Brenda Zane is back this week!  She was on this spring talking about how to be with teen substance abuse. We had SUCH an amazing response to that conversation that Brenda and I thought it would be helpful to have her back to talk about “what do you do” for specific scenarios around our teens and substances that leave us feeling in the dark. Today we discuss how to set healthy boundaries around teen substance abuse while still maintaining a connected relationship with our teens. Takeaways from the show Creating conditions for positive change in children, and the plant analogy. Why young people turn to substance use, including a desire to cope with emotional pain and shame. Setting boundaries around drug use The challenge of enforcing consequences The importance of addition over subtraction in facilitating change Have open and curious conversations with their teenagers about substance use, rather than resorting to shame or judgment The importance of building a positive relationship with children, focusing on mutual respect and influence rather than control or manipulation The "information sandwich" technique to discuss sensitive topics with teenagers How humor and modeling positive behavior are useful tools Focusing on boundaries and natural consequences, rather than reactive measures like drug testing and phone confiscation For more show notes including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You have a great relationship with your teen and they are STILL getting into ALL the mischeif? You aren't alone. This episode I am going to tease this apart and remind you what the most important thing to consider is.Find full show notes at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-424-when-it-feels-like-your-teen-is-holding-you-hostage Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Alyssa Campbell is back this week!  I am thrilled to have Alyssa here to chat about her new book, “Little People, Big Emotions” and her Collaborative Emotion Processing method. Alyssa explains what “safe to feel” means, how we can figure out which emotions in our kids make us uncomfortable & why, and explains that our adolescents have completely different tools & experiences than we did. I ask Alyssa how considering long-term goals for our teens can help our relationship, and we dig into why having a toolbox to get through the tough times is more important than just “being happy.” We discuss how important failure is for growth, enabling vs. empowering, and when we can reduce task demand when our teens are overwhelmed. Alyssa and I get into enabling versus collaborating, interdependence, and the importance of daily self-care. As we wrap up, I ask for tips for parents who are practicing their own emotional safety, keeping ownership over our own emotions, and normalizing the self-regulation journey.Takeaways from the show Emotional safety in your relationship with your teen  Providing a safe space for children to express themselves without fear, judgment, or rejection  Your adolescents have completely different experiences than you did  Defining your long-term goals for your teen (is happiness the goal, or is having tools for hard times more important)?  Keeping long-term goals top of mind  Rescuing our kids versus letting them fail  Age bias, expectations, and “you should know better”  Reducing task demands when adolescents are overwhelmed  Enabling versus collaborating; interdependence  Daily, consistent self-care adds up  Being mad, frustrated, and/or scared is not dysregulation  Taking ownership of our own emotions For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join me for this solo episode where I reflect on how our teens behavior is the response to how they are experiencing belonging and significance, as well as the ways OUR reaction to their brain development matters.You can find full show notes at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-422-making-sense-teens-behavior/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My guest this week is Janae Young, and I’m so excited that she’s here to share her wisdom as a college admissions coach with us.  Janae shares why she’s so passionate about college admissions, and we talk about what the admissions process looks like now, including what the common application system is. Janae shares what’s challenging about college application essays for adolescents, tips to help, and her two archetype essay writers. I ask Janae what best practices are for parents who are helping their kids through the college application process, and she shares where we can support and when we need to back off. We hit on missed deadlines & natural consequences and how to best list awards & activities. I ask Janae what kids can be doing in 9th, 10th, and 11th grade to help prepare for college applications, and we briefly touch on ACTs and SATs. Takeaways from the show What’s the college application process look like now?  Common application system  College application essays  “Perfectionist Polly” and “Rushed Ryan”  How can parents best support their teen during this process?  Week-by-Week college application calendar  College applications are their job, not yours  Missed deadlines & learning through mistakes  What teens can do in 9th, 10th, and 11th grades to help the college admissions process  Best time to take SATs  For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join me today as I explore what motivates our teens, parenting that gets in the way, and how to dismantle the armor they create over time. It's a brand new solos show!See full show notes at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/Eps-420:-Encouragement-Motivation-Teens-Armor/Find info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/teens/sponsors/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I’m so excited that Michelle Icard is back today to chat about her newest book: 8 Setbacks That Can Make a Child a Success.  Michelle shares with me how parents can best support their adolescents through setbacks and why we can’t swoop in to fix everything for them.  She explains her three steps to take when dealing with a problem: contain, resolve, & evolve, and we touch on where consequences show up.  Kids are always going to make more mistakes, and it’s critical that we allow children to learn from those mistakes.  Michelle and I tease apart how much credit we take for our kids’ behavior - good and bad, and we talk about how hard it can be to balance staying “fiercely committed & lovingly detached” to our teens.  Michelle has an awesome analogy about how toughening up our teens & encouraging grit is like a greenhouse keeper hardening their plants.  We agree that we don’t need to create a tough environment for our kids though - that already exists, and we end sharing a few successes & outcomes that can follow the hard times.Takeaways from the show Setbacks and failures make us smarter and better  How to best support your adolescent through setbacks  Mistakes are opportunities to learn  3 steps to take while dealing with failure  Kids & teens must learn through their own experiences  Kids are going to continue to make mistakes - that doesn’t mean they aren’t learning  Your kids aren’t part of your brand  “Fiercely committed, lovingly detached”  Children shouldn’t be burdened by our emotions  How can teens toughen up & build resiliency For more show notes, including transcripts, see our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join me in chapter NINE of Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey, the book I published back in 2019. I will be discussing what holds up and things I’ve learned during the wild years since it came out.Get the full show notes and find out more about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-418-joyful-courage-book-chapter-nine/.Get the book and the companion guide at https://www.besproutable.com/joyful-courage-calming-the-drama-and-taking-control-of-your-parenting-journey-book/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My guest today is Sapna Rad, and we’re getting into back-to-school season with teens. First, Sapna shares about herself & what kicked off her path to conscious parenting. We talk about the shift from our small kiddos wanting to be attached to us 24/7 to the teen years when they start individuating and lean away. Sapna helps me define what conscious parenting is and we discuss how that complements Positive Discipline.  I ask Sapna what parents need to remember as kids head back to the classroom, then I bring up teens who don’t want to talk & share with their parents and ask what behaviors might manifest when teens are feeling anxious. Sapna shares what “getting hooked” looks like and how we can start noticing our triggers. We get into how routines look different with teens and how getting routines dialed in can help reduce stress all around. We wrap talking about how parents can practice mindfulness.  Takeaways from the show Anxiety in children  Individuation happens in all teens  What is conscious parenting? How does that fit with Positive Discipline?  What to remember as kids head back to school  When your teen doesn’t want to talk to you  Behaviors that manifest when teens are feeling anxious  When to use silence as a tool with adolescents  Tools to notice your triggers Redefining what routines look like for teens  Clues you might be missing a routine  Practicing mindfulness For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join me in chapter eight of Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey, the book I published back in 2019. I will be discussing what holds up and things I’ve learned during the wild years since it came out. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices