BRAIN CROPS - with Chelsea Myers

In this episode Chelsea and Austin Hair, of Commercial Real Estate Secrets, talk about emotional intelligence training for dentist partners. Everything from health and fitness to reaching expansive professional goals is impacted by the way that we think. 

You know… it’s funny how things work out, sometimes, isn’t it?? I had on my calendar to record this podcast today - which, as you might have noticed in the title, is all about “adaptability.” And -- it’s been cloudy all day -- and I walked into my office to record -- and heard the most incredible - theatrical - boom of thunder!! The storm caused us to lose power and now my podcaster is acting all crazy, so...A In the spirit of being “ADAPTABLE” and in staying in integrity with my plan to record this episode -- I’m doing it from my phone and I apologize in advance for any changes you notice -- we’ll -- uhh -- do our best to have it cleaned up, but if you’re noticing a difference -- that’s why.. So --- adaptability -- the superpower worth developing… What got me thinking about this was that I was coaching someone recently on fear… and making decisions from a place of fear … which, as I’m sure you know, is an uncomfortable place to decide things from -- and usually doesn’t result in your most effective or efficient decisions in relation to your goals. And as I was talking to this dentist and hearing what she was saying… I realized that the reason she wasn’t taking the action she said she needed to take was not from a lack of courage, but from a lack of adaptability. And so often I hear people talk about fear and courage as if they’re perfect opposites -- and in some cases that’s true -- but in this case she had the courage that she needed to take action -- The storm caused us to lose power and now my podcaster is acting all crazy, so... In the spirit of being “ADAPTABLE” and in staying in integrity with my plan to record this episode -- I’m doing it from my phone and I apologize in advance for any changes you notice -- we’ll -- uhh -- do our best to have it cleaned up, but if you’re noticing a difference -- that’s why.. So --- Adaptability... What got me thinking about this was that I was coaching someone recently on fear… and making decisions from a place of fear … which, as I’m sure you know, is an uncomfortable place to decide things from -- and usually doesn’t result in your most effective or efficient decisions in relation to your goals. And as I was talking to this dentist and hearing what she was saying… I realized that the reason she wasn’t taking the action she said she needed to take was not from a lack of courage, but from a lack of adaptability. And so often I hear people talk about fear and courage as if they’re perfect opposites -- and in some cases that’s true -- but in this case she had the courage that she needed to take action -- Her fear was stemming from a really firm belief that she should only take that action, though, from her ideal situation rather than from her reality. She was clinging so tightly to how things needed to be before she could take action -- because she was afraid of all of the unknowns of changing first -- that she was literally watching a really important opportunity pass her by. So I shared with her and I want to share with you now -- if you want to succeed in your role as an entrepreneurial dentist -- you HAVE to be WILLINGLY ADAPTABLE.

Intentional pauses can require a heightened level of emotional responsibility.  There’s a magical combination of being an efficient decision maker and being in tune with your emotions as you’re deciding… And you’re gonna need both superpowers to reach your highest level as a dentist entrepreneur. As an dentist entrepreneur your loyalty is first to the practice, to the business. I do not mean that your loyalty is to the team member or patient in the practice who wants an immediate answer on something… Your first obligation is to the entity that takes care of all of you! Sometimes answers can be given immediately --- but there’ll be plenty of situations that you will have either knowledge, a feeling, or a combination of both --- where you will be the best steward over your practice --- if you take some time before answering. The business is counting on you to know when you, as the entrepreneur, can decide immediately and when you need to take a minute.  When you need to pause.

Some of you are trying to limit or kick caffeine, some of you want to reduce or quit drinking alcohol, some of you want to stop doing another pattern or behavior in your life that you no longer see as useful. And so what i’m going to do is i’m going to document my own progress over the 30 day period using what i know to be effective tools and resources so that you can have some sort of way to keep yourself going and maybe some ideas to inspire yourself when it gets hard. I’ve chosen a commitment that will require my mind and body to adapt and will strengthen me. And I know that a lot of you may have already experienced 30 days of a workout program only to quit, or 30 days of no wine and then binged… The examples of short lived victories followed by a return to previous behavior are countless. So if you’re skeptical about the efficacy of a 30 day change, I’d like you to think about those examples in your own life and what those experiences were like for you. What I see a lot of is a “white knuckling” experience...a clenched jaw as you painfully count down the days until you can go back to the thing you’ve been deprived of or quit the grueling miles you’ve been cycling.” This isn’t that. I’m not going into this willing to accept temporary deprivation. I’m not punishing myself in any way. I am - on purpose - adjusting the way I’ve been doing something, because I believe that the outcome of increased physical and mental strength are more valuable than the pleasure of continuing to do what I’ve been doing. And at the end of the 30 days, I’ll evaluate and decide what I want to do from there. Maybe I’ll do another 30 days, maybe I’ll make this a permanent thing…

This is important, because the way that you’re thinking about your career and the way that you’re thinking about your day to day in the practice is absolutely impacting how you’re presenting - how you’re approaching - and how you’re responding. Here’s the thing: if you knew with absolutely no doubts - that you knew how to create the results in your practice that you wanted - you wouldn’t be discouraged about the process. You wouldn’t get hung up on a bad day. You wouldn’t be worried about not making your numbers, because you’d KNOW that you knew how to make them.  So, it isn’t the goals or the metrics that are tripping you up. It’s the pressure or the stress coming from the belief that you have about meeting them.

How quickly do you rebound from setbacks? Let me tell you something I know about dentists having worked with you for as long as I have now… You are intelligent, resourceful, determined, successful people. Period. And sometimes, as people with a long list of superlatives, you are really hard on yourself and think your situations of struggle are so unique that it actually holds you back from getting the support you need to move through it. our minds sometimes present things to us and the way that we say them out loud to other people can be quite different from reality. And here’s what I mean by that: In relation to conversations about rebounding - bouncing back from unexpected or difficult situations - okay… I want you to define in your mind what being “good at that” would look like. Because I think sometimes we assume that because something is painful or uncomfortable or that because we’re not enjoying going through it that we’re not good at it. And I think those are two totally separate things: how we feel while doing something and our skill level in doing it. So it’s important to remember that you choose your directive. You choose your perspective! If something is incredibly challenging for you, and you don’t like how you’re feeling as you’re rebounding, ask yourself, “How can I be the most valuable to myself and this situation?”

There seems to be this misconception out there that if you put things off, if you procrastinate, if you hang out in indecision land for a while...that you’re not really hurting anyone. That it’s not really a problem. Every day offers a finite amount of space for you to create whatever you want to create...to stretch further than you’ve stretched before...to expand beyond your current levels of comfort, skill, or ability. If you are sure you want to improve your situation, if you know you want something more...then I want to challenge you, right now, to commit to doing things differently. And what that looks like is going to vary from person to person, but what will be the same and what you can implement right now is a healthy dose of self-discipline with your time. Now, let's get to work.

Just like everything else in life with an opposite, owning the good things in your life comes with the counterpart of owning the bad things. All of them. Whatever you don’t like - whatever’s not working for you - whatever is causing you pain is 100% on you. And that is SUCH GOOD NEWS!!

Our minds put things into buckets - categorize things - as “right” and “wrong.” Where the things that look good, feel comfortable, are easy, and pleasurable are, of course, the “right” things. And the things that are out of the ordinary, cause us to do extra work, aren’t as we would have them be are the “wrong” things. And our brains do this constantly. Constantly scan our environments and label the things in them. And those “wrong” things can, without our even noticing, become hyper-focal points for us. We notice them and keep noticing them, and spin on them, and become increasingly aware of and often bothered by them. Which is NOT very fun! Interrupt brain… As directly as if it was under your authority - because, by the way, IT IS - and quite literally saying, “Stop. Focus on everything that is good about this situation..." It will generate a different type of fuel and it will ignite a better “mood” than the alternative focus. This Works!

Ideas don't create results - Actions create results - Actions come from decisions - In order to create the life you want to live you have to decide to make decisions that align with what you want.