It Starts With Attraction

Have a question you want answered? Submit it here!Have you ever felt superior to your partner or viewed them through a critical lens because of their struggles? This episode could reshape your perspective. Today, I'm joined by my wonderful husband, Rob! We begin by unpacking the profound importance of true acceptance in marriages, sharing a poignant story of a friend's failing marriage to illustrate the corrosive effects of seeing a partner as "sick" or lesser. Through this narrative, we emphasize the necessity of meeting your spouse where they are and fostering a relationship built on equality and mutual respect.Next, we delve into the insidious nature of contempt and how it can dismantle the foundation of any relationship. We'll walk you through real-life scenarios where partners viewed each other as fundamentally flawed, leading to the erosion of respect and emotional distancing. By discussing the impacts of perceived intelligence and educational disparities, we reveal how overcoming these superiority complexes can pave the way for personal growth and healthier future relationships.Finally, we explore the bridge to full acceptance, drawing on insights from experts like Dr. Joe Beam and Dr. John Gottman. From navigating high-stress environments to rebuilding trust after deceit, we share our personal journey and highlight the gradual yet essential process of achieving mutual acceptance. We'll also touch on the critical role of intimacy in relationships, using the Triangulation of Love model to dissect how intimacy, commitment, and passion interconnect. Through personal anecdotes and practical advice, we offer a roadmap to fostering a strong, enduring marriage. Join us as we share our experiences and insights to help you navigate the complexities of acceptance in your relationships.Your Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and RelationshipsKimberly Beam Holmes has applied her master's degree in psychology for over ten years, acting as the CEO of Marriage Helper & CEO and Creator of PIES University, being a wife and mother herself, and researching how attraction affects relationships. Her videos, podcasts, and following reach over 500,000 people a month who are making changes and becoming the best they can be.🔗 Website: https://itstartswithattraction.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimberlybeamholmesFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@UC7gCCAhhQvD3MBpKpI_4g6w 📺 https://youtube.com/@UCEOibktrLPG4ufxidR8I4UQ

Have a question you want answered? Submit it here!The full episode releases on October 1st!Does contempt silently poison your relationship? Discover how a sense of superiority and lack of respect can erode intimacy and trust in marriages. My husband, Rob, and I share powerful stories of couples who faced these challenges and transformed their relationships through acceptance and understanding. Through real-life examples, including our own early struggles with acceptance, we reveal how recognizing and embracing your partner's flaws can pave the way to a healthier, more loving connection.Join us for a compelling discussion on the importance of seeing your spouse as an equally flawed human and the profound impact this perspective shift can have. From dealing with mental health issues to learning to cherish each other's differences, we offer valuable insights and personal anecdotes that highlight the importance of acceptance in maintaining a strong, compassionate relationship. Tune in to learn how to build a more genuine connection with your partner and heal the wounds that contempt may have caused.Your Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and RelationshipsKimberly Beam Holmes has applied her master's degree in psychology for over ten years, acting as the CEO of Marriage Helper & CEO and Creator of PIES University, being a wife and mother herself, and researching how attraction affects relationships. Her videos, podcasts, and following reach over 500,000 people a month who are making changes and becoming the best they can be.🔗 Website: https://itstartswithattraction.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimberlybeamholmesFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@UC7gCCAhhQvD3MBpKpI_4g6w 📺 https://youtube.com/@UCEOibktrLPG4ufxidR8I4UQ

Have a question you want answered? Submit it here!This episode was recorded in 2022.Unlock the secrets to a more fulfilling marriage with the insights of Dr. Corey Allan, a marriage and family therapist, licensed professional counselor, and author of "Naked Marriage: Uncovering Who You Are and Who You Can Be Together." Dr. Allan shares compelling research on the impact of religiosity on marital and sexual satisfaction, revealing how higher levels of religious dogma correlate with lower sexual satisfaction. Learn why open conversations about sex—even before tying the knot—are vital for overcoming shame and guilt from upbringings, and how these dialogues can pave the way for stronger relationships.Ever wondered why desire differences create friction in marriages? This episode sheds light on this often-taboo topic. Dr. Allan and I dig deep into how communication issues in relationships frequently extend to the bedroom, affecting both high and low desire partners. We challenge the stigma around lower desire and offer actionable strategies to better understand and respond to each other's needs. Discover how foreplay and connection can go beyond physical touch, and how reevaluating the quality of sexual experiences can help mitigate feelings of rejection and frustration.Looking to reignite the spark in your relationship? Dr. Allan offers practical advice on rebuilding intimacy and connection through honesty, emotional regulation, and leadership. We discuss a real-life story about a couple struggling with financial transparency and emphasize the importance of self-regulation in fostering trust. Learn how introducing novelty and spontaneity can enhance sexual intimacy and why staying present and attuned to your partner can lead to more fulfilling experiences. Don't miss the exploration of personal growth within marriage, as Dr. Allan shares insights from his book and podcast, "Sexy Marriage Radio," and highlights resources available through his online practice.Dr. Allan's site - https://smrnation.com/Naked Marriage book - https://amzn.to/3G9mpVmSubscribe to the Sexy Marriage Radio podcast: https://smrnation.com/subscribe/Your Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and RelationshipsKimberly Beam Holmes has applied her master's degree in psychology for over ten years, acting as the CEO of Marriage Helper & CEO and Creator of PIES University, being a wife and mother herself, and researching how attraction affects relationships. Her videos, podcasts, and following reach over 500,000 people a month who are making changes and becoming the best they can be.🔗 Website: https://itstartswithattraction.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimberlybeamholmesFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@UC7gCCAhhQvD3MBpKpI_4g6w 📺 https://youtube.com/@UCEOibktrLPG4ufxidR8I4UQ

Have a question you want answered? Submit it here!Can your menstrual cycle make or break your strength training progress? Today, we unlock the truth behind cycle-synced workouts and auto-regulation using the Rating of Perceived Exertion (RPE) scale. By examining how sleep, nutrition, and lifestyle intertwine with hormonal changes, we guide you on crafting a personalized fitness approach that navigates the highs and lows of your cycle. You’ll gain actionable insights on tracking your phases and adapting your workouts to maximize effectiveness and support your physical and emotional states.We also bust myths around exercise during perimenopause and post-menopause. Discover why high-intensity and strength training are non-negotiable for combating muscle and bone loss during these life stages. We delve into strategies for balancing high-intensity workouts with recovery to stay active and healthy. By acknowledging the unique experiences of menopausal women, we present a roadmap for maintaining fitness and well-being through tailored exercise routines. Tune in for a comprehensive discussion that empowers you to embrace your body's needs at every stage of life.Today's Guest: Dr. Alyssa OlenickDr. Alyssa Olenick holds a Ph.D. in Exercise Physiology is a certified sports nutritionist and Crossfit Level 2 Trainer. Alyssa completed her doctoral training in exercise and human metabolism, sex differences and menstrual cycle physiology. She is currently a postdoctoral research fellow researching the areas of menopause and metabolism. As a coach she specializes in the areas endurance, strength and hybrid training. She runs her online business ‘Doc Lyss Fitness’ and is a strength athlete, ultra-marathon runner, and all-around fitness lover who is passionate about educating people on science-based fitness to get them into the gyms and on the roads/trails — or often, doing both at the same time! You can learn more about Dr. Alyssa Olenick and her programs at www.doclyssfitness.com Your Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and RelationshipsKimberly Beam Holmes has applied her master's degree in psychology for over ten years, acting as the CEO of Marriage Helper & CEO and Creator of PIES University, being a wife and mother herself, and researching how attraction affects relationships. Her videos, podcasts, and following reach over 500,000 people a month who are making changes and becoming the best they can be.🔗 Website: https://itstartswithattraction.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimberlybeamholmesFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@UC7gCCAhhQvD3MBpKpI_4g6w 📺 https://youtube.com/@UCEOibktrLPG4ufxidR8I4UQ

Have a question you want answered? Submit it here!What drives relationships to their breaking point? In this episode, we uncover the intricate dynamics that influence the success and failure of romantic and personal connections. Discover what a 2017 study revealed about environmental stressors, trust issues, and personal challenges like depression. These critical predictors of relationship dissolution provide a comprehensive lens through which we can understand the complexities of human connections.I bring to light the common reasons couples grow apart, such as communication breakdowns and infidelity, and explore how these issues can severely affect mental health post-breakup. You'll also learn about the lasting impact of parental divorce on future relational trust and how fostering positive relationship experiences can mitigate anxiety and avoidance behaviors.Finally, we turn our focus to the building blocks of strong, enduring marriages. Mutual respect, compromise, and communication are essential, but how do preconceived notions about gender roles play into this? Hear real-life stories that illustrate the power of forgiveness and sensitivity in creating loving and loyal partnerships. We also emphasize the importance of commitment and respect, discussing how a strong marital foundation helps couples navigate life's challenges together. Join us as we offer valuable insights and practical advice for nurturing healthy, long-lasting relationships.Link to our research: https://bit.ly/3B50K26Link to the Forbes article:⏰ Time Stamps ⏰0:00 - Predictors of Relationship Dissolution2:46 - Contextual and Relationship-Level Predictors5:24 - Personal Experiences and Marriage Helper’s Teachings7:22 - Divorce Statistics and Reasons for Divorce9:28 - Cohabitation and Relationship Duration12:46 - Gender Differences in Perception of Relationship Problems15:30 - Impact of Past Experiences on Current Relationships23:10 - Characteristics of Loving and Loyal Marriages33:50 - Traditional and Non-Traditional Marriages34:13 - Protective Factors of Marital Stability36:27 - Global Perspectives on Marital Stability37:37 - Key Takeaways and Final ThoughtsYour Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and RelationshipsKimberly Beam Holmes has applied her master's degree in psychology for over ten years, acting as the CEO of Marriage Helper & CEO and Creator of PIES University, being a wife and mother herself, and researching how attraction affects relationships. Her videos, podcasts, and following reach over 500,000 people a month who are making changes and becoming the best they can be.🔗 Website: https://itstartswithattraction.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimberlybeamholmesFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@UC7gCCAhhQvD3MBpKpI_4g6w 📺 https://youtube.com/@UCEOibktrLPG4ufxidR8I4UQ

Have a question you want answered? Submit it here!Get ready to transform your fitness journey with insights from Dr. Alyssa Olenick, a certified sports nutritionist and exercise physiologist. Have you ever wondered how to fine-tune your workouts for maximum efficiency? In this episode, you'll uncover the secrets of zone two training, strength training, and the nuances of fasting as it relates to exercise. Dr. Olenick’s extensive research on human metabolism, especially concerning sex differences and menstrual cycle physiology, will shed light on optimizing fitness routines for both men and women.Dr. Olenick takes us on an exploration of cardiovascular fitness and fat-burning thresholds, explaining how training zones can enhance mitochondrial efficiency and cardiovascular health. You'll also learn practical ways to incorporate zone two training into your routine without breaking the bank on fancy equipment. We discuss the 80-20 rule in endurance training and how to balance high-intensity workouts with lower-intensity sessions to achieve optimal results tailored to your fitness level.We dive into the complexities of balancing extreme endurance training with strength training, especially if you're gearing up for an ultra marathon. Dr. Olenick shares essential tips for women on navigating training around menstrual cycles and menopause, debunking myths and emphasizing personalized approaches. Finally, we dissect the benefits and potential pitfalls of CrossFit, and discuss the intricate relationship between nutrition and fasting for women athletes. This episode is packed with expert advice that promises to elevate your fitness game.Zones CalculatorZones Mini-GuideYour Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and RelationshipsKimberly Beam Holmes has applied her master's degree in psychology for over ten years, acting as the CEO of Marriage Helper & CEO and Creator of PIES University, being a wife and mother herself, and researching how attraction affects relationships. Her videos, podcasts, and following reach over 500,000 people a month who are making changes and becoming the best they can be.🔗 Website: https://itstartswithattraction.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimberlybeamholmesFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@UC7gCCAhhQvD3MBpKpI_4g6w 📺 https://youtube.com/@UCEOibktrLPG4ufxidR8I4UQ

Have a question you want answered? Submit it here!Full Episode Releases September 10th!Ever wondered why Zone 2 training is the secret weapon for boosting mitochondrial health and not just another buzzword in fitness? Join us as we unlock the science behind exercise intensities and navigate through the five distinct training zones. You'll discover where Zone 2 fits in—just below the first lactate threshold—keeping fat oxidation high and preventing lactate buildup. We break down how heart rate can be used as an indirect measure of these zones and emphasize the importance of understanding individual physiological differences. We also delve into how your fitness level dictates when lactate begins to accumulate, influencing the effectiveness of your workouts.Maximizing your Zone 2 training can drastically enhance mitochondrial efficiency and build essential physiological systems. We'll reveal why lower-intensity exercise harnesses fat for energy, unlike high-intensity workouts that shift towards carbohydrates. Understand the crossover concept, where your body transitions from burning fat to carbohydrates, and get insights into sex differences in exercise. Premenopausal women, in particular, may have an edge in fat oxidation during sub-maximal exercise. We also explore the mitochondrial capacity in female training, comparing moderately trained females to their male counterparts, and discuss why training status and response are crucial for metabolic health. Don't miss out on this comprehensive guide to mastering Zone 2 training and optimizing your fitness journey.Your Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and RelationshipsKimberly Beam Holmes has applied her master's degree in psychology for over ten years, acting as the CEO of Marriage Helper & CEO and Creator of PIES University, being a wife and mother herself, and researching how attraction affects relationships. Her videos, podcasts, and following reach over 500,000 people a month who are making changes and becoming the best they can be.🔗 Website: https://itstartswithattraction.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimberlybeamholmesFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@UC7gCCAhhQvD3MBpKpI_4g6w 📺 https://youtube.com/@UCEOibktrLPG4ufxidR8I4UQ

Have a question you want answered? Submit it here!Have you ever felt so exhausted by your job that even weekends don’t seem to recharge you? Join us as we unravel the complexities of burnout, a global crisis impacting two-thirds of workers, with insights grounded in both personal experiences and scientific studies. Discover how burnout isn’t just confined to the workplace but can also arise from academic pressures and volunteer roles.Explore the pivotal role of cortisol, the stress hormone, in this phenomenon. We dig into how cortisol's balance—or lack thereof—affects our physical and mental health. Drawing parallels with athletic training, we introduce the PIES model to categorize the effects of burnout and stress, emphasizing the necessity of early recognition and intervention. You'll hear about our personal anecdotes, offering a relatable perspective on the toll of chronic stress and the critical need for effective management strategies, including mindfulness and exercise.Arm yourself with actionable strategies to combat burnout, from progressive muscle relaxation techniques to the benefits of spiritual practices. Learn about disconcerting statistics from a 2024 study on US physicians’ vacation habits, underscoring the urgent need for adequate rest. Finally, we present seven practical methods to alleviate burnout and encourage you to commit to at least one of these strategies for a healthier, more balanced life. Prioritize your well-being with these expert tips and personal stories that bring our discussion to life.Your Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and RelationshipsKimberly Beam Holmes has applied her master's degree in psychology for over ten years, acting as the CEO of Marriage Helper & CEO and Creator of PIES University, being a wife and mother herself, and researching how attraction affects relationships. Her videos, podcasts, and following reach over 500,000 people a month who are making changes and becoming the best they can be.🔗 Website: https://itstartswithattraction.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimberlybeamholmesFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@UC7gCCAhhQvD3MBpKpI_4g6w 📺 https://youtube.com/@UCEOibktrLPG4ufxidR8I4UQ

Have a question you want answered? Submit it here!Full episode available September 3rd!Could understanding the role of cortisol be the key to preventing burnout? Join us as we unpack the intricate relationship between this crucial hormone and burnout, guided by the World Health Organization's definition of the condition. We promise you'll gain insights into the three dimensions of burnout: energy depletion, increased mental distance or negativity towards one's job, and reduced professional efficacy. We discuss how burnout extends beyond traditional workplaces, affecting high-demand roles in academia and volunteer positions. Delve into the science of cortisol's role in stress response, metabolism, inflammation, blood sugar regulation, and the sleep-wake cycle, and explore the ongoing debate over whether burnout is linked to high or low cortisol levels.In this episode, we also share personal stories and reflections about recognizing and addressing burnout. Hear firsthand about the overwhelming challenge of returning to work after a four-month sabbatical. The physical and emotional signs of burnout, such as the intense fatigue from back-to-back meetings and the crushing weight of expectations, are highlighted to emphasize the importance of listening to your body and setting boundaries. Whether you're navigating a high-demand job or managing a packed schedule, these insights and the role of cortisol will equip you with the knowledge to maintain your well-being and professional efficacy. Tune in to understand better the physiological underpinnings of burnout and its implications for your overall health.Your Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and RelationshipsKimberly Beam Holmes has applied her master's degree in psychology for over ten years, acting as the CEO of Marriage Helper & CEO and Creator of PIES University, being a wife and mother herself, and researching how attraction affects relationships. Her videos, podcasts, and following reach over 500,000 people a month who are making changes and becoming the best they can be.🔗 Website: https://itstartswithattraction.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimberlybeamholmesFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@UC7gCCAhhQvD3MBpKpI_4g6w 📺 https://youtube.com/@UCEOibktrLPG4ufxidR8I4UQ

Have a question you want answered? Submit it here!Can our past really dictate the health of our current relationships? Join us in this enlightening episode where we uncover the profound influence of unresolved emotions on our interactions today. With Dr. Chip Dodd, an esteemed expert in emotional and spiritual counseling, we explore how understanding and managing our feelings can be the key to personal and relational well-being. Dr. Dodd shares his pioneering spiritual root system philosophy, blending ancient wisdom with modern neuroscience to explain how our hearts govern our experiences and relationships.Through heartfelt stories and practical advice, we dive deep into emotional regulation, the importance of processing feelings, and the power of resonance and revision in building trust. From navigating the complexities of marriage to understanding the four essential questions that help manage emotions, we emphasize the necessity of addressing emotional history to cultivate healthier connections. Dr. Dodd's insights are complemented by relatable anecdotes, including the impact of childhood experiences on adult relationships, revealing the intricate dynamics of emotional responsibility and empathy.In our journey towards emotional healing, we highlight the shared humanity that binds us all, emphasizing the resilience of the human heart. Discover how identifying and expressing emotions truthfully can foster genuine connections and mutual understanding. We also discuss valuable resources such as 12-step groups for emotional support, underscoring the importance of finding trustworthy individuals to share vulnerabilities with. This episode offers a transformative perspective on emotional well-being, encouraging listeners to embrace their feelings for a more connected and compassionate life.Today's Guest: Dr. Chip DoddThe Voice of the Heart BookChip Dodd's PodcastsThe Boy & The Ogre: Finding Freedom From CodependencyYour Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and RelationshipsKimberly Beam Holmes has applied her master's degree in psychology for over ten years, acting as the CEO of Marriage Helper & CEO and Creator of PIES University, being a wife and mother herself, and researching how attraction affects relationships. Her videos, podcasts, and following reach over 500,000 people a month who are making changes and becoming the best they can be.🔗 Website: https://itstartswithattraction.com📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kimberlybeamholmesFollow our other channels!📺 https://youtube.com/@UC7gCCAhhQvD3MBpKpI_4g6w 📺 https://youtube.com/@UCEOibktrLPG4ufxidR8I4UQ