Conversations With a Wounded Healer

"This might be the last chance we have at saving our democracy." ~Jennifer Contarino This year, the personal is political. In service to your emotional wellbeing and the health of our democracy, my guest Jennifer Conterino, Psy.D and I are going there. Yup, we're exposing the damaging effects that an egregiously dangerous personality has had on our collective psyche not to mention the will of a nation in desperate need of healing. From years of petulant tweets to his most recent and most odious debate appearance, Trump anxiety disorder is real, y'all! Jennifer would know; she wrote a chapter on the subject for The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump: 27 Psychiatrists and Mental Health Experts Assess a President. Diagnosing the president is, of course, irresponsible as neither of us is his therapist. But diagnosis for our purposes is irrelevant. We're more concerned with how you're doing. It's no coincidence that being governed by this leader is akin to growing up under a narcissistic parent. Both scenarios leave their victims feeling unmoored and unsafe at best. At worst, these complex traumas repeat themselves, often manifesting as an inability to show outward empathy or inward compassion. With the current administration's survival strategies literally killing BIPOC and conditioning white folks to stay forever silent, is 2020 the wake-up call our country needs? Examining the motivation behind a dangerous huckster's rise to power is one step toward reasserting our agency. Asking ourselves how we want to show up in service to democracy is another. GUEST BIO: Jennifer Contarino, PsyD has been a Licensed Clinical Psychologist since 2004 and is the President of Mindful Psychology Associates, a group therapy practice in Evanston, IL. She is the author of the essay "Trump Anxiety Disorder" in the 2017 New York Times best selling book The Dangerous Case of Donald Trump: 27 Mental Health Experts Assess a President. In addition to her clinical work and managing her practice, she writes, speaks, and presents about psychological topics such as sociopolitical stress and anxiety, coping with uncertainty, and emotional intelligence skills. Here are some ways you can get involved and take action NOW: Register to Vote Swing Left Chicago - Swing Left helps you find the most impactful things you can do to help Democrats win the most important elections. Vote Forward - Participate in letter writing, encouraging US citizens to vote. WisDems - Wisconsin Democratic organization committed to protecting the integrity of elections in this critical state. Ohio Democratic Party - Find ways to volunteer in this critical state. For full show notes, guest information, and resources, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

"It's a weird place to be when you're in the midst of your own work." ~Ashley Solomon First of all, you know I love getting to know new friends on air. Secondly, if you've listened to this show for a while (and why wouldn't you?!), you know I'm all in when the topic du jour is either NARM-adjacent or Enneagram-related. But when the conversation contains all the things? Oh, my! Ashley Solomon, PSY.D, CEDS, is founder of Gelia collaborative in Cincinnati and a new best friend. The collaborative is female-focused, supporting women's wellbeing and empowerment through behavioral health, leadership, coaching, content creation, and events. Ashley specializes in eating disorders, fertility, anxiety, and career issues. While both of us use different models in practice, our desire to help clients regain agency lost to the relational or developmental traumas experienced in childhood is aligned. "We can alter and change those things," she says, "through some of that inner child work and reparenting ourselves and kind of shifting things in our present-day relationships." Beyond her own inner child work, the Enneagram is the model that has resonated with Ashley the most on a personal and relational level. She describes it as a "cool uncovering" process which has provided her with a complete picture of her authentic nature. GUEST BIO: Dr. Ashley Solomon is a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder of Galia Collaborative, a behavioral health and empowerment organization dedicated to elevating the impact of purpose-driven girls and women. She blends her love for research, her commitment to social justice, and her hard-earned experience to support women at challenge points in their lives. For full show notes, guest information, and resources, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

"We have to be able to have these uncomfortable conversations and put in some uncomfortable strategies for people to move forward." ~Brandon Jones What, exactly, is intergenerational trauma? How does structural racism even work? For Brandon Jones, the answers are balled up in the same knot of his origins story. As a psychotherapist, a professor with dual Masters degrees, and a 2013 Bush Foundation Leadership Fellow, Brandon's committed to educating people about the intentional cycles of trauma and drama that supremacist culture has fostered within families of color. For white folks, confronting these life-long, centuries-old systems requires acknowledgement of advantages that most of us have come to rely on, consciously and unconsciously. Our conversation begins with Brandon's winding journey of self-discovery and travels through instances of early bias conditioning and "bootstrapping" - the racist myth that hard work is enough to level the playing field for all - in his own life. He sheds light on aspects of everyday, institutional racism, easy to overlook if you're not intimately acquainted with them. What I call out as ignorance or "blindness" on the part of white folks, Brandon defines as denial, the privilege to avoid confronting what is known - another underhanded tactic from the supremacy playbook. Listeners, you know how much I love a good chat! Well, Brandon humored yours truly so much that we almost ran out of time for the healer questions. Almost. GUEST BIO: Brandon Jones is a Psychotherapist, Professor and currently serves as the Integrated Services Manager at NorthPoint Health and Wellness Center. He specializes in Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), Historical and Intergenerational trauma, Social/Emotional Intelligence (EQ), Leadership, and Youth Justice. Born and raised in Saint Paul, Minnesota, Brandon has survived living in a home of domestic violence and various other forms of trauma. Brandon holds a B.A. in Sociology from the University of Minnesota, a Masters in Community Psychology from Metropolitan State University, and a Masters in Psychotherapy (MFT) from Adler Graduate School. Brandon is also a 2013 Bush Foundation Leadership Fellow. He is also a professor at Metropolitan State University and Century College. He lives by the motto of "Live life with Purpose on Purpose." For full show notes, guest information, and resources, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

"I feel like there's so many different aspects of being a hairdresser. It's like, you're an artist, you're a counselor, a psychologist." ~Shimi Shiba If only someone could take the easy intimacy that hairstylists enjoy with their longtime clients and translate the magic into a formal therapeutic setting… Oh, wait! I've met such a person. In this episode, professional hairdresser Shimi Shiba shares the behind-the-chair insights that have prepared her for a return to school and propelled her toward a degree in counselling. Few vocations provide access to both a client's body and brain in quite the same way as hairdressing. Routine visits strengthen the trust established through touch and conversation. It's precisely this bonding that has prompted Illinois (the state in which Shimi practices) to enact a law requiring licensed stylists complete training to identify victims of domestic violence among their clientele. Now, as a graduate student, Shimi's melding structured learning with life experience. The years she's spent observing client behavior in front of a literal mirror will provide Shimi with a professional POV that's uniquely her own. "One thing that I've learned going to college and working on my bachelor's as an adult, the best sort of education I've had, like its own form of life college, has actually been being a hairdresser." Call it tHAIRapy. Shimi Shiba has been a hairdresser for 25 years (she started super young). She has a strong artistic eye and a true love of hair and makeup. She really loves connecting with people and personalizing a style to fit the individual. She doesn't believe in the "one size fits all" approach. In addition to her styling talents, Shimi is also quite adept at astrology and is studying to become a counselor. For full show notes, guest information, and resources, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

"Maybe it's not about healing. Maybe it's just about being with people who are wounded too. It's maybe like wounded is we're alive together." ~Claude Cayemitte Hello friends! This is the episode in which Claude Cayemitte, LCSW blows my mind -- by answering the wounded healer question in a way I've never heard before. So, who is Claude Cayemitte? He's a NARM-certified, award-winning psychotherapist working with at-risk teenaged boys and their families. He's a self-described passionate consumer of and advocate for outlets that address issues relating to social justice, systemic racism, and all forms of oppression. He's a lover of comic books and chess. He's a hater of spreadsheets (#same). He's also a Black man living in a country grappling with the ugly, deadly realities of its white supremacist infrastructure and the confines of linear thinking. Claude encourages listeners to reclaim joy, self-care, and intimacy - with themselves and others. They're skills he's had to pick up along his journey. "All I saw was my pain. All I saw was my trauma," he recalls of his mental health challenge. "And I was so afraid of everyone else seeing it. But where I'm at now, like even with the George Floyd stuff, it's like I'm more than just that pain." (#same!) Claude Cayemitte is a licensed clinical social worker who has experience working with trauma in substance abuse treatment and marginalized communities. Claude is an award-winning psychotherapist, receiving the Minority Fellowship Award from the Council of Social Work Education for his work with at-risk teens. Claude is a NARM certified therapist who currently works at Family First Adolescent Services, a residential treatment center that incorporates NARM in their programming. Claude also sees patients through his private practice using teletherapy. In 2020, in collaboration with the NARM training institute, Claude presented a Cultural Misattunement webinar on the topic of racial trauma and its impact on the therapeutic process. Claude believes in the healing power of conversation, allowing him the privilege to help people overcome obstacles to being healthy, authentic and connected. For full show notes, guest information, and resources, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

"Shame is the thing that keeps us from even admitting that there's an issue and that we might be complicit in it." ~Erin Law I'm back from a brief summer respite with a total buzzkill for some of my listeners: healing from supremacy culture sucks! There's no rest for the (white) weary while our Black brothers and sisters continue to fight for their lives. More bad news: not only is our path pot-holed with shame, it never ends. The farther down the road we go, the deeper the cracks we uncover. Luckily, multidisciplinary artist, somatic movement educator, and bodyworker Erin Law has dedicated herself to mapping this journey. Together with her coworkers at Activist Theology Project, she's co-creating a process in which fellow white folks can work on healing from supremacy culture's one-two punch of self-loathing and complacency. Erin is currently launching a new course: Unraveling Our Whiteness to support an embodied exploration and unraveling of whiteness and white supremacy culture. Guest Bio: Erin Law (they/she) is a multidisciplinary artist, somatic movement educator, bodyworker and emerging politicized healer based in Nashville, Tennessee. She holds a B.A. in Dance from Hobart and William Smith Colleges, a M.F.A. in Dance from Smith College, a Certification in Laban Bartenieff Movement Analysis from the Integrated Movement Studies Program, and is a Licensed Massage Therapist. Currently Erin is the Embodiment and Somatics Curator at Activist Theology Project where she is focusing her work around the facilitation of social healing especially for folks positioned within the dominant culture who are seeking transformative justice. They also teach Somatics and Improvisation for diverse populations, practice Ashiatsu and Myofascial Release in their Massage Therapy work, and spearhead various creative projects at the intersection of somatic embodiment, social healing, queer theory, and performance art. For full show notes, guest information, and resources, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

As part of our "Archival August," we are re-releasing episodes from the past that have held specific significance for me recently, as I take some time for personal healing. This episode with David Clinton was really moving for me personally. David is from my same hometown and I don't know about you guys, but during the pandemic and everything that's been going on, there's been a lot of reflecting on the past and the ways in which our upbringing caused harm or trauma. David has become somebody that I have reached out to more regularly because he's just a really, really awesome guy. *** David Clinton is a private practice therapist in Naperville, Illinois. He's a native of Cincinnati and studied psychology and religion at Indiana university before entering his masters in clinical psychology from Wheaton college, he's counseled in private since 2002. He's also a guitarist and amateur photographer and an avid reader. David is married and a father of two children who fill his days with laughter, excitement and a significant amount of property damage. *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

As part of our "Archival August," we are re-releasing episodes from the past that have held specific significance for me recently, as I take some time for personal healing. Lisa Lackey, is one of the premier therapists in Chicago. And it's funny, I knew Lisa from afar for a really long time and kind of had put her on a pedestal. Early on, when we were starting to talk, I remember feeling honored that she was interested in connecting with me. And now she's somebody who I know that I can go to with absolutely anything and she's one of the most generous clinicians. I mean, I know a lot of generous clinicians, but for somebody of Lisa's caliber to be so generous is just truly exceptional. Lisa identifies as a black woman and she's been doing a lot of work in the anti-racism realm lately. And we don't really talk a lot about that in this episode, but the way that she's combining anti-racism work with empathy and compassion is I think truly what needs to happen in this country overall right now. *** Lisa Lackey has worked in the field of addiction and trauma since 1994. She's driven by the passion to support persons as they journey toward resolution from the inside out. Her clinical expertise is in the treatment of sexual addiction, trauma, and other addictions. She's worked as a pastor, leadership development consultant, and public speaker in a variety of venues. She loves learning and teaching what she learns. Her passion for what she does makes her a dynamic and compassionate therapist and an engaging speaker who connects as easily with individuals as she does with large audiences. Lisa's podcast is Insideout Conversations. *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

As part of our "Archival August," we are re-releasing episodes from the past that have held specific significance for me recently, as I take some time for personal healing. This episode with Tanya Markul felt right to share right now because the world is going through a major transformation and all the shadows are coming to light so we can transmute them. Tanya's latest book is The She Book v.2. *** Tanya Markul's path is one of the poetess, intuitive and wounded storyteller. An unwanted child, she was raised on barren soil, of shame, guilt and overwhelming self-hatred. From the womb, her inner navigation was tainted from an ancestry of addiction, instability, abuse and fear. Her journey to self-heal, and to become ready to guide others, has taken many arduous paths, risks and harrowing rebirths. In this episode, Sarah speaks with the Thug Unicorn herself: Tanya Markul. Tanya and Sarah discuss the ecstasy within the ache, what lies beneath our traumatic stories, and how we share our stories in an effort to inspire others to find their way out of trauma and pain. Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

As part of our "Archival August," we are re-releasing episodes from the past that have held specific significance for me recently, as I take some time for personal healing. This episode was recorded in the very beginning of my anti-racism journey, a touching conversation at a pivotal moment. *** Mishara D. Winston, LCSW is a Black, queer, creative adventure therapist and the owner of an uncommon social & emotional wellness sanctuary called To Indy, With Love. To Indy, With Love focuses on gathering, playing, feeling for communal healing. Each of it's services (mental wellness coaching, experiences & speaking) are specifically crafted for Black, Indigenous & PoC, LGBTQIA+ people and Indiana folks of many faiths, helping them to remember our ancestors were mental health experts and we can socially and emotionally heal ourselves and each other. Her work is found at @toindywithlove on IG & FB and at www.toindywithlove.com. Mishara has redefined what it means to be an adventure therapist in the Midwest. She shares with Sarah her experience as a Black woman navigating the standards for professionalism (whiteness) in the field of social work and how she uses the power of choice to care for herself. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places... Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi