244 - Gain Confidence By Doing

Aug 26, 2025

Dive into the debate between 'fake it till you make it' and 'do it till you true it.' Discover why pretending can undermine trust and create stress. Instead, learn how taking small, authentic actions builds real confidence. Explore psychological theories that show how behavior influences belief, and understand the balance between honesty and ambition. This enlightening discussion reveals that confidence is not a momentary switch but a journey built on steady, honest progress.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Transcript

Episode notes

INSIGHT

Behavior Changes Belief

Actions shape emotions and beliefs through repeated behavior rather than mere words.
Psychological theories (CBT, James-Lange) support that acting confidently trains the brain to feel confident.

ADVICE

Build Confidence With Small Steps

Take small, honest steps to build competence instead of pretending.
Join low-risk practice environments (like Toastmasters) to grow confidence gradually.

ANECDOTE

From Van Crash To Lifeguard

Jill shares a childhood emergency where she acted despite no formal training.
That event led her to take first aid classes and later become a lifeguard, building real skills.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

Fake It Till You Make It... or Do It Till You True It?

In this episode, we challenge one of the most common self-help mantras: “Fake it till you make it.” Instead, we explore a more sustainable, honest, and empowering approach—“Do it until you true it.”

Through personal stories, psychological insight, and practical advice, we break down why faking confidence can sometimes do more harm than good, and how small steps can lead to real transformation.

Top Topics Covered:

The Problem with Faking It: We talk about how pretending to know something can lead to broken trust, missed opportunities, and internal stress, especially when the stakes are high.

The Power of Small Steps: Real confidence is earned through repeated actions. Whether it’s learning first aid or public speaking, each small action builds a foundation for long-term success.

Psychological Frameworks: We explore concepts like cognitive behavioral theory, James-Lange theory, and Bandura’s idea of self-efficacy to support why behavior can shape belief.

Honesty vs. Performance: There’s a fine line between boldness and deception. We discuss how to be honest about your capabilities while still stepping up to new challenges.

Takeaways:

This episode reminds us that confidence isn’t a magic switch—it’s something you build. You don’t need to fake your way into anything. You just need to take the next honest, actionable step. Whether you’re tackling a new role at work, facing anxiety, or just trying to grow in life, the habit of small, intentional actions will carry you farther than any performance ever could. “Do it until you true it” means showing up, learning, growing—and in time, becoming the kind of person you once only hoped to be.

https://startwithsmallsteps.com/244-gain-confidence-by-doing/

Jill’s Links
https://abetterlifeinsmallsteps.com

https://www.youtube.com/@startwithsmallsteps
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/startwithsmallsteps
https://twitter.com/schmern
Email the podcast at jill@startwithsmallsteps.com

By choosing to watch this video or listen to this podcast, you acknowledge that you are doing so of your own free will. The content shared here reflects personal experiences and opinions and is intended for informational and inspirational purposes only. I am not a licensed healthcare provider, psychiatrist, or counselor. Any advice or suggestions offered should not be considered a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. You are solely responsible for any decisions or actions you take based on this content.