Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

My guests today are Ted Bunch and Anna Marie Johnson Teague.  Ted and Anna Marie are friends, parents, and anti-violence educators. They work for A Call to Men, helping men and boys promote healthy manhood and prevent violence and discrimination.  Ted works with professional athletes, business leaders, activists, and boys just like the ones you have.  Anna Marie is a storyteller at heart and a devoted boy mom. She is nationally recognized for creating and executing award-winning, multi-platform campaigns to advance critical social issues like improving education and ending violence against women. Takeaways from the show: Prevention of violence and discrimination against women and girls How the book of dares are changing people’s lives Making an effort to talk about emotions with your boys Socialization of masculinity Being vulnerable is a strength How to support the men and boys in your life Messages men are getting from society Peer influence in middle school Developing a critical lens on how women are treated What healthy manhood looks like The danger women/people are in because of the ways we are raising our boys Treat your kids like an adult Having conversations with your boys that aren’t always in your face Raise boys to value girl’s experiences just as much as they value their own Where to find Ted and Anna Marie: The Book of Dares | Website | FaceBook | Twitter | Instagram | LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s episode is a solo show!Takeaways from the show: Beliefs about belonging and significance Overview of mistaken goals Third mistaken goal: Revenge Tune into your experience as a parent Signs your child’s mistaken goal is revenge How adults contribute to our child’s belief of not belonging The coded message behind revenge Uncertainty of the world right now playing a part in our kid’s lives Revenge isn’t lashing out, it's passing on the hurt Tools to support you and your child in their mistaken goals Your job as parents to make your kids feel like they belong Let your child know you see them Eps 263 | Eps 265 | Mistaken Goal ChartSee you next week!! :):::: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Jud Brewer.Dr. Jud is a thought leader in the field of habit change and the “science of self-mastery”, having combined over 20 years of experience with mindfulness training with his scientific research therein. He is the Director of Research and Innovation at the Mindfulness Center and associate professor in Behavioral and Social Sciences and Psychiatry at the Schools of Public Health & Medicine at Brown University. He is also the executive medical director of behavioral health at Sharecare Inc. and a research affiliate at MIT.A psychiatrist and internationally known expert in mindfulness training for addictions, Brewer has developed and tested novel mindfulness programs for habit change, including both in-person and app-based treatments for smoking, emotional eating, and anxiety.Takeaways from the show: Jud’s journey with anxiety Number needed to treat Where anxiety comes from Why anxiety has increased in the past year Tools to help parents stay calm The benefits of mapping habit loops How our brains are wired for reward value The power of fear and worry in parents Becoming disenchanted by your behaviors Bigger better offer The reward value of worrying vs. being curious Mindfulness of emotions Cause and effect relationship For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week’s episode is a SOLO show!! Takeaways from the show: Adlerian theory Our perception of belonging and significance colors the lens we see the world out of Undue attention review Honor your kids beliefs Second mistaken goal: Misguided power Notice how your child’s behavior makes you feel Power struggles Ways adults add to this behavior The importance of teaching your kids to contribute in ways for them to use their power You are not in control of your kids Teens want the acknowledgement of how capable they are Acknowledge your part in the stuff that’s gone down with your teens House rules audit The importance of practicing follow through How to make your child feel a greater sense of belonging and significance  Coaching Page | Eps 261 | Eps 129 | Eps 177 | Eps 218 | Eps 261 | Eps 263  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Michelle Icard.   Michelle is a member of the Today show parenting team and NBC News Learn. The author of Fourteen Talks by Age Fourteen and Middle School Makeover, her work has been featured in the Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, The Christian Science Monitor, Redbook, Time, and People.  Her leadership curriculum for middle schoolers, Athena's Path and Hero's Pursuit, have been implemented at schools across the U.S., and her summer camp curriculum is offered at more than twenty camps each summer. She lives with her family in Charlotte, North Carolina. Takeaways from the show: Being the leader and designer of your life Michelle’s new book: 14 talks by age Fourteen How lots of little conversations are more helpful than one big conversation BRIEF acronym  Conversation crashers Be specific with your kids Isolation is a part of exploring independence Sitting inside of having tough conversations with your child Having trust in your kids that they will learn from their mistakes Having a neutral expression while talking to your kids  For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week’s episode is a solo show! Takeaways from the show: Perception matters The goal of behavior is to find and feel a sense of belonging and significance Iceberg metaphor Mistaken goals: Undue attention Connection vs. attention Tune into how your kid’s behavior makes you feel Parents contribute to beliefs kids have about connection The coded message behind annoying behavior is notice me and involve me usefully Redirect by involving your kids in a useful task Say what you will do Avoid special services Plan 1 on 1 time with your kids Involve your kids in creating routines Eps 261 | Downloadable Mistaken Goal Chart See you next week!! :) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Pamela Ellis. In her more than 20 years working in education research and as a financial executive in the private sector, Pamela Ellis—The Education Doctor® has emerged as a leading authority on what it takes for students to thrive in education and, thereby, in life.Her work supports parents find the school where their children can thrive—the one that feels like home.Takeaways from the show Struggles parents are going through with supporting kids for college Myths about getting into college ACT and SAT myths  Looking for a college that fits with you How soon parents of college bound kids should be making moves for their future Benefits of taking a gap year Breaking down what to think about as your kids move through each year of high school Reading for pleasure Understanding scholarships For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week’s podcast is a solo show!Takeaways from the show: Concepts and theories of Positive Discipline Belief behind behavior Iceberg metaphor  Positive discipline 101 Behaviorist vs. Positive Discipline The concept of belonging and significance School drama You must start with self reflection if you want to create lasting change Pay attention to how it feels when school drama comes up with your child The first reason for our kids to misbehave is that they desire attention and connection If kids don’t get the connection, they move on to seeking power Eps 259 | Alison Smith interviewFor more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Alexandra Eidens. Alexandra is the founder of Big Life Journal, a growth mindset company for children and teens. Alexandra’s company specializes in creating practical tools to help parents and teachers integrate growth mindset into their everyday lives. Their guided journals are now used by over 500,000 children world wide. When not creating journals, Alexandra is reading the latest research on brain science and the mind-body connection. Takeaways from the show: The foundations of Big Life Journal Nurturing a growth mindset Personal development in parenting Growth vs. fixed mindset Model the human experience to your children Be process oriented vs. outcome oriented Teach your children to set learning goals Rejection is an indication that you are putting yourself out there How to deliver feedback to your child Make a habit of learning new things Embrace struggle and adversity Compare yourself to yourself only Engage in deliberate practice Comfort vs. stretch zone Model being vulnerable in your own experiences The best thing you can do as a parent is love your kids unconditionally  Where to find Alexandra: Ebook | Big Life Journal | FaceBook  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s podcast is a solo show!Takeaways from the show Teen Counseling The 5 Criteria of Positive Discipline Questions to ask yourself to see if the response your giving in a situation meets the criteria for Positive Discipline Come into it expecting your kids to follow through Your kids behavior lets you know what kind of experience they’re having Invite your kids into more expression of what’s going on for them Most of our mischief comes from the perception that we don’t feel like we matter Everyone has their own unique lenses they see out of Whatever we do, we want our kids to feel more connected, seen, and like they matter Trust the process Our kids learn through experience over time Celebrate mistakes, focus on solutions Model your own self-regulation Help your children discover how capable they are Recognize this isn’t a formula or a gimmick Healthy human beings are expressive Resources mentioned:Jane Nelsen Positive Discipline WebsiteFor more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices