Start with Small Steps

Money doesn’t just live in your bank account—it lives in your gut, your sleep, and your sense of safety. What if saving wasn’t about restriction, but about relief? This episode breaks down how emergency savings can completely change your relationship with money.In this episode, the conversation explores how deeply emotional money can be and how fear, panic, and avoidance often shape financial decisions more than logic ever does. Drawing from lived experience and insights from Get Good With Money by Tiffany Aliche, the discussion walks through practical, realistic ways to build emergency savings, reduce anxiety, and regain control. The focus isn’t on becoming wealthy overnight, but on creating stability, resilience, and peace of mind through intentional saving and smarter systems.Top Topics CoveredThe Emotional Cost of MoneyMoney problems often show up as panic, dread, and sleepless nights. When bills arrive or emergencies hit, the lack of savings can trigger fear and avoidance. Understanding that money is emotional—not just mathematical—is the first step toward change.Emergency Savings and the “Squirrel” MindsetEmergency savings are framed as protection, not deprivation. Using the analogy of squirrels storing acorns during good times, the episode emphasizes saving when life is calm so emergencies don’t lead straight to debt and chaos.The Power of the First $1,000Building even a small emergency fund can break the cycle of constant debt. Once there’s a buffer, unexpected expenses no longer require credit cards, and financial momentum finally begins to shift.The Noodle BudgetA “noodle budget” identifies the bare minimum needed to survive if everything goes wrong. Knowing this number removes fear and clarifies how much flexibility actually exists in everyday spending.Automating Savings and Separating AccountsAutomating savings and separating money into purpose-driven accounts removes decision fatigue and emotional stress. Bills get paid, savings grow quietly, and spending money becomes clear and guilt-free.Key TakeawaysEmergency savings create calm, not limitation. Having money set aside reduces panic, improves sleep, and allows better decisions during crises. Over time, savings transform money from a source of fear into a tool for freedom.Priorities matter more than appearances. By focusing on what truly brings value—rather than constant small purchases—long-term goals like security, retirement, and meaningful experiences become possible.Money works best when it’s intentional and invisible. Systems that move money automatically make consistency easier than willpower ever could.

They explore how fear and childhood experiences shape financial behavior and create avoidance. Budgeting is reframed as honest awareness rather than restriction. Simple categories and automation are presented as stress-reducing systems. Practical tips cover capturing hidden expenses, trimming subscriptions, negotiating bills, and using separate accounts to protect progress.

Listeners hear about a grandmother’s hidden immigrant hardships and why uncovering family history matters. The conversation contrasts modern suffering with past generational trials to widen perspective. It explores where to find real-life stories—from senior centers to memoirs—and emphasizes small actions and ordinary resilience as tools for carrying difficult times.

265: The Power of Pretending: How Psychological Halloweenism Can Improve Your LifeIn this episode, we explore a fascinating and unexpected idea: pretending your way into better choices. It might sound counterintuitive, especially in a culture that champions authenticity. But what if tapping into a different persona, even temporarily, could make you braver, healthier, and more productive? Welcome to the concept of psychological Halloweenism—the practice of stepping outside your own identity to access traits you need in the moment.Inspired by a quote from Jim Henson—“Life’s like a movie. Write your own ending. Keep believing. Keep pretending.”—this episode dives into how adopting a different mindset or character can push us toward growth and better decision-making.Top Topics in This Episode1. The Science of Pretending and the Brain's RolePretending isn’t about being fake—it’s about gaining perspective. When we imagine how someone else would approach a problem, the brain pulls from our own experiences and merges them with that imagined personality. This creates mental distance from our usual behavior patterns, helping us think and act in new, more productive ways.2. Lessons from Childhood: Halloween and BeyondKids know this intuitively—put on a superhero costume and suddenly they’re bold and unstoppable. That confidence boost doesn’t have to be limited to childhood. Adults can benefit from stepping into different roles too, whether it’s through visualization, intentional behavior changes, or playful role-play.3. Psychological Halloweenism in ActionWe look at a 2016 study that showed how pretending to be someone else—like a narrow-minded librarian or a creative poet—helped people think more creatively. The specific persona didn’t matter; what mattered was getting outside their default mindset.4. Real-Life Role Models and Borrowed TraitsFrom imagining a friend who’s super organized to channeling a bold, assertive personality in tough situations, you’ll hear practical stories about using alter egos to face challenges. Whether it’s Grocery Shopping Jill, a fictional rule-setter who keeps spending in check, or a fitness-minded adventurer friend, these personas offer clarity and motivation.5. Power Poses and the Missed MessageWe revisit the infamous “power pose” concept, not as a failed body language trick, but as an example of missing the point. It wasn’t the pose that created confidence—it was the story and persona behind it that mattered. Without imagination and internal narrative, the magic falls flat.6. Odysseus and Rule-Based Self-ControlDrawing inspiration from Greek mythology, the episode illustrates how we can create systems to protect ourselves from our own impulses. Just as Odysseus tied himself to the mast to resist the sirens, we can adopt personas that follow pre-set rules to avoid self-sabotage.Key TakeawaysSometimes, we need to borrow courage, discipline, or creativity. Pretending to be someone who already has the traits we lack in the moment can help us overcome inertia, make better choices, and reach our goals. This doesn’t fracture your identity—it builds a bridge to the person you want to become. Whether it's Grocery Shopping Jill, a fearless adventurer, or a highly organized roommate, those alter egos can be powerful guides.Using psychological Halloweenism gives us a break from self-judgment, allowing action and growth where there might otherwise be resistance. Pretending, far from being fake, can be one of the most authentic steps toward change. So the next time you're stuck, ask: Who would handle this better? Then, pretend you’re them—just long enough to take the next right step.This episode is your invitation to explore what it means to grow through imagination and intentional identity-shifting. Who might you become—if only for a moment—to move forward in your life?Jill’s Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

Explore the intriguing art of self-negotiation, where the toughest persuade is often yourself. Discover how internal agreement paves the way for meaningful change. Learn about the concept of BATNA and how to find satisfying alternatives when plans fall through. Delve into deeper needs behind surface goals and update old fears that may hinder progress. With insightful tips on emotional clarity and compassionate self-dialogue, this discussion empowers you to respect your true needs and craft realistic solutions.

Discover why most New Year’s resolutions crumble before the month ends. It’s not laziness; it's about starting too big too fast. Learn the power of small steps that make goals easier to achieve. Explore practical micro-habits like reading a page or putting on workout clothes. Focus on consistency rather than perfection, and remember to adapt to tough days. Pick one or two areas to concentrate on and visualize your goals for lasting change. Start today and redefine what success looks like!

Explore the fascinating ways our minds inflate minor issues into major crises, often overlooking real dangers. Learn how to distinguish between urgency and importance, focusing on what truly matters for your well-being. Discover personal stories that illustrate this struggle, along with practical techniques to cultivate calm perspective. From physical resets to thoughtful questioning, find out how to avoid unnecessary stress and reclaim your focus. Train your brain to recognize true threats versus perceived ones, and practice a healthier, balanced mindset.

The Doors of Possibility – Living with the Gift of MaybeIn this episode, I explore how uncertainty, instead of being our enemy, can actually be our greatest source of growth. Inspired by The Gift of Maybe by Allison Carmen, I reflect on how we can shift our mindset from fear and rigidity to curiosity and openness—one small step at a time.I share a few tools that have changed my life, especially when facing uncertainty or big decisions. These aren’t complex frameworks but simple, powerful mental exercises that invite peace, clarity, and even joy into difficult or confusing situations.Top Topics DiscussedThe Door of VisualizationI explain how imagining life decisions as “doors” can give us clarity we didn’t even know we had. Our bodies often know what we want before our minds do. This tool helps us listen to that inner wisdom.The Elevator of MaybeWhen things feel overwhelming, this mental image of an elevator gives us a pause from overthinking. It’s a neutral space—where no assumptions exist—and it helps us return to the present moment.Breaking the Routine with Small ShiftsSometimes, it’s not about grand gestures. I share how changing my morning routine opened up more joy and freedom in my life. Tiny acts of “maybe” lead to massive internal change.The Possibility JournalI talk about how this tool helps track “what if” experiments in life, from trying new habits to breaking old thought patterns. It’s a gentle, low-pressure way to embrace growth.TakeawaysThe biggest takeaway from this episode is that we don’t need to have all the answers. Life is unpredictable. But within that unpredictability lies opportunity. When we stop catastrophizing and start experimenting—even a little—we invite transformation.Fear is often loud, but it isn’t always true. Maybe helps us pause, breathe, and take the next small step. Whether you’re starting something new or stuck in a familiar loop, just asking “what if” can be the beginning of a better path.The tools shared in this episode—doors, elevators, journals—are just ways to bring more awareness to our thoughts and feelings. They’re invitations to stop running from uncertainty and start living within it, fully and with hope.Jill’s Linkshttp://jillfromthenorthwoods.comhttps://startwithsmallsteps.comhttps://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallstepshttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallstepshttps://twitter.com/schmernEmail the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.comBy choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.

Explore the emotional journey through uncertainty, emphasizing that small worries can morph into overwhelming fears. Jill shares a personal cancer scare, revealing how planning and fear can amplify suffering. Inspired by 'The Gift of Maybe,' the discussion highlights the power of embracing the word 'maybe' as a mental reset. Listeners are encouraged to question their inner critic and recognize worry as an unreliable narrator. The conversation ends on a hopeful note, urging openness to possibilities rather than succumbing to regret.

The discussion dives deep into the paradox of comfort, revealing how the quest for security can trap us in predictability. The host shares personal anecdotes of chaos turning into a controlled life and highlights the anxiety that change can trigger, even when it’s positive. Inspired by the concept of 'maybe,' the conversation emphasizes how this simple word can unlock new possibilities and encourage growth. Listeners are urged to rethink their addiction to certainty, allowing for a more expansive and fulfilling life.