Conversations With a Wounded Healer

“You do your personal work. We really believe that we’re the change agents and we can't take our clients anywhere we haven't gone.” ~Adena Bank Lees Adena Bank Lees, LCSW, LISAC, BCETS, CP is an accomplished speaker, author, experiential trainer, and consultant working in traumatic stress and addiction. She’s a leading authority on, and advocate for, psychodrama, a modality that employs guided role-play in private or group sessions. And Adena’s encyclopedic knowledge of her field is as impressive as her compassion and empathy are genuine.  This is one of those rich, inviting conversations that begs to be bookmarked for future re-listens; it’s just that good!   Adena clients face a wide range of challenges, from transgenerational trauma to covert emotional incest. She creates safe spaces in which intuition helps them rework their personal stories. This isn’t an erasure of the past. Nor is it an exercise in traditional forgiveness. “It's the feeling, it's the understanding, it's the grieving of the losses, of the hopes and the dreams. And the I wish my childhood was like this. It wasn't. I can't go back. But, I got to grieve and at some point to make the choice. I'm not going to hold onto this anger.”  Accepting that we can live vibrantly and wholely with our wounds is a byproduct of owning one’s agency. It’s for this reason that Adena adamantly advises therapists to embark on self-healing journeys so they can better understand the client experience.  Asked if she considers herself a wounded healer, she says, “I don't see myself as wounded anymore. I have parts that are wounded, but me as a whole? No. And I believe that was an important stage, an identity for me to have. And to be and to move through. I have wounds and I am in the process of assisting other people to heal.”  Truth! Note: This interview was recorded well before shelter-in-place orders were instituted across the United States in response to the COVID-19 pandemic. Consequently, the conversation does not reference the crisis.  For complete show notes and links to connect with Adena, visit http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast. Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram:  @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

“I look at it kind of like “ally”, right? I would prefer that other people would call me a healer rather than me calling me a healer. Just like I would prefer people calling me an ally rather than me calling myself an ally” ~Chris Hoff Where to begin with Chris Hoff, PhD, LMFT? Do I start by introducing you to The Radical Therapist, his highly binge-able podcast in which he interviews like-minded rebels in the healing arts? Is it better to go waaaaaay back to his years as a successful but unfulfilled tech entrepreneur? Perhaps you’re more interested in his evolution from meditation newbie to devout Zen Buddhist? Or, maybe, you’re looking for a kindred spirit in recovery, anxious to hear about his decades of sobriety?  Whichever Chris you prefer, you’re in luck! Our conversation is as multi-layered as the man himself. There’s an obvious link between Chris’ ability to exist in an easy flow with his woundedness and the years he spent trying to numb his unhappiness through work and substance abuse. His quest for spiritual and physical healing led him to Zen Buddhism and the study of psychology.  His podcast is his attempt to heal it forward by questioning therapy’s adherence to its current evidence-based approach. It’s no accident that he chose the word radical for his podcast title. He thinks clients and fellow professionals are hungry to connect with people who embody the once pejorative term.  An ex-punk rocker-slash-radical himself, Chris advocates infusing therapeutic practice with deeper, more intuitive understanding or, as he describes it, magic-with-a-K. Until his idea is widely adopted, he’ll continue expanding his tribe of rebels, offering his hard-fought knowledge to clients and students. And dropping new episodes where everyone can find them. For complete show notes and links to connect with Chris, visit http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast. Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram:  @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

I’ve tried meditation but...eff that!  Sound familiar? If meditation’s super-precious, über-enlightened rep has put you off in the past, Sarah’s guest Liza Kindred is here to reintroduce you to the practice - using language that this wounded healer is down with! Liza is a wearable tech consultant, a trauma-informed meditation instructor in training, and the author of Eff This! Meditation: 108 Tips, Tricks, and Ideas for When You're Feeling Anxious, Stressed-Out, or Overwhelmed.  In addition, she’s also the creator of the Eff This! Meditation community, home to free meditation resources as well as a soon-to-be-launched online course. Accomplished as Liza is, she’s about as unlikely a guide as you’ll find within the rarified ranks of meditation teachers. In other words, she’s perfect AF. “Have you heard of the phrase teach from the scar, not from the wound?” Liza asks near the end of the conversation. The quote, she says, reminds healers, parents, and teachers of all practices to use their wounds for good. But, doing so authentically can only be accomplished after the teacher has embarked on their own healing journey.  For her book, Liza borrowed wisdom from a millennia’s worth of teachings and distilled it into a guide for the modern age. Easy to flip through yet substantial enough to have an impact on even the most sceptical AF reader, Eff This! is mindfulness for anyone not buying into the Insta-imagery of what spirituality should look like. Instead, her book gives everyone permission to come into practice as they are.  “That's one of the things I love about meditation and that I teach,” she says. “There are so many ways to do it. There's different techniques that we can do and different things we can try with full respect for the fundamentals of where the practice came from. There is a richness of experience out there. If we're trying something and it's maybe not resonating, try something else, you know?” Yaaaassss! For complete show notes and links to connect with Liza, visit http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast. Special invitation for you!  Sarah is hosting a complimentary online gathering April 1st, 2020 from 7-8pm CST to support those of us feeling anxious, isolated or overwhelmed by current events. Join us tonight at 7pm CST here: https://fordham.zoom.us/j/536731875 Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram:  @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

“I'm very grateful for the wounds that I have acquired in my life. And I see now how those wounds were openings to something greater.” ~Gregory Koufacos The patriarchy, amiright?! They’re an easy (and rightfully) targeted group. However, there’s an entire generation growing up under the influence of our current system. What are we - therapists and society in general - doing to help them heal from the twin scourges of addiction and toxic masculinity?  Gregory Koufacos MA, LCADC, NCRC, founder and CEO of Velocity Mentoring, is the bright light in the dark tunnel, not at the end of it. He and Sarah discuss his work with emerging men and bond over what addiction therapy practitioners can do to better support this community.  So where do we begin? What can we do to advance the healing? Glad you asked!  Primal Method, Greg’s soon-to-be-published book, addresses those very same questions. “A big part of the process is teaching men that we cannot take what we want, right?” It’s common-sense messaging that’s rarely reinforced within the male population.  “I want to immediately start to work with them and mentor them and move alongside life with them, to lead them and to go on a path of victory.” Light in the tunnel! Special invitation for you!  Sarah is hosting a complimentary online gathering April 1st, 2020 from 7-8pm CST to support those of us feeling anxious, isolated or overwhelmed by current events. Go to: https://www.surveymonkey.com/rSPQP896 and share your email to receive an invitation to join. *** Join me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/WoundedHealr  Leave a review in Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/conversations-with-a-wounded-healer/id1356225272 Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram:  @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. For full show notes including resources discussed and our guests’ contact information, visit http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast.

“Each person is uniquely designed and each person is part of a big, giant puzzle of humanity.” ~Robin Winn This episode is like...your brain on pure, vibrational energy. Robin Winn, veteran therapist, Human Design specialist, and the best-selling author of Understanding Your Clients Through Human Design, chats with Sarah about how this relatively new system of awareness can radically alter the way we interact and empower us to see (and appreciate!) each other for who we really are. Using Sarah’s chart as an example, Robin explains some of the systems key components, including the four types of humanity. The results are compelling. Her analysis zeros in on this Wounded Healer’s strengths, weaknesses, and childhood struggles. “This is why it’s so helpful for a therapist or a coach or a business!” Robin says. “If I could do this for therapists, if I could use this with coaches, just think how much more quickly they could support their clients on their path and how empowering it would be!”  Just think, indeed!  Robin’s so passionate about the impact Human Design can have on the parent-child relationship as well as client-therapist interactions, she’s offering CWH listeners a free copy of her book! Simply drop her an email using “Sarah” in the subject line to robin@clientsandhumandesign.com. Mind. Blown. Thank you, Robin! Special invitation for you!  Sarah is hosting a complimentary online gathering April 1st, 2020 from 7-8pm CST to support those of us feeling anxious, isolated or overwhelmed by current events. Go to: https://www.surveymonkey.com/rSPQP896 and share your email to receive an invitation to join. *** Join me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/WoundedHealr  Leave a review in Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/conversations-with-a-wounded-healer/id1356225272 For full show notes including resources discussed and our guests’ contact information, visit http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast. Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram:  @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

"I've been freaking out about this lately, and I saw on The Today Show yesterday, one of their medical experts said, “we have to remember that this is temporary.” And as soon as I heard that, there was something in me that took a breath and was able to pause and stop freaking out for just a moment." ~Sarah Buino Sarah offers insights and practices for leaning into confidence and flexibility as tools in a time of crisis. With a balance of practical considerations as a business owner, personal reflection, and a trusty tarot card reading, Sarah shares a meditation and an app that just may help us get through this. Special invitation for you!  Sarah is hosting a complimentary online gathering April 1st, 2020 from 7-8pm CST Go to: https://www.surveymonkey.com/rSPQP896 and share your email to receive an invitation to join. *** If you'd like to contribute to the work Sarah is doing, join the community on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/WoundedHealr  Leave a review in Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/conversations-with-a-wounded-healer/id1356225272 Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram:  @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi  

“It’s hard to ask people to be comfortable with confusion. To let people sit in that a little is a challenge for most of us but vitally important. I see growth happening in discomfort.” ~Chuck Bernsohn Pronouns are powerful. And comfort is overrated. In this episode, Sarah chats with Chuck Bernsohn, advocate for LGBTQ+ and chronic illness communities, about the profound - and provoking - conversations taking place around descriptive language norms and how word choice has the power to heal long-standing systems of oppression.  As a non-binary queer person, Chuck knows firsthand how gendered language is used to reinforce institutional and personal biases. As a trans-affirming gender equity trainer, they work with both management teams and staff to create workplaces that are inclusive of all genders.  If you’re a beginning ally worried about using gender-neutral language incorrectly (or forgetting to use it at all), don’t worry, you probably will at some point. And that’s okay! Fragility - in all its forms - needs to be shattered in order for healing to begin. Walk into difficult conversations. Listen as someone speaks their truth. Arm yourself with tools to retrain your brain.  Chuck recommends this graphic novel on gender-neutral pronoun usage and this simple exercise: every time you leave the house, silently acknowledge every person you pass with a they/them pronoun. Easy! “You have to take risks, right? You have to practice that language and you have to make mistakes and you have to get corrected.” Join me on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/WoundedHealr  Leave a review in Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/conversations-with-a-wounded-healer/id1356225272 Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram:  @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi For full show notes including resources discussed and our guests’ contact information, visit http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast.

How do you show up when you’re a therapist (or therapist-in-training)? It’s this existential question that formed the foundation for The Modern Therapist’s Survival Guide, a podcast created by Katie Vernoy and Curt Widhalm.  If you’ve ever struggled with the prevailing wisdom that therapists should exist in session only as blank slates, you’re not alone. “I was taught to be beige,” says Katie of her formative training. But the idea of working from an emotionless center didn’t sit well with her or Curt. So they built an online space in which practitioner authenticity, and all the challenges that came with that vulnerability, could be explored.  As if the podcast wasn’t enough, Katie and Curt also created Therapy Reimagined: The Modern Therapist Conference, a yearly event celebrating diversity, innovation, and connection for the #moderntherapist IRL. Of course, Curt and Katie serve up some healer and wounded healer realness and get into the thorny issue of continuing education hours. But Curt and Katie aren’t the types to rail against the CEU system or the country’s warped insurance model (ok maybe a little). Instead, they’ve joined forces to combat outdated traditions, educate new and not-so-new therapists alike, and build a better model for the future of mental health and welfare,  This year’s Therapy Reimagined conference will be held on September 25-26,2020 in Universal City, CA.  Special Thanks to Our Sponsor! The Receptionist for iPad creates a seamless patient experience for your practice. Start your 14-day free trial at http://www.TheReceptionist.com/healer For full show notes including resources discussed and our guests’ contact information, visit http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast. Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram:  @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

“Sometimes, we need permission to be as awesome as we are.” ~Sarah Prager You know that old saying about strangers being friends you just haven’t met yet? This episode is exactly that.  Sarah Prager LPC, LAC, is the clinical manager of co-occurring treatment at AllHealth Network Colorado as well as an EMDR practitioner and a Daring Way facilitator. So, that’s TWO Sarahs in conversation about codependency, empathy, shame and Brené Brown for the price of one show!  But the best part is Sarah’s personal journey story. She came to this profession by accident! Sort of. The second-best part is that Sarah and Sarah became acquainted by accident. Sort of.  “Now that I look back on my life, I realize I was always supposed to be doing this,” she says. “I’ve seen addiction and mental health everywhere from my childhood and I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. It wasn’t an accident.”  So how did she get here? Originally a musical theater major, Sarah’s post-graduation search for work led her to a summer camp for traumatized girls. And, just like that, the next chapter of her life was written: performing arts major ditches the drama for trauma.  Now several degrees removed from her dreams of Broadway stardom, her focus is squarely on fostering an environment in which clients can follow their own unique paths toward healing. “I don’t take credit for people’s healing. But because I’m open to their healing, and I hold space for them to do that, I think it happens and it’s great. I love it. I feel it very deeply when someone else is healing their stuff.” Sarah’s honors her clients and her own wounded healer with a compassion that allows everyone’s authenticity to reign. Special Thanks to Our Sponsors! The Receptionist for iPad creates a seamless patient experience for your practice. Start your 14-day free trial at http://www.TheReceptionist.com/healer Liberated Being is a private, online community that connects people who are on this path- of waking up and shifting their way of being- with the skillful guides that can help to make the journey more sane, kind, and clear.  Created by Brooke Thomas from Bliss+Grit - Membership is open through March 4, 2020. https://www.liberatedbeing.community/ For full show notes including resources discussed and how to reach Lauren, visit http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram:  @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Ch

A flight attendant and a music teacher walk into a podcast… But not just any podcast, mind you. This is CWH’s 100th episode! To celebrate, OG listeners Rachel and Margaret join the show to get giggly and get deep.  They bond over their favorite episode (10!), and turn the tables on Sarah with a few questions of their own. Tons of fun, loads of a-ha! moments, and a couple dozen swears (naturally). Plus, the scoop on how Charlie the pyrite skull became the show’s mascot.    “You can be in service to others and still be on your own journey yourself,” That’s Margaret, a multitasking mother, musician, teacher, freelancer, and Patreon of this podcast, describing a CWH truth she’s come to rely on while pursuing her own degree in social work. “I had this illusion that people who are therapists and people who help others have to have all their shit together already before doing that. I always felt like, well, I don’t have my shit together so how can I help anybody else?” This podcast isn’t called Conversations With A Wounded Healer for nothing!    For superfan and flight attendant Rachel, the emotional stakes of her day-job couldn’t be higher (pun intended). She’s paid to literally help passengers keep their sh*t together! Beyond that though, she credits CWH showing her how to just be after resurfacing from an emotionally raw 2019. “Listening to your podcast, it was the first time that I realized ‘Oh, no, like, therapists can be human beings and they can be flawed and complicated and that’s ok!’ That’s been the main part of my journey and realizing that I actually do want to go back to school to be a therapist.” Low life moments lead to higher lessons, everybody! 100 episodes in, this supportive community of wounded healers continues to grow and amaze with their insight and energy. Whether you’re starting out here or have listened forever, thank you! Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let’s be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram:  @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi