Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

Quickie Sex or Not So Quickie? That’s today’s topic! Q: Sometimes I’d enjoy something spontaneous, but my wife prefers to wait until the end of the night so she can unwind. How can we honor each other’s preferences? Friends – we’re talking about sex! And the sex series continues with this important question!!! Over the course of the next few weeks, in celebration of the new book launch of Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide To Reimagining Your Love Life (It’s officially available TODAY!!!! CLICK HERE TO ORDER!!!!), we’re taking all your questions about sex! Gary Thomas, my co-author, is joining me as co-host for this Love & Relationships Podcast Series: All About SEX! Today’s question comes from a man who would like sex to be spontaneous every once in a while with quickie sex, but his wife prefers to wait until the end of the evening so she can wind down (and after the kids are in bed!) and enjoy not-so-quickie sex. So what’s the balance of meeting the different needs and preferences that come up with sex? How do you honor each other when you have different desires? Is there any way to meet in the middle?  Gary and I tag-team this question and talk about some practical ways to honor your spouse even when you have different preferences between quick and spontaneous sex, vs. scheduled or longer sexual experiences. I also include a couple practical suggestions for those in the life stage of keeping your sex life alive even when you’ve got little kids at home (…because I can speak from experience!!!) Tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: ABIDE & Everlywell FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO Are you ready to take your sex life to the next level? Order Married Sex AVAILABLE Today!!!! ATTN MARRIED COUPLES: check out the Married Sex Online Conference! 25+ seminars about sex, 12 months to stream, plus a FREE copy of our book Married Sex! Register Today!! And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK?, and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Q: Any advice to keeping sex fun when you’re trying to get pregnant? Friends – we’re talking about sex! And the sex series continues with this important question!!! Over the course of the next few weeks, leading up to the book launch of Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide To Reimagining Your Love Life (CLICK TO PRE-ORDER TODAY!!!!), we’re taking all your questions about sex! Gary Thomas, my co-author, is joining me as co-host for this Love & Relationships Podcast Series: All About SEX! Today’s question comes from a couple who is struggling with fertility issues and trying to get pregnant. Sex can often seem like more of a chore, and lose it’s fun and excitement when you’re trying desperately to get pregnant. The pressure of getting pregnant can oftentimes outweigh the joy of intimacy. So how do you strike a balance, navigate fertility issues, and keep your sex life healthy during those seasons?  Gary and I tag-team this question and talk about keeping sex fun when you’re trying to get pregnant on today’s episode of the Sex Series! So tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: Trade & ZocDoc FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO Are you ready to take your sex life to the next level! Pre-Order Married Sex Today and Get The Couple’s Guide To Talking About Sex, as well as the first few Audiobook Chapters FREE that you can start listening to, TODAY! ATTN MARRIED COUPLES: check out the upcoming Married Sex Online Conference! 25+ seminars about sex, 12 months to stream, plus a FREE copy of our book Married Sex! Register Today!! And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK?, and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Q: Is it wrong to want to try something I’ve seen in porn, even though I know that porn itself is wrong? Friends – we’re talking about sex! And the sex series continues with this courageous question!!! Over the course of the next few weeks, leading up to the book launch of Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide To Reimagining Your Love Life (CLICK TO PRE-ORDER TODAY!!!!), we’re taking all your questions about sex! Gary Thomas, my co-author, is joining me as co-host for this Love & Relationships Podcast Series: All About SEX! Today’s question comes from a man who is curious if it’s okay to try something he’s seen in porn, even though he knows porn is wrong. Something I’ve Seen in Porn? This is an important question, because pornography impacts many people and many couples. It’s a question a lot of people might be thinking, but aren’t asking. That’s why we need to talk about it!! This episode is straight-forward, honest, and probably not totally what you expect.  So tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: Girlfriend Collective & BlueLand FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO Are you ready to take your sex life to the next level! Pre-Order Married Sex Today and Get The Couple’s Guide To Talking About Sex, as well as the first few Audiobook Chapters FREE that you can start listening to, TODAY! ATTN MARRIED COUPLES: check out the upcoming Married Sex Online Conference! 25+ seminars about sex, 12 months to stream, plus a FREE copy of our book Married Sex! Register Today!! And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK?, and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today we’re talking about sex tips and tricks for Newlyweds (and not so newly weds) Q: My wife and I are newlyweds, and right now sex is a little bit of a struggle and seems forced. Any advice or suggestions? Friends – we’re talking about sex! Over the course of the next few weeks, leading up to the book launch of Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide To Reimagining Your Love Life, we’re taking all your questions about sex! Gary Thomas, my co-author, is joining me as co-host for this Love & Relationships Podcast Series: All About SEX! Today’s question comes from a newlywed couple looking for advice and sex tips to overcome some of the struggles of being a new-to-sex.  But the advice we give them today doesn’t just apply to newlywed sex! If sex has been a little bit of a struggle lately, then this episode is for you. We talk about the #1 tip to making sex better for both parties, some obstacles that come up as newlyweds and beyond, as well as some other sex tips and tricks along the way!!! Tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: Faithful Counseling! Are you ready to take your sex life to the next level! Pre-Order Married Sex Today and Get The Couple’s Guide To Talking About Sex, as well as the first few Audiobook Chapters FREE that you can start listening to, TODAY! ATTN MARRIED COUPLES: check out the upcoming Married Sex Online Conference! 25+ seminars about sex, 12 months to stream, plus a FREE copy of our book Married Sex! Register Today!! And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK?, and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re talking about sex today…but not in the way you expect. This time, we’re talking about being sex-less. What do you do when you’re single and living in a sex-filled world? How do you save sex for marriage when everything inside of you and around you is telling you otherwise? How do you honor God, and still have a healthy awareness and understanding of your sexual desires? How does the purity culture impact our beliefs about sex for both good and for bad? Today I’m talking with my single friend, Kat Harris, who has been learning about the journey for herself. We’re answering this caller question: I’m committed to saving sex for marriage. I do believe it’s God’s best for my life. But the struggle is real! What tips, advice, or suggestions do you have for me as I’m trying to remain sexless, in a sex-filled world? So, let’s talk about sex!! Tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! (And then, check out this #3 most downloaded episode about Sex Drive and the Single Life as well!) FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: Faithful Counseling! Are you ready to get healthy from the inside out? Check out my Bestselling book, Are You Really OK? And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK?, and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What’s it like to care for your mental and emotional health in the world of professional sports? In today’s podcast, I talk with NFL veteran Rashad Johnson about life in the NFL, and what it looks like to practically care for yourself when the focus tends to be on physical performance. We talk through a hard season he went through, the difficulty of transitioning out of the NFL, and ways he’s learned to take care of his mental health along the way — out of necessity. It’s a powerful conversation that will challenge you to stop and care for yourself right where you’re at. I’m also joined by co-host and fan favorite, Chad Johnson for this amazing conversation. Don’t miss it!!! Tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: BlueLand Are you ready to get healthy from the inside out? Check out my Bestselling book, Are You Really OK? And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK?, and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The topic of mental health and the Olympics really made it’s way to the surface recently, as Simone Biles took the media spotlight after she opted out of her Olympic events due to mental health reasons. The word was divided on whether or not she was a hero, and what it really means to struggle with mental health issues. I wanted to dive deeper into this topic, and I invited an incredible guy named Trenten Merrell to join me, and my friend and sports chaplain Chad Johnson, for a conversation about the true mind battle that comes with being an Olympian. Trenten is a Paralympian, who is currently in Tokyo getting ready for his big events. And he knows what it means to have to work through hard things in life and in the world of the Olympics. He took time out of his training to come talk to us, because that’s how much this conversation about Mental Health and The Olympics matters. We talked about how mental health either helps or stunts physical performance. We talked about Trenten’s experience with losing a leg, the trauma he went through, and how he was able to work through it and come out the other side even stronger. We talked about the fine-tuning that happens physically and mentally as you get ready to perform. We talked about how physical health impacts your actual mental health chemistry. We made so many parallels to the world of training physically and how it relates to training emotionally, spiritually, and mentally. We got an inside peak into what the final weeks of training look like for an Olympian. And so much more! The truths that came out of this conversation were so impactful for me in my personal life — and you’ll see what I mean as you listen. You’ll be able to apply so much of these lessons to your life whether you’re an athlete or not. It is so powerful, and so, so good.  Tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: Faithful Counseling Are you ready to get healthy from the inside out? Check out my Bestselling book, Are You Really OK? And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK?. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if I told you that your identity is one of the number one things that impacts the quality of your relationships? We’re highlighting the top 5 most downloaded podcasts of the past 12 months, and this episode came in at #1! Because what you believe about yourself determines the kind of relationship you believe you deserve. But so many things can get in the way of what we believe about ourselves. Christine Caine knows that first hand. In today’s episode, Christine and I talk about the importance of taking inventory of our identity, and what that looks like practically. Identity Matters In today’s episode we discuss: How trauma and past experiences can impact our identity. The labels we carry through life that impact our identity. Her personal story of adoption and abuse and how it impacted what she believed about herself. The psychology and theology behind identity and what shapes it. What it looks like to replace the lies about who we are with God’s truth. Understanding your identity in Christ. Verses that will shape your identity with truth (see below in the resources) And so much more!! If you’ve EVER struggled with identity issues, or maybe you’re struggling today — I can’t express to you how important this episode is. Tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: Modern Fertility Books by Debra: And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK?. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Am I too picky? Today’s caller is wondering if she’s too picky, or if she just has high standards? How can you tell the difference, especially when people are making comments that….maybe….you’re too picky. We’re highlighting the top 5 most downloaded podcasts of the past 12 months, and this question came in at #2! I invited my friend, Pastor Ben Stuart author of Single, Dating, Engaged, Married, to join me as a co-host for today’s episode as we talk through the difference between having high standards, and being too picky. Am I Too Picky? In today’s episode we cover: How do I know if I’m being too picky? What non-negotiables should I have on my list? What are the difference between needs and preferences? Majors and minors? What, if anything, does scripture tell us is criteria for a relationship? Are dating apps messing with our heads when it comes to choosing a relationship? Where does attraction fall into this? And so much more! Tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO Books by Debra: And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK?. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What does a godly man want in a woman? We’re highlighting the top 5 most downloaded podcasts of the past 12 months, and this question came in at #3! My friend Chad and I did a Q&A together, and we answer some of your questions on this episode — and one woman wants to know, what is up with the godly man saying he wants a woman of character, and then chasing after the supermodel woman?? It’s a loaded question, friends…but at the same time, it’s worth answering. You’re not going to want to miss this episode!!! It’s loaded with so much. And you don’t want to miss Chad’s male perspective on this, either. There’s a reason this one came in as #3 most downloaded, and that Chad’s episodes are 2 out of the top 5 most downloaded. They’re so good!!! (In fact, we’re bringing him back soon, so stay tuned.) Tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO Books by Debra: And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK?. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices