Let's Parent on Purpose: Christian Marriage, Parenting, and Discipleship

In the first episode of my new series on Parenting Challenges, I address the truth that “Our friends determine the direction and quality of our lives”. In a unique episode designed for parents to listen to with their children, we discuss how to identify toxic relationships, represented by the acronym MAD GAS (Manipulator, Addict, Deceiver, Gossip, Arguer, and Slug). We then determine the character qualities of a JET PACK friendship (Joyful, Encourager, Trustworthy, Peacemaker, Active, Christ Centered, and Kingdom Minded).   Resources Mentioned:   Sponsor Affiliate: The Hopegivers Stories of Hope Podcast

Every year we make goals that never happen. The problem is not our goals, it’s our systems. As the saying goes “your habits are perfectly suited to give you the life you have.” By learning to focus on our systems, we open the door for radical change in our spiritual life, families, and personal health. Resources Mentioned: Episode 207 Your Future Self Will Thank You With Drew Dyck Episode 208 Cultivating Self Control In Your Children With Drew Dyck Episode 209 Routines for Faith Formation In Our Children with Kenneth Kuhn Sponsor Affiliate: The Hopegivers Stories of Hope Podcast

Faith is built through consistent, small interactions. My guest Ken Kuhn shares how to use meal times, bed times, and other regular routines to strengthen your child’s faith. Through regular questions, prayers of blessings and simple spiritual habits, you can slowly grow your children into the men and women of God who will be a blessing to the world. Ken Kuhn is a Christian education specialist, former family ministry pastor, and coach who focuses on helping young families share Jesus with their kids from a very young age. He is the author of several resources that are intended for parents to use with their children, including the devotional prayer book May They Be Blessed. Resources: May They Be Blessed Book Link Constant Source Website Link Family Devotional Link Sponsor Affiliate:The Hopegivers Stories of Hope Podcast

Show Notes: Author Drew Dyck is back to discuss encouraging self control and willpower in our children. We discuss the difficulties of inspiring self control in young people who do not yet see its merits. Drew shares practical strategies for strengthening self disciple and self control for our children with school, chores, and even their relationships with one another. We also discuss the importance of modeling these behaviors as the adults in our households. Drew Dyckis an editor at Moody Publishers and the former managing editor of Leadership Journal. His work has been featured in USA Today, The Huffington Post, Christianity Today, and CNN.com. Drew is the author of Generation Ex-Christian, Yawning at Tigers, and Your Future Self Will Thank You: Secrets to Self-Control from the Bible and Brain Science. He lives with his wife Grace, and their three children near Portland, Oregon. Connect with Drew at drewdyck.comor on Twitter @DrewDyck. Resources Mentioned Episode 207 Your Future Self Will Thank You Your Future Self Will Thank You by Drew Dyck www.drewdyck.com Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones by James Clear Sponsor Affiliate: The Hopegivers Stories of Hope

We're starting off the New Year with a discussion on willpower and self-control and the Bible and science behind it, with author Drew Dyck. Show Highlights Drew Dyck is an editor at Moody Publishers and the former managing editor of Leadership Journal. His work has been featured in USA Today, the Huffington Post, Christianity Today, and CNN.com. Drew is the author of Generation Ex-Christian and Yawning at Tigers. He lives with his wife Grace and their three children near Portland, Oregon. As we all prepare for the New Year, Drew reminds us, don't despise the small resolutions. Start with two or, even better, just focus on one. You only have so much willpower. Start small but consistent, and if you can power through that 30-60 days of habit formation, it will be cemented in your life. That's when you can start forming another habit. If you approach it in their incremental way, you'll have far more success. Drew was moved to write his book because he realized that he himself needed to grow in the area of self-control. As he start reading about willpower and building healthy habits, he started wondering what he was reading could also help others, especially from the scripture perspective. Where does scripture play in to self-control and willpower? Drew says, most secular self-help books can be effective, but they do not address one major thing: your priorities. As Christians, we want to have our faith and values, to love God and love our neighbor, as the core motivation for everything that we are doing, even the mundane things should be tied to their spiritual significance. Drew also points out that though the scripture is filled with stories of struggle, of difficult things that we have to go through, God is always with us. This is not something we can do ourselves. We need the empowerment of God, striving with His spirit, not against it. Try nailing down where you want to use your willpower by identifying your keystone habits. A keystone habit is one that is not only beneficial in and of itself, but a habit that is beneficial across the spectrum of your life. For instance, nightly family dinners are observed to have benefits for marriages to last longer, kids to have better grades and more. Exercise is another keystone habit. You not only get healthier, but you also start eating better and your productivity will increase. Another keystone habit, just five minutes of prayer and meditation, can increase your self-control for the day. Bible reading and church attendance are other keystone habits. Resources Mentioned Website: www.hopegivers.org Website: drewdyck.com Twitter: @drewdyck Book: Your Future Self Will Thank You If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

For our last episode of the year, and of the Stories of Hope series, you're going to hear the story of Puja, a girl who was taken into a Hope home after her mother murdered her father. Her life is a testament to God's transformative power through Christ. If you enjoy this conversation with Dr. Samuel Thomas, check out the new podcast, Stories of Hope, debuting on Jan. 6. Show Highlights Dr. Samuel Thomas is known throughout India as a leading humanitarian. As president and CEO of Hopegivers, Dr. Thomas helps connect those with a ministry heart in the western world with those in greatest need inIndia and South Asia. The ministry of Hopegivers, started by Dr. Thomas’ father M.A. Thomas, has planted over 70,000 churches and cared for more than 10,000 orphans in the last sixty years. Dr. Samuel, along with his wife Shelly, have two sons, Timothy and Stephen. I met Puja through Dr. Samuel when I visited Hopegivers in India. He first met her mother when Dr. Samuel himself was in jail. Puja's mother was brought in for murdering her husband who had been abusing her for years. The mother recognized Dr. Samuel as someone who often came to her village as a missionary. Knowing that she would be imprisoned for the rest of her life, the mother asked Dr. Samuel to have someone from Hopegivers to take her ten-year-old child into their orphanage. When Dr. Samuel was released from prison, he was finally able to meet Puja. She was grateful for being taken care of at the orphanage, with the ambition to become a policewoman so that she could ensure that her murdered father gets the justice he deserves. Years later, when Dr. Samuel encountered her again, Puja wanted to become a missionary. She said, her time at the orphanage had taught her to forgive her mother and that Jesus had died for her. She wanted to share that good news with others. She is now in charge of 118 boys at an orphanage. Puja now hopes that her mother can make bail and be released from prison so she can come help at the orphanage. That is the joy of knowing Christ. There is nothing that you've been through that Jesus can't redeem. Resources Mentioned Website: www.hopegivers.org If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

The hand of God is absolutely sovereign. Even if you find yourself in circumstances that do not make sense to you, God is moving and God is working. He is not done with you, your children, and your family. Show Highlights Andrew grew up post World War 2 Russian Speaking Soviet refugee. He spent his childhood in a refugee camp in Australia before immigrating to the United States in 1958 as a teenager. His education and business career in Chemicals and Plastics took him to San Francisco, New York, Indonesia, Singapore, Malaysia, Hong Kong, Harvard Business School, and throughout South America. Most importantly, he became a follower of Jesus through the young woman who has been his wife for fifty years, Andrea. The Engelmans have two daughters, five grandchildren, and split their time between their south Florida home and the northern states where their children and grandkids live. As a refugee in Australia at the young age of five, Andrew grew up in a situation that was far different and more difficult than that of most children. Through persistence and determination, he made it to the US as a teenager. His stint in the Peace Corps brought him to Iran. It was in New York that he met his future wife, Andrea, who he saw one day at the rooftop of their apartment building, reading the Book of Romans. That's when he started to commit himself to the Lord. It was important for Andrew for his children to be believers and for them to marry believers as well so that they would have someone to go through stresses and strains of a secular world with.  As a business man, Andrew also noticed how the normal standards and principles for people to get ahead in the business world are contrary to the ways of God.  My reliance on my faith and my wife sharpened me in those times when my flesh would prevail over my spirit. Looking back on his experiences, Andrew says, "If there's a message that I can give... it's for young people to be relentless in the pursuit of something that interests them, to put themselves in situations of deep water so they can understand their full potential, and to be in the word as much as possible." Andrew's life experiences are not ones that would usually lead towards the Lord, but it's obvious that the Lord was already moving in his life, leading him eventually to become a believer. Because his own spiritual grow was slow, Andrew values the idea of starting children's spiritual growth early and young.   Put your children in the environment of youth groups and fellowships with other believers so they can develop their Christian worldview.    [bctt tweet="My reliance on my faith and my wife sharpened me in those times when my flesh would prevail over my spirit." username="jaydholland"] If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

Diana Grounds is one of my heroes. As a parent, she has endured more trials and challenges than most of us ever will. Yet, she is still filled with the joy of Jesus like very few people I have ever known and she is one of the best examples of keeping hope and faith through it all. Show Highlights Diana Grounds is a mother of four children, two of which have proceeded her to heaven. She and Charles, her husband of 53 years, have followed Jesus through the death of one son to leukemia, another daughter to a heart condition, the brain aneurysms of a third child, and a terrifying path of drugs and rebellion for a forth child. Diana’s hope in Jesus radiates through her severe trials. She has served in various roles at Fellowship Baptist Church in Barboursville, WV, and is a national speaker with the Christian Women’s Connection. Through everything Diana had been through with each of her children, she finally came to realize: "I have to take God at his word." Trust in Him and lift up to Him what we have no control over. Clinging to the words in the Bible, she learned, "I did not have to be afraid because He is God. I don't have to be dismayed or discouraged because He is my God." God will provide the strength and help you need. Just experiencing one of these challenges is overwhelming enough, but the difficult situations strengthened Diana's faith in God's promises. "I could praise the Lord even with our son and daughters' illnesses." It was harder to deal with her eldest daughter becoming addicted to drugs because she felt somehow responsible for it as a parent. To overcome this, Diana actively looked for ways to help her daughter towards recovery. She ended up having her daughter arrested and committed to a home. It was a difficult decision to make, but a necessary one. "I was able to place her in God's care, expecting Him to accomplish what I couldn't." Knowing that God could do what she could not released a lot of guilt from Diana as a mother. No parent wants to – or should – have to bury their own child. Diana had to bury two. Still, she has also witnessed big and small moments of God's blessings. "His grace is sufficient." [bctt tweet="I could praise the Lord even with our son and daughters' illnesses." username="jaydholland"] Resources Mentioned Sponsor Affiliate: Christian Parenting Website: http://www.christianwomenconnection.org If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

To begin our new series, Stories of Hope, I can't think of a more hopeful testimony to begin with than Rep. Brian Mast who survived an IED explosion in Afghanistan, overcame the loss of both his legs, and now serves in the United States Congress. Show Highlights Congressman Brian Mast is in his second term representing the 18th Congressional District of Florida. Prior to his election to Congress, Brian followed in his father’s footsteps by serving in the U.S. Army for more than 12 years, earning medals including The Bronze Star Medal, The Army Commendation Medal for Valor, The Purple Heart Medal, and The Defense Meritorious Service Medal. While deployed in Afghanistan, he worked as a bomb disposal expert under the elite Joint Special Operations Command. The last improvised explosive device that he found resulted in catastrophic injuries, which included the loss of both of his legs. While lying in bed recovering at Walter Reed Medical Center, Brian’s father gave him advice that has stuck with him to this day--to ensure the greatest service he gave to our country and the best example he set for his children was still ahead of him. Brian took this advice to heart and dedicated himself to finding new ways to serve our country and his community. As a bomb technician in the military, Brian knew that his job was inherently dangerous. Like those in law enforcement, first responders, and firefighters, Brian says you know the risks, then you take the time to learn how to mitigate the risks. You can't totally avoid all of them, but you realize that you are serving something more important than yourself, so the risks are acceptable to you. "If something happens to you, it will be without regret because of what you are serving." He adds, having you family's support matters a lot as you enter a difficult and dangerous responsibility. Brian had a wife and new born baby when he encountered a serious accident on the battlefield. He says, the struggle beyond physical pain is the psychological pain of the unknown. At that point, losing both his legs made him question his purpose of life, and whether he would ever be able to carry kids or play ball with them. One thought that kept him going while he was bedridden was: How do I still serve my country and continue to set a good example for kids? Eventually, Brian found himself fighting on a new battlefield – the congress, fighting with words and ideology over a better direction for the country. Losing his legs not only changed Brian's future, but also his relationship with God. He says, "Every miracle in the bible was not a passive miracle." Everybody who received a miracle had to do something actively despite being uncertain as they were doing it. This became a turning point in Brian's life, realizing that he had to be an active part of learning to walk again. From everything he has been through, Brian leaves us with two questions: Do you have courage in your life to be bold, daring, brave, to go out into the unknown? Do you have the will, drive, and fortitude to do everything you can do to make sure you don't fail at the dreams you have courage to pursue? Resources Mentioned Brian's website: https://mast.house.gov Website: Operation 300 Website: Believe with Me Facebook: 25 United Disaster Relief If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.

Pornography is becoming an issue for younger and younger Christian youth – and a challenge for their parents. For our final episode in the Technology and Family series, we talk about this often hard-to-breach subject, with a message of freedom and hope from guest Shane O'Neill. Show Highlights Shane O’Neill is the host of The Naked Gospel podcast. He is also the Editorial Director for Proven Ministries, a non-profit, sexual integrity organization that partners with individuals, churches, and organizations to see men, women, and families discover Jesus’ freedom. Shane is currently working on a graduate degree in apologetics at Liberty University’s Rawling School of Divinity. "I needed to re-imagine with a biblical ethic the value of my body," Shane says on his own addiction. Our addictions often stem from the need to anesthetize ourselves from pain or as a stimulant, just like a drug. Pornography, especially in the technological age, has everything needed to form a habit – being obvious, easy, attractive, and rewarding in an immediate way. Getting over the addiction means taking time to re-train these habits. Your kids' devices are constantly being updated with apps and it gets easier and easier for them to view pornography, even accidentally, at a younger age. Understandably, when a parent catches their child watching porn, the immediate response is to scold them, but remember that often a child stumbling upon pornography for the first time is usually just exploring or expressing wonder. Instead, try to sit down and have a serious conversation with them to answer their questions about intimacy. Parents can go through a range of emotions dealing with their kids' exposure to pornography. There is fear for the path of addiction they might go down; guilt that they did not protect their children well enough; shame of making their kids feel dirty in their response. Process this situation with your child in a healthy way. There are ways to walk with your child though this. There are practical ways to deal with technology, but even more so, show your kids that intimacy can be beautiful with marriage. Rather than having them look for answers to their questions elsewhere, be there to answer their questions in a healthy way. [bctt tweet="I needed to re-imagine with a biblical ethic the value of my body" username="jaydholland"] Resources Mentioned Sponsor affiliate: Hopegivers Website: www.provenmen.org Podcast: The Naked Gospel Book: Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson Book: Good Pictures, Bad Pictures by Kristen Jenson Previous episode: The Prodigal Son Comes Home with Shane O'Neill If you find this podcast helpful, you can subscribe  and click here to find past topics and free resources. Feel free to share with others, as well! If you would like to help support Let’s Parent on Purpose, you can do so by becoming a patron. I send a weekly email called “Things for Thursday” and it includes things I’ve found helpful related to parenting, marriage, and sometimes just things I find funny! You can sign up for “Things for Thursday” by joining my newsletter on my homepage. Thank you for your continued support of this podcast. If you have a prayer request or if you have a topic suggestion or question, please contact me at my email.