ON BOYS Podcast

Advocating for boys is one way to help boys and men thrive.At present, there are no governmental commissions working on behalf of boys and men in the United States. Not at the federal level & not at the state level. Even though boys lag behind girls in academic achievement and boys & men experience suicide, murder, drug & alcohol addiction, homelessness, incarceration, & early death at disproportionately high rates. And even though there are multiple commissions dedicated to addressing & advancing the needs of girls and women.Blair Daly, founder of the Washington Initiative for Boys & Men (WIBM) is working to change that.“The male population, I think, can be described as an under-advocated-for population group,” Blair says. “There’s very little organized advocacy.”That’s why he created WIBM, which combines advocacy journalism and grassroots political action to draw attention to the unique needs of boys and men in Washington state. As a result, Washington state may become the first state in the US to establish a Commission on Boys & Men.“Without a focus on the male population, we think a lot is being missed,” Blair says. Advocacy is necessary to focus attention on (& find solutions for) issues that disproportionately harm boys & men.In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Blair discuss:Why boys need advocacyChallenges in advocating for boys & menDeveloping and demonstrating diverse support for boysHow to talk about boys’ issuesThe power of local advocacyWhy moms of boys are such great advocates for boysHow to start advocating for boysLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Washington Initiative for Boys & Men7 Democrats, 7 Republicans Sponsor 2024 Commission on Boys & Men Legislation — article highlighting the diverse support for a WA Commission on Boys & MenUpdated one-pager about WA legislation to develop a Commission on Boys & MenWhat is the Washington Initiative for Boys & Men? Blair Daly Explains — YouTube videoBoys Moms as Boy Advocates — ON BOYS episode featuring Gemma Gaudette50/50 Shared Parenting — ON BOYS episodeReal Talk about Fentanyl, Opioids, & Marijuana — ON BOYS episodeTalk with Boys Like a PRO (about anything & everything!) — Jen & Janet’s upcoming course (starts May 7, 2024)Sponsor Spotlight: My Life in a BookSponsor Spotlight: ArmoireClothing rental subscription that makes getting dressed easier. Visit armoire.style/ONBOYS to get up to 50% OFF your first month.Sponsor Spotlight: ByHeart Get 10% off your first order using code ONBOYS at byheart.comSponsor Spotlight: Factor Use code ONBOYS50 for 50% off Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Gifted & twice-exceptional boys often struggle in school, despite their intelligence & talents.In fact, boys who are gifted or twice-exceptional (which means they are gifted & have a learning disability) are considered “problem kids.” Teachers (and other adults) may make boredom as lack of focus, or assume that poor grades indicate lack of intelligence. For many 2E boys, their learning disabilities overshadow their giftedness; for others, their giftedness hides their learning disabilities, says Deborah (Deb) Gennarelli, a gifted education specialist who is also the author of Twice-Exceptional Boys: A Roadmap to Getting it Right. Intensity is part of giftedness — a part that frequently presents challenges for gifted & 2E boys. “Intensity is treated different in boys than in girls in this culture,” Deb says. Teachers & parents may punish or try to “fix” boys’ intensity, which typically only creates more problems.Gifted & 2E boys need support to thrive. “We can’t ignore the fact that students that have high intelligence look at things in different ways, behave in different ways, learn in different ways,” Deb says. “With the right support, these boys can go from surviving to thriving.”In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Deb discuss:Myths & misconceptions about gifted & 2E boysSpecial challenges for gifted & 2E boysWhy many smart boys struggle in schoolAdvocating for gifted & 2E boysParenting gifted & 2E boysLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Twice-Exceptional Boys: A Roadmap to Getting it Right, by Deborah Gennarelli, M.Ed.www.deborahgennarelli.com — Deb’s websiteTwice-Exceptional Boys (w Ramsey Hootman) — ON BOYS episodeWhen Your Kid is the Classroom Problem Child — heartbreaking The Cut article about a 2E boyTwice Exceptional Students — info from the National Association for Gifted ChildrenTwice Exceptional — classic Building Boys postTalk with Boys Like a PRO (about anything & everything!) — Jen & Janet’s upcoming course (starts May 7, 2024)Sponsor Spotlight: My Life in a BookSponsor Spotlight: Factor Use code ONBOYS50 for 50% off Sponsor Spotlight: ByHeart Get 10% off your first order using code ONBOYS at byheart.comSponsor Spotlight: HomeThreadsMake your home family friendly. Use this link to get 15% off.Sponsor Spotlight: ArmoireClothing rental subscription that makes getting dressed easier. Visit armoire.style/ONBOYS to get up to 50% OFF your first month.Jen’s Feb. Armoire haulAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Like it or not, fentanyl, other opioids, and marijuana are part of our boys’ world.“It is very easy to get drugs on social media,” says Michelle Leopold, a mother who’s son, Trevor, died after taking a pill he purchase online.Ignoring these uncomfortable fact isn’t helpful. We have to educate ourselves and educate our boys. Here’s why:Marijuana harms young brainsToday’s marijuana and marijuana-based products are far stronger than those of the past.“It’s so important to learn about today’s marijuana,”Michelle says. Although marijuana and THC products are now legal in many states, study after study has shown that these products are not safe for developing brains.Fentanyl killsIn 2019, Trevor, age 18, swallowed a blue pill he thought was oxycodone. It wasn’t.Despite its markings, there was no oxycodone in the pill. The pill Trevor purchased was a counterfeit pill, & it contained fentanyl, a narcotic that’s 100 times more powerful than morphine, 50 times more powerful than heroin—and lethal at just a few grains.Trevor didn’t get high; Trevor died.According to the US. Dept of Justice, over 150 people die every day from overdoses related to synthetic opioids like fentanyl. As many as 7 in 10 counterfeit pills — pills sold online & purported to be oxycodone or other “prescription” meds — may now contain a lethal dose of fentanyl.“People now need to assume that any drug they don’t get from their pharmacist has fentanyl in it,” Michelle says. “The odds are not in your favor.”“I am going to use Trevor’s story to prevent other parents from losing their children.” — Michelle LeopoldIn this episode, Jen, Janet, & Michelle discuss:How marijuana can affect teens & familiesRecognizing signs of drug useCannabinoid hyperemesis syndromeParenting a child who is using substancesJust Say KNOW vs. Just Say NoWhere teens and young adults are getting drugs & pillsGetting & using naloxone (Narcan)Recognizing & responding to an overdoseLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Marijuana to Fentanyl: My Son is More Than a Statistic — post by Michellewww.wearenotalone.community — Michelle’s blog (packed w info!)Addiction Inoculation w Jessica Lahey — ON BOYS episodeTroubled Boys (w Kenneth R Rosen) — ON BOYS episodeAnother View of Wilderness Therapy — ON BOYS episodehttp://drugfree.org/  and toll-free Helpline (1-855-DRUGFREE / 1-855-378-4373) TheNewDrugTalk.orgSAMHSA National Helpline 1-800-662-4357 (Confidential free help, from public health agencies, to find substance use treatment and information)SongForCharlie.org https://www.dea.gov/onepilldancesafe.org (Fentanyl Test Strips and Drug Checking Kits)Adding Naloxone to Your First Aid Kit — Decipher Your Health post (NOTE: Jen now has naloxone in her home)shatterproof.org — includes a Narcan training videoAl-Anon — support for family & friends of people w alcohol use disorderNar-Anon — support for family & friends of people who use narcoticsSponsor Spotlight: ArmoireClothing rental subscription that makes getting dressed easier. Visit armoire.style/ONBOYS to get up to 50% OFF your first month.Jen’s Feb. Armoire haulSponsor Spotlight: HomeThreadsMake your home family friendly. Use this link to get 15% off.Sponsor Spotlight: Factor Use code ONBOYS50 for 50% off Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

50/50 shared parenting is good for boys & good for parents. But it’s not yet the norm, despite decades of research demonstrating the value of shared parenting.“It’s one part sexism and one part misunderstanding of the latest social science around what it best for kids,” says Emma Johnson, author of The 50/50 Solution: The Surprising Simple Choice that Makes Moms, Dads, and Kids Happier & Healthier After a Divorce. “”Thankfully, we are barreling toward a better future. No one’s really been able to quantify where or how often 50/50 is happening, but it’s definitely better than when I divorced 15 years ago.”Why 50/50 parenting should be the defaultChildren (and parents) thrive when they have regular, close connection. The exact number of minutes or days children and parents spend together isn’t as important as regular, routine interaction — and that’s what 50/50 shared parenting schedules provide.“Kids then know, intellectually, emotionally, and in their hearts that my mom and dad are both in it to win it. No one’s going to check out, slip out, or move away. No one’s got the upper hand,” Emma says.Shared parenting also gives both parents time to practice parenting and time to focus on work, adult connections, and self-care. And seeing both parents actively involved in parenting and work broadens children’s ideas of work and family. As Emma writes in her book, “An equal 50/50 parenting presumption is the one policy change that could dramatically help tens of millions of children, their families, and communities, without any additional funding.”In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Emma discuss:Benefits of shared parenting for parents & childrenThe role of sexism in parenting – & parenting decisions post-divorceWhy you need to let go of the idea of being the “better” parentParental gatekeepingSharing caregiving and financial responsibilityCo-parenting when your separation or divorce was not amicableSocietal benefits of 50/50 parentingLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:The 50/50 Solution: The Surprising Simple Choice that Makes Moms, Dads, and Kids Happier & Healthier After a Divorce, by Emma JohnsonSingle Parenting w Wealthy Single Mommy Emma Johnson –– ON BOYS episodeParenting Boys Thru Divorce — ON BOYS episodeIs Shared Parenting Best for Boys After Divorce? — BuildingBoys postMoms for Shared Parenting –– an activist organization promoting equally shared parenting Sponsor Spotlight: ArmoireClothing rental subscription that makes getting dressed easier. Visit armoire.style/ONBOYS to get up to 50% OFF your first month.Jen’s Feb. Armoire haulSponsor Spotlight: WinonaMenopause care made easy!Visit bywinona.com/onboys & use code ONBOYS to get 25% your first order. Sponsor Spotlight: HomeThreadsMake your home family friendly. Use this link to get 15% off.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Building boys’ resilience can help them thrive, says Marc Hauser. Even if they’ve experienced a lot of adversity.“Adversity experienced by children is not a rare event, but a relatively common event,” says Marc, author of Vulnerable Minds: The Harms of Childhood Trauma & the Hope of Resilience. Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) may include abuse, violence, neglect, poverty, and loss of a caregiver, and these experiences can negatively affect kids’ development.But although research linking ACEs to behavioral problems and decreased academic achievement has been around for more than two decades, many adults still do not understand that adverse experiences may be at the root of children’s behavioral issues. Boys who act up (or out) at school, at home, or in the community are frequently met with punishment, not understanding.Shifting your mindset from What’s wrong with you? to What happened to you? What’s happening? can be “transformative,” Marc says.The 5 Ts (& How They Impact ACEs)All adverse experiences are not equal. There are 5 Ts that can impact a child’s adverse experiences:Type  – Poverty may impact a child differently than sexual abuse or loss of a caregiver, for instance.Tenure  – How long is the child exposed to the adverse experience? Is it relatively fleeting, or a persistent issue over many months or years?Timing – When, during the child’s development, did they experience an adverse event? Some ACEs are particularly impactful if they occur during specific phases of development.Toxicity  — This describes the severity of the event. Broadly speaking, severe physical abuse is typically more impactful than mild physical abuse.Turbulence – How unpredictable and uncontrollable is the event?In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Marc discuss:Prevalence of ACEsHow exposure to trauma affects parents & their parenting practicesACEs impact on malesThe COVID pandemic’s impact on boysStrategies boys (& others) can use to mitigate the impact of ACEsLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Vulnerable Minds: The Harms of Childhood Trauma & the Hope of Resilience, by Marc Hausermarcdhauser.com — Marc’s websiterisk-eraser.com“Whole Child, Whole Life” with Stephanie Malia Krauss — ON BOYS episodeAdverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) & Muscle Dysphoria — ON BOYS episodeSponsor Spotlight: ArmoireClothing rental subscription that makes getting dressed easier. Visit armoire.style/ONBOYS to get up to 50% OFF your first month.Jen’s Feb. Armoire haulSponsor Spotlight: Dabble & DollopNatural bath products for kids. Visit dabbleandollop.com/onboys to get 20% OFF your first order!Sponsor Spotlight: American Blossom LinensGrown, spun, & woven in the USA. Use code ONBOYS to save 20%.Sponsor Spotlight: WinonaMenopause care made easy!Visit bywinona.com/onboys & use code ONBOYS to get 25% your first order. Sponsor Spotlight: HomeThreadsMake your home family friendly. Use this link to get 15% off.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Yes, it’s possible to raise a healthy gamer. Even in a world saturated with video games.Fighting about video games, however, isn’t helpful, says Alok Kanojia (aka Dr. K), author of How to Raise a Healthy Gamer: End Power Struggles, Break Bad Screen Habits, and Transform Your Relationship with Your Kids.“Right now, there is an antagonistic relationship between most parents & their kids around video gaming,” Dr. K says. “You think they need to cut back; they don’t think they have a problem. Then, as parents start to institute limits, children will try to undermine them. Even if you ‘win’ in this scenario, you lose.”It’s more helpful, he says, to establish a collaborative relationship. Ask your child what he enjoys about gaming. Listen carefully to his answers, with an ear to understanding. Really work to understand what he gets from gaming, and ask questions to help him reflect on the role of video games in his life.This takes time — and it’s time well invested.“The time scale that a lot of parents operate on around video games is too small,” Dr. K says. Slow down, & don’t impose solutions. Instead, work on shared problem-solving. “This shifts the dynamic from ‘us vs them’ to ‘we’re on the same team.’ And the moment we make that shift, we see some beautiful changes.” In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Dr. K discuss:Why video games are so problematic for many boys & their familiesThe role of gaming in boys’ livesVideo game addictionHandling boys’ resistanceWhy you should never make & enforce a boundary at the same timeWhy you shouldn’t use gaming as a disciplinary tool (or reward)Responding to kids who won’t put down their phoneLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:How to Raise a Healthy Gamer: End Power Struggles, Break Bad Screen Habits, and Transform Your Relationship with Your Kids, by Alok Kanojia (aka Dr. K)www.healthygamer.gg — Dr. K’s websiteWhy are Video Games So Important to Boys? — ON BOYS episodeThe Evolution of Esports — ON BOYS episodeThe Link Between Freedom & Video Games — BuildingBoys blog postWhy Boys Play Video Games – BuildingBoys blog postSponsor Spotlight: ArmoireClothing rental subscription that makes getting dressed easier. Visit armoire.style/ONBOYS to get up to 50% OFF your first month.Jen’s Feb. Armoire haulSponsor Spotlight: HomeThreadsMake your home family friendly. Use this link to get 15% off.Sponsor Spotlight: American Blossom LinensGrown, spun, & woven in the USA. Use code ONBOYS to save 20%.Sponsor Spotlight: Dabble & DollopNatural bath products for kids. Visit dabbleandollop.com/onboys to get 20% OFF your first order!Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How, exactly, does one “get curious” about their son without badgering him?That’s a big, important question, and that’s exactly what Jennifer wants to know:Lately, as he is resisting my normal questioning…I feel like I am now pushing him to evaluate his feelings, talk to me, or just engage…I have seen this cute, fun challenge of showing a person two pieces of paper. Each one has something different written in it. The recipient who is choosing the paper has no idea what is on the other side. At one time, this fun way to choose an adventure with me would have been exciting. Today was the exact opposite. He whined, then slithered down in his seat. Covered his face. I was taken aback. So I “got curious”. I asked him what was he feeling. “I don’t know”. I asked him if he thought I would put something un-fun on them. “I don’t know.” Why. Are you feeling like a lack of control? “I don’t know”. I probed a bit more, but you get the idea…Well-meaning mom + fun idea + teen boy = Disappointment & discomfortTiming may have been part of the problem. When talking to teenage boys, it’s best to avoid after-school surprises. It’s better to give them a heads-up; let them know, in advance, that you want to talk with (or do something) with them – and then, together, figure out good time.And as for getting curious, Jen reminds listeners that “getting curious” can be internal. Instead of interrogating your son, get quiet. Think about what might be going on under the surface. Read, listen, and learn about what may be going on with your son.Other questions we address include:My son had undiagnosed learning differences for many years. We have changed schools a few times, but his motivation is at an all-time low…I read in a lot of literature that kids often lack motivation because of their relationship with their parents. We generally have a good relationship, but we worry that he still feels we failed him all those years ago…and I get calls from the school that my boys misbehave…They usually get a consequence at school. How harsh should I follow up at home, do they need a second punishment?andIf my junior has a winter dance coming up, and I think he should go, can I make him go or bribe him, or is this me living vicariously through him?and also:I’d like to hear something about the “other” teens. The ones who hide their insecurities behind perfection…So growing up they miss out on opportunities, camps, jobs… How do I help them become more confident? How do I help them see their value, take initiative and try new stuff?andI’m reluctant to let my kid go to summer camp… nervous… and how do I actually GET him to go?Note Jen’s sweater – it’s a rental from Armoire, one of our sponsors!In this episode, Jen & Janet discuss:Why teenage boys don’t embrace (& often reject) our ideasThe importance of real self-careManaging fear & guiltBoys’ motivationResponding to misbehavior & phone calls from schoolPerfectionismSummer camp & separation anxietyLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Boost Boys’ Motivation –– our online courseListener Q & A: Punishment, Teenage Boys, & Letting Go — Q & A from late 2023Needed: Boy-Friendly Schools — ON BOYS episodeDebt Free Mom Discusses Family Finances –– ON BOYS episodeEmails & Phone Calls from Teachers — ON BOYS episodeSleepovers, Camp, & Separation Anxiety — ON BOYS episodeBuilding Boys Bulletin — Jen’s Substack newsletterSponsor Spotlight: ArmoireClothing rental subscription that makes getting dressed easier. Visit armoire.style/ONBOYS to get up to 50% OFF your first month. Sponsor Spotlight: Dabble & DollopNatural bath products for kids. Visit dabbleandollop.com/onboys to get 20% OFF your first order! Sponsor Spotlight: HomeThreadsMake your home family friendly. Use this link to get 15% off.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

“Debt Free Mom” (aka Carly Hill) knows that family finances can be a fraught topic.Yet family finances affect every aspect of family life: A family’s stress level, as well as housing, education, and recreational choices. Family finances play into decisions such as rec sports or travel team? Private school or public school? And, of course, our attitude and money habits affects our children as well. Our boys learn a lot about money management — both good and bad! – from us.On Budgeting & Money Management“A budget is simply a tool, a way to arrive at an outcome that’s not going to happen by accident,” Carly says.Step one in budgeting (or creating a money plan) is to understand the gap — either positive or negative — between your income & expenses. “Any financial goal that we have is all going to be driven by the gap between our income and our expenses.”You may not have a financial cushion; your expenses may regularly exceed your income. That’s stressful. And stress and overwhelm can cause us to freak out and/or ignore our financial situation. Instead, Carly recommends radical acceptance.“We have to radically accept what’s already happened,” she says. You can’t go back and un-borrow your student loans or choose a different job. Take some deep breaths and look at your real numbers — how much money you owe and how much you have. (Often, Carly says, things aren’t as dire as people think.)Once you know your numbers, do NOT jump to creating a budget. Instead, think about what you’re trying to achieve. What goal would you like to work towards? A good first goal is to consistently spend less than you make. Don’t worry about saving or paying down debt yet.Next, focus on your financial circle of influence. You can’t control grocery prices; you can control how quickly you press “buy” online.If you’re struggling to see a path forward — if you’ve already cut expenses and don’t see a way to increase your income — it may be wise to get outside advice. “We’re often too close to our own situation to see an alternate path,” Carly says. An outside advisor (who may be a friend or financial professional) isn’t emotionally involved and may be able to see alternatives that you can’t.In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Carly discuss:Budgeting, saving, spendingWhy your parents’ money advice may not work for youHow having a money plan can ease stressUnderstanding your financial circle of influenceEstablishing clear goals & clear incentivesNegotiating conflicting financial prioritiesResisting pressure to buyLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:debtfreemom.co — Carly’s websiteThe Debt Free Mom podcastTeach Boys Money Management — ON BOYS episodeSponsor Spotlight: ArmoireClothing rental subscription that makes getting dressed easier. Visit armoire.style/ONBOYS to get up to 50% OFF your first month.Jen’s Feb. Armoire haulSponsor Spotlight: Dabble & DollopNatural bath products for kids. Visit dabbleandollop.com/onboys to get 20% OFF your first order!Sponsor Spotlight: WinonaMenopause care made easy!Visit bywinona.com/onboys & use code ONBOYS to get 25% your first order.Sponsor Spotlight: HomeThreadsMake your home family friendly. Use this link to get 15% off. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Many Dads want to “step up with their hearts” and “actively parent,” says Maggie Dent, Australian parenting author and host of The Good Enough Dad and Parental As Anything podcasts. “They want to know how to do it well,” she says, noting that most dads have little experience caring for (or interacting with!) children prior to becoming a parent. Moms, though, often unconsciously interfere with dads’ parenting efforts by criticizing fathers or insisting that dads follow their parenting directives.“If you keep telling a boy or a man they’re ‘doing it wrong,’ they’ll just stop,” Maggie says. “Moms have to let go a bit. You’ve got to step back.”Dads need time to figure out parenting too. They need space to make mistakes (& discoveries!) And they need to know that we value their contributions.Boys (and girls and nonbinary children) do best when dads are involved. Building up dads benefits boys!In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Maggie discuss:Changing expectations for dadsMaternal gatekeepingCreating “team parent”How dads support one anotherUsing “dad dates” to connect with your kidsSupporting dadsLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:MaggieDent.com — Maggie’s website (LOTS of good stuff here, including a link to her podcast, Parental as Anything, and links to her courses & books)The Good Enough Dad — podcast hosted by MaggieDads Matter (w Marion Hill) — ON BOYS episodeDads, Boys, & Masculinity — ON BOYS episodeMaggie Dent on How to Motivate Boys — 2022 ON BOYS episodeMaggie Dent: What Teenage Boys Really Need — 2020 ON BOYS episodeMaggie Dent on Mothering Boys (Part 1) — ON BOYS episodeMaggie Dent on Mothering Boys (Part 2) — ON BOYS episodeSponsor Spotlight: HomeThreadsMake your home family friendly. Use this link to get 15% off. Sponsor Spotlight: American Blossom LinensGrown, spun, & woven in the USA. Use code ONBOYS to save 20%.Sponsor Spotlight: WinonaMenopause care made easy!Visit bywinona.com/onboys & use code ONBOYS to get 25% your first order.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Jaclyn Greenberg often feels like she’s living a divided life.When her daughter was born, there was music and laughter in the birthing room. When her disabled son was born, there was no music. No laughter. In fact, everyone swept out of the room soon after the baby’s birth, taking him with them. Jacyln hadn’t even had a chance to say hello.Raising a disabled son alongside two typically-developing children (her daughter and youngest son) presents unique challenges and opportunities.“I’ve learned, from my son, how to advocate for and speak up for my son, and it’s taught me how to do that for myself and other people in my family,” says Jaclyn, a writer who’s working on a memoir that’s tentatively titled Keeping Us Together. “There’s something about having children that makes you brave in a way you haven’t been before.”Advocating for inclusionHenry, Jacyln’s disabled son, will likely never walk or talk. The world at large isn’t very accessible to those who don’t walk and talk (or see, hear, speak, sense, and act like most others), so it’s difficult for Jacklyn’s family to do things together.“I don’t want my husband to take my son and I take the other two. I don’t want us to have to divide and conquer,” she says. “I want us to experience life together.”Henry’s siblings have long found ways to include him. “They will go to people’s houses on Halloween and say, ‘My brother can’t come up here because you have stairs. Could you please come downstairs?'” Jacyln says.Others aren’t always accommodating, and too many people don’t make an effort to include people with disabilities. Some people even instruct their young kids to “look away” when they see a person with disabilities. These parents may believe they’re teaching their children not to stare at people who look or act differently, but it’s better, Jacyln says, to model curiosity and kindness.“To me, the worst thing someone can say is, ‘don’t stare; look away,’ because they’re teaching a child to ignore somebody who looks different rather than to learn about them and engage with them,” she says. “It’s okay to stumble. It’s okay to say the wrong thing. Ask what’s the right thing. Ask ‘how can I include you?'”In this episode, Janet & Jaclyn discuss:Parenting typically-developing & disabled childrenInclusion & accessibilityManaging mom guiltPulling together a team of specialistsAdvocating for your disabled childResources for parents of disabled boysAsking for (& receiving) helpLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:jaclyngreenbergwriter.com – Jaclyn’s websiteWhat My Children’s Relationship Taught Me About Accessibility & Inclusion — ScaryMommy article by JaclynHow an Adaptive Game Controller Helps My Family Bond – Wired article by JaclynSponsor Spotlight: Dabble & DollopNatural bath products for kids. Visit dabbleandollop.com/onboys to get 20% OFF your first order!Sponsor Spotlight: HomeThreadsMake your home family friendly. Use this link to get 15% off.     Sponsor Spotlight: American Blossom LinensGrown, spun, & woven in the USA. Use code ONBOYS to save 20%.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy