ON BOYS Podcast

Exploring the misunderstood magic of middle school years, focusing on the unique developmental needs of middle schoolers. Discussing the stages of belonging, achievement, and authenticity in adolescence. Highlighting the importance of creating a supportive environment and guiding tweens through their identity exploration.

Most schools today aren’t boy-friendly. That’s one (big!) reason why boys lag behind girls academically. And why so many boys hate going to school. Tyler, a 16-year-old Texas boy, started struggling in middle school. Recess was no more. Classes were 90 minutes long. So, “he found it really hard to sit still in class,” says Julie Jargon, the Wall Street Journal Family & Tech columnist who interviewed Tyler for her series on boys and education. Now a high school student, Tyler suggests that “instead of making guys change the way they behave, maybe schools should change the way they’re structured.”Boy-friendly education practicesMovement helps humans remain alert and engaged. Simply shifting activities every 15 minutes or so can boost boys’ (and girls’) performance in the classroom. Time outside is helpful as well. Visual cues can help keep boys on track too. Boy-friendly schools also prioritize hands-on learning.“A lot of these things that are beneficial for boys are the same for girls. It’s not that girls need something vastly different,” Julie says. “The things that benefit boys also benefit girls. You can adopt boy-friendly practices in your school without being unfriendly to girls.”All students benefit from time to reflect on — and correct — academic, social, and behavioral mistakes. One of the all-boys schools Julie wrote about uses a restorative justice approach, she says.“Instead of just punishing them, they give boys an opportunity to talk about it and apologize,” Julie says. That approach helps boys hone their emotional intelligence and communication skills.In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Julie discuss:Why so many boys struggle in middle schoolHow misunderstanding male development contributes to boys’ problems in schoolWorkarounds parents use to help boysBoy-friendly education practicesPushing back against developmentally inappropriate expectationsSingle-sex vs coed schools & classesSupport for parents of boysLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Boys are Struggling. It Can Take Coaches, Tutors, and Thousands a Month to Fix That — WSJ article by JulieInside the Schools Where Boys Can Be Boys — WSJ article by JulieLosing a Grandparent Hurts Boys at School — Scientific American articleSet Boys Up for School Success — ON BOYS episodeBoys in School Task Force –– ON BOYS episodeThe Gender Equation in Schools — ON BOYS episodeBoy Moms as Boy Advocates — ON BOYS episode featuring Gemma GaudetteSponsor Spotlight: WinonaMenopause care made easy!Visit bywinona.com/onboys & use code ONBOYS to get 25% your first order.Sponsor Spotlight: Dabble & DollopNatural bath products for kidsSponsor Spotlight: HomeThreadsMake your home family friendly. Use this link to get 15% off. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Modern male puberty starts earlier than you think.It may start as early as age 9 in boys – which means that the mood swings you’re seeing in your 10-year-old son could well be puberty-related. After all, as Cara Natterson & Vanessa Kroll Bennett write in their book This is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained, “The very first sign of puberty in most kids is a slamming door.” Most parents of boys aren’t prepared for male puberty. (And may be in denial when the first signs start appearing.) The earliest physical symptoms of male puberty aren’t obvious & typically occur around the same time your son starts seeking more privacy. So “you might not actually know when your kid is in puberty,” Vanessa says.Why your 10-year-old son may be acting like a 16-year-oldSex hormones fuel the physical changes that occur during puberty. (Testosterone is the primary male sex hormone.) These hormones also have a tremendous impact on our kids’ moods and well-being. And high levels of testosterone are linked to rage, as well as boys’ “swing to silence” during puberty.“When those hormones rise and fall, they do not do so gracefully,” says Cara, a pediatrician. “They do not do so slowly. It’s high, high, HIGH, rapid surge, and then you’re off the edge of the cliff and you’re pummeling to the floor. Those hormones drop and bottom out.” These swings can happen in a matter of hours. And that, Cara says, “is what you are seeing when your kid behaves like a jerk.”Kids don’t enjoy those sudden shifts and swings either. “Their brain is being bathed in a stew of hormones that is not familiar to them, and they don’t know how to manage how they feel as a result of this cocktail that is saturating all of the neurons in the brain,” Cara says.Boys’ brains are still maturing during puberty too. They don’t yet have fully mature emotional regulation systems. And while they need to learn how to control their behavior, it takes time (and, typically, many mistakes) to develop consistent behavioral control. So, parents, educators, and other adults need to extend grace and compassion to tweens and teens.“We have to give them the benefit of the doubt,” Vanessa says. “And give them a way back. They don’t feel good when they get that angry or emotional or react violently. They may feel ashamed or embarrassed.”Surviving your son’s adolescenceIt is completely normal to feel grief, doubt, anger, and fear as your son moves through puberty. During adolescence, boys (and girls) pull away from their parents. That separation is necessary and normal, but can feel like rejection to parents. It’s okay to grieve and feel sad. Take comfort, though, in the fact that boys typically “come back” to their parents as they reach the far side of puberty.Your son may well be annoying, thoughtless, disrespectful, disorganized, smelly, and messy during puberty. None of that means he’ll end up that way as an adult. And none of it means that you’re doing (or have done) something wrong.“The path to building kind, empathic, loving, thoughtful men is a very windy, bumpy road,” Vanessa says. “And at every step of the way, it can be really tempting to lose faith.”When a boy reacts angrily or violently, stay calm. Give them space. Connect with them after they’ve cooled down. During calmer times, teach & talk about emotions. Navigate puberty along your son, seeking support as needed.In this episode, Jen, Cara, & Vanessa discuss:The #1 question Cara & Vanessa get about male pubertyAcknowledging the grief & sadness you may feel as your son enters pubertyBuilding menHow (& why) hormones affect teen boys’ behaviorPuberty & perimenopauseHelping boys manage their mood swingsWet dreamsTalking about safer sex, contraception, family planning, intimacy, consent, & loving relationshipsLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:This is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained, by Cara Natterson, MD & Vanessa Kroll Bennettlessawkward.com — Cara & Vanessa’s website (includes links to their books, newsletter, podcast, & talks)The Puberty Podcast — Cara & Vanessa’s podcast (Don’t miss Jen on their podcast — Building Boys with Jennifer Fink)Decoding Boys w Dr. Cara Natterson –– ON BOYS episodeThe Truth About Parenting Teen Boys — the famous BuildingBoys post about 14-yr-old boys being a**holesPuberty, Perimenopause, & Midlife Parenting — ON BOYS episodeGuy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys, by Cara NattersonGuy Stuff Feelings: Everything You Need to Know About Your Emotions, by Cara NattersonSponsor Spotlight: HomeThreadsMake your home family friendly. Use this link to get 15% off.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

There’s a connection between adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) & muscle dysmorphia, which is a strong desire to bulk up your body.According to new research by Kyle Ganson, an assistant professor in Canada & a licensed clinical social worker who’s worked with teenagers & young adults, boys who experience abuse, neglect, incarceration or divorce of a parent, poverty, or parental mental illness or substance use, are more likely to develop muscle dysmorphia. That’s important because it a) suggests ways to prevent muscle dysmorphia and b) indicates which boys may benefit from screening and intervention.Many well-meaning adults miss (or ignore) the symptoms of muscle dysmorphia because, on the surface, many of those symptoms appear healthy. A sudden, dedicated interest in fitness is often praised by parents & coaches; so is boys’ desire to “eat healthy.” But muscle dysmorphia is unhealthy and can become physically and emotionally damaging. Boys and men who are obsessed with bulking up may prioritize working out over all else. They may decline social outings and family gatherings that revolve around food.Adults may assume that a boy’s desire to bulk up is rooted in his desire to obtain a specific “look.” But “sometimes for boys, it’s not always about the aesthetic appearance; it’s about the function,” Kyle says. That may be especially true for boys who were bullied or abused.What the research says about ACES & muscle dysmorphiaKyle’s research showed that children who experience 5 or more ACEs are more likely than others to develop symptoms of muscle dysmorphia. That association “was particularly strong for boys & young men,” he says. In fact, 30% of young boys who had 5 or more ACES were at clinical risk of muscle dysmorphia. (For comparison, only 10% of the girls who had 5 or more ACEs were at clinical risk of muscle dysmorphia.) The researchers also found that boys who experienced multiple ACEs were more likely than others to use performance enhancing drugs and supplements.Please note: Not all children who have ACEs experience adverse outcomes. However, if your son has a history of ACEs, stay alert for possible symptoms of muscle dysmorphia. If he shows a sudden interest in going to the gym or changing his diet, Kyle recommends approaching him with “respectful curiosity.” Ask questions; listen carefully.In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Kyle discuss:Symptoms of muscle dysmorphiaThe link between ACEs & muscle dysmorphiaWhy ACES may increase the risk of muscle dysmorphia for boysDealing with diet cultureTalking to healthcare professionals about muscle dysmorphiaLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Adverse Childhood Experiences and Muscle Dysmorphia Symptomatology: Findings from a Sample of Canadian Adolescents and Young Adults — Kyle’s research studyBody Image, Eating Disorders, & Boys — ON BOYS episodeHelping Boys Develop Healthy Body Image — ON BOYS episodeBoys & Body Image — ON BOYS episodeWhy Now is the Best Time to Raise Boys (w Michael Reichert) — ON BOYS episodePicky Eaters, Family Meals, & Nutrition — ON BOYS episodeSponsor Spotlight: HomeThreadsMake your home family friendly. Use this link to get 15% off.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How can boys experience school success? Parents and educators frequently ask, “How do we help boys thrive in school?” A question we rarely ask is, What can boys do to set themselves up for school success? What can we do to help boys successfully navigate school?“It’s really essential that we, as parents & educators of boys, are preparing them to navigate the struggles within school,” says Dr. Todd (Jason) Feltman, author of Transforming into a Powerful Third, Fourth, or 5th Grade Navigator of School Success.  “It’s not just the academic struggles but also the socialization, the physical and emotional struggles.”Equipping boys with strategies they can use to manage these stressors can increase their confidence & school success.Strategies to Help Boys SucceedGenerally speaking, boys have a hard time sitting still in the classroom. Todd recommends addressing this issue head-on with your boy. Talk about this challenge & help him brainstorm ways to incorporate movement. Teach him how to self-advocate with his teacher. (Perhaps they could agree on a non-verbal signal that could mean it’s okay to stand and stretch.)Allowing boys to draw before beginning a writing assignment can also be helpful. (Many boys think visually – and many elementary school-aged boys struggle with handwriting and spelling.)“Every student has strengths,” Todd says. “We need to teach them how to unpack and apply their strength. I know that boys can take charge of their education.”In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Todd discuss:Why 3rd, 4th, & 5th grade are so challenging for boysHelping boys self-advocateThe link between sleep & learningTeaching boys organization (Note: modeling, mentoring, & regular practice helps!)Why should you ask for boys’ inputWhat to say when a boy says “the teacher doesn’t like me”Setting high expectations for school successDevelopmentally appropriate school expectationsLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:toddfeltman.com — Todd’s websiteTransforming into a Powerful Third, Fourth, or Fifth Grade Navigator of School Success, by Dr. Todd (Jason) FeltmanMentoring My Elementary- and Middle-School Students to Become Powerful Navigators of Success, by Dr. Todd FeltmanBuilding Boys’ Reading & Literacy Skills — previous ON BOYS episode w Dr. FeltmanSponsor Spotlight: ByHeart Get 10% off your first order using code ONBOYS at byheart.comSponsor Spotlight: HomeThreadsMake your home family friendly. Use this link to get 15% off. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Color blindness affects a lot of boys.In fact, 1 in 12 males are color blind. They perceive color differently than most humans. Some see shades of tan instead of vivid reds and greens. Some see life in black, white, and grey. Many don’t realize that they see things differently than their peers, teachers, and parents. And many parents and teachers don’t realize that their boys are colorblind – which can lead to unnecessary learning complications and affect boys’ learning.Signs of Color BlindnessJessica Fleming, a writer & mom of 4 sons (currently age 9, 7, 5, and 5), first realized her 7-year-old son’s vision was different when she asked her boys to sort the books in her office by color. After a few minutes, her oldest son declared, “Everett doesn’t know his colors!” and pointed out a couple out-of-place books, including a pink tome. Further questioning revealed that her second-grade son was as confused by his “mistakes” as the rest of his family.Then Jessica remembered that she had an uncle who was colorblind. She found a color blindness test online, administered it to her son, and learned he has a vision deficiency. A follow up visit to an ophthalmologist revealed that her son has a red/green vision deficiency, the most common kind of color blindness. To him, red and green look virtually the same — almost like a khaki brown.Some kids who are colorblind don’t like art — so pay attention and dig a little deeper if your son avoids (or complains about!) art activities. (P.S. Sam, Jen’s son, is not colorblind!)Unfortunately, color blindness is often not diagnosed until a child is in middle school. Some people are adults when they first realize they are color blind.How Color Blindness Affects Boys’ EducationContrary to popular belief, color blindness can affect quality of life. Early childhood and elementary school education depends heavily on color cues and visual processing, so kids who are colorblind may struggle in school. Many children who are colorblind are in special ed classes – perhaps because they couldn’t see and access information as easily as their peers.If you suspect (or know) that your son is colorblind, tell his teachers ASAP. Simple accommodations, such as printing things in black-and-white instead of color, can help him. Ensuring a high contrast between print and background colors is also helpful. Another: Instead of color-coding maps and graphs, use patterns, such as polka dots and stripes. Be sure art supplies are labeled with the color name. Color vision-correcting glasses are also available.Kids who are color blind are also eligible for a 504 plan.Testing Can Easily Detect Color BlindnessOnly 11 states test for colorblindness during vision screenings at school, even though the test is non-invasive, cheap, and easy to administer. Jessica recommends administering an online screening test to all kids.In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Jessica discuss:Signs and symptomsTypes of color blindnessTesting for color blindnessGenetics of color blindnessAdaptations to help kids who are color blindAdvocating for color blind kidsLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Countless Kids are Colorblind – and Don’t Know About It. Here’s How to Help — Jessica’s Washington Post articleRoanoke City Schools Discover Hundreds of Students May be Color BlindEnchroma online color blindness testMyths & Misconceptions About Boys — previous ON BOYS episode with JessicaBoy Moms as Boys Advocates — ON BOYS episode with Gemma Gaudette Sponsor Spotlight: ByHeart Get 10% off your first order using code ONBOYS at byheart.comSponsor Spotlight: HomeThreadsLove where you liveAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Which ON BOYS episodes were the Best of 2023? Photo by Photo by Engin Akyurt via PexelsYour favorites include:5. Simplicity Parenting with Kim John PayneSimplicity parenting prioritizes a balanced schedule, predictable rhythm, and decluttered, information-filtered family environment…The antidote to constant overwhelm is simple, Payne says. It’s simplicity. He advises parents to “dial back”…4. Parental Accommodation & ADHD (featuring ADHD Dude Ryan Wexelblatt)“Parental accommodation is when parents change their behavior to alleviate or avoid their child’s temporary distress,” Ryan says. It’s often done out of love — and fear. Doing so may avoid some conflict, but it allows unhelpful behaviors to continue….3. Talking to Tween & Teen Boys (featuring Johnathon Reed of NextGenMen)…boys won’t necessarily tell you about their problems. “If boys are struggling, often they’re struggling in silence,” Reed says. “There’s still a stigma against asking for help, particularly when it also means admitting a weakness or a vulnerability.”2. Teen Boys’ Emotional LIves (featuring Brendan Kwiatkowski, PhD)…the #1 reason why teen boys restrict emotion (& emotional expression) is because “they don’t want to burden other people.”The #2 reason is “fear of judgment.”1. Parenting “Spicy” Boys (featuring Mary Van Geffen)“Spicy” boys are those who express themselves in big and loud ways, feel things intensely, and have energy to spare…They often are very persistent and quite emotionally intelligent.A few of our other 2023 favorites:Building Boys in a World that Misunderstands MalesWhat Middle School Boys NeedPhyllis Fagell Discuss Middle School SuperpowersNonverbal Communication with BoysBoys, Babies, & BreastfeedingCalm the Chaos: Parenting Challenging KidsEmotional Lives of TeensWhy Now is the Best Time to Raise BoysSponsor Spotlight: ByHeart Get 10% off your first order using code ONBOYS at byheart.comSponsor Spotlight: Better HelpTherapy to help you live a more empowered life. Go to BetterHelp.com/onboys to save 10% Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Our January 5 conversation with Mary Van Geffen, Parenting “Spicy” Boys, is ON BOYS’ Most Popular Episode of 2023. (And Jen’s sons’ least favorite! Gen Z defines “spicy” quite differently than we’re using it here.)Sure, this episode, released early in the year, had the benefit of time. But Mary’s message also resonates with frustrated and overwhelmed parents of boys. As she told us,“Spicy” boys are those who express themselves in big and loud ways, feel things intensely, and have energy to spare. They “have so much loyalty toward their own soul — and less to the adults’ agenda.”Mary’s audience continues to grow — she has over 286,000 Instagram followers! — because parents need help supporting their strong, spicy kids. You’ll want to listen to this episode more than once because a) it contains a lot of wisdom and b) because your spicy kids are now likely challenging you in ways they weren’t the first time you listened!In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Mary discuss:Characteristics of a Spicy OneWhy shame-based discipline approaches don’t work with spicy boysHow your perceptions affect your parenting & relationship w your childParenting when you are spicy or highly sensitiveA sensual pause technique you can use to calm your nervous systemHow changing your voice can help you reach your kidsSetting boundaries & managing others’ expectationsGrocery shopping with boysLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:maryvangeffen.com – Mary’s websitehttps://www.instagram.com/maryvangeffen/ — Mary on InstagramHighly Sensitive People Can Thrive — ON BOYS episodeHighly Sensitive Boys with William Allen — ON BOYS episodeSensitive Boys (w Dr. Sandy Gluckman) — ON BOYS episodeBrain-Body Parenting w Dr. Mona Delahooke — ON BOYS episodePositive Intelligence: Why Only 20% of Teams and Individuals Achieve Their True Potential and How You Can Achieve Yours — book by Shirzad Chamine (recommended by Mary)Sponsor Spotlight: ByHeart Get 10% off your first order using code ONBOYS at byheart.comSponsor Spotlight: Better HelpTherapy to help you live a more empowered life. Go to BetterHelp.com/onboys to save 10%Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

YouTube isn’t all entertainment and education. Misogyny, racism, and porn lurk there too.It can be really difficult to keep up with what our boys are watching online, though. Creators come & go, interests change, one click can lead to, well, anywhere.Boys love YouTubeYouTube is ubiquitous these days. Gaming and challenge videos (think Mr. Beast) are certainly popular with boys, but many also engage in educational content on the site.“It’s Google and YouTube,” says Cindy Marie Jenkins, founder of OutThink Media. “Those are the search engines” people now use to find information. It’s better, safer, and more effective to teach your boys how to navigate YouTube (and other online spaces) than it is to ban them all together. (Especially because motivated kids can get around almost any parental control!)“We have a massive responsibility to give boys the tools they need to be amazing people,” Cindy says. Parents and other adults can (& should) mentor and guide children as they explore online. Here’s how:Build your relationship, so your boys know they can talk to you without judgement. “Let them know that you are interested & want to be involved,” Cindy says. “Not in a dictatorial way, but in a ‘let’s have conversations about this’ way.” Express curiosity.Build boys’ critical thinking skills, both so they’re better able to understand and process what they see and hear online and so they’re prepared to discuss online personalities, ideas, and videos with their friends.YouTube videos can radicalize boysYou can certainly find blatant misogyny, misandry, hate, and racism on YouTube. But most boys don’t watch those videos. Many, however, watch creators who casually “slide in” comments that may appear to jokes but might also consistently point blame at a particular group of people. You might notice, for instance, that five “jokes” in a row singled out Black people as the antagonists, Cindy says.Certain things that may seem relatively harmless on the surface can lead to more extreme videos and ideas. “Trad” content, emphasizes traditional gender roles and female submission to men in marriage. It can celebrate women as homemakers and men as providers — and can convince some boys that males should be dominant in relationships and the females are meant to submit to their leadership.The pathway to extremism is not necessarily obvious. “It can start with something small and then blow up into, ‘This is what’s wrong with everything,'” Cindy says.How to protect your kids onlineLISTEN to what your kids are talking about. And listen to what they say when you ask them about the videos and creators they see online. Pay attention if your kids seem to be obsessing or angry about certain topics or ideas.Ask questions with curiosity. Use, but don’t completely trust, parental controls and filtering software.Talk about trending videos, movies, ideas, and games. Share your perspective and add context. You can also seek out and share YouTube videos about creators’ personal experiences with hate, misogyny, and racism. Cindy “watches YouTube so you don’t have to,” so you can check her site OutThink Media, to learn more about the creators, gamers, and YouTubers your kids are watching.In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Cindy discuss:Educational power of YouTubeHow to mentor and guide kids’ YouTube useTrad wivesThe Great Replacement theoryGamergateKids’ parasocial relationships with YouTubersDoxxingDiscussing mediaLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:OutThink Media — Cindy’s websiteWhy I’m Not Worried About Screen Time — Jen’s BuildingBoys post (the one about Sam studding his bike tires)How One Mom Talks to Her Sons About Hate on the Internet — NPR story about Joanna Schroeder‘s viral Tweet threadYouTube Merch Part 1: 7 Reasons Not to Buy Prime Energy Drink — OutThink Media post about energy drink promoted by (former YouTuber) Logan PaulSisters in Hate: American Women & White Extremism, by Seyward Darby — thought-provoking book that details how individuals become extremistsAmy Lang on How to Keep Boys Safe Online –– ON BOYS podcast episodeSocial Media Safety — ON BOYS podcast episodeSponsor Spotlight: Better HelpTherapy to help you live a more empowered life. Go to BetterHelp.com/onboys to save 10%Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

America’s marriage coach, Dr. Jacquie Del Rosario, says nature and nurture affect our relationships.Moms are concerned with a lot of things at once; Dads tend to focus on one thing at a time. Many moms derive a sense of security from planning ahead for all possible contingencies. Dads tend to react to life as it happens. Females generally process information more quickly than males as well because women have more language centers in the brain than men do. These differences can lead to conflict and confusion.Learning to navigate these differences can help us build stronger relationships and families.“If our relationship is strong, our ability to parent is also better,” Dr. Jacquie says. “Our ability to raise strong and whole children is better.”Healthy Relationship StrategiesEffective communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. A few strategies she recommends include:Using “I statements.” Don’t start with an accusation. Instead, calmly communicate your current mindset and needs with “I statements”: I’m feeling really overwhelmed right now. I need some help getting dinner on the table. Reflective listening. Repeat back what your partner is saying, to give them a chance to clarify. This technique can be especially helpful for busy parents because “when you are sleep-deprived or in a heightened emotional state, you tend to mis-hear or mis-process information,” Dr. Jacquie says.Asking for what you want. Avoiding this conversation because you’re afraid of the result isn’t helpful. You may avoid conflict in the near-term, but over time, resentment can build. Focus instead on what you need to express and then “choose your time and place,” Dr. Jacquie says.Scheduling regular time to connect. Build conversation time into your lifestyle. If you don’t, it’s too easy to get distracted by other priorities (& exhaustion!). Dr. Jacquie and her husband spend the 30 minutes before sleep with each other nightly. “We mostly talk,” she says. “We talk about our day, about our aspirations, about our children, whatever needs to be discussed.” Planning time to sexual connection is also helpful. (Pro tip: Keeping your children on a schedule makes it easier for you and your partner to have regular time together!)Realistic expectations are important too.“Marriage does not make you happy forever,” Dr. Jacquie says. “You will have ebbs and flows in your marriage. Marriage, like all relationships, is messy.”In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Dr. Jacquie discuss:How biology affects our thinking & relationshipsWhy you need to nurture your adult relationshipsMaternal gatekeepingThe impact of fathersIntimacy7 pillars of compatibilityLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:drjacquie.com — Dr. Jacquie’s websiteSingle Parenting w Wealthy Single Mommy Emma Johnson — ON BOYS episode Sponsor Spotlight: Better HelpTherapy to help you live a more empowered life. Go to BetterHelp.com/onboys to save 10% Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy