The podcast discusses the flaws in celebrity memoirs, the impact of top athletes' TV interviews, and the power of well-written memoirs. It highlights David Foster Wallace's critique of Tracy Austin's memoir and delves into the contrast between ghostwritten and skilled writer memoirs.

Here’s what I learned from My Fair Junkie by Amy Dresner: Amy Dresner is the second memoirist I’ve read who had a life changing moment with a breathwork teacher—Glennon Doyle was the first, in Love Warrior. So I found a breathwork person near me and did it! I don’t know if it was life changing but I definitely had a moment.  Character intros should have lots of specific details, and don’t be afraid to make them long, like three or four sentences.  A rule about parentheticals: they should always only be hilarious. Lots of examples of how to not write your feelings or your own commentary to the story, especially when the dialogue is gold (as it was in Amy’s story).  And a quick update on my memoir!

Here's what I learned from Lost & Found by Kathryn Schulz: Create tension by pairing repetition with opposites. Add playfulness by pairing something literal with something figurative.  Show don’t tell: how can you show us you’re crying without telling us? Also… an update on my memoir!

Here’s what I learned from In The Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado: I can write a cohesive story that is made up of little stories, all strung together with a unifying theme.  When writing about moments of inebriation or vulnerability, it’s funny to include present-tense comments of your thoughts at the time, like a question you thought, or something ridiculous that would not make sense if you were sober.  Metaphors don’t need to be explicitly explained, as long as there's context surrounding it.  Surprise your reader with a different format at some point in the book: in this case, she did a whole section of Choose Your Own Adventure. When you find it difficult to explain something, analogies are a great tool.

Here's what I learned from A Life's Work by Rachel Cusk: -Sometimes your experience of something is enough, sometimes it’s all there is. You don’t have to share wisdom or lessons; you could just tell people what happened, and there's value in that. -When you include disclaimers you water down the thing you were trying to say. It takes away from the truth and makes you unrelatable. -Write unsparingly about yourself means to ONLY write unsparingly about yourself. You don't then try to redeem yourself after the fact. Just say the shitty thing and move on. When you try to redeem yourself it makes you unlikeable. -When you write an analogy, the more parallels you can make the more vivid the analogy becomes. -In a run-on sentence it's funny if you can add a conflicting statement—I want this but I also want the opposite of this. Also, the run-on sentence is more powerful if either the sentences just before or after are really short. -If you want to tell a story that involves another person but you don't want to include them, you don't have to! You can leave them out completely, or, you can make it known that they were there but then still leave them out of the story. If the person doesn't add any relevance to your story, if their presence is more distracting than anything else, just leave them out.

Sam is back! And Charlie sucks at parenting.

Here’s what I learned from The Liars’ Club by Mary Karr: If I want to tell stories from my past that involve family members, I can ask them how they remember the same story and include their perspective by saying things like, “If I gave my big sister a paragraph here, she would correct my memory. To this day, she claims…” or “Lecia says that…” or “My sister says this never happened.”  I can tell my truth and honor my story while and also share my family’s perspective. It’s not 'I’m right and they’re wrong,' it’s 'here’s how I remember it and here’s how my family remembers it.'

Here’s what I learned from Cheryl Strayed: “The hardest part about memoir is the unfortunate fact that other people exist.” Every time she writes about anyone other than herself she asks herself a series of questions— Will this hurt our relationship?  Will this unfairly invade someone's privacy?  Will I be able to tell this story in such a way that is both deeply rooted in my truth and also acknowledging that that person I'm writing about would tell a different version of this story?  Do I have the right to tell their story, even if it's just through my perspective?  Will invading their privacy harm them or hurt them?  Cheryl wrote a longform essay titled Two Women Walk Into A Bar, available in early January 2024. It’s about her mother-in-law who recently passed away. They had a troubled relationship and Cheryl had to navigate how to tell their story with kindness at its center.  “Don’t be afraid of the dark stuff, because the beautiful stuff is there, too.” The secret of memoir: when you can ask a universal question and tie it to your own personal question.  Cheryl’s personal question for Wild: How can I live without my mom? Her universal question: How do we go on when we've lost someone who's essential to us? Cheryl explains how to find and cultivate your authentic voice.  She ends by answering the following question from the audience:  How can I write a book if my family says I'm crazy and that “it didn't happen"? In short, she says your family members are not your audience, and your book is not for them.  — The first memoir deep dive I did was on Cheryl Strayed’s Wild in Episode 22. Listen here.

Here's what I learned from What Remains by Carole Radziwill: -The best prologue I’ve read so far because of her journalistic style of writing.  -Structure is so important. It should be seamless, unnoticeable; surprising but not confusing. Never linear.  -Rather than attempt to describe visceral moments from my life where I’ve “cried so hard,” I can skip them altogether.   -Facts are more shocking than trying to describe the shocking thing. -A strong ending: circled back to the prologue and then closed with a flashback.

Memoir deep dive #8 Here’s what I learned from The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls: -When you leave out thoughts and feelings it evokes big emotions from the reader. -Action and dialogue drive a story—not thoughts and feelings. -If you want to drop a bomb, bury it. Make it subtle, within a sentence. Say it and move on.  -A long list can evoke big emotions. -Include moments of resolution, when something difficult has occurred that has made me determined and focused about myself or my future. -Want a strong ending? End with a callback metaphor.