You Are Not Broken

Welcome along with me and Dr. Laurie Mintz and a cohort of female physicians as we do a book club on her amazing book, “Becoming Cliterate” Why she wrote the book. Why the knowledge of female anatomy and pleasure keeps getting lost. Her new inspiration to educate young men.  And her informal poll on what the guys want. Learn who started researching the orgasm gap in the first place. How many different types of orgasms are possible and do they all come from the clitoris or from many different places – and why do we even care? The idea of “consent” when you have sex that you don’t really want to or do it as a “duty or obligation” Her wish for physicians to help their patients. Becoming Cliterate https://amzn.to/3n7nNyK A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex https://amzn.to/3n7nNyK --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Laurie Mintz is a feminist author, therapist, professor, and speaker whose life’s work has been committed to helping people live more authentic, meaningful, joyful—and sexually satisfying—lives through the art and science of psychology. Background story - how she got into sexuality education and therapy? Everyone cares about a woman’s libido – but I want to ask – are women just having boring sex? Tell us the stats about orgasmic inequality and how this ties in to affecting a woman’s libido The orgasm gap is even worse for the hook up culture – can you tell us the data and why it is concerning. What is her opinion on scheduling sex? She talks about stress and overwork as top reasons for lowered sex life – my women say “oh yeah” but what should they actually do about it. She says that “empowerment in the bedroom leads to confidence in the boardroom” – please tell us more. In her “tired guide” book you say there is no pill for desire – that book was 2009 – now there is a pill and an injection – what are her thoughts about these? If someone asked me to re-do sex ed for our youth – I would include pleasure, vulvar anatomy, the lie that PIV causes orgasms for women – what would you add? I want to ask her about three women and hear her advice A 20 yo single, just starting out A 38 yo, married, kids, full time job – lost her libido, doesn’t enjoy sex A 58 yo, post menopause, kids out of the house, husband feels like a roomate What her opinion of us educators not being able to use or being afraid of saying certain words on Becoming Cliterate https://amzn.to/373dMe6 The Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex:  https://amzn.to/373dMe6 https://www.instagram.com/drlauriemintz https://www.drlauriemintz.com/ Magnificent Sex by Peggy Kleinplatz https://amzn.to/3C9UelT --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jessa Zimmerman is a licensed couples’ counselor and nationally certified sex therapist. She works in private practice in Seattle, WA. Over the course of her therapy career, she has focused almost exclusively on helping couples with their emotional and sexual intimacy. In her years of clinical experience, Zimmerman has treated hundreds of couples who have struggled to feel sexual desire and fulfillment. Her clients describe having a good relationship in other ways, but their sex life has become difficult to the point that they start to avoid sex. These are people who love each other but are struggling to have a sex life they both enjoy. She specializes in helping these couples who find that sex has become stressful, negative, disappointing, or pressured. She educates, coaches, and supports people as they go through her 4 pillar experiential process that allows them real world practice in changing their relationship and their sex life, guiding them to become easily intimate. How do you become “easily intimate”? How Hollywood messes us up. You have a video “no libido, no problem” tell us more Talk about how “low libido” is just desire discrepancy How can women be more engaged in sex? Top three mistakes of the lower desire person – believing you are broken, wanting partner to stop initiating, thinking that it is all or nothing How to create a sex life that has zero stress. “it’s neuroscience people, it’s okay” – Dr. C “Obligation is not sustainable” – Jessa Zimmerman Sex is a playground, not a football field Link to “Sex Without Stress: A couples guide to overcoming disappointment, avoidance and pressure” https://amzn.to/3vNPZda Instagram: www.instagram.com/intimacywithease Better Sex Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/better-sex/id1329973865 --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Muscles and Menopause Advocate Amanda Thebe Fitness and women’s health expert Amanda Thebe went from barely surviving menopause to thriving, by making specific changes to her diet, exercise, and approach to mental health. I was following you on IG @amanda.thebe and you made a post about women and muscles, which I absolutely love! And here we are! And she was kind enough to send me her book, which I loved, and read and now I get to interview her! 1) Talk to me about your story – personal trainer to menopause advocate 2) Let’s talk about muscles 3) What’s with “balancing hormone” and “re-setting” hormones 4) She calls protein the “queen of food” 5) She says “being strong has transferred over to my everyday life” – discuss 6) You didn’t really scare me until “a woman’s risk of breaking a hip is as much as getting breast, uterine and ovarian cancer combined” – risk of death after a hip fracture is 21 % within a year after the fracture 7) Let’s talk about sleep tips in menopause – and how sex helps sleep amandathebe.com Get her book “Menopocalypse” https://amzn.to/2SA4hPJ “Estrogen Matters”  Avrum Bluming, MD and Carol Tavris PhD. https://amzn.to/38YjsHs --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

No organization recommends pellets.   You know who recommends pellets?  People making money off of using pellets. Rant over! Enjoy me getting my spice on in this live Podcast recording in Sept.   Testosterone guidelines for treating women: https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/international-experts-provide-consensus-on-how-to-administer-testosterone-to-postmenopausal-women-301261018.html Pellet Safety: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/33973545/ https://www.mdedge.com/obgyn/article/241740/menopause/hormone-pellet-safety-data-not-very-reassuring-all-women --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Vonda Wright and I talk about sleep! Learn the benefits of sleep – better daytime function, memory, sleep and a longer life! We discuss things that limit our sleep in our modern lives, including untreated menopause symptoms. Join her with the free “back to sleep challenge” This week! https://backtosleepchallenge.com/ Podcast Sponsor: https://www.chilisleep.com/ https://www.instagram.com/chilisleep/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

find a NAMS certified practitioner at https://www.menopause.org/ We also talk about GSM (genitourinary syndrome of menopause) and preventative care as we age.  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today we welcome Erika Davian – we are both certified at the Life coach school and someone connected us!  I had been saying that someone ought to coach the men! And then she showed up in my life! Today we are learning about surrogate partner therapy with her. We need to pay attention to the men too! And we are in this episode! She tells us how she got into this niche. She helps millennial men cultivate the confidence to create the life they want in and out of the bedroom. She helps them show up as themselves. A myth is that “straight men have it so easy” when in fact they have a lot of pressure to “be” a certain way as much if not more than other people. She  quickly saw that some clients-- particularly younger clients-- thought their sexual dysfunction was purely physiological, when really, the psychological component was playing as big or an even bigger role. What is a common limiting belief or scenarios that men have about sexuality? “Anxiety and erections are not good bedfellows” “there is one way to please a woman” is very pervasive. “things are problems because we think they are problems” She says - I’ve seen men encounter sexual dysfunction and shame, simply because their mind was sabotaging their body’s ability to perform. Tips for men to start talking to their partner about sex. Tips for premature ejaculation. You help men manage their mind – what are some common themes that you see? You can find her at www.sessionswitherika.com and erikadavian.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me on a lecture I gave to some surgeons (some of my favorite people BTW). I discuss - sexual normative roles and how that affects our personal sex lives. We were taught “sex negative” education – don’t get pregnancy or infections, save it for marriage What happens when the novelty of sex wears off Is desire a circumstance, a feeling, a result? Where do we put it in a coaching model. Desire and sex for women. What do I mean by crappy sex? Sex, surgery and mindfulness Normalizing responsive desire Sleep and a happy sex life/drive What is responsive desire? How alcohol works with the brain to hurt/help our sex drive Why older people have great sex Why our thoughts about our spouse helps or hurts our sex life – and our thoughts are completely under our control. Do you desire what you already have? Why textbooks dedicate way more space to male sexual organs than female. Anatomy lesson Why PIV sex doesn’t work for female orgasms Are you “should-ing” all over your sex life? We finish this episode with some coaching on our sex life – we use the “model” from The Life Coach School. If you want a good sex life you can’t be passive about it. What does a sexually satisfied woman do well? --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Join me to answer listeners questions, hear their success stories, learn about hormones, vaginal estrogen, preventing UTI, preventative medicine versus treating disease, libido, pain with sex, birth control versus hormones in perimenopause, and how to find a menopause doctor, oh, also....vaginal estrogen shortage in Canada!  What!! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices