My guest today is Dr. Matt Zakreski, an expert on neurodivergency with an eclectic approach. Dr. Matt tells me about growing up as a twice-exceptional kid himself and what he’s seeing with the teens he works with now.  

I ask Dr. Matt what parents can do about the emotional intensity that comes with raising teens, especially neurodivergent teens. He reminds us that “emotions can’t be wrong,” and you know I loved it when Dr. Matt reminds us to get curious about our teen’s feelings.   

Dr. Matt brings up perfectionism and why we might see more rigidity & anxiety spike during stressful times. We dig into trapdoor perfectionism, how we can invite kids to accept coaching, help, & practice when they’re resistant, and handing over energetic responsibility. 

Takeaways from the show

• The Performance Cliff 
• Asynchronous development & high emotional intensity 
• Raising neurodivergent kids with neurotypical siblings 
• Neurodivergent behavior versus typical teen behavior 
• “Emotions can’t be wrong” 
• You don’t have to understand to show up well 
• 3 directions of perfectionism  
• Should = could + shame 
• Trapdoor perfectionism 
• Validating our teens gives them permission to show up authentically as themselves 
• Kids do as well as they can with the tools they have in that moment

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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