Conversations With a Wounded Healer

"The 12 steps are a return to the internal world...If you just do the cogs in a wheel, they will create an emotional rearrangement in you." ~Veronica Valli Hundreds of people take shaky steps toward sobriety every day. Veronica Valli began her journey 20 years ago this past May. Like many, she credits Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) with helping her stay joyfully sober. But the author, podcast host, psychotherapist and coach knows not everyone shares her experience. That said, she's not about to let a recent New York Times OpEd piece get away with passing off misinformation as fact - especially where the care of female alcoholics in recovery is concerned. We chat about that blog post as well as her developmental trauma and eventual emotional sobriety. Her answers to our favorite healer questions lead to our discussion about her experiences with Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) or tapping. These days, it's impossible to close the show without asking about COVID19. "I hope this is teaching us how we kind of have this...I mean, it's about connection," she says. Although referring optimistically to our post-pandemic future, Veronica's comment could just as easily apply to her affinity for AA. BIO Veronica Valli has been joyously sober since May 2nd 2000. Originally from the UK, she is a psychotherapist, Emotional Freedom Technique Practitioner, Recovery Coach and Author of books 'Why you drink and How to stop' and 'Get Sober Get Free.' She is also the co-host of the Soberful Podcast. Veronica passionately believes that anyone can recover from an alcohol problem if they are given the right tools and support. She has personally helped thousands of women transform their lives. Veronica believes that alcohol is only a symptom of the problem and that to recover, thrive and become the women we are truly meant to be, we need to embrace a process of change. Now based in the USA she works with women all over the world through her online programs and Facebook groups. She is married and lives on Long Island with her husband and two sons. For full show notes, guest information, and resources, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

"If you're not talking about power, then you're really not doing racial equity work or inclusive work." ~Brit Holmberg Brit Holmberg, MSW, LCSW, is a staff therapist at The Wellness Center of Loyola University and a longtime friend. He's also the co-creator, alongside his colleague Marion Malcome MSW, LCSW, of "Becoming An Anti-Racist Social Worker". Use of that hyphenate is critical to this conversation. Not racist is easy but anti-racist? That's where the real work sits and, spoiler alert: it never ends. As Brit explains, supporting the radical social changes Black people and people of color demand - and deserve - requires white allies to embark upon a life-long process of unlearning and decentering. So what does a CIS HET white guy know about racism? Glad you asked. Brit is clear on this point: he's not one of racism's intended victims. Instead, his mission is to make inroads with people who, like him, have long been the beneficiaries of white supremacist culture. Does that make him a healer, wounded or otherwise? You'll have to listen in to hear what Brit thinks about my favorite question. The process of becoming an anti-racist, though? That's transformative healing for those on both sides of that equation. Brit offers these excellent suggestions for your anti-racist syllabus: White Fragility: Why It's So Hard To Talk To White People About Racism - by Robin DiAngelo Why Are All The Black Kids Sitting Together In The Cafeteria? - by Beverly Daniel Tatum White Privilege: Unpacking The Invisible White Knapsack - by Peggy McIntosh I'm Still Here: Black Dignity In A World Made For Whiteness - by Austin Channing Brown Code Switch Podcast - NPR For the complete list compiled by Marion and Brit: https://tinyurl.com/AntiracismSW *** Brit Holmberg (he/him, they/them) is a passionate community organizer, educator, and mental health practitioner who seeks to disrupt white supremacy culture and promote anti-racism at both the clinical and organizational levels. Brit lives with his family in Chicago, IL. For full show notes, guest information, and resources, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast *** Thank you to our sponsor (and editors) The Creative Impostor Studios! If you've been thinking about creating a podcast of your own, sign up for Andrea's Launch Your Podcast online class ASAP. Launch Your Podcast online class via Zoom Thursday July 9, 2020 7:00-8:15pm CST $50. First 15 to register by July 2nd are free. http://www.thecreativeimpostor.com/healerlaunch Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

"You've got to set up the dynamic, which is, we can talk about absolutely anything here. I'm not going to judge you. I'm not going to shame you. I can take it." ~Tristan Taormino Sex episode! Sexpisode? You decide. Either way, educator, author, and media-maker Tristan Taormino talks about the joys of her DIY career and what she wishes therapists knew about sex. From her first book, The Ultimate Guide To Anal Sex For Women (published waaay back in 1997) to her current podcast, Sex Out Loud, Tristan's dedicated her life to creating shame-free, inclusive spaces where knowledge and straightforward advice flourish. She's also a prolific maker of feminist porn and erotica and a champion of marginalized voices. She uses her various platforms to amplify the views of her LGBTQIA peers and other groups who are consistently excluded from the CIS male-dominated mainstream conversations around sex and pleasure. Tristan's gained plenty of cognitive insight into the client-therapist relationship. She's participated in years of dialectic behavioural therapy (DBT) to address her own childhood traumas and in continued support of her severe depression. She's witnessed firsthand how therapists' inherent sexual biases or avoidance tactics inhibit authentic therapeutic conversations. She urges therapists to stop waiting for clients to lead on the subject of sex. With a little grace and a lot of sex-positive education, therapists can gain competencies that support their clients' sexuality even if they themselves don't fully embrace every kink or intimate desire on the spectrum. *** Tristan Taormino is an award-winning sex educator, media maker, and speaker. She is the author of eight books and editor or co-editor of 25 anthologies. She keynotes, lectures, and teaches workshops around the world on sexual pleasure and health, relationships, and social justice. She is the host of the podcast Sex Out Loud. She is the creator of Sex Educator Boot Camp, a professional training program, and she runs a coaching and consulting business for sexuality professionals. For full show notes, guest information, and resources, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi

"I hope that my work speaks from the scars and not the wounds." ~Roberto Che Espinoza, PhD Revolutions take work. The movement to dismantle supremacy culture rightly demands that much of the work be done off-camera, by those who benefit most from its proliferation. Roberto Che Espinoza, PhD engages those willing to do the requisite heavy lifting through stories (and, sometimes, food). As a queer activist, Latinx scholar, and public theologian, they stand at the intersections of systemic analysis and lived experience. As a white-passing person of color, they move through the world with the same power, access, and privilege afforded to those who've set the ground rules for centuries. Roberto invites white people to get dirty, to sit with our defenses and explore our tacit acceptance of supremacy culture. Only then, they say, can we join forces and begin to heal our world. "I think the work of coming together is our work...It's an ethics of togetherness because if we are together in a practice of being human with one another, we can actually reshape our democracy." The revolution is here. Are you in? *** Roberto Che Espinoza, PhD has been described in a myriad of ways: a scholar-activist, scholar-leader, thought-leader, teacher, public theologian, ethicist, poet of moral reason, and word artist. Among these ways of describing Dr. Roberto, they are also a visionary thinker who has spent two decades working in the hybrid space of church, academy, & movements seeking to not only disrupt but dismantle supremacy culture by focusing their PhD studies on new concepts of being & becoming, decolonizing knowledge production, & bridging with radical difference. They enflesh a deep hope of collaborating in these hybrid spaces where their work seeks to contribute to the ongoing work of collective liberation. Activist Theology as a disciplinary off-shoot of liberation theology & Movement idea has been incubating since 2008 with Dr. Roberto and further developed throughout their doctoral program and engagement with Movement leaders. Now, Activist Theology has the chance to emerge as a collaborative project. Dr. Roberto was named 1 of 10 Faith Leaders to watch by the Center for American Progress in 2018. As a scholar-activist, Dr. Roberto is committed to translating theory to action, so that our work in the hybrid spaces reflect the deep spiritual work of transforming self to transforming the world. Dr. Roberto writes & creates both academic & other valuable resources, including digital resources. Dr. Roberto is a non-binary Transqueer Latinx who calls Nashville, TN home. For full show notes, guest information, and resources, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi Sarah's virtual speaking gigs: Tuesday, June 16, 1pm Central New Hampshire Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselors Association - The Wounded Healer https://www.nhadaca.org/event-3805324/Registration

~We decided to re-release this episode because we couldn't think of a better voice to lead during this time. We have chosen to mute ourselves and support #amplifymelanatedvoices through June 7th. "We have inherited a system and there's nothing we can do about it except acknowledge that and dismantle it. But if we don't acknowledge it, then we are actually maintaining [it]." ~Derrick Dawson A conversation that eloquently connects the dots between capitalism and systemic racism? Straight talk about our American way of life and the foundation of white supremacy upon which it was built? Yes, please, to both! Derrick Dawson, co-program coordinator of the Regional Organizing for Anti-Racism, aka Chicago Roar, sheds light on the myriad ways white supremacy continues to fester and flourish. Using the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic as metaphor and proving ground, Derrick hits our collective compliance with his high-powered truth rays. He exposes us to the vicious strategies employed by corporations and power-brokers hell-bent on destroying our relationship to our planet, our communities, and ourselves. Once you see the light, I guarantee you won't be able to look away. Derrick Dawson is a member of the AntiRacism Commission of the Episcopal Diocese of Chicago, and served as its Co-Chair for three years. He is the Training Manager at the Chicago law firm of Barack Ferrazzano Kirschbaum & Nagelberg in Chicago, and is a graduate student and teaching assistant in English Composition at Northeastern Illinois University in Chicago. Derrick was also a broadcaster and journalist in the United States Navy, where he served for eight years on ships in Asia and the Pacific. For more information about antiracism resources, this is an excellent, though not exhaustive list: http://bit.ly/ANTIRACISMRESOURCES 7 Virtual Mental Health Resources Supporting Black People Right Now If you'd like to support other black healers who've appeared on this show you can listen to the following episodes and support their work: Monika Black - 110 Lauren McBride - 98 Jade T. Perry - 66 Lisa Lackey - 58 Mishara Winston - 53 Jamila Kekulah Kinney - 38 VersAnnette Blackman - 34 For full show notes, more episodes, guest information, and resources, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi Sarah's virtual speaking gig: Tuesday, June 16, 1pm Central New Hampshire Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselors Association - The Wounded Healer https://www.nhadaca.org/event-3805324/Registration

"I think the most transformative practice that I've come across is this ability to see that in all of our responses and reactivity and whatever it is we're all, deep down, these beautiful animals who wish that they could live in a world in which everyone's needs were met and everyone loved each other. And we all have that wish. And that's not the world we live in." ~Tim Desmond This is exactly what a planet in "time out" needs: a conversation with someone who can help us make sense of any effed up sitch. In his latest book, How To Stay Human In A F*cked Up World, author and Buddhist philosopher Tim Desmond, LMFT, invites us to peel back the layers that have been papered over of mindfulness practices. He helps us dive headlong into the process of self-inquiry, asking us to examine our motivations in hopes that we resurface with a more outward-facing practice. He even gives this Wounded Healer a crash course in compassionate rage - an incredibly helpful sidebar in light of so much pandemic-related dysfunction. Let the conscious-raising begin! *** Tim Desmond is an esteemed Buddhist philosopher who has lectured on psychology at Yale and leads a mental health project at Google. Despite an absent father, childhood homelessness, and losing a wife to cancer, Desmond has emerged with not only inner strength and joyful resilience, but also a deep understanding of human suffering necessary to advocate for those hurting all over the world. Through his work, Desmond realized the truth: we don't need a mindfulness practice for productivity or sleep, and it shouldn't come from religion, philosophy, or hypothetical situations. Instead, mindfulness should be rooted in the pain, sadness, loneliness, and trauma of the here and now, because it is the only true antidote for this sometimes-miserable world we call home. For full show notes, guest information, and resources, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi Sarah's virtual speaking gigs: Wednesday, June 3, 11am Central Illinois Higher Education Center - Trauma and Substance Abuse https://register.gotowebinar.com/register/4346826168318216715 Tuesday, June 16, 1pm Central New Hampshire Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselors Association - The Wounded Healer https://www.nhadaca.org/event-3805324/Registration

I'm happy to share with you an amazing podcast called Back From the Abyss! Our latest conversation was with Dr. Craig Heacock where we spoke a bit about his experiences working with psychedelics in psychotherapy. This episode "MDMA and the Inner Healer" showcases the story of a client and his experience with the MDMA-assisted therapy sessions. It's incredible! I'm sure you'll be as touched by this episode as I was. And of course, if you like this episode, make sure to follow/subscribe Back From the Abyss on your favorite podcast platform. Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi Sarah's virtual speaking gigs: Wednesday, June 3, 11am Central Illinois Higher Education Center - Trauma and Substance Abuse https://register.gotowebinar.com/register/4346826168318216715 Tuesday, June 16, 1pm Central New Hampshire Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselors Association - The Wounded Healer https://www.nhadaca.org/event-3805324/Registration

"I've had a lot of losses and vicarious trauma in my practice and, I think, starting Back From The Abyss was also a way for me to put out just balloons of hope into the world and to remind myself that people do get better and people heal and people do the hard work of therapy." ~Dr. Craig Heacock For every harrowing loss with which Dr. Craig Heacock has had to come to terms, his practice is also populated by people who are recovering and thriving. He created Back From The Abyss in 2019 with those clients in mind as a way to share their stories of hope and healing. A quick glance at the podcast's episode guide speaks to the broad range of topics. The reoccurring focus, however, is on psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy, namely the use of ketamine and MDMA as therapeutic tools. Often maligned by us as street or club drugs, psychopharmacology has the potential to accelerate trust within the client/therapist relationship and enhance outcomes. Dr Heacock provides some much-needed context to this fascinating subject and shares his own journey to resilience before answering our favorite healer questions. HEADS UP: Be on the lookout for a Back From The Abyss episode right here on the CWH feed. *** Dr. Craig Heacock is an adolescent/adult psychiatrist and addiction specialist in Colorado. In addition to producing and hosting a psychiatric storytelling podcast called Back from the Abyss, he is a co-therapist in the Phase 3 trial of MDMA-Assisted Psychotherapy for PTSD. Dr. Heacock has a particular interest in the use of ketamine and other psychedelics to treat severe mood disorders and PTSD. He is a graduate of the University of New Mexico School of Medicine and did his psychiatry training at Brown University. For full show notes, guest information, and resources, visit: http://www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi Sarah's virtual speaking gigs: Wednesday, June 3, 11am Central Illinois Higher Education Center - Trauma and Substance Abuse https://register.gotowebinar.com/register/4346826168318216715 Tuesday, June 16, 1pm Central New Hampshire Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselors Association - The Wounded Healer https://www.nhadaca.org/event-3805324/Registration

"Well, that could've gone better…" Ever leave a therapy session wondering where things went off the rails or what you might've done differently? Meet your new best friends Carrie Wiita and Ben Fineman, co-hosts of Very Bad Therapy! They dropped by to discuss their show and managed to turn the tables on yours truly with questions of their own! VBT teases out the woulda, coulda, shoulda moments from some of the worst in-real-life therapy session stories that Carrie and Ben have ever heard. But they're not here to dish out blame-and-shame. Instead, they offer enlightened, empathetic course correction within a safe space, allowing vulnerability and professionalism to co-exist. If you've ever listened to a cringe-worthy therapy tale and thought 'Oh no, I've done that, too!', we're here for you. *** Very Bad Therapy gives voice to the stories that begin with an exasperated "You would not believe what happened with my therapist." Weekly episodes explore real-life stories of very bad therapy experiences as hosts Carrie Wiita and Ben Fineman seek to learn from diverse guests and experts in the field who help shed light on how things could have gone better. Supported by scientific research and a mission to bring out the best in psychotherapy through discussion of its worst moments, Very Bad Therapy is a corrective emotional experience for clinicians and clients alike. Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi Sarah's virtual speaking gigs: Wednesday, June 3, 11am Central Illinois Higher Education Center - Trauma and Substance Abuse https://register.gotowebinar.com/register/4346826168318216715 Tuesday, June 16, 1pm Central New Hampshire Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselors Association - The Wounded Healer https://www.nhadaca.org/event-3805324/Registration

"We have inherited a system and there's nothing we can do about it except acknowledge that and dismantle it. But if we don't acknowledge it, then we are actually maintaining [it]." ~Derrick Dawson A conversation that eloquently connects the dots between capitalism and systemic racism? Straight talk about our American way of life and the foundation of white supremacy upon which it was built? Yes, please, to both! Derrick Dawson, co-program coordinator of the Regional Organizing for Anti-Racism, aka Chicago Roar, sheds light on the myriad ways white supremacy continues to fester and flourish. Using the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic as metaphor and proving ground, Derrick hits our collective compliance with his high-powered truth rays. He exposes us to the vicious strategies employed by corporations and power-brokers hell-bent on destroying our relationship to our planet, our communities, and ourselves. Once you see the light, I guarantee you won't be able to look away. Derrick C. Dawson is Co-Program Coordinator for Chicago Regional Organizing for Antiracism (Chicago ROAR), and an organizer and trainer for Crossroads Antiracism Organizing & Training. He is also an ADA 25 Advancing Leadership 2020 Fellow. He served on the Standing Committee of the Episcopal Diocese of Chicago, and served several terms as Co-Chair of the Antiracism Commission of the Chicago Diocese. Before becoming an antiracism organizer and trainer, Derrick served in the United States Navy as a broadcaster and journalist in the Pacific, and worked for over 20 years as a corporate trainer for major law firms in Chicago. He studied English and Linguistics at Northeastern Illinois University in Chicago where he received a Bachelor's degree. Conversations with a Wounded Healer is a proud member of @mhnrnetwork. Let's be friends! You can find me in the following places… Website: www.headhearttherapy.com/podcast Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/WoundedHealr/ https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartTherapy/ Instagram: @headhearttherapy Twitter: @WoundedHealr @HeadHeart_Chi Sarah's virtual speaking gigs: Wednesday, June 3, 11am Central Illinois Higher Education Center - Trauma and Substance Abuse https://register.gotowebinar.com/register/4346826168318216715 Tuesday, June 16, 1pm Central New Hampshire Alcohol and Drug Abuse Counselors Association - The Wounded Healer https://www.nhadaca.org/event-3805324/Registration