Let's Parent on Purpose: Christian Marriage, Parenting, and Discipleship

Technology is an ever-present entity in our lives and sometimes we can become scared of it, but there are also several wonderful things made possible by it. This new series tackles various aspects of technology and how it navigate through it with your family. Show Highlights Scott Pleasants is currently the Strategic Innovations Advisor for Innovate Lynchburg where he is responsible for helping businesses with technology and helping tech-based entrepreneurs with their go-to-market strategies. Before being named SAI, Scott was the CIO for TRBC World-wide and the Director of Engineering Technology and Operations for the Liberty University School of Engineering and Computational Sciences. Even if Scott is a tech guy and his family is inevitably hooked on their own gadgets, they still make it a point to put their technology down and spend time together, take a hike, or enjoy sometime unplugged – "and not make it the center of our lives," says Scott. That said, Scott says, technology in itself is not bad – there are just people who do bad things with it. In fact, we can do major good with the technology we have. Technology and platforms should be tools for you to use. You should not be a slave to it. Empower your kids to use these platforms for good using these tools. Scott suggests not allowing kids to have technology in their own rooms. Make sure that the technology is in a common area and there are no secrets. Encourage a healthy use of technology. Let your kids know that they are not being given restrictions because you are treating them like children. They should understand that these precautions are meant to protect them and it is for the whole family's safety. Technology can be dangerous, so as parents, really sit down with your family and have a serious conversation about how you are going to use technology. Ask you kids, how can you do good with the technology that you have? [bctt tweet="technology in itself is not bad – there are just people who do bad things with it." username="jaydholland"] Resources Mentioned Sponsor affiliate: Hopegivers Service: Apple Family Sharing DNS Filtering - blocks malicious or forbidden websites App: Bark - parental control tool App: Circle - parental control tool Sophos - cybersecurity Life 360 - family safety service If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

To wrap up this series on Money Matters, I wanted to talk about the power of service and generosity in the family and how transformative that could be. In this episode, Lisa Gibson talks about the impact of three generations of generosity and serving as a family. Show Highlights Lisa Gibson is a wife to Brent, the mother of three, and follower of Jesus. She’s an active member of Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church, and also happens to be my wife Emily’s sister. Lisa was profoundly shaped by her parent’s reliance on the Lord and generosity with others, and she and Brent are seeking to model the same spirit in their household. Learning from her own father's generosity, Lisa saw first-hand how it can change lives. She remembers him saying "Ask the Lord to show you people who you can be a blessing to." There is no shortage of people who need your help. In her own family, Lisa and her husband Brent strive to intentionally guide their children in putting feet to their faith on a regular basis. As a family, they host a life group each week, which entails the kids in the family to make small sacrifices like sharing their rooms with others to make space for the group to gather and study the Bible. The Gibson family has also fostered children. They make sure to do a variety of hands-on activities that instill the value of service in their kids, such as cleaning the church cafe once a week and inviting some of the older people in the community over to dinner.  At the same time, remember that you can't schedule out every moment of your family's lives. Leave some space for growth and development, and just time together. While Lisa sees how her children want to serve in their own different ways, she knows there is more room for growth and she believes that the Lord will enable this in their hearts. [bctt tweet=""Ask the Lord to show you people who you can be a blessing to." There is no shortage of people who need your help." username="jaydholland"] Resources Mentioned Sponsor affiliate: Hopegivers Previous episode: Episode 123: Creating a Plan for Summer Growth If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

Parents are often hesitant to talk to their children about sex and money on a personal level. The lack of serious money talkleads to kids who don't know what their parents make and much worse, what things cost. This often gives our kids a skewed perspective of the reality of money and finances.   Show Highlights   It is important to be intentional in teaching your kids about money. Financial wisdom doesn’t come from a lesson, but from hundreds of experiences wisely processed. It is not just important to go through certain experiences, but to process them and learn from them.   Don't automatically bail your kids out of foolish decisions that they make when it comes to money. Praise God for foolish decisions! There's nothing better for a young person to go through than a foolish decision that they own. It will teach them better than most anything else.   There are 5 principles that you should teach your kids to help them to be smart and wise with money:   1.Working –When we talk about finances, the first thing to talk about is working. Emphasize the importance of earning through honest work. Establish a good work ethic in your children. Try not giving them an allowance. Instead, replace it with a commission system in your household to set them up with a mindset that when they put in the hard work, there is a reward to be earned.   2.Giving –Part of your child's hard-earned money should be allotted for giving. This goes to the Church collection, teaching them to give back to the Lord and be involved in the work of God.   3.Saving –Teach your children to be the best friend of their future selves by allotting money for their savings. Motivate them by setting a goal or item they are saving up for.   4.Spending –Guide your children in making wise decisions when spending their money and making their own purchases.   5.Debt –This is harder for children to understand, but is no less important in your child'sfinancially literacy. Start talking to them about debt when they are young to ease them into an awareness of what it is.Teach your kids to pay the Lord first, their future selves next, and live off of what is left. Strive to raise children who are wise, generous, and smart in the way they handle their money.   [bctt tweet="There's nothing better for a young person to go through than a foolish decision that they own." username="jaydholland"]   Resources Mentioned Sponsor: Perfectly Imperfect, Oct 23-24 Sponsor affiliate: Hopegivers The Christian Parenting Podcast Network on www.christianparenting.org Things for Thursday and free e-book: Text THINGS to 66866 Book: Financial Peace Junior Kit by Dave Ramsey Previous episode: Anthony Oneal: Debt Free Degree   If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.   I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.   Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.    

Finances are either going to strengthen your marriage or tear them apart. As parents, your family depends on you developing your financial literacy. Raising a child with a disability, Donna Hosanglearned that the more organized they were as a family in their daily lives, especially in the financial lives, the easier it was for them to handle any unexpected crisis that might arise.   Show Highlights Donna Hosang Certified Financial Coach with the Dave Ramsey Financial Group. She’s also is the retired mother of three and member of Covenant Fellowship Baptist Church. Donna and her late husband John navigated multiple unexpected health and family challenges in theirmarriage, including raising a special needs child who is now in heaven. By God’s Grace, they got their financial house in order early in their marriage, allowing them to thrive in situations where many families drown. Donna has a passion for helping families with wise financial planning to protect themselves from Murphy’s Law.   The first step to getting your finances in order is to establish your budget each month and actually write it down so that you know that it is real. Work on this together with your partner. Both should understand what is going on.   But, despite all your planning, there can always be an unexpected crisis, whether big or small. To prepare for that, establish an emergency fund. Donna suggests setting aside $1,000. This will be there for you if you have a medical emergency or an accident, anything outside of the budget. If you know you're prepared for it financially, you'll worry less.   Ultimately, Donna says what will really make you financially stable is getting yourself out of debt –and if you are not in debt, stay out of it.   Tackle your debt by listing everything down, with the smallest debt first. Instead of paying a little of each every month, systematically knock out your debt by paying the smallest in full first, and so on.   To really be able to finish paying all your debt, you will have to make changes in your daily habits. But, know that as a couple and a family, you do this together.   Though it may seem difficult, Donna says, "It doesn't matter how much debt a family has. There is always a way out."   Once you are out of debt, work on accumulating 3 to 6 months of living expenses set aside.   As you get yourself on more stable ground, work on paying down your mortgage. It will give you even more financial freedom.   Then, you can start tosave up for your retirement and your kids' college. This will set both you and your children up for a more comfortable future.   [bctt tweet="It doesn't matter how much debt a family has. There is always a way out." username="jaydholland"]   Resources Mentioned Sponsor: Perfectly Imperfect, Oct 23-24 The Christian Parenting Podcast Network on www.christianparenting.org Things for Thursday and free e-book: Text THINGS to 66866 Website: www.daveramsey.com Contact Donna: jmhdmhme@aol.com    If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If youwould like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron.   I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage.   Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email  

You may not even realize this, but Jesus speaks of money more than of heaven and hell combined, perhaps more than any singular topic. In fact, 11 of the 39 parables that Jesus teaches are on the topic of money and finances. Finances often trigger anxiety and stress. From what I've experienced, I've realized: my worry was not fixing my financial situation and I belong to Jesus and He is taking care of me. Today, I want to share five over-arching heart principles on money and finance.

Thanks to our sponsor www.lazybearcabinrental.com. The Lazy Bear Cabin is three bedroom, two bathroom cabin in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of Northwest Georgia. Consider this getaway spot as the perfect socially distanced family or romantic getaway. If you know a family who deserves a special vacation, nominate them and tell their story at www.lazybearcabinrental.com to register for a free 3 day, 2 night getaway. Over the years, I've had the chance to pray with parents who are in grief over the current spiritual state of their children who have chosen the path of rebellion. My friend, Shane O'Neill gives a powerful testimony of hope after a long season of rebellion and how his parents were a steadfast witness to him as God brought him back to the faith. Shane O’Neill is the host of The Naked Gospel podcast. He is also the Editorial Director for Proven Ministries, a non-profit, sexual integrity organization that partners with individuals, churches, and organizations to see men, women, and families discover Jesus’ freedom. Shane is currently working on a graduate degree in apologetics at Liberty University’s Rawling School of Divinity.

These days, it's hard to make a distinction between work days and weekends. Many working moms and dads find their weekends overflowing with chores and to-dos, and even recreation that exhausts them, leaving them weary. One of the ten commandments is to "remember the Sabbath and keep it holy" but we tend to ignore this need to rest. Jesus said the Sabbath was a gift that God gave to us, but even I am not very good at receiving that gift. Joy Tanner and her family has been doing a great job at incorporating a regular Sabbath practice in their life. Here's what it looks like to celebrate the Sabbath day with your family and what it can do for your household. Thanks to our sponsor www.lazybearcabinrental.com. The Lazy Bear Cabin is three bedroom, two bathroom cabin in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of Northwest Georgia. Consider this getaway spot as the perfect socially distanced family or romantic getaway. If you know a family who deserves a special vacation, nominate them and tell their story at www.lazybearcabinrental.com to register for a free 3 day, 2 night getaway.

Prayer is what gets us close to the heart of God as we shepherd our children's hearts. After more than 20 years of legitimately seeking the Lord, 18 years of parenting, and thousands of prayers, I have realized three fundamental things:   1.There is no manipulation in prayer. We cannot compel the Lord to do anything for us through prayer.   2.There is great mystery in prayer. Sometimes our prayers are answered in a way that there is no human explanation for it.   3.There is spiritual movement in prayer. I have seen the Lord move in hearts when the outside seems totally hard. We cannot change a child's heart, but we can try to shepherd it. So, whenever you feel overburdened and powerless, needing to pray, but at a loss for words, here are four prayers from scripture that you can pray for your family members:   Ephesians 1:15-23 ESV   Ephesians 3:14-21 ESV   Philippians 1:3-11 ESV   Colossians 1:9-14 ESV

Instilling the concept of service and generosity is one of the most impactful things that we do in the formation of our children's character. It is something that definitely must be started in the home and not just at church. Steven Argue talks to us about the practical strategies that will help grow a heart of service and generosity in our children to ultimately make it a way of life. Thanks to our sponsor www.lazybearcabinrental.com. The Lazy Bear Cabin is three bedroom, two bathroom cabin in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of Northwest Georgia. Consider this getaway spot as the perfect socially distanced family or romantic getaway. If you know a family who deserves a special vacation, nominate them and tell their story at www.lazybearcabinrental.com to register for a free 3 day, 2 night getaway.

Thanks to our sponsor www.lazybearcabinrental.com. The Lazy Bear Cabin is three bedroom, two bathroom cabin in the beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains of Northwest Georgia. Consider this getaway spot as the perfect socially distanced family or romantic getaway. If you know a family who deserves a special vacation, nominate them and tell their story at www.lazybearcabinrental.com to register for a free 3 day, 2 night getaway. Virgil Tanner has been married for 20 years and is a father of four. He has lived on three continents and currently oversees strategy and global operations for a non-profit with hundreds of staff scattered all over the world. For our kids' entire lives, they are going to be confronted by societal complexities that need both the lens of the Gospel and an engaged brain for them to be able to face these issues properly. Virgil and his family have lived everywhere from Nashville to Central Asia and Spain. Because of this, his kids have been exposed to several cultures and have become discerning of what in those cultures are not applicable to their own beliefs. As parents, we should aim to equip our children to hold their own and think clearly, especially when they set out on their own into an environment where everyone is screaming and nobody is thinking carefully before they talk. Keep in mind that it's not a point of inculcating your own beliefs or opinions on your children, but make them strong enough to think and reason out on their own. Identity plays a big role in your child's decision making. If they know who they are and have a strong sense of self, some decisions will come easy. If they know their values and what they stand for, they will also know what is worth their time and energy. Another useful skill you can teach your children to do is to simply notice. See and notice without the need to make an evaluation right away, with the understanding that there are things they do not understand, and notice what they feel about something, and why. The problems our children will encounter in their lives will involve sin. Virgil explains, in the Biblical approach, the primary location of the sin is in the individual human heart, with echoes in the collective and in the systems that humans build. Locating where the evil is in their hearts will empower your children to do something about what is in their locus of control. Let them realize that their actions are under their control and not a result of someone else's actions. They have agency. Get your kids used to the idea of having conversations, not conflicts. Talk to them about the differences between a conversation and a conflict. If there is a winner and a loser at the end, it's not a conversation. If anyone's yelling, it's not a conversation. Conversations are all about understanding each other. Resources Mentioned The Christian Parenting Podcast Network on www.christianparenting.org Things for Thursday and free e-book: Text THINGS to 66866 Previous episode: 186: Leadership Development at Home with Virgil Tanner Virgil's Youtube Channel: Virgil Tanner A couple of my favorite videos from Virgil: Lower the Bar & Making Room for Grief and Lament