discipline Questions to ask yourself to see if the response your giving in a situation meets the criteria for Positive Discipline Come into it expecting your kids to follow through Your kids behavior lets you know what kind of experience they’re having Invite your kids into more expression of what’s going on for them Most of our mischief comes from the perception that we don’t feel like we matter Everyone has their own unique lenses they see out of Whatever we do, we want our kids to feel more connected, seen, and like they matter Trust the process Our kids learn through experience over time Celebrate mistakes, focus on solutions Model your own self-regulation Help your children discover how capable they are Recognize this isn’t a formula or a gimmick Healthy human beings are expressive Resources mentioned:Jane Nelsen Positive Discipline WebsiteFor more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Gemma Hartley.Gemma is a freelance journalist and the author of Fed Up: Emotional Labor, Women, and the Way Forward. She’s a mom of 3 kids, 5, 7 and 10Takeaways from the show: Gemma’s journey of being a writer The article that started her career  Not wanting to ask your family to do something, just wanting them to know to do it Teasing apart emotional labor The pressure that lays on moms’ shoulders What are shared standards Acknowledge your standards exist for a reason  Holding resentment when your significant other feels like they should get praise for things you do on a daily basis Being in conversation with our family in a way that supports everyone Make it normal to talk about emotional labor  Vulnerability with your partner is scary but necessary  When going into emotional labor conversations, be clear on your intentions The process of re-evaluating the life you share should include everyone being involved Tools that help make everyone feel supported in emotional labor Asking your kids to “help” you with household chores implies it is your job, which it isn’t Recognize the subtle messaging you’re giving your kids Where to find Gemma: Book | Website | Facebook | Instagram | Women Aren’t Nags Article | Emotional Labor Article Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week’s episode is a solo show!Takeaways from the show Birth story of my first child How resistance and tension can affect your relationship with your kids Recognizing your own resistance will open up a deep personal inquiry Your teen has their own experience and mistakes to make on their path of life Journal about resistance Broaden your relationships by looking into yourself to where you hold resistance Your teens emotional development is still in the process even if they look like full-grown humans Parenting for a Brave New World Summit Click here to listen to the interview with my daughter RowanFor more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week my guest is Iris Chen.Iris is a writer, unschooler, and founder of the Untigering movement. After starting out as a hardcore tiger mother, she began to untiger when she saw all the negative effects of her authoritarian parenting. Now she’s on a mission to empower others families by promoting mental health, peaceful parenting, and educational freedom for children. She recently moved back to California with her husband and two sons after 16 years of living in China. Takeaways from the show Tiger parenting and its cultural meaning Iris’ experience growing up and how that played into her parenting How patterns of how you were parented can show up into the subconscious Shifting to a different way of parenting Doing the inner work so your relationships with your kids can improve Holding space for your emotions  Learning to filter assumptions about children and parenting through a lens of love and respect and anti-oppression The swing from demanding parenting to permissive parenting Leaning into trust and connection  Having a positive way to manage dysregulation Taking apart the baggage around making mistakes in parenting Making mistakes is an opportunity to model ownership, responsibility and humility Holding mutual respect in the relationships with your children Bringing awareness to the fact that children are worthy of honor and dignity and certain rights For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week’s podcast is a SOLO show!!Takeaways from the show: The refreshing new start of 2021 Relationships strengthening  Choosing into feeling grateful for things that exist in your life Possibilities of the present moment Practice returning to the present moment again and again Feelings about the new year What are you willing to surrender to this year What Joyful Courage stands for Growth is the purpose of everything in life Tending to relationships that matter in our life The importance of taking an opportunity to grow New mini summit with an opportunity of a VIP pass Think about what you want to create this year For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Ian O’Roarty.Ian is my youngest child, he turned 15 October 30th, and is a freshman in high school. He is the baby in the house, and taller than us all. He is passionate about basketball, loves his friends, and has melted my mama heart since day one. I say that Ian is my “positive discipline” kid because he was the one who was always game to create a routine, or role play a situation, he was willing.I’d say that Ian and I are very close, I will let him share his experience during the interview… He has always been really open with me, and it doesn’t seem like that is really anything that we haven’t talked about… He loves family time, when we are all together, and is super stoked to have his drivers permit.I am honored that he is willing to come share candidly with all of you on the podcast.Takeaways from the show: Coping with covid Challenges in the last year Being a close relationship with your parents Having a sibling who is going through mental health issues Messaging on swearing in our house Reading agreements Screen time  Thoughts from a teen about watching the Social Dilemma Video games and limits Managing screen time with online school What it means to Ian to “be a man” Toxic masculinity Goals for the future Advice to parents raising sons For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week’s podcast is a SOLO show!!!Takeaways from the show: Beta group Introducing the next mini summit Discovering your most authentic way of being Being responsible for yourself and how you show up Connection to self, family, and community Surrender to being imperfect Teens teach us that flexibility is imperative Trust that things are temporary Create a safe environment so your teen can share what they want from an authentic and open place Caregiving is always in motion Owning discovery around money Trusting the unfolding of life Be with what comes up, feel your feels For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Rowan O’Roarty.Rowan is my oldest child, she will be 18 in January, and one of my biggest teachers of personal growth. As we all do, we learn who we are as parents, through our relationships with our children. Rowan made me a mom, and continues to influence who I am in the world as I navigate what it means to mother her.Rowan has been through her own journey of personal discovery over the past few years, maneuvering mental health challenges, dropping out of school, completing her GED, and stepping in to big responsibility while her dad and I were gone for 2 months going through my husband's cancer treatment.I am honored that she is willing to come share herself and her journey so candidly with you all today.Takeaways from the show: Where the anxiety started When Rowan became aware of her anxiety Things we did that helped Rowan cope with depression and anxiety Panic attacks  Navigating anxiety attacks and how parents can be supportive What depression feels like Things parents can do that are helpful to their teen’s mental health Dialectical behavioral therapy Realizing only YOU can change your experience What Rowan has learned about herself these past few years Mental health and high school Rowan’s freshman year Opting into online school Dropping out of school and gaining parent’s support The GED test Plans for the future For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week is a SOLO show! Takeaways from the show: Gratitude Grow through what you go through Shifting to be grateful for the experiences you’re put through Working on self regulation Model for your kids what effective problem solving looks like Embodying the life you’re living Allowing fear or resentfulness to change into gratitude and strength Doing the work to be in a different headspace when the same problems show up Personal growth isn’t linear Practicing being mindful For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Jennifer Variste’s desire for pediatrics began at a very young age because her visits to her pediatrician were usually positive experiences. Later she fulfilled her dream and obtained her medical degree from the University of Texas Southwestern Medical Center. She went on to complete a pediatric residency at UT Houston Health Science Center. After residency, she returned to practice in her hometown of College Station, Texas. Dr. Variste is grateful for the five years she spent treating families there and for the relationships and connections she made. She now practices in Spring, Texas at Family First Pediatrics. As a board-certified pediatrician her passion is to empower moms and dads to raise their kids to lead happy, healthy lives full of precious memories and discovery. She desires to create the same positive experiences for her patients that she had with her pediatrician as a young child.For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices