Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

We’re starting a four part series through the month of February called Couples Therapy! I’ve invited four courageous couples to join me on the podcast for an on-air counseling session. We’re going behind the curtain of marriage, and giving you a sneak peek of all the things married couples are actually going through behind the scenes. Because marriage takes work, and it’s important to understand that — but it’s also important to have the tools you need to do that work, and the hope you need to see that it’s always worth it in the end. Today’s couple, Justin and Tracy, have been married for 11 years and have two children. They find themselves stuck in an unhealthy pattern — she feels like he’s always pulling away, he feels like she’s always putting him down. It got so bad, at one point she was considering divorce. In this powerful conversation, we’re going to unpack the dynamic they’re struggling with in their marriage, get to the roots of why, and find solutions to help them move forward. But more than that, we’re going to help them find hope! I hope this session inspires and encourages you to do the work in your own life and relationship. Let me know!! Leave a review on your podcast app, and let us know how you’re enjoying this podcast and this series. And now, tune in this powerful episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: Zoc Doc and Abide Are you ready to get healthy from the inside out? Check out my Bestselling book, Are You Really OK? DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK? and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you physically healthy? Before you quickly answer, let me remind you that Physical health is not what you think. In my book Are You Really OK? I walk you through aspects of physical health: nutrition, diet, exercise, and how to set boundaries and avoid burnout. In today’s episode, we’re doing a deep dive into one of those areas — and I think it’s going to challenge your perspective on physical health. We’re in the middle of a four-part series where I’m asking YOU to answer the question: Are you really ok? We’re talking through emotional, mental, spiritual and physical health week by week– because there’s no better way to start the new year than by stopping to really take inventory of how you’re doing! At the end of the series, I’m hosting a ARE YOU REALLY OK? BOOK CLUB!!! It will be a two-hour zoom meeting where I’ll be taking all your questions, hearing your stories, and helping you process the things you’re learning in the book. To join the book club, all you need to do is listen to this four-part series, buy a copy of Are You Really OK? and commit to reading through it, and then sign up for our FREE BOOK CLUB January 26th!! I can’t wait to connect with you face to face and talk through all these things. But for now, tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: Athletic Greens & American Blossom Linens Are you ready to get healthy from the inside out? Check out my Bestselling book, Are You Really OK? DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK? and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Are you spiritually healthy? Before you quickly answer, let me remind you that Spiritual health is not what you think. In my book Are You Really OK? I walk you through three aspects of spiritual health: what you believe about God, what you believe about yourself, and what you can find out about your spiritual health from assessing your relationship with others. In today’s episode, we’re doing a deep dive into one of those areas — and I think it’s going to challenge your perspective on spiritual health. Because it has much less to do with what you’re doing, and so much more to do with what you believe about God. We’re in the middle of a four-part series where I’m asking YOU to answer the question: Are you really ok? We’re talking through emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical health week by week– because there’s no better way to start the new year than by stopping to really take inventory of how you’re doing! At the end of the series, I’m hosting a ARE YOU REALLY OK? BOOK CLUB!!! It will be a two-hour zoom meeting where I’ll be taking all your questions, hearing your stories, and helping you process the things you’re learning in the book. To join the book club, all you need to do is listen to this four-part series, buy a copy of Are You Really OK? and commit to reading through it, and then sign up for our FREE BOOK CLUB January 26th!! I can’t wait to connect with you face to face and talk through all these things. But for now, tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: Athletic Greens & American Blossom Linens Are you ready to get healthy from the inside out? Check out my Bestselling book, Are You Really OK? DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK? and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mental health involves three areas: Your thought life, your past experiences, your chemical makeup. In my book Are You Really OK? I discuss each of those in detail! But today we’re zooming in on your thought life, and how your thoughts impact your life. We’re in the middle of a four-part series on emotional, mental, spiritual, and physical health — because there’s no better way to start the new year than by stopping to really take inventory of how you’re doing! At the end of the series, I’m hosting a ARE YOU REALLY OK? BOOK CLUB!!! It will be a two-hour zoom meeting where I’ll be taking all your questions, hearing your stories, and helping you process the things you’re learning in the book. To join the book club, all you need to do is listen to this four-part series, buy a copy of Are You Really OK? and commit to reading through it, and then sign up for our FREE BOOK CLUB January 26th!! I can’t wait to connect with you face to face and talk through all these things. But for now, tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: American Blossom Linens & GetFaithful Counseling  Are you ready to get healthy from the inside out? Check out my Bestselling book, Are You Really OK? DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK? and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Emotional health. What is it? And how do you know if you are emotionally healthy? Before we jump into 2022….we’re going to take some time to stop and get healthy from the inside out. Today we’re starting a four part Are You Really OK? Series about getting healthy from the inside out. We’re focusing on emotional health, mental health, spiritual health, and physical health and helping you do a quick assessment of your own health and how to take next steps! Emotional Health In today’s episode we’re talking about the three parts to emotional health, and why sometimes your New Year’s Resolutions end up falling flat by the end of January. Because so much of why we do what we do stems deeper than our behaviors — and goes down to the roots of our emotional and mental health. This series is going to be so important, and we want everyone to tune in!! So at the end of this four-part series, we’re offering a FREE ARE YOU REALLY OK? BOOK CLUB!!! All you have to do to join the book club is listen to the four parts, order a copy of Are You Really OK? and commit to working through it! Then, grab a ticket to join our Book Club on January 26th where I’ll be taking your questions and hearing your personal stories and processing the book together with you! Tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: American Blossom Linens & GetFaithful Counseling  Are you ready to get healthy from the inside out? Check out my Bestselling book, Are You Really OK? DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK? and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

“You should never have to convince someone that you’re worth loving.” (Tweet it!) That’s exactly what I told the caller on today’s episode of the show.  After getting burned by a lady he’s been getting to know, he finds himself wondering how on earth is a person supposed to read the opposite sex and find out whether or not someone is interested? Are there signs to be on the lookout for? Why, yes…yes there are. 10 different signs to be exact. But here’s the key: you have to be willing to recognize them, and then accept them.  And I’m going to talk through all this and more in today’s interesting show!! If you’ve ever been in a relationship where you wondered whether or not they felt the same way about you as you felt about them (whether dating or even in marriage) — then this episode is for you. Give this short episode (25 minutes) a quick listen, and then leave your 5-star rating and review on iTunes! It helps to get the word out and challenge others to move toward God’s best for relationships…because you should never have to convince someone that you’re worth investing in (tweet it).  Tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: GetFaithful Counseling  Are you ready to get healthy from the inside out? Check out my Bestselling book, Are You Really OK? And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK? and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. Resources Mentioned: 10 Signs He/She Is Not That Into You Does He Like Me? 7 Clues He’s Interested Does She Like Me? 7 Clues She’s Interested Learn how to attract and keep a healthy dating relationships in True Love Dates: Your Indispensable Guide to Finding the Love of Your Life Find out choices you can make today, to build a better marriage for tomorrow in Choosing Marriage: Why It Has To Start With We > Me Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Good communication isn’t something you’re born with. It’s not even a gender thing. It’s something you have to learn (CLICK TO Tweet it!) I was on a talk show where I was talking about the importance of good communication in relationships. The host of the show stopped me to ask, “Debra, do you mean to tell me you expect men to be good communicators?” Why, yes. That is absolutely what I am saying. To be honest, I was really frustrated with that question. Because I rebel against the stereotype that men can’t be good communicators. I think it’s insulting, and unfair, and sets us up for less than God’s best in our relationships. We need to expect more, and teach both our sons and our daughters the importance of healthy communication… It has to be practiced. And even when you’re married and in love…you’ll still have communication issues to work through. Take me for example: a wife of 11 years, licensed counselor and relationship expert. But just recently my husband and I had one of those “communication mishaps” that we had to work through….(don’t worry, I’ll tell you aaaaaallllll about it!) because communication is something you have to practice. On this episode, I talk to a young man who is struggling to communicate well, and wants some suggestions on how to get to the next level with expressing himself, especially with his emotions. Because in order to express our feelings, we have to first acknowledge them. Good Communication Skills Are Up For Grabs In this podcast, we talk through some practical steps to good communication, and cover these important topics: Why communicating and expressing emotions isn’t a male/female thing. The four levels of communication and why they matter. How our family background and culture can influence our ability to communicate. Some suggestions in learning to acknowledge our emotions and feelings.  Why it takes practice to get to a better place with our communication. How to learn good communication even long before you’re in a romantic relationship. Learning to recognize the WALLS (barriers to good communication) that you have whether or not you realize it – because they’re keeping you from healthy communication. This concept has really changed my life and I write all about it in Choosing Marriage, but today I’m sharing it with you on the show! And of course, a few candid conversations about my relationship with John and some of our most recent communication mishaps! If you want some practical advice to mastering the art of communication, then episode is SO SO SO SO important for you to listen to! Because good communication isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you have to learn. (TWEET IT!) Single, dating, or married this show has something for you. Tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: GetFaithful Counseling  Are you ready to get healthy from the inside out? Check out my Bestselling book, Are You Really OK? And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK? and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Am I toxic? What if I’m the toxic one in the relationship? Because I think the problem is me. That was the unique question that came into the podcast hotline, and I knew I had to answer it right away. Am I toxic? That’s a question people don’t often ask. It’s not common for someone to identify themselves as the person in need of change in the relationship, and I was so grateful for this man’s insight and willingness to listen to advice and consider next steps for change. Am I toxic? As you listen to this insightful conversation, I want you to ask yourself this: Am I toxic in any way, shape, or form? Or what about this: Could you be the one in the relationship in need of change? It’s so easy to look at what others need to fix and change, without really looking inward at our own problems, past baggage, unhealthy behaviors, and bad habits.  But I want you to ask yourself: could I be the toxic one? Is there anything I need to change in my life? Tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: Imperfect Foods & GetFaithful Counseling  Are you ready to get healthy from the inside out? Check out my Bestselling book, Are You Really OK? And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK? and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Compatibility is key to a healthy relationship. Just because you’re a Christian, and just because someone else is a Christian – doesn’t mean you’re going to be a good match when it comes to being in a relationship. Compatibility is a huge piece to the puzzle of relationships, and it’s one that often get’s ignored or overshadowed in the conversation of what makes a healthy relationships. When it comes to understanding compatibility in a relationship, there are certain things that have to “fit together” well, just like putting a puzzle together. This isn’t about finding an exact replica of yourself, it’s about finding someone who is going to be a good match for your life. In order to find a good match, you’ve got to know your shape, and your colors. Compatibility Looks Like… There are certain big picture topics where it’s important to make sure you have compatibility when you’re in a relationship. Today on the podcast, we’re talking through those topics! You can also dig deeper into accountability in my book, Love In Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of Every Healthy Relationship! Tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: GetFaithful Counseling  Are you ready to get healthy from the inside out? Check out my Bestselling book, Are You Really OK? And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK? and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Want to be on the Love + Relationships Podcast?  Go to truelovedates.com/loveandrelationships/ to submit your question and learn more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Have you ever found yourself oversharing in a relationship? You know what I mean, right? I’m talking about those conversations where you find yourself saying WAY too much, WAY too soon? Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking, why on earth did I say all that?  Or maybe you know someone, someone who you’re in a relationship with, who tends to overshare. What is it about oversharing, and why do we do it? How can we draw the line between being authentic, but also not saying way more than we need to? How do we apply this to the world of dating and relationships? Oversharing in Relationships Today’s caller is a Melissa – a woman who is struggling with oversharing. She’s wondering why she overshares, and how to know when she’s shared too much. Specifically, she’s dealing with oversharing about her sexual history – finding herself always leading the way with that conversation. On today’s episode, she’s calling in today to talk through some of the issues this has brought up in her relationships. “Because your sexual history may shape you, but it doesn’t define you.” 10 Things NOT TO SHARE early on There are a few reasons why people overshare, and specifically when it comes to our past, we need to understand why we overshare, what’s important to share, and where we need to tone it down. I talk through some reasons we overshare in this episode, because just like I tell Melissa: “It’s not healthy to dive into the deep end of a relationship, before you’ve walked through the shallow end.” So after my conversation with Melissa, I’m talking you through some practicals: 10 things NOT to talk about too soon in a relationship – especially when you’re first getting to know someone in a dating relationship (or even in the early stages of a friendship). Who Should I Share With? And lastly, on this episode I’m talking through the three groups of people in your life, how to categorize them, and understand how much to share with each group. Whether you’re dating, single, or navigating friendships, tune in to Episode 016 of the Love + Relationships Podcast, to listen to this important conversation about oversharing! Episode Highlights: What does oversharing look like? Why do we overshare in relationships? What are some subjects we should stay away from? When do we share mental health issues? Sexual history? 10 things NOT to talk about early on in a relationship. How to recognize who to share with, and who not to. Tune in this episode of the Love & Relationships Podcast and follow the show by clicking on the button below! FOLLOW MY PODCAST AND LISTEN ON Apple PODCASTS BY CLICKING HERE Additional Ways To Listen: STITCHER – SPOTIFY – GOOGLE PLAY –  iHEART RADIO THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: Everlywell and GetFaithful Counseling  Are you ready to get healthy from the inside out? Check out my Bestselling book, Are You Really OK? And Check out Debra’s Love + Relationships Podcast on iTunes or wherever you get your podcasts! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, relationship expert, and author of Choosing Marriage and True Love Dates, and Love In Every Season, and Are You Really OK? and Married Sex. She’s also the host of the hotline style Love + Relationships Podcast. Her popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, reaches millions of people with the message of healthy relationships. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter or book an online session with her today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices