Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

I’m always getting asked by women what they can do to show interest in a man without being too obvious or seeming desperate. Today’s episode I’m talking you through THREE things the men said a woman can do to show him she’s interested in him! I interviewed and surveyed all kinds of men to get you these answers, and they’re so much more simple than you would imagine. Showing interest is something that often looks a little different too each gender, so next week- we’re covering the flip side! Click the buttons below to subscribe and check out Episode 47 of the Love + Relationships Podcast! Have a relationship question for me? Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN ON iTUNES BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO Love + Relationships Podcast Extras: For other great episodes of the Love + Relationships Podcast check out: How To Find a Good Match: Compatibility In a Relationship Healthy Dating Looks Like This: A Conversation With Ben Stuart Boundaries with the Opposite Sex: A Conversation with My Husband BOOKS BY DEBRA Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Love In Every Season: The Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me or True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life. (Debra’s New Book: Love In Every Season Coming January 2020, Pre-Order Today!) And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book a session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is it possible to fall in love with the wrong person, or is falling in love the ultimate goal?   What is that feeling that we call “falling in love” and is it possible to choose someone based on pure emotion rather than choosing someone who is a good match for our lives? And then what happens if you feel like you’ve fallen in love with the wrong person?  Falling in Love With the Wrong Person Today I’m giving you my opinion about falling in love and whether or not it’s possible to fall in love with the wrong person and how we can navigate our way around this topic of falling in love! Click the buttons below to subscribe and check out Episode 46 of the Love + Relationships Podcast! Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN ON iTUNES BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO Love + Relationships Podcast Extras: For other great episodes of the Love + Relationships Podcast check out: How To Find a Good Match: Compatibility In a Relationship Healthy Dating Looks Like This: A Conversation With Ben Stuart Boundaries with the Opposite Sex: A Conversation with My Husband BOOKS BY DEBRA Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Love In Every Season: The Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me or True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life. (Debra’s New Book: Love In Every Season Coming January 2020, Pre-Order Today!) And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book a session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we’re talking toxic relationships both in dating and in marriage. Q: When it comes to general relationships, how do you know when a relationship is worth working on, and how do you know when it’s time to walk away?  A: When it is time to walk away from an unhealthy relationship? That’s a question we’re diving in to today. Christians tend to really struggle with the idea of walking away from relationships, even when they get to a place where they’re harmful or even dangerous. I’m joined by my friend and bestselling author, Gary Thomas, to tag-team this question today because he just finished writing all about toxic relationships, and it’s a conversation we need to bring to the surface. Toxic Relationships In today’s episode we’re covering: Why is it actually biblical for us to walk away from toxic relationships? What are some key motivators to remember when it comes to making the choice to walk away from a toxic relationship? How do we recognize a relationship that’s hurting us? How to handle toxic relationships in dating as well as in marriage. And so much more! Click the buttons below to subscribe and check out Episode 45 of the Love + Relationships Podcast! Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN ON iTUNES BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO Love + Relationships Podcast Extras: For other great episodes of the Love + Relationships Podcast check out: Top 10 Relationship Killers. Small Things That Cause Big Problems.  Is There Such A Thing As “The One”? And Why My Husband And I Disagree. OTHER BOOKS BY DEBRA Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Love In Every Season: The Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me or True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life. (Debra’s New Book: Love In Every Season Coming January 2020, Pre-Order Today!) And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book a session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Compatibility is key. Just because you’re a Christian, and just because someone else is a Christian – doesn’t mean you’re going to be a good match when it comes to being in a relationship.  Compatibility is a huge piece to the puzzle of relationships, and it’s one that often get’s ignored or overshadowed in the conversation of what makes a healthy relationships.  When it comes to understanding compatibility in a relationship, there are certain things that have to “fit together” well, just like putting a puzzle together. This isn’t about finding an exact replica of yourself, it’s about finding someone who is going to be a good match for your life.  In order to find a good match, you’ve got to know your shape, and your colors.  Compatibility Looks Like… There are certain big picture topics where it’s important to make sure you have compatibility when you’re in a relationship.  Today on the podcast, we’re talking through those topics! Click the buttons below to subscribe and check out Episode 44 of the Love + Relationships Podcast! Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN ON iTUNES BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO Love + Relationships Podcast Extras: For other great episodes of the Love + Relationships Podcast check out: Healthy Dating Looks Like This: A Conversation With Ben Stuart Boundaries with the Opposite Sex: A Conversation with My Husband BOOKS BY DEBRA Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Love In Every Season: The Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me or True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life. (Debra’s New Book: Love In Every Season Coming January 2020, Pre-Order Today!) And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book a session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today’s question about obesity in dating comes from Will who asks: Q: Hi Debra. I’m feeling conflicted that a woman being overweight or obese has become a dealbreaker for a relationship. I do my best to eat well and exercise to keep a healthy weight for myself, especially since I’m at risk for Type II diabetes, and obesity is the number one risk factor. It seems that marrying someone who also has the discipline to maintain a healthy weight is the best way for us to live a long and healthy life together. But I feel guilty because I’ve been told since I was a child that “it’s what’s inside that counts”, and yet I’m disqualifying women with one look at their body shape. Is it okay that a woman being overweight or obese has become a dealbreaker for me? Or am I being too superficial? Should Obesity Be A Deal Breaker? You guys, we’re bringing it today on the podcast. I’ll be honest, my first reaction was to avoid answering this question, because it’s such a sensitive topic and one we don’t bring up often. But if Will was bold enough to ask it with such thoughtfulness and sensitivity, then I thought it was important to be bold enough to answer it.  Without further to say, let’s dive into this candid  question and discuss whether or not obesity should be a deal breaker when it comes to the things you’re looking for in a dating relationship. Click the buttons below to subscribe and check out Episode 43 of the Love + Relationships Podcast! Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN ON iTUNES BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO Love + Relationships Podcast Extras: For other great episodes of the Love + Relationships Podcast check out: Healthy Dating Looks Like This: A Conversation With Ben Stuart Biblical Dating: Camels, Arranged Marriage, and Starbucks.  10 Girls You Shouldn’t Date: How To Avoid Heartbreak 10 Guys You Shouldn’t Date: How To Avoid The Bad Boys OTHER BOOKS BY DEBRA Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Love In Every Season: The Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me or True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life. (Debra’s New Book: Love In Every Season Coming January 2020, Pre-Order Today!) And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book a session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Q: What does healthy dating look like and what are the key ingredients to a healthy dating relationship?  A: Today’s question comes from Kim in Ohio, who is wondering what healthy dating actually looks like…is it even a thing? If you know anything about me and this ministry, you know that my main message is that healthy people make healthy relationships. But how do you know that your relationship is healthy? What are some things to be on the lookout for when it comes to your interactions with the opposite sex? Healthy Dating Is A Thing On today’s episode, we’re talking through this question and the belief that healthy dating is a real thing!! It IS POSSIBLE to date in a way that leaves you with no regrets — even in today’s chaotic culture of relationships. Joining me to answer this question today, is Pastor Ben Stuart from Passion City Church in DC and formerly served as the director of BreakAway Ministries. Ben’s work with young adults and his heart for this topic made him a perfect candidate to tag-team this question with me today. In this episode, we talk through: Why is dating such a struggle for Christians? How to look at dating in a way that takes the pressure off. The THEME verse that should define the way we do dating. What are some of the key ingredients that make healthy dating a possibility. The three Cs of dating. Why mutual interest and initiation is SO important. Why charm is deceptive… And so much more!!! Don’t miss this great conversation! Click the buttons below to subscribe and check out Episode 42 of the Love + Relationships Podcast! Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN ON iTUNES BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO Love + Relationships Podcast Extras: For other great episodes of the Love + Relationships Podcast check out: Biblical Dating: Camels, Arranged Marriage, and Starbucks.  10 Girls You Shouldn’t Date: How To Avoid Heartbreak 10 Guys You Shouldn’t Date: How To Avoid The Bad Boys Connect with Ben Stuart on Instagram or check out his book: Single, Dating, Engaged, Married. For more information check out Passion City Church, DC.  Don’t Miss our LAST Online Singles Event of 2019 this FRIDAY!!! Check it out by clicking the photo below: OTHER BOOKS BY DEBRA Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Love In Every Season: The Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me or True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life. (Debra’s New Book: Love In Every Season Coming January 2020, Pre-Order Today!) And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book a session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time is everything. In fact, it’s one of the most valuable things you have to give to the people around you…because it’s the only thing you can never get back. The past two episodes, we’ve been talking about how we protect our marriage. We started with talking about our emotions in episode 39, our interactions in episode 40, and today we’re talking about our time. Time is your most valuable commodity. But with the lures of social media, iPhones in every pocket, a dozen texts and emails to answer, and a stream of Netflix at your fingertips, it’s easy for your time to get away from you. But if you’re not careful, you can find that your time is going to the inanimate – instead of the intimate. TIME MATTERS One of the survey results I write about in Choosing Marriage, has to do with the amount of married people who report spending their time on separate hobbies and interests. There’s a lot of time getting lost on things that don’t really matter, and it’s having serious impact on our marriages. In this episode, we talk through some of the things we do in our marriage and how we prioritize our time for one another, because if you’re not intentional – it just won’t happen. Tune into the last part of the Protecting Your Marriage Series of Conversations With My Husband. Click the buttons below to subscribe and check out Episode 41 of the Love + Relationships Podcast! Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN ON iTUNES BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO Love + Relationships Podcast Extras: For another great episode of the Love + Relationships Podcast check out: 5 Differences That Cause Stress in Marriage OTHER BOOKS BY DEBRA Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Love In Every Season: The Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me or True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life. (Debra’s New Book: Love In Every Season Coming January 2020, Pre-Order Today!) And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book a session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Boundaries with the opposite sex may not be something we’re comfortable talking about, but it’s a necessary conversation. It’s easy to say we should have boundaries in a marriage, but then actually talking through the specifics of what those boundaries look like is something most couples don’t actually sit down to do. A few years ago in the media, a political leader who talked about his boundaries with the opposite sex sparked a fury of heated conversations around the country. In fact, an article about this very topic on my blog sparked some additional controversy as well. It’s clear this is a topic people don’t always agree on. So what’s too much when it comes to boundaries, and what is not enough? Boundaries With the Opposite Sex What does it practically look like to protect your marriage by setting boundaries, specifically with your interactions with the opposite sex? Last week on the Love + Relationships Podcast we talked through the boundaries we set with our emotions, and today on the podcast we’re talking through the boundaries we set up with our interactions on Part 2 of this three part series with my husband. The conversation you’re about to hear is about the things WE have chosen to do for our marriage. You may agree with some of it, and you may not…but let’s start by having the conversation, and getting comfortable talking through it. Click the buttons below to subscribe and check out Episode 40 of the Love + Relationships Podcast! Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN ON iTUNES BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO Love + Relationships Podcast Extras: For another great episode of the Love + Relationships Podcast check out: 5 Differences That Cause Stress in Marriage BOOKS BY DEBRA Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Love In Every Season: The Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship, Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me or True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life.  (Debra’s New Book: Love In Every Season Coming January 2020, Pre-Order Today!) And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book a session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How do you protect your marriage? What do you and your husband do to keep your marriage strong? What’s your secret sauce to marriage? Are there things you do to keep connected in your marriage?  These are some of the questions that came in over the past few months, and I am so glad say that I can finally answer them, because Season 3 of the Love + Relationships Podcast is officially here!!!! And you guys are going to be so excited about this highly anticipated guest on the podcast… I can’t believe it’s taken until Season 3 to get him on, but life…and kids…and schedules…have gotten in the way. But he’s finally here!!! And I’m so excited to have him! Today we’re talking about a subject that’s so close to our heart: How to PROTECT your marriage. PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE Specifically, we’re talking about the three intruders that are known to get in the way of a healthy marriage. These intruders are quiet, and sly, and sneaky – but if you aren’t careful, you’ll find them starting to creep in and separate your hearts and your lives from one another. Join John and me, and get a front row look into our relationship and the things we do to be DELIBERATE and INTENTIONAL about protecting our love and drawing closer to one another. I love this episode so much, and I know you will to. Tune in to Part 1 of this 3 part series with my husband, John Fileta! Click the buttons below to subscribe and check out Episode 39 of the Love + Relationships Podcast to learn about causal dating! Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN ON iTUNES BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO Love + Relationships Podcast Extras: For another great episode of the Love + Relationships Podcast check out: 5 Differences That Cause Stress in Marriage BOOKS BY DEBRA Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me or True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life.  (Debra’s New Book: Love In Every Season Coming January 2020, Pre-Order Today!) And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book a session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There’s a lot of casual dating going on these days…and it’s starting to get confusing.  Is it okay to date casually? And if so, is there a limit to how casual you should be when interacting with the opposite sex.  Today’s question comes from a young woman who is struggling with the latest trend of casual dating where a guy can hang out with as many girls as he wants (or vice versa) in the name of “casual dating”.  Casual Dating Can’t Stay Casual The problem is that people tend to think in two extremes. Either they are way too casual and keep the relationship ambiguous and commitment free for FAR too long, or they’re on the other end of the spectrum in which they see dating as a near marriage commitment.  They’re unwilling to consider anything casual and they expect a relationship to start seriously from the get-go.  But BOTH of these mentalities can be harmful, and in this episode of the podcast we talk through the ins and outs of how to do “casual dating” in a healthy way, and the red flags you need to be aware of along the way. I’m going to bring up a few important questions you need to ask yourself if you want to know how to do causal dating well.  So click the buttons below to subscribe and check out Episode 37 of the Love + Relationships Podcast to learn about causal dating! Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. SUBSCRIBE AND LISTEN ON iTUNES BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER or SPOTIFY Love + Relationships Podcast Extras: For another great episode of the Love + Relationships Podcast check out: 5 Differences That Cause Stress in Marriage BOOKS BY DEBRA Get busy learning what you need to know about healthy singleness, dating, and marriage. Check out Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me or True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life.   DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book a session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices