ON BOYS Podcast

Neurodiverse kids need comprehensive sex education too.“It’s a fundamental human right to have this information – & so important to their health & safety,” says Amy Lang, creator of Birds + Bees + Kids, a fantastic resource for parents, childcare providers and educators.Myths About Neurodiversity & SexualityMany people (including well-meaning parents) believe one (or more) myths about neurodiversity & sexuality, Amy says. Common myths include:Neurodiverse people are either asexual or hypersexual. So, parents and educators may gloss over (or skip) essential education. “There’s this myth that neurodiverse kids don’t need this information, that it’s not going to be relevant to them,” Amy says. But that’s not at all true. All humans have a relationship with sexuality. All humans need to know how bodies work. And all humans need to know how to be in healthy, loving relationships.Neurodiverse people are “innocent” – & so won’t get in any “trouble.” The truth is that neurodiverse people are at high risk of sexual abuse. They may also unintentionally sexually offend or abuse others if they are not properly educated.“Sexuality is a huge part of life,” Amy says. Ignoring this aspect of life increases the likelihood for harm — and decrease the chances of your child experiencing safe, fulfilling relationships. Knowledge empowers kids so they can live full lives.Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:The Porn Talk Dynamic Duo! A live talk with tons of Q&A! The Porn Talk Info Kit (which has everything you need to talk with your boy like a pro) is included. Sign up here. https://buytickets.at/amylang/1055353Sex Talks with Tweens: What to Say & How to Say It It’s all scripts so you don’t have to figure out what to say! Woot!BirdsAndBeesAndKids.com — Amy’s websiteJust Say This – Amy’s advice-column style podcastBooks for developmentally different kids are here.Talk to Boys about Sex (w Amy Lang) – ON BOYS episodeAmy Lang on How to Keep Boys Safe Online — ON BOYS episodeADHD with Ryan Wexelblatt the ADHD Dude — ON BOYS episodeDifferently Wired Boys & TiLT Parenting (w Debbie Reber) — ON BOYS episodeSponsor Spotlight: Baby QuipUse code ONBOYS for $20 off your reservation of $100 or more.Sponsor Spotlight: Better HelpTherapy to help you live a more empowered life. Go to BetterHelp.com/onboys to save 10%   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Health education varies greatly from place to place.Some boys receive great, age-appropriate, inclusive health education at school. Others do not. “It’s pretty inconsistent,” says Christopher Pepper, a health educator who currently teaches in the San Francisco Unified School District & is working on a book called TALK TO YOUR BOYS: 27 Crucial Conversations Parents Need to Have with Boys Today – and How to Start Having Them. “What’s covered is pretty different and how the subject is approached is handled very differently.”Young men’s health groups can be particularly helpful, as they give boys a chance to discuss masculinity and relationships as well as health topics. “There’s a real hunger among boys to talk about the real issues in their lives,” Christopher says. “Teenage boys are figuring out their attitudes about sexuality and gender, so having a place to talk about the celebrity that just came out as nonbinary” is helpful, he says.Adults with work with teenage boys should lead with curiosity and give boys space to express their thoughts and opinions. “Coming at someone with criticism, even if they’ve said something offensive” is not as helpful as asking questions, such as What do you mean by that? Adults who listen with genuine curiosity are better positioned to then provide additional context and feedback.Contrary to popular belief, “Boys have a lot of capacity and interest in talking about emotions and relationships,” Christopher says. “Boys are really hungry for those kinds of conversations and interested in exploring their values and ideas.” Unfortunately, many boys don’t get the opportunity to discuss those topics in a deep and rich way with their peers or caring adults. Prioritizing those conversations is one important thing adults can do to support boys’ health and development.In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Christopher discuss:The current state of health educationCreating safe spaces for boys to talk and learnModeling healthy communication skillsGetting boys to talk to youTalking to boys about racist or homophobic slursThe need for more males in education & caring careersLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Teen Health Today — Christopher’s Substack newslettermrhealthteacher.com — Christopher’s websiteTeacher Tom Talks About Boys, Emotions, & Play — ON BOYS episodecdc.gov/healthyyouth/index.htm — CDC site with links to adolescent and school health resources (including the Health Education Curriculum Analysis Tool (HECAT)amaze.org — health, relationship, and sex education material (great to share w your kids!)The New Drug Talk — website w resources to talk about fentanylSponsor Spotlight: Baby QuipUse code ONBOYS for $20 off your reservation of $100 or more.Sponsor Spotlight: Better HelpTherapy to help you live a more empowered life. Go to BetterHelp.com/onboys to save 10%Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How do you make space for a teenage boy to make his own mistakes?Photo by olia danilevich via PexelsEspecially when said teenager is frustrating, annoying, and contributing to family chaos?Sandra said:Teenager years are frustrating — wanting to tell him what do, yet I know he needs to make his own mistakes. Throw in toddler boy hitting/screaming at his brother….She is definitely not the only parent wondering how to deal with a teen boys & balance the needs of siblings! That’s we tackled her question first in this edition of ON BOYS Listener Q & A.“It can be really hard to step back and let things unfold — let your teen be the one that has to navigate,” Janet says. She recommends talking about that with your teen. Say something like, “It is really hard to watch you make mistakes. I am here for you. I trust that you can figure this out on your own. And if need help, I am here.”Other listener questions include:My sons turned 18 yesterday and are in their last year of high school! I understand the natural and necessary pulling away from parents (especially moms) and establishing themselves as men. Is it possible to release them vs. them tearing away? If so, what does that look like?andHow & what do you prioritize? I’m a single mom with 3 sons. I can’t do homework, home cooked meals, sports practice and read with them every night, so what to prioritize, who to prioritize and what to let go?andShould I punish the boys by taking away screen time if they get bad grades? Taking away screens is the only punishment that works.In this episode, Jen & Janet discuss:Parenting teen & toddler boysLaunching teenagers & young adult men“Soiling the nest”Asking for helpHow to create a dinner co-opDealing with “bad grades”Nurturing connectionLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Listener Q & A: Supporting Sibling Relationships, Finding Common Ground, & More — Jan. ’23 ON BOYS episodePuberty, Perimenopause, & Midlife Parenting — ON BOYS episodeThe Art of Roughhousing (w Dr. Lawrence Cohen) — ON BOYS episodeMore Wisdom from Teacher Tom — ON BOYS episodeHow to Build Your Village — ON BOYS episodeSponsor Spotlight: Better HelpTherapy to help you live a more empowered life. Go to BetterHelp.com/onboys to save 10% Sponsor Spotlight: Baby QuipUse code ONBOYS for $20 off your reservation of $100 or more.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Have you heard of autonomy-supportive parenting? Essentially, it’s the opposite of helicopter parenting. It’s a parenting style that allows, supports, and encourages kids to make decisions and take action. And unlike helicopter parenting, which demands near-constant parental activity, autonomy-supportive parenting also supports parental rest (and can reduce burnout).“Intensive parenting is not good for our kids. They need the freedom to explore and experiment, and this is where stepping back and sitting on the couch to read a magazine, instead of playing Legos with your child, is okay,” says says Emily Edlynn, a child psychologist & mom of three who is also the author Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children. Self-Determination Theory is the Foundation for Autonomy-Supportive ParentingAccording to self-determination theory, all humans have 3 fundamental needs:Autonomy, or the ability to make decisions for one’s selfCompetenceRelatednessWhen those needs are met, we feel good about life. And about ourselves. Autonomy-supportive parenting focuses on nurturing those 3 fundamental needs in our children, Emily says. At times, to observers, it may look like autonomy-supportive parents are ignoring their child’s needs. They’re not; they’re observing and giving their children an opportunity to test and develop their skills. To develop competence and confidence, children need room to fail, get upset, process their emotions, and try possible solutions.Autonomy-Supportive Parenting in Action.“This is a flexible framework, not a prescription,” Emily says. Parents can and should tweak their approach according to the unique needs and personality of the family and its individual members.Contrary to what some think, autonomy-supportive parenting does not require parents to tolerate disrespect or rude behavior. It’s not about allowing children full freedom to make all decisions. In fact, parents can (& should) set & enforce family guidelines based upon family values.“We love and accept our children for who they are; we do not have to accept all their behaviors,” Emily says. “it’s not useful to them.”Don’t take your child’s words or behavior personally.“Kids are going to do things we don’t like. That’s part of growing up,” Emily says.In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Emily discuss:What is autonomy-supportive parenting?The link between control, competence, & confidenceAutonomy & interdependence“Lazy parenting”An autonomy-supportive approach to screen time, gaming, & social mediaSetting boundaries for respectful communicationWhat to do when your child says “I hate you”School strugglesBelieving your son’s value beyond academicsHow cultural expectations affect parentingLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Autonomy-Supportive Parenting: Reduce Parental Burnout and Raise Competent, Confident Children, by Emily Edlynnwww.emilyedlynnphd.com — Emily’s websiteThe Art & Science of Mom — Emil’s SubstackBuilding Boys: Raising Great Guys in a World That Misunderstands Males — Jen’s bookGemma Gaudette Talks About Raising Boys — ON BOYS episodePositive Parenting Solutions with Amy McReady — ON BOYS episodeletgrow.org – organization founded by Lenore Skenazy (of Free Range Kids fame) that’s “leading the movement for child independence”Psychologists Off the Clock — Emily’s podcastSponsor Spotlight: Better HelpTherapy to help you live a more empowered life. Go to BetterHelp.com/onboys to save 10% Sponsor Spotlight: Factor Use code ONBOYS50 for 50% off Sponsor Spotlight: Baby QuipUse code ONBOYS for $20 off your reservation of $100 or more.Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If you or someone you know is having suicidal thoughts, you can call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline for help in the United States. Call 988 or 800-273-TALK (8255). The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is open 24 hours a day, every day. Services are also available en espanol.AnneMoss Rogers’ son Charles was “the life of the party.” He loved dogs, people, & games. And he died of suicide at age 20.Statistically, Charles’ story is all too common. Suicide is the second leading cause of death for 10-24 year olds, with boys and young men representing 80% of all youth suicide deaths. 22% percent of high school students reported seriously considering suicide in 2021, and 10% of youth in grades 9-12 said they’d made at least one suicide attempt. So although everything looked rosy in Charles’ life — he was one of the most popular kids in his high school, elected to Homecoming Court as a sophomore — he was struggling behind the scenes.His family knew he had a sleep disorder and his mom suspected a mental health disorder beyond anxiety, but she didn’t detect any depression — and others brushed off her concerns.Substance Use Can Mask DepressionLike many teens, Charles started using drugs & alcohol. What Anne didn’t realize at the time was that he was using substances to numb his pain and suicidal thoughts. He also participated in risk stunts.“When your child starts taking all these unnecessary, scary risks, it is a sign of depression,” AnneMoss says.Support for Parents of Struggling TeensIf you sense your child is struggling, seek support. Even if you don’t yet have a diagnosis or can’t “name” the problem. Don’t second guess yourself. “Go with your gut,” AnneMoss says. “Don’t let your brain talk you out of what you know if your gut.”She recommends the following resources:NAMI — National Alliance on Mental Illness (has support groups for parents!)Families Anonymous — 12 step support group for family & friends of individuals with drug, alcohol or related behavioral issuesSmart Recovery — includes in-person & virtual meetings for family & friends of addicted individualsCRAFT — Community Reinforcement and Family Training, which helps family members relate to individuals with addiction“These are not groups where you sit around and you hold hands and you sing Kumbaya,” AnneMoss says. They are places where parents can share their fears freely & receive essential support and advice. “When something happens, these are the people who know the best places to take your child — who is taking appointments, who the best therapists are — because they are using those resources too.”She encourages all parents, teachers, and others working with a struggling or troubled teen to “stick with the process.” Don’t give up; listen. Stay engaged. All struggling humans need and want to know that someone cares.In this episode, Janet, & Anne discuss:Warning signs of depression & suicidal ideationWhy you should trust your gutWhere to get help & supportWhy you must practice asking, “Are you thinking of suicide?”Why tough love isn’t the necessarily the right choiceGiving yourself credit as a parentMutual careLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:mentalhealthawarenesseducation.com — Anne’s website (jam-packed with resources!)Diary of a Broken Mind: A Mother’s Story, A Son’s Suicide, & the Haunting Lyrics He Left Behind, by Anne Moss Rogers & Charlie RogersEmotionally Naked: A Teacher’s Guide to Preventing Suicide & Recognizing Students at Risk, by Anne Moss Rogers & Kimberly H. McManama O’Brien Loving Someone With Suicidal Thoughts — ON BOYS episodeWhat You Need to Know About Boys & Suicide — ON BOYS episodeTroubled Boys (w Kenneth Rosen) — ON BOYS episode about wilderness therapyAnother View of Wilderness Therapy — ON BOYS episodeLisa Damour on the Emotional Lives of Teens — ON BOYS episodeSponsor Spotlight: Better HelpTherapy to help you live a more empowered life. Go to BetterHelp.com/onboys to save 10% Sponsor Spotlight: Baby QuipUse code ONBOYS for $20 off your reservation of $100 or more. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Supporting LGBTQ+ kids helps them become healthy adults.Jo Langford is a father, therapist, and author of The Pride Guide: A Guide to Social and Sexual health for LGBTQ Youth and Spare Me “The Talk!” (for both boy-identified and girl-identified youth). He helps kids and parents navigate sexuality, gender, media, and technology.Supporting LGBTQ+ KidsRule of thumb: Never out someone. The decision to disclose (or not disclose) one’s sexual orientation is an individual one. You should not out anyone without their consent, Jo says.Kids, however, may unintentionally or deliberately reveal private information about friends and acquaintances, and when that happens, the child whose privacy has been violated may feel distress. Sadly, some kids are still bullied for their sexual orientation or gender identity.One of our jobs as parents is “to protect our kids,” Jo says. Unfortunately, we can’t control the behavior of others, so “one way of doing that with a queer kid is letting them know that there are places and times that may be more dangerous to you,” he says. You may need to discuss things such as potential reactions to holding hands in public in particular cities or countries.Jo also says it’s important for parents to queer kids to become part of the queer community — to familiarize yourself with the history, culture, and traditions of the community. “Support the art and companies and jump into that with your kid,” he says.If you’re navigating evolving gender identity, give yourself grace. Even the most accepting, supportive parents, family members, and loved ones struggle with pronouns and language, especially at first. Do your best. Apologize when you get it wrong. Educate yourself. You can even say to your child, “Tell me what words to use. What do you want me to say when I talk to other people about you?”In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Jo discuss:Supporting LGBTQ+ kids who are being bulliedPersonal pronouns, trans kids, & evolving languageWhen to involve the school or other parentsTalking about marijuana, pot, cannabisWhy Gen Z is so anxious Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:behereos.net — Jo’s website, featuring his talks, speaking schedule & free downloads (including Porn: The Guide to a Healthy Grab-It Habit)Spare Me ‘The Talk!’: A Guy’s Guide to Sex, Relationship, and Growing Up, by Jo LangfordThe Pride Guide: A Guide to Sexual and Social Health for LGBTQ Youth, by Jo Langford21st Century Sex Ed w Jo Langford –– ON BOYS episodeWhich Apps are APPropriate? (w Jo Langford) — ON BOYS episode Sponsor Spotlight: Better HelpTherapy to help you live a more empowered life. Go to BetterHelp.com/onboys to save 10% Sponsor Spotlight: Baby QuipUse code ONBOYS for $20 off your reservation of $100 or more. Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Gender equity begins at home.Policies matter, of course, but not as much as parenting.Think about that for a moment. Parents need to think & talk about gender stereotypes and expectations because those stereotypes and expectations affect our parenting, says Shelly Vaziri Flais, a pediatrician, mom of four, and author of Nurturing Boys to Be Better Men: Gender Equality Starts at Home. Gender also affects our boys’ experiences in the world, so if we don’t consciously consider gender in our parenting — and strive for equity — we may end up intentionally perpetuating the same stereotypes that have historically limited women and men."It's about nurturing the child as a whole human being," Dr. Shelly says.In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Dr. Shelly discuss:Equity vs. equalityGender stereotypes & expectationsAddressing parental differences regarding gender-based expectationsHelping boys manage gender stereotypesParenting 4 kids under age 4Links we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Nurturing Boys to Be Better Men: Gender Equality Starts at Home, by Shelly Vaziri Flais, MDGender Equality, Boys, & Men — ON BOYS episodeThe Gender Equation in Schools — ON BOYS episodeGender Norms Limit Boys (& Girls) — ON BOYS episodeSponsor Spotlight: Better HelpTherapy to help you live a more empowered life. Go to BetterHelp.com/onboys to save 10% Sponsor Spotlight: Baby QuipUse code ONBOYS for $20 off your reservation of $100 or more.Sponsor Spotlight: Factor Use code ONBOYS50 for 50% off Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Boys are twice as likely as girls to be friendless in middle school. And by adulthood, 1 in 5 men say they don’t have any close friends.Friendship matters for guys too – but clearly, boys face some unique challenges. “Boys & men have special challenges because of the image of how they’re ‘supposed to be,'” says Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, a psychologist and author who may be better known as Dr. Friendtastic. Some boys, for instance, love rough & tumble play. But 40% of boys don’t like it & may struggle to connect with other boys who like to roughhouse. Additionally, adult women (including moms and teachers) often misinterpret “play fighting” as real fighting and stop it, even though the involved boys may be forging or solidifying friendships.“We have to be careful about being judgemental of boys’ play and boys’ imagination,” Eileen says.Supporting Boys’ FriendshipsOne of our fundamental jobs as parents, Eileen says, is “teaching them how to be in relationships.”Parents of young boys can help them connect with other children who have similar interests.You “have have a lot of influence on their social lives by creating opportunities,” she says. “Use your deep knowledge of your son & try to figure out what he enjoys doing that he can do with other kids.”That step is especially important if your son doesn’t naturally connect with the kids in his school or neighborhood. “I always, always, always recommend multiple groups of friends, if we can manage it,” Eileen says. “The ups & downs of friendship are inevitable, and we want them to have options.”You can also help boys understand how their actions and words contribute to conflicts, by calmly sharing your observations and asking them to share their perspective and imagine their friends’ perspective. If you son has hurt someone physically or emotionally, asking “what can you do to help him feel better?” both underscores the importance of relationship repair and helps him brainstorm ways to ease his friend’s pain.Keep in mind: Negotiation and compromise don’t become the main way kids’ resolve conflict until age 19. That doesn’t mean you can’t work on those skills before then; you should! It means that kids will continue to need our support to navigate friendship challenges for many years.Janet & her grandson w one of Eileen’s booksIn this episode, Jen, Janet, & Eileen (Dr. Friendtastic) discuss:Common friendship challenges for boysRough & tumble playHelping boys connect with friendsManaging “gun play” and “violent play”The importance of friendshipBullyingForgiveness guidelinesOnline friendshipsLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:drfriendtastic.com — includes links to the Dr. Friendtastic podcasteileenkennedymoore.com — includes free articles, videos, & links to all of Eileen’s booksThe Art of Roughhousing (w Dr. Lawrence Cohen) — ON BOYS episodeWeapons Play is Okay — Building Boys blog postCommon Sense Guidelines for “Gun Play” — Building Boys blog postTeaching Boys Social Skills — ON BOYS episodeSponsor Spotlight: Better HelpTherapy to help you live a more empowered life. Go to BetterHelp.com/onboys to save 10% Sponsor Spotlight: Essential LabsUse code ONBOYS to save 15%Sponsor Spotlight: Factor Use code ONBOYS50 for 50% off Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Jen Lumanlan, author of Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family, believes there’s a direct link between parenting and social justice.“The way that we raise our children — the daily interactions that we have with them that seem like they’re about discipline — actually support our children in learning about how power works in families and in our culture,” she says. “That shapes how they go out into the world and treat other people.If we want to move toward a vision of society in which everyone belongs, everyone feels free to be their full, true, whole self, then the work to do that begins at home, in parenting.”Easier Parenting + Powerful ChangeAll behavior is communication. Children’s “behavior that seems mysterious and overwhelming is communicating an unmet need. And when you can understand what that need is, you can support your child in meeting that need,” Jen says. Identifying and meeting your child’s needs can decrease conflict and increase family harmony.Questioning the stories you tell yourself about your child’s behavior is also helpful, as these stories may be inaccurate. It’s more helpful to get curious, as open-minded curiosity can point the way toward solutions that meet both your child’s needs and your own.“This is not just about meeting your child’s needs,” Jen says. “This is about seeing you, as the parent and caregiver, as a person that has needs. And seeing your child as a person with needs. We can hold those with equal thought, care, love, and attention.”In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Jen discuss:Parenting & social justiceThe power of accepting our children as they areIdentifying kids’ needsMeeting basic needsTrue respectHomework resistanceSetting boundariesRest & self-careLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Parenting Beyond Power: How to Use Connection & Collaboration to Transform Your Family — and the World, by Jen Lumanlanyourparentingmojo.com –– Jen’s website (includes links to her needs quiz & Your Parenting Mojo podcast as well)Parenting, Privilege, & Building A Just World — ON BOYS episodeSponsor Spotlight: Better HelpTherapy to help you live a more empowered life. Go to BetterHelp.com/onboys to save 10% Sponsor Spotlight: Essential LabsUse code ONBOYS to save 15%Sponsor Spotlight: Factor Use code ONBOYS50 for 50% off Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Our boys are growing up in public.Between social media, online monitoring, and geo-tracking, our kids’ lives are public in a way ours never were when we were young. Helping kids manage this digital landscape can be a challenge for parents and adults who often worry and frequently ignore the upsides of digital life.“24/7 access to one another is a huge source of stress.”Feeling like you have to be accessible at all times is stressful for our kids. (And us!) But kids also enjoy positive online interactions.“For most kids, there are aspects of their digital lives that are positive, aspects that may be more neutral, and maybe some situations that are causing them anxiety, stress, or sadness,” says Devorah Heitner, author of Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World and Screenwise: Helping Kids Survive (& Thrive) in Their Digital World. Our job as parents, she says, is to help kids figure out how to navigate their digital lives.It’s best to start by looking and listening. Observe your child’s internet use. Ask questions, with genuine curiosity. That’s how “we can really tune into our kids’ discernment,” Devorah says.“We really need to know what our kids think about the group text,” for instance, she says, noting that simply restricting kids’ access to a group text at the first sign of “inappropriate” language or behavior takes away kids’ opportunity to evaluate and decide which conversations are healthy and which are toxic. “It’s often better if they make their own decisions because we’re not going to be there when they get that workplace Slack that’s a little toxic. We need them to be able to make choices.”One thing we can do to support our kids is to remind them that they always have permission to leave uncomfortable interactions.Mentoring vs. monitoringConstantly monitoring our kids’ online interactions and physical whereabouts is stressful for us. You may be able to improve your mental well-being by letting go of the need to always know where your child is and what he’s doing.“Your own mental health & mental load need to take priority,” Devorah says. “It’s important not to get too involved but be there for the big picture.”It’s almost always a bad idea to digitally surveil your kids’ without their knowledge. It is much more powerful to establish boundaries and expectations together. Discuss concerns. Brainstorm ways to to satisfy your mutual concerns.Responding to mistakesKids (and adults) do dumb things online. Instead of coming down harshly, take a moment to a) remember that kids’ brains are still developing and b) consider the context. Overreacting is almost never helpful, Devorah says.“We have to remember that a lot of things, in the moment, can seem funny to the adolescent brain,” she says. Teens also tend to overestimate the rewards & under-estimate the risks of their actions. They need us to support and empathize with them.Helping our kids navigate the digital world “is not easy,” Devorah admits. It helps to remember that “you’re not alone, and you can talk to other people about it.”In this episode, Jen, Janet, & Devorah discuss:Coping with our fears of the internet & social mediaWhy eliminating your kid’s access to the social media may not be a good ideaGuiding kids through online interactionsMentoring vs. monitoringThe “Right to Be Forgotten“Kids’ “rules” for social media use & digital sharingKids’ vs. parents’ concerns about growing up in publicRespecting kids’ privacy onlineLinks we mentioned (or should have) in this episode:Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World, by Devorah Heitnerdevorahheitner.com — Devorah’s websiteThe Fight for Your Kids’ Brains Has Already Begun — NYT newsletter referenced in this conversationManaging Screen Time –– ON BOYS episodeScreenwise: Helping Kids Survive (& Thrive) in Their Digital World — Devorah’s first bookScreens & Boys — ON BOYS episodeRaising Kids to Thrive in a Connected World w Jordan Shapiro — ON BOYS episodeiGen – ON BOYS episodeSponsor Spotlight: Better HelpTherapy to help you live a more empowered life. Go to BetterHelp.com/onboys to save 10% Sponsor Spotlight: Essential LabsUse code ONBOYS to save 15%Sponsor Spotlight: Factor Use code ONBOYS50 for 50% off Sponsor Spotlight: Smart for LifeUse code ONBOYS20 for 20% off your next orderAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy