Shameless Leadership

Heather Boorman-Morris, LCSW lives a life of truth-telling, compassion, and curiosity. She dedicates her professional work to advocate for individual and systemic wellness, and does so through her writing, speaking, and outpatient therapy practice specializing in trauma and neurodiversity. After awakening to the truth that she had been living in an abusive relationship for two decades, Heather expanded her advocacy work to challenge society’s inaccurate conceptions of who gets abused and what abusers look like.Her latest book, A Thousand Paper Cuts, brings readers inside the mind, heart, and experiences of a victim of covert narcissistic abuse. With raw vulnerability, Heather shares her story, from love bombing to devaluing to freedom, highlighting the destructiveness an abuser can have without ever raising his fist.Over the last few years, different forms of narcissism and abuse in the form of coercive control have come on my radar. This kind of abuse is among the most dangerous forms of abuse because of how long it takes victims to realize they are being abused. I know people who have experienced this form of abuse in their marriages and in family relationships such as mother/daughter relationships. Because these kinds of abusers are so charming and charismatic to the outside world, their victims often feel they will not be believed if they share their abuse. And so they keep quiet for years, if not decades.  When Heather reached out to me to talk about her experience in getting out of a marriage where she was the victim of what I now know is called covert narcissistic abuse as well as her professional experience as a therapist uncovering the data around this kind of abuse, I immediately said yes. This conversation is so important. It is very likely that you know someone enduring a relationship with a covert narcissist.  Listen in to hear Heather share: How narcissism personality disorder exists on a spectrum and the difference between overt and covert narcissism  How she got involved in a relationship with a narcissist and what the coercive control looked like from the very beginning of their relationship What narcissists are looking for when they seek out partners How she recognized 19 years into her marriage that she was in an abusive relationship The vulnerability and massive fear of engaging her family and friends to help her see how she had been gaslit over the years How she finally got out of her marriage Her decision to write about her story  What someone can do if they think they are in an abusive relationship with a narc/covert abuser Links mentioned: Get information about my September Influence & Ignite Retreat for Women Business Owners: shamelessmom.com/retreat Connect with Heather: www.heatherboormanmorris.com Book: A Thousand Paper Cuts Podcast with Heather and Antwan: www.startingstronger.com Heather’s Podcast: www.thefringybit.com Heather on Facebook Instagram:@ startingstrongerpodcast and @thefringybit We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsorInterested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Two years ago, I did my first triathlon in 18 years. It was an incredible experience - one that I seriously considered postponing for another year. Life was hectic in the summer of 2022 and we were traveling for part of the summer. I knew my training would be imperfect and somewhat cobbled together. I had to choose between making this a 12-month goal or a two month (very imperfect) goal. I opted for the latter. Whether you're working toward a new goal or returning to an old one, I encourage you to reflect on how you're approaching your goal. Your perspective and approach will significantly influence your experience and outcomes.When I competed in triathlons 18-22 years ago, it was a tremendous amount of work and stress. Much of the training felt like a grind, and the entire process was constantly intense.At the age of 46, and having been away from the sport for so long, you might expect that the intensity and stress would return when I started training again. However, that was not the case.This time, I was very intentional about my approach to this goal. By focusing on enjoying the journey, I was able to savor every moment of training and every second of race day. This shift in perspective made a profound difference in my experience.In this Greatest Hits episode, I talk you through how you can make a scary goal more approachable and less scary so you can give yourself permission to go after what you want without the weight of fear, doubt, and perfectionism holding you back for the entire journey.Link mentioned: Get information about my September Influence & Ignite Retreat for Women Business Owners: shamelessmom.com/retreatWe love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsorInterested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Featured in leading publications like CEO Magazine and Luxury Lifestyle Magazine, Kevin Loeffler (they/themme) is the Founder and CEO of Finally Kevin!, an inspirational Gender Identity speaker, and author of the upcoming book, "Finally Kevin” (Spring 2025). Kevin's unique journey allows audiences of all generations to understand what gender identity is and, just as importantly, what it is not. Kevin empowers parents and community leaders, regardless of age or background, with the knowledge necessary to increase authentic allyship skills for their gender-diverse loved ones. For almost 50 years, Kevin lived as the person they thought their parents, wives, children, and employers wanted them to be, never daring to be their authentic selves in front of any of them. Their heartwarming story of choosing to live as their transparent self by announcing their gender identity to the world at the age of 63 has landed them numerous media and speaking opportunities. I was introduced to Kevin by friend of the SMA and past guest of the show, Elena Joy Thurston. While Kevin and I recorded this episode a few months ago, I saved it to release during Pride Month because it feels like the perfect closing to this special month. Happy Pride to all our LGBTQIA+ community members. We love you and want you to be 100% you 100% of the time.  Listen in to hear Kevin share: How Kevin became Finally Kevin! and what their transformation as a non-binary person has looked like  What led them to start to live their femme tendencies out loud after 50 years The interconnectedness between shame and addiction in Kevin’s life  The difference between gender identity and sexual orientation The beauty and power of being able to finally “get out of bed free”  What life feels like to finally be Kevin after 50 years of stifling Kevin How LinkedIn became the safe place for Kevin to begin to own their identity publicly Links mentioned: Kevin’s Programs and Resources: Finallykevin.com Kevin on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kevinmloeffler Kevin on FB: https://www.facebook.com/kmloeffler/ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsorInterested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Speaking up for ourselves, others, our ideas, and important issues can feel pretty uncomfortable, if not downright scary. Speaking up is a skill, that takes practice - like a muscle that must be built and strengthened over time.  In this Greatest Hits episode, I share about an event where I spoke a couple of years ago. After my session, there was time for Q&A and the question folks kept circling back to was, “How do I start to speak up so I can play a bigger game?” A number of attendees noted they were so in the habit of not speaking up that they didn’t know where or how to start using their voices.  Because women have been socialized to stay small and quiet, if can take extra effort (and bravery!) to actually use our voices.  I gave these women three simple, low-risk steps to start practicing speaking up: Practice stating your preferences out loud  Practice stating your needs out loud Practice sharing opposing opinions in neutral ways  These steps are intended to be practiced over time, in this order. Start out with low-risk/low exposure steps. The stakes are typically pretty low when you’re stating a preference: “I prefer pepperoni pizza to sausage & mushroom.” Or, “I would prefer to watch Movie ABC vs Movie XYZ this evening.”Once you’ve practiced this a few times, try to share a need with a loved one: “I need some time to myself, so I’m going to take myself to lunch and a movie this weekend.” Practice this a few times.  Once you’ve practiced these lower-stakes ways of speaking up, you can start to test higher-stakes ways of speaking up. This is where you can start to practice sharing an opposing opinion in a neutral way, “Thank you for sharing your opinion/experience. That hasn’t been my experience.” Or, “Thank you for sharing your opinion/experience. I see it differently.” Make sure to listen in to the episode to learn how to do #3 safely, this part is important!The goal is to build your “Speak Up muscle” and then continually strengthen it over time. The outcomes you can expect include: feeling seen and heard, experiencing a stronger sense of power and autonomy, realizing your voice matters and can impact others and inspire change, and enjoying a sense of freedom over owning and honoring your voice. While speaking up can feel scary, I promise it is well worth it!We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsorInterested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is a Greatest Hits episode especially chosen in celebration of Juneteenth which is today, June 19th. This interview is from the first time I interviewed Jasmine in 2020. Little did I know that she would become a trusted friend and colleague. Jasmine is the first race educator from whom I learned about Juneteenth, well before it became a national holiday. I am sharing this episode with you in hopes that you talk to your kids about race today in celebration of Juneteenth.  Jasmine Bradshaw is a researcher, educator, and podcaster who truly believes that creating a more loving, inclusive, and just society starts within the sacred walls of our homes. Her podcast, First Name Basis, exists to give parents the tools they need to teach their children about race, religion, and culture. Her community makes parents feel empowered and gives them the confidence they need to create lasting change in their sphere of influence.Listen in to hear Jasmine share: Why and how race exists as a social construct How to have early conversations about race and skin tone with your kids How to lay the groundwork for conversations about race in order to have deeper, more difficult conversations with kids as they get older How to talk to your child’s school about their efforts toward diversity and inclusion How to talk to your child’s school about the versions of American history they teach How to be a better anti-racist in order to teach your children to be anti-racists How you can move from good intentions to confident action in your anti-racism work Links mentioned:  Connect with Jasmine: Firstnamebasis.org Jasmine’s Podcast: First Name Basis Jasmine on IG Join Jasmine’s Patreon: patreon.com/firstnamebasis First Name Basis Juneteenth Episode: What is Juneteenth? Purchase Juneteenth Jubilee at the First Name Basis Online Store Teaching Tolerance Resources: https://www.tolerance.org/ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsorInterested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Marisa Peters is a rectal cancer survivor, women’s health thought leader, and founder of BE SEEN. Marisa was diagnosed with Stage 3 rectal cancer in 2021 when she was 39 years old despite being an otherwise healthy and active mother of three young boys. She is on a mission to help other people take their colorectal health very seriously because it is, well, very serious. This conversation was so informative and, dare I say, even fun! The timing could not have been more perfect as we recorded this right before I was scheduled for my second colonoscopy as someone who has a family history of colon cancer. This gave Marisa and me much content for fodder!  Friends, listen to this episode, go sign the BE SEEN Pledge, and then get yourself scheduled for a colonoscopy. This is critical self-care. Listen in to hear Marisa share: Symptoms of colon cancer to be looking for: blood loss through poop, increased urine urge, stomach pain, extreme fatigue  What you should be asking your doctor for if you have any concerns about color-tectal symptoms Her journey of being dismissed by doctors as she experienced symptoms over the course of 5.5 years before finally being diagnosed Your different options for your colonoscopy prep What to expect during your first colonoscopy How she talked to and continues to talk to her children about her cancer diagnosis and treatment What family support looked like and how they had to learn how to receive support as people who were used to being the givers of support in their community How to hold space for family and friends after they have gone through treatment - when they may be cancer free, but are still recovering physically and emotionally Why you and your family should take the BE SEEN Pledge to take steps toward maintaining colorectal health Links mentioned: Connect with Marisa and Be Seen: beseen.care Take the Be Seen Pledge: https://beseen.care/take-the-be-seen-pledge Marisa and Be Seen on IG Marisa and Be Seen on FB Marisa on LinkedIn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Last week I had the opportunity to head to campus for 3 days as part of my graduate school experience. While much of my program is online, from time to time I will have the chance to head to campus for these 3-day immersive experiences. I was so excited for this first chance to be on campus and meet some of my professors and classmates.  When entering a new space, there is always some discomfort. I felt that on the first morning as I entered the classroom. I sat with that discomfort for a bit and really listened to it. As I listened inward throughout our first morning, my discomfort gradually shifted to excitement. I could feel in my bones that I was in exactly the place I was meant to be.  I’ve had a few days to think about this experience of stepping into something new, unfamiliar, and uncomfortable. I realized there are some important pieces of how I navigated this discomfort that can be helpful to anyone entering a new experience or environment.  In this episode, I walk you through my experience in this class situation while also offering key insights into how you can step into new experiences and quickly discern if it's the right place for you right now, how to navigate your discomfort, how to shift anxiety into excitement, and how to create space for the growth opportunities that will likely open up for you.  We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsorInterested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s episode showcases three guests currently featured in the new documentary, Conversion. This critical documentary exposes the deep trauma conversion therapy causes our LGBTQIA+ community members. Often conversion therapy is veiled as something far different from what it is. This interview and the movie expose the insidiousness and prevalence of conversion therapy in our communities today. I am so honored to have been given the opportunity to interview Elena Joy Thurston, Zach Meiners, and Dustin Rayburn to talk about their incredible movie.Elena Joy Thurston, she/her, is the CEO of LATITUDE, a boutique HR consultancy that specializes in creating psychological safety on corporate teams. Her viral TEDx talk on surviving conversion therapy, with over 45,000 views, propelled her exposure, resulting in media spots on ABC, CBS, and FOX. Zach Meiners, he/him, is the founder, President, and Creative Director of Chronicle Cinema, a full service media production company, where he has produced national ad campaigns, corporate events, and award-winning entertainment. Dustin Rayburn, they/them, is a performer and activist best known by their stage name, Dusty Ray Bottoms. Dusty gained notoriety on season 10 of the Emmy Award Winning TV Show RuPaul's Drag Race.Listen in to hear Elena Joy, Zach, and Dustin share: What conversion therapy is  Their personal experiences with conversion therapy What conversion therapy looks like and the insidiousness of covert conversion therapy The retraumatization of realizing you went through conversation therapy without even knowing that’s what it was How being part of the creation of this documentary has been healing for each of them How conversion therapy changes the brain in a way that doesn’t allow for closure in healing - meaning the healing is ongoing and forever What parents should know about conversion therapy as it relates to their kids and the other kids in our respective communities How to show allyship through your commitment to learning about LGBTQIA+ issues Links mentioned: Preorder Conversion: https://tv.apple.com/us/movie/conversion/umc.cmc.75rmpixysv3qoksxyus5zq9rr Watch the Conversion Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=U50wbO3MfANkAxdQ&v=oyLEJtQ6MTI&feature=youtu.be More info on the Conversion doc: https://www.conversionmovie.com/ Elena Joy on SMA Episode 595: Living Out Loud After Enduring Life Threatening Conversion Therapy Conversion movie on IG Elena Joy on IG Dustin on IG Zach on IG We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsorInterested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Work-life balance is not a thing. Not only is it not a thing, but the idea of it is founded on a lie. It is an idea and philosophy that the Patriarchy feeds to women as something to be desired, something to be attained, something to aspire to.  As feminism has evolved over the last few decades, many of us have been told that, “This is your time! Finally, women can have it all.” Sounds great in theory. But we have been given no resources and no support. But without resources, support, and systemic restructuring (philosophical and logistical) there is no way for this to be lived. It’s an idea and a lie that allows the Patriarchy to look like they care. Cute, huh?We have been conditioned that because we can have it all, we should go after it all. And then once we go after it all and fill every millimeter and pore of our metaphorical plates, we should also keep it all balanced in some picture-perfect mathematical ratio - as if our lives are as simple as some sort of formula or squeaky clean quadratic equation.  We are told if we have better balance, we wouldn’t be so stressed out all the time.  We are told if we have better balance, we will be better moms and our kids will be more likely to thrive.  We are told we are lucky to live in an era where we can work full time (if not more) and also parent full time - cramming 48 hours of work into every 24-hour day.  Because we are told this lie is true and possible, we are left to feel inadequate, guilty, and resentful when we cannot figure out how to make it work.  When we are working, we feel guilty that we aren’t parenting. When we are parenting, we feel guilty that we aren’t working.  If you feel like you don’t have a work-life balance, it’s because there is no such thing. You are not the only one who feels inadequate in your constant journey toward this farce. Millions of us are standing beside you. And, we are tired too.  This Greatest Hits episode is an invitation to exhale, see a new truth, and give yourself permission to start living in a reality that allows you to release all feelings of failure and inadequacy because they were never yours to own.  We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsorInterested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Parijat Deshpande is the founder and CEO of Ruvelle, the only trauma-informed wellness company specifically dedicated to improving high-risk pregnancy outcomes, reducing preterm birth, and supporting parents on the entire high-risk pregnancy journey. On a mission to end the high-risk pregnancy crisis, she has served and supported thousands of clients through her live events, one-on-one work, her bestselling book, Pregnancy Brain: A Mind-Body Approach to Stress Management During a High-Risk Pregnancy, and the Body Language Journal.I am thrilled to welcome Parijat back to the show as a second-time guest. I have watched her work evolve over the years since she was last on the show and I had a sense that now is just the right time to have her come back - this time to talk about traumatic stress and collective trauma.  Listen in to hear Parijat share: Her path to working in women’s health and serving women who are enduring health trauma The significance of trauma-informed medical care and where we are currently going wrong without it What it’s like for people with medical trauma to navigate the world without people understanding their experience How the pandemic created a situation of global collective trauma that we are still very much living in What needs to happen for us to heal from collective trauma When we don’t have collective safety, how we can find support at any given moment by addressing our own physiological needs  How we have shifted from living in collective trauma to living in a collective functional freeze What trauma-sensitive medical care actually looks like Links mentioned: Connect with Parijat and Ruvelle: www.ruvelle.com Parijat and Ruvelle on IG We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://shamelessmom.com/sponsorInterested in becoming a sponsor of the Shameless Mom Academy? Email our sales team at sales@adalystmedia.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices