You Are Not Broken

A rundown of my time in NYC, moderating a Sex Ed panel for "the New Pause" symposium hosted by Stripes and The Swell. https://theswell.com https://iamstripes.com Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes. www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Vanessa’s a licensed psychotherapist with 20 years of experience in the sex therapy field. Xander’s a regular dude who’s been married to a sex therapist for over a decade Their hot take on desire. Their top three causes of low libido that they see 1) Painful sex 2) Unpleasurable sex 3) Relationship issues “Our libido gets affected by everything in our lives” – Vanessa Marin “Is my life actually supporting my libido?” – Vanessa Marin Let’s talk about initiation – tips, couples get stuck in old scripts that stop working as relationships change “You get rejected once and you think you are unlovable” – Dr. Casperson “initiation should feel like an invitation” – Vanessa “Initiation takes a large amount of vulnerability” – Vanessa “There are a lot of unhealthy gender dynamics that come up with initiation” – Xander Marin According to their online poll, only 2% of breast owners like the “boob honk” as a way to initiate sex. Spouses who avoid talking about sex – they are writing a book! What to do when a partner stonewalls the conversation – don’t start with the problems. Connected to feel like sex or sex to feel connected – often one of each in a partnership At what point should couples consider bringing in a therapist? How to find out how much sex is “right” for someone’s relationship Woman says – he doesn’t care about my pleasure – what to do? Vibrator envy – help for the woman when the partner doesn’t understand and being able to advocate for your pleasure. Consent and the problem of “I just do it for him” Avoiding sex because of erectile dysfunction. They help us trouble shoot. 2023 new book! Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life Hardcover – February 7, 2023 https://www.instagram.com/vanessamarintherapy/ https://vmtherapy.com https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/pillow-talks/id1569466131?i=1000577319619 Sex Talks Book: Pre-Order - https://amzn.to/3CR8OT9 Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes. www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership Our podcast sponsor is Bonafide Bonafide products help women embrace the natural changes that occur throughout all phases of life. Discount code for 20% off: NOTBROKEN Sales link: https://hellobonafide.com/notbroken --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Listen to this very deep and vulnerable conversation I had with my friend Dr. Kathy Zhang on her podcast, The Purpose Filter. There are so many aspects to living a life of fulfillment, but what if there was one area of your life you could improve that would spill over into all others? Sounds like a bit of a life hack. Well, it is, and we want to share it with you on today’s episode. Is your sex life fulfilling, or are you just going through the motions? The empowerment you get from knowing what you want in the bedroom and being able to speak up and ask for it, or the ability to say no, when no means no, is a crucial element to all aspects of your life. If you can stand up for yourself in these very vulnerable and intimate situations, the empowerment that happens outside of the bedroom will come naturally. This all starts with you and your willingness to make a decision to uplevel your life and stop living on autopilot. “Should we care about the people who are sleeping with the people we are giving Viagra to?” “My husband died so now I need to take care of myself”. “It is easy to be average” “She just wants the damn thing to end – which is another reason that women fake orgasm” On faking orgasms - “He thinks it is the end of the party and you were never at the party.” “You can’t just give somebody desire. It is an inside job” “I think working on your sex life is the final frontier of personal growth.” “Everything you do to have a better sex life spills over to other aspects of your life” “What if my whole purpose in life is to tell people to use vaginal estrogen cream?” Tune in to hear how you can create more joy and abundance in your life! Topics discussed in this episode: • Dr. Casperson’s experience in a largely male dominated field • What is it like becoming the first doctor in the family • Bad advice Dr. Casperson received when she was becoming a doctor • Giving yourself permission to step into your power • Why your voice is important and unique • What was Dr. Casperson’s turning point to change the way she lived her life • Applying dying lessons now while we are living • Why women feel their pleasure and themselves are not a priority • How to move past shame and guilt surrounding sex and beyond • Going from being pulled along for the ride to getting into the driver seat • How young people should re-frame purpose • Sharing the gift of awareness and presence Connect with Dr. Kathy Zhang on Intagram https://www.instagram.com/purposefilter/ And on her website: https://luyikathyzhang.com/ Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes. www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Meet Glen Lovelace! I love his generosity toward helping men in relationships and his masculine energy on this podcast! He shares his story from desperate (even suicidal) plans to living a life of helping others live their best relationships. When women learn about their sexuality and get empowered, often they feel stuck because of a spouse who they fear is not open to change.  I wanted to bring on someone who literally deals with this as his job.  Glen helps men who's wives have been transformed in one way or another, usually by coaching education.  Glenn Lovelace is the wingman for men whose wives have transformed from coaching. He is a certified coach through the life coach school. Glenn has coached over 3,000 clients 1 on 1 since 2008. His transformation started with bodybuilding after being in a very low place in his life. He decided he needed to prioritize himself to be the best spouse and father he could be.  "It’s okay to be uncomfortable." How to “gently” change your partner (and remember you can’t change anyone who doesn’t want to be changed). 1) Show them how you have changed 2) Bring in a third party influencer 3) Learn how to speak the same language 4) Always remember you two are on the same team Roomate Syndrome – just existing together and losing touch why you love and are attracted to each other. If one person does their work, the marriage can get better. Your spouse is just there to love. Can couples start speaking the same language? Glen says yes! Intimacy not in the bedroom is important! Wanting your spouse to change for you to be happy is a toxic plan. Happy Wife Happy Life - it’s a lie and Glen explains how it wasn’t good for him. Each person is in charge of their own pleasure. Don’t assume what is needed in a situation - - Ask How to be a man worth desiring? Start dating and desiring your wife. Approach her how she wants to be approached. Date every week. Keep your commitments. There are seasons to your sexuality. Foundations of trust in a relationship - Security, trust, safety, stability The trouble with saying “divorce isn’t an option” Talk about your religion – what does your religion say about sex and marriage and how have you navigated any challenges? “Progress Creates Happiness” – Glen Lovelace https://glennlovelace.com/ https://www.instagram.com/itsyourwingman Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK Join my membership to get a jump start on the coaching you heard in this episode and to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes. www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

September Live Podcast – Why Couples Don’t Have Sex, Hormone Education, and More - Reassuring data on Estrogen and breast cancer - social media is associated with sex dysfunction - define erotica, why are we so scared of this word? - Why couples don’t have sex – thanks for the inspo www.instagram.com/yourdiagnonsense - top feelings in your fantasies - the more you focus on these the more you will enjoy sex, and the farther you get away - and if you aren’t getting these fulfilled, the more breaks you have on. And does society agree with your core feelings? It matters. -  Danish observational study on HT after BCa - What can I learn from boredom? - MHT and cholesterol changes Reassuring data regarding the use of hormone therapy at menopause and risk of breast cancer Pinkerton, JoAnn V.; Wilson, Carolyn S.; Kaunitz, Andrew M. Menopause. 29(9):1001-1004, September 2022. Cold S, Cold F, Jensen MB, Cronin-Fenton D, Christiansen P, Ejlertsen B. Systemic or Vaginal Hormone Therapy After Early Breast Cancer: A Danish Observational Cohort Study. J Natl Cancer Inst. 2022 Jul 20:djac112. doi: 10.1093/jnci/djac112. Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes. www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership Our podcast sponsor is Bonafide Bonafide products help women embrace the natural changes that occur throughout all phases of life. Discount code for 20% off:NOTBROKEN Sales link: https://hellobonafide.com/notbroken --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

A mindwork episode! Dr. Ubell is one of the first physician life coaches! She gained and lost the same 40 lbs at least 10 times since puberty and now helps women become a team with their body and stop obsessing over food using the power of mindwork.  She reached out to me to be on the podcast and at first I didn’t know how to connect the dots besides life coaching. I have a podcast episode called “sex while fat” – we are okay at any size. I was worried she just wanted to talk about losing weight. So I said Okay if we can talk about how mind work in her arena can also relate to a positive body image and sex life. Like my older episodes talking about money and sex – these topics are more related than we think because of our thoughts about them. “I am interested in people stopping hating themselves” – Dr. Ubell What is diet culture? The concept of mutual respect between you and your body. Can weight loss goals exist with body positivity? Shame is useless. “I haven’t had success so there must be something wrong with me” Dr. Ubell Why do we get numb or disconnected from our bodies? Over eating as a trauma response – sexual assault or childhood trauma – I got big to not feel or too attractive. Changing one’s identity requires changing our thoughts. Menopause and weight gain/loss – watch what you believe about this. Acceptance of our bodies as we get older. Entitlement thoughts! I feel so seen! I am entitled to my latte! How to stop invalidating your emotions Relationship with yourself and thoughts about yourself are important for both weight loss and sexuality. Get her book here! https://amzn.to/3AYTwtU https://katrinaubellmd.com/ https://www.facebook.com/katrinaubellmd/ https://www.instagram.com/coachkatrinaubellmd/ Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes. www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership Our podcast sponsor is Bonafide Bonafide products help women embrace the natural changes that occur throughout all phases of life. Discount code for 20% off:NOTBROKEN Sales link: https://hellobonafide.com/notbroken --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This was a Book Club I did with Dr. Rachel Rubin and Andrea Martin, NP last week.  Free first chapter on the website www.kellycaspersonmd.com  Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK  www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership  Our podcast sponsor is Bonafide Bonafide products help women embrace the natural changes that occur throughout all phases of life. Discount code for 20% off:NOTBROKEN Sales link: https://hellobonafide.com/notbroken --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dr. Soum Rakshit is the Co-Founder & CEO of award-winning sexual health company, MysteryVibe. Their mission is to make sexual health accessible to all – across all ages, genders & orientations. From his research & experiences over the past 2 decades, Soumyadip deeply understands that a major challenge in most people’s lives is keeping the ‘mystery’ alive in a long term relationship. This is especially the case after major life events like childbirth, menopause, cancer treatment or surgery. That’s why he decided to combine his defense electronics expertise with medical experts to create devices that address major sexual health issues like ED, dryness & pain during intercourse. At the same time, working closely with sexual health experts, his team has been at the forefront of researching & developing content that act as catalysts for people to start much-needed conversations to reignite their sex life. How did you get into sex toys? How he told his parents he went into a sex toy company. Only 1 in 4 people will see a doctor for their intimacy issues. “Pleasure is seen as a vice” Main barrier to selling sex toys when all social media bans sex. How does vibratory therapy work? Sexual health and how it is often overlooked when it comes to pre- and postmenopausal women. Are sex toys getting too complicated? What to do? How to maintain a sense of mystery in a long-term relationship. Advice for women in bringing a vibrator into the bedroom with a partner. https://mysteryvibe.com/ Rullo JE, Lorenz T, Ziegelmann MJ, Meihofer L, Herbenick D, Faubion SS. Genital vibration for sexual function and enhancement: best practice recommendations for choosing and safely using a vibrator. Sex Relation Ther. 2018;33(3):275-285. doi: 10.1080/14681994.2017.1419558. Epub 2018 Jan 4. Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes. www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

First I read from the recently published article, "The Anatomy of Female Sexual Arousal: Princess Marie Bonaparte, the Halban-Narjani Procedure, and the Art of Constantin Brancusi." Then I talk about seven different types of vibrators. Then I finish with a tragic case of motorcycle spring meets penis. Enjoy! 1. The OG - Hitachi Magic Wand. external, powerful and marketed as personal massagers 2. 𝗖𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗰 𝗽𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝘃𝗶𝗯𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘀 - put curve on them, call them G’Spot’ and raise the price ⁣ 3. 𝗖𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝘃𝗶𝗯𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘀 - these focus on external clitoral stimulation. Air pulse – Wevibe Melt – Best in class IMO. ⁣ 4. 𝗗𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝘃𝗶𝗯𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗸𝗮 "𝗥𝗮𝗯𝗯𝗶𝘁𝘀" - Work in and out at the same time. ⁣ 5. 𝗕𝘂𝗹𝗹𝗲𝘁 𝘃𝗶𝗯𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘀 - usually a "starter" vibrator for most folks. ⁣ 6. 𝗖𝗼𝘂𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘀 𝘃𝗶𝗯𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘀 - many many different types here. Eve by Dame is one that is "hands free", many strap onto a penis. ⁣ 7. 𝗔𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝘃𝗶𝗯𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿𝘀 - kinda self explanatory. Donnenfeld SR, Stanfield AV, Hammett J. The Anatomy of Female Sexual Arousal: Princess Marie Bonaparte, the Halban-Narjani Procedure, and the Art of Constantin Brancusi. Urology. 2022 Aug;166:18-21. doi: 10.1016/j.urology.2022.04.030. Epub 2022 May 7. PMID: 35537558. www.winkwinkboutique.com Thanks to https://www.instagram.com/drmilhouse for her recent vibrator post for the inspiration. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Did you get the You Are Not Broken Book Yet? https://amzn.to/3p18DfK Join my membership to get these episodes ASAP when they are created and without advertisement and even listen live to the interviews and episodes. www.kellycaspersonmd.com/membership Vaginal Lasers How a male can introduce my book to his female partner Unopposed Estrogen can cause harm Q&A from listeners: Genetic testing in 2017 and was positive for Lynch Syndrome. I was just diagnosed with uterine cancer yesterday. 43 years old and total hysterectomy in my very near future. Terrified about trying to get my hormone levels correct post surgery!! Any suggestions or recommendations? I’m a 38 y/old breast cancer survivor. I’m on estradiol, got all the fancy lubes, and now I’m curious about testosterone… People only seem to talk about estrogen for women, but my libido is nonexistent and penetrative sex is excruciating. Curious if testosterone also takes a hit while on hormone blocking meds post-cancer. I discuss this stuff with the oncologist but it feels trivial compared to the work they did to cure my cancer. However, my PCP won’t touch the hormone topic with me and defers to the oncologist because of my cancer history… thoughts/suggestions? I’ve gathered so much info from you about the estradiol cream and so much more than I got my gyn to prescribe the cream for me. I’d like to note that I am 59 and I have never had any problems with painful sex or any vaginal issues in the past. I applied the first dose both inside and a bit on the outside areas, it was fine with no noticeable changes. But 4 days later I applied the second dose, this time just inside and within a day or so I felt changes. My clitoral area was sensitive with discomfort and I experienced dryness in the outer labia like never before - not really painful but noticeable discomfort. I have not taken a third dose but I really want to be able to use this so I don’t shrivel up and go away LOL. I also was getting a few hot flashes and they really decreased after the first dose but are back now, although not as much. Is it possible that the discomfort will diminish after a while if I keep taking it? Would it be effective if I only applied it once weekly? I’m 58 and 2 years in menopause. I use an estrogen patch, progesterone, and a testosterone cream - thanks to you - but it’s not clear to me if my transdermal estrogen will protect the vulva from atrophy. Should I also be using an estrogen cream on my vulva in addition to my HRT regimen? I asked my doctor and she said creams for the vulva are only from lichen sclerosus, but that doesn’t sound right. Our podcast sponsor is Bonafide Bonafide products help women embrace the natural changes that occur throughout all phases of life. Discount code for 20% off:NOTBROKEN Sales link: https://hellobonafide.com/notbroken --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kj-casperson/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices