Honeydew Me

If you’ve ever had sex you didn’t really want to have— to avoid awkwardness, not hurt your partner's feelings or just get it over with—this episode is for you. We’re joined by Claire Perelman, a Queer, Jewish, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist based in the Bay Area who specializes in working with queer, poly, and kink communities. Claire breaks down what it really means to “push through” during sex, why so many of us do it (even when we know we don’t want to), and how to start honoring your boundaries without guilt, shutdown, or shame. We cover: What “pushing through” actually means and why it’s so common. We define what it looks like to override your body’s signals during sex and why so many women and femmes have been conditioned to tolerate discomfort in the name of connection. How to stop saying yes when your body is screaming no. Claire offers practical tools for tuning into your physical cues, catching freeze responses, and recognizing when you’re dissociating mid-sex. Why “not wanting sex” isn’t a problem to fix. Spoiler: Your desire isn’t broken. We explore how shame, performance pressure, and people-pleasing distort our understanding of healthy sexual agency. How to say no without apologizing or over-explaining. From scripts to mindset shifts, Claire gives you real-life ways to assert your boundaries without guilt. The nervous system’s role in sexual shutdown. We talk about what happens biologically when you freeze or dissociate and how to gently regulate your nervous system so you can feel safe again. When sex feels painful or uncomfortable (and you just go with it anyway). Claire gets real about the internalized messages that normalize discomfort and how to unlearn them especially if you’ve ever endured pain just to avoid awkwardness. How to rebuild intimacy after breaking your own boundaries. If you’ve pushed through in the past, you’re not alone. Claire walks us through how to reconnect with yourself and rebuild trust in your own “no.” Why pleasure requires choice—not obligation. True intimacy comes from wanting to be there. We unpack how to create space for real, enthusiastic consent in your sex life. Connect with Claire: On her website⁠ ⁠On Instagram⁠ ⁠Subscribe to our Patreon HERE to watch this episode and access exclusive content! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience.  The Question: "I’m in my mid-20s now, but I still feel like my breakup from high school is affecting the way I show up in relationships. Like… my attachment style, my trust issues, the way I react when someone pulls away. It all kind of traces back to that first heartbreak. Shouldn’t I be over it by now? It feels silly sometimes, but it also feels so real. Am I broken or is this just… a thing?" What We Cover in This Episode: The breakup that still haunts you (yes, that one). We revisit the heartbreaks that shaped us and why your pain from that relationship is still valid. Why your younger self didn’t need to “know better." A compassionate reframe for those moments when you look back and think, “Why didn’t I know better?” (Spoiler: it wasn’t your job to know. It was your job to do the best you could with what you had.) Validation is not weakness—it’s healing. We talk about why needing to feel seen in your pain isn’t dramatic, it’s human. Unpacking what breakups really bring up (hint: it’s not just about your ex). From attachment wounds to trust issues, we explore how heartbreak echoes in other areas of life. How to offer yourself the compassion you never got. Step-by-step reflections on how to talk to yourself like someone you deeply care about. Letting go with grace and a little bit of rage. We normalize the complexity of closure and what it actually takes to move forward. Creating rituals that honor your healing. Whether it’s a playlist, a letter, or a literal ceremony, we explore ways to mark the end of a chapter. Why your sadness makes sense. A gentle reminder that you don’t have to defend or downplay your grief—especially when no one else understood it at the time. Resources: ⁠⁠Get The Hot Girl Closure Ceremony Downloadable HERE!⁠ ⁠Subscribe to our Patreon for downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Self-trust isn’t just a cute idea, it’s the foundation for literally everything. This week we’re joined by Emily Romero, trauma therapist turned author and creator of The Self-Trust Model™, to talk about how to stop overthinking, start trusting your gut, and finally feel like you’ve got you. If people-pleasing, insecurity, or indecision have been running the show... this one’s for you. We cover: Why people-pleasing, overthinking, and low self-worth all come back to self-trust. If you’re stuck in “I don’t know what I want” mode, Emily breaks down how that’s not a personality flaw, it’s a self-trust issue. What to do when you feel totally disconnected from yourself. Tired of second-guessing every decision? Here’s how to reconnect with your inner voice (even if it feels really quiet right now). How to build self-trust without needing to be perfect. Trusting yourself doesn’t mean you always get it “right," it means knowing you’ll have your own back either way. The sneaky ways we self-abandon in everyday life. From ignoring your gut to staying in the wrong relationship, Emily shares how to spot the tiny ways you break trust with yourself. Why trying to be the “good girl” keeps you stuck. We unpack how internalized shame, pressure to perform, and perfectionism block you from feeling safe in your own body. What sexual empowerment has to do with self-trust. Feeling confident in bed starts way before the bedroom. Emily explains how self-trust shapes desire, boundaries, and pleasure. How to trust yourself during a big life shift (like a breakup or job loss). When everything’s changing, it’s easy to spiral. Here’s how to stay grounded and move forward with clarity. The difference between fear and intuition (and how to tell them apart). Is it a red flag or just anxiety? Emily breaks down how to read your body’s signals and know what’s actually right for you. BUY EMILY'S BOOK HERE! Connect with Emily: Listen to her podcast Visit her website Subscribe to our Patreon for downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience.  The Question: I’ve been with my partner for almost three years and I love everything about our relationship… except for the fact that he never compliments me. In the years we have dated he has never once told me I look pretty, hot, beautiful, nothing. I tell him often that I like his outfit, hair, shoes, that he looks hot, etc. but he never reciprocates. He makes me feel very loved in other ways, but this in particular is slowly making me very insecure about myself. How do I balance my own self-esteem with wanting to feel approval and desire from my partner? What We Cover: Your needs are important and valid. We unpack why your emotional and physical needs in a relationship matter just as much as your partner’s (and how to stop minimizing them). Real talk on having a brutally honest conversation with your partner. What it looks like to drop the “cool girl” act and actually say the hard things you’ve been holding in. How to advocate for your needs in and out of the bedroom. Practical scripts and strategies to help you speak up, without feeling like you're asking for "too much". Communication strategies that actually work. We break down simple, clear ways to communicate your needs without spiraling into conflict or shutdown. How to build up your self-esteem and sexual confidence. From the stories you tell yourself to the way you show up in your body, we walk through the internal shifts that make a real difference. Balancing self-worth with partner validation. We explore how to recognize when you're outsourcing your self-worth to your relationship and how to  Resources: ⁠Get The Perfect Solo Date Downloadable HERE! Subscribe to our Patreon for downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Ever get hit with a wave of anxiety, sadness, or anger and think, “Cool, but what do I do with this?” This episode is your answer. We’re joined by somatic coach and nervous system expert Béa Victoria Albina, NP, MPH to talk about exactly what to do when big feelings show up (without spiraling, shutting down, or pretending you're fine). We’re talking mini, step-by-step action plans for managing anger, sadness, and anxiety in the moment and how to stay fully present when you’re actually feeling good (because joy can feel scary too). You’ll walk away with grounded, science-backed tools to help you regulate your nervous system and feel fully capable of feeling your damn feels. What to do in the moment when you feel anxious, sad, or angry. Instead of spiraling or shutting down, try these quick, specific tools Béa shares to move through emotions with intention and grace. How to regulate your nervous system when you're overwhelmed. Learn small, science-backed shifts to lean in and ground yourself when emotions hit hard. The connection between the nervous system and your emotions. Béa explains why your body reacts the way it does and how understanding your nervous system can change your relationship with feelings. Why big joy can feel just as overwhelming as big sadness. And what to do so you don’t shut down when things are actually good. How to stop gaslighting yourself when you're having a hard day. We unpack the internalized beliefs that tell us to “suck it up” and offer alternatives that actually support healing. The surprisingly powerful tool of naming what you feel. (Yes, it actually works and here’s how to do it.) How to stop managing emotions with productivity. We explore why many of us cope by “doing more” and how to shift into actually feeling more without falling apart. Scripts for saying what you need without the guilt. Whether you’re with a partner, a therapist, or just trying to validate yourself, here’s how to express what you need clearly and compassionately. PREORDER BÉA'S BOOK HERE! Visit her website HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Being single should be celebrated, not merely tolerated! The discussion reframes singlehood as a vibrant chapter filled with growth and self-discovery. Solo date nights are highlighted as a powerful way to cultivate pleasure and joy. Listeners learn to prioritize their own needs with the same energy they’d give a partner. Plus, breaking free from societal timelines becomes essential for personal empowerment. Redefining intimacy through self-connection and friendships is key to thriving solo.

Nicole Thompson, a sex and relationship psychotherapist and host of the Modern Anarchy Podcast, shares her insights on navigating sexual conversations with ease. She emphasizes the importance of community in fostering sexual confidence and unlearning the shame rooted in purity culture. Nicole highlights the value of self-pleasure as a stepping stone to open communication about desires. With a focus on empowering language, she discusses how connecting feelings to pleasure can lead to deeper intimacy and self-discovery.

This conversation dives into the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire, shedding light on how emotional connection impacts arousal. The hosts offer practical strategies for when things don't click right away. They also highlight the importance of open communication with partners about sexual needs, making intimacy less awkward. Listeners learn about the role of foreplay, the significance of lubrication, and even get a taste of audio erotica for spicing things up. It's a candid blend of expert advice and relatable anecdotes.

We sat down with Susanna Brisk, Sexual Intuitive®️ and certified sex educator who's been helping individuals and couples for nearly a decade reignite their sexual spark. We're diving deep into what really happens to sex and intimacy after having kids, exploring how parenthood can reshape desire and sharing practical tools to reclaim your slutty self. We cover: How to reignite sexual connection after having kids – tips for rebuilding desire and intimacy at any stage of parenting Common myths about sex after kids – and why losing your libido doesn’t mean your sex life is over Practical ways to communicate about sex with your partner post-baby – even when you're tired or touched out Understanding mismatched sex drives in long-term relationships – and how to meet in the middle Creating emotional and physical space for intimacy with kids at home – yes, it’s possible (and v necessary) How to explore your erotic blueprint as a parent – and why rediscovering pleasure can be empowering Real strategies for prioritizing intimacy without guilt – even with a toddler banging on the door Why sexual identity shifts after parenthood—and how to embrace that change Tools for reconnecting with your body and desire – especially after childbirth or parenting burnout  Why talking about sex openly can strengthen your relationship post-kids Connect with Susanna: Susanna's Website Susanna's Instagram ✨ FREE DOWNLOADABLE HERE ✨ JOIN OUR PATREON HERE⁠ to access the extended interview and exclusive content. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This discussion dives into the often-taboo topics of intimacy during and after pregnancy. Listeners learn about the mysterious mucus plug and the realities of postpartum body changes, including stretch marks. The conversation normalizes postpartum vaginas and acknowledges the challenges of maintaining intimacy. There's also a valuable pep talk for those facing postpartum struggles, along with advice for partners supporting new parents. Finally, the hosts tackle the societal pressures around motherhood and body image, fostering a healthy dialogue.