Honeydew Me

Dirty talk can feel intimidating, but it doesn’t have to. This episode gives you a step-by-step guide to finding your voice, building confidence, and learning exactly what to say. Whether you want to explore a dominant, bratty, or praise-filled style, you’ll leave with practical tools, scripts, and a game plan to make dirty talk feel fun, natural, and hot. We cover: Why dirty talk feels hard at first. Understand the mental blocks that arise, from not knowing what to say to worrying about your partner’s reaction. How to figure out what turns you on. Use self-exploration, journaling prompts, and your masturbation practice to get clear on your turn-ons and desires.How to practice without pressure Practicing outside the bedroom. Start outside the bedroom with sexting or casual conversations so dirty talk feels easier when things heat up. Finding your dirty talk persona. Learn how to embody confidence and play with different tones like dominant, bratty, simpy, or simply yourself. Dirty talk examples you can steal. Get real phrases and scripts you can try right away, no overthinking required. What to say when your mind goes blank. Discover how to keep things flowing by describing the moment, giving direction, or using playful vocab. Dirty Mad Libs for beginners. Fill-in-the-blank prompts that make practicing fun and help you find your voice. How to handle when you say something weird. Why awkward moments are normal and how laughing it off can make intimacy even hotter. Your foolproof dirty talk game plan. Step into the bedroom with a simple path to more confidence, better communication, and hotter sex. ⁠Join our Patreon and access the "Dirty Talk 101" downloadable HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If your self-worth depends on being liked, playing the “good girl,” or keeping everyone else happy, you’re stuck in Emotional Outsourcing™. In this episode, our bestie Bea Albina, a UCSF-trained Family Nurse Practitioner, Master Certified Life Coach, and author of End Emotional Outsourcing™, is back and teaching us how to quit people-pleasing, perfectionism, and codependent habits FOR GOOD. We cover: Why we emotionally outsource in the first place. Bea explains how codependency, people-pleasing, and perfectionism are survival strategies we learned early on, NOT character flaws. How Emotional Outsourcing™ keeps you stuck and miserable. We unpack the hidden ways outsourcing your worth drains your energy and relationships. The nervous system’s role in healing. Bea shares SIMPLE somatic and polyvagal tools to help you actually regulate and build resilience. Why people-pleasing sometimes feels safer than saying no. Learn how your brain and body keep you locked in old patterns and how to break free. Practical ways to set boundaries without guilt. Simple scripts and reframes for protecting your energy without shame. How to move from perfectionism to self-trust. Shift from performing for approval to living as your authentic self. Daily practices to reconnect with your worth. Because you are SO worthy. Bea teaches us grounding tools to build confidence, self-compassion, and inner safety. PREORDER BEA'S BOOK HERE! (and then go to her website HERE to get all the special preorder goodies!) ⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience.  The Question: "Okay, so I’m really trying to work on my sex shame, and one thing I cannot get past is fantasizing. Like… every time I start, my brain is either like ‘this is unrealistic,’ ‘you should be embarrassed,’ or ‘lol you don’t even have a partner.’ How do I shut all that down so I can actually enjoy it and then, once I do have a fantasy, how do I make it real?" What We Cover in This Episode: Why shame gets in the way of sexual fantasies. We unpack why your brain tells you your desires are “weird” or “wrong” and how to push past that shame. How to reframe “unrealistic” fantasies. Your imagination has no rules. We talk about ways to enjoy sexual fantasies in your head, share them out loud, or scale them for real life. Exploring fantasies without a partner. Solo play is the perfect place to experiment. From touch to toys to creativity, we show you how to make it hot on your own. Why fantasizing isn’t cheating when you're in a relationship. We break down why it’s totally normal (and even healthy for intimacy) to think about scenarios that don’t always include your partner. How to talk to your partner about fantasy. Scripts, conversation starters, and real-world examples for bringing your fantasies into the bedroom. The “reality scale” for fantasies. A framework to help you decide if a fantasy should stay in your head, be shared in conversation, or acted out in bed. Ways to bring fantasies to life solo or partnered. From porn to role play, we share creative ways to turn your ideas into real experiences. ⁠Join our Patreon and access the "Hot Girl Fantasy Guide" (+ so much more bonus content) HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Being single isn’t a waiting room and it’s definitely not a personal failure. This week, we’re diving into the archive and revisiting our episode with Shani Silver, writer, content creator, and author of A Single Revolution, to unpack the harmful narratives that keep single women stuck in shame, comparison, and “search mode.” Shani’s work challenges the idea that romantic partnership is the ultimate goal and offers a powerful reframe: your life is already worth celebrating right now. We talk about how to stop centering dating apps, how to reclaim your time and joy, and why being single is not the problem... shame is. We cover: Why singlehood isn’t a problem to be fixed. Shani unpacks how society pathologizes being single and why that’s BS. How to live a full, exciting life without a relationship. From travel to career to pleasure, we explore what it means to prioritize yourself. Why dating content fails single people. We talk about the toxic dating culture that keeps people chasing “the one” instead of feeling whole on their own. What it means to want partnership, but not suffer without it. Shani offers real talk on being open to love without letting it define your worth. How to stop treating singlehood like a temporary phase. Your life isn’t on pause. We explore how to fully engage with your present, not just your potential future. The emotional toll of romanticizing relationships. From internalized shame to feeling “behind,” we look at the stories that are hurting us and how to rewrite the shit out of them. Why single people deserve better content. You’re not unfinished. Shani calls out the lack of empowering, non-dating-focused media for single people and shares what she’s doing about it. Tangible mindset shifts to start enjoying your life now. Shani shares her go-to tools for reframing singlehood and finding joy without needing a plus-one. Connect with Shani: On her website Get her book "A Single Revolution" On Instagram ⁠Join our Patreon and access exclusive content, downloadables, extended episodes and more HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Luna Matatas, a seasoned Sex and Pleasure Educator, dives into the tantalizing world of rough sex and impact play. She shares how to explore sensations like spanking and hair pulling while emphasizing the power of communication. Luna discusses the difference between pain and pleasurable pain, ensuring safety and trust. She provides practical tips for introducing kink into relationships, proving you don’t need to be ‘kinky’ to embrace roughness. It’s a fun and insightful conversation that makes exploring desires feel accessible and empowering!

Your imagination might be the most powerful tool in your sex life and this episode will show you EXACTLY how to use it. We’re talking all things sexual fantasies—what they are, how to discover your desires, and creative ways to bring them to life. Whether you’re looking for fantasy roleplay ideas, inspiration for solo play, or ways to spice things up with a partner, this episode gives you the tools to confidently explore your turn-ons without shame. We cover: What a sexual fantasy really is (and why it doesn’t need to be a full-blown movie plot to be hot) Emma’s and Cass’s personal experiences with fantasy—lifelong imagination vs. learning how to start How to find your sexual fantasies: journaling prompts, reflection questions, and mindset shifts to help you explore your desires Sources of inspiration: audio erotica, porn, roleplay scenarios, movies, books, and revisiting your earliest turn-on moments Fun discovery tools for the bedroom: “Would You Rather,” Fantasy Mad Libs, and a fantasy-only Want/Will/Won’t list Fantasy mood boards: how to create visual inspiration to spark new ideas and spot your desire themes Most popular fantasies—from threesomes to public play—and why almost anything you can dream up already exists Fantasy roleplay ideas with and without power dynamics to help you experiment safely and creatively Fantasy Mapping: choosing your setting, characters, vibe, turn-ons, and optional “why” behind your hottest scenarios How to use fantasies in the bedroom: during solo play, partnered play, public encounters, date nights, or sexting Join our Patreon and access the "Hot Girl Fantasy Guide" HERE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What if sexual confidence had nothing to do with experience and everything to do with trusting yourself? With a background in sexual health research and a passion for pleasure-first education, Caitlin V Neal breaks down what sexual confidence really means and how to build it (even if you’re starting from zero). From quieting your inner critic to getting out of performance mode, Caitlin shares actionable, empowering ways to feel grounded, connected, and fully in your body. What We Cover in This Episode: What sexual confidence actually is (and what it’s not). Hint: It’s not about being loud, kinky, or “experienced.” Confidence is about self-trust, self-awareness, and staying connected to your needs. Why performance culture is killing our confidence. We unpack how porn, media, and even hookup culture teach us to perform instead of feel and how to unlearn that. How to stop judging yourself in the moment. Caitlin shares tangible tools for staying present, even when your inner critic shows up in bed. The link between nervous system regulation and confidence. If you’ve ever frozen, dissociated, or gone into people-pleasing mode during sex... this part is for you. The #1 mindset shift to build confidence fast. This reframe alone will change the way you show up in intimacy, especially if you struggle with body image or “being too much.” What to do when your partner’s confidence (or lack of it) affects yours. Real talk on how to navigate mismatched confidence levels and build each other up without pressure. Why communication is confidence. From asking for what you want to setting boundaries, you can’t fake confidence when your voice isn’t in the room. Small steps that build big confidence over time. Caitlin walks us through daily rituals and rewiring techniques to cultivate long-term, unshakeable sexual confidence. Connect with Caitlin: On her website On Instagram On TikTok ⁠Subscribe to our Patreon for downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more!⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If your sex drive tanked after starting antidepressants, you’re not alone and you’re definitely not broken. This week we’re dipping into the Honey Aerchive and revisiting our episode with Dr. Jordan Rullo, a Clinical Health Psychologist and Sex Therapist who specializes in sexual function. Dr. Rullo explains how antidepressants impact desire, arousal, and orgasm, and what you can actually do to bring the spark (and your confidence) back. What We Cover in This Episode: The science behind antidepressants and sexual function. We break down how these medications affect brain chemistry and why they often lower desire. Why your libido isn’t “broken.” Dr. Rullo explains how changes in sex drive are a common side effect, not a personal failing. The difference between desire and arousal (and why it matters). Understanding these two states can help you better navigate sexual changes on medication. How to talk to your partner when your sex drive shifts. Real scripts and strategies to keep communication open and shame-free. Tips for getting in the mood (without forcing it). From sensory play to scheduling intimacy, we share tools that actually work. What to ask your doctor about antidepressant side effects. Learn how to advocate for yourself if your medication is impacting your sexual wellness. The emotional side of sexual changes. We explore how antidepressants can affect confidence, connection, and self-image, and what to do about it. Simple ways to reconnect with your body and pleasure. Dr. Rullo shares techniques to help you stay present and rebuild sexual confidence. Connect with Dr. Jordan Rullo HERE! ⁠Subscribe to our Patreon for downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more!⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Why do relationships feel so DAMN complicated these days? Modern love comes with sky-high expectations—partners are expected to be our best friend, therapist, co-parent, and soulmate all rolled into one. In this episode, Nicholas Velotta, Ph.D. student and Head of Research at Arya, shares why relationships feel harder today, what the science of intimacy has to tell us, and how building community (and redefining partnership) can take the pressure off and bring the spark back. What We Cover in This Episode: Why relationships feel harder than ever. Nicholas explains the cultural and social shifts that have added new layers of pressure to modern love. The myth of “one person meeting all your needs." How expecting a romantic partner to fill every role—friend, confidant, cheerleader—sets us up for frustration. The power of community for your love life. Why friendships and support systems are essential for a healthy relationship + how to build them. Redefining partnership and effort. We talk about the natural ebb and flow of giving and receiving, and why sometimes it’s okay to carry more of the weight. Taking action when things feel stagnant. Small, research-backed steps to break out of disconnection and rebuild intimacy. What the latest intimacy research has to teach us. Nicholas shares findings from his work on the tools couples need to stay connected long-term.  How Arya is reshaping relationship and sexual wellness. A look at the couples platform helping partners strengthen their bond and stay curious. Sign up for Arya HERE *affiliate* Connect with Nicholas HERE! Follow Nicholas on Instagram HERE! Follow Nicholas on TikTok HERE! ⁠Subscribe to our Patreon for downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more!⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience.  The Question: “Hi there! Been a looooong time listener of the pod and have a question/need for advice. My fiancé and I have been together for almost 4 years, we’re in a super healthy relationship, and I feel very happy with him. The last few months or so, our sex life has been a little less than normal and less than what I hoped for. We still have satisfying sex, but not as frequently, and it’s pretty formulaic—we go to what we know works. I feel like I’m initiating more (probably 80% me, 20% him), and because of that, I get told no more, which never feels good. I’ve been wanting to get out of this lull to make our sex life fantastic again. Then a few days ago, I woke up and saw him looking at sexual reels of Instagram models, saving and screenshotting them. He didn’t know I could see his screen, and I haven’t said anything. We both watch porn and have talked about boundaries—this doesn’t cross any, but I still feel so bad/jealous/insecure. I think it’s because when we talk about porn abstractly, it’s easier to process, but actually seeing it hurt my feelings. My brain keeps telling me the story that he has sexual feelings about these women that he doesn’t seem to have about me, and I hate that thought. I’m upset with him, which isn’t fair because he didn’t break my trust, but it really sucked to see. I’m feeling like I don’t want to be affectionate right now. I wish I could be more evolved about this, and I’d love your perspective/advice on how to move past this and not be so hurt by something very normal.” What We Cover in This Episode: How to get out of a sex lull. Whether things have gotten routine or you're not having sex as often as you'd like, we share ways to shift the energy and reignite desire. Rethinking what it means to initiate sex. Initiation doesn’t always have to be physical or as blunt as "want to have sex?" We walk through ways to initiate that feel natural, playful, and pressure-free. How to figure out what your partner needs (without guessing). Questions to ask, things to notice, and ways to open up honest convo about how he experiences intimacy and desire. Tools to navigate rejection without resentment. We share strategies to help both partners handle “not tonight” moments with care, like setting expectations, creating opt-in moments, and building connection even when sex isn’t on the table. When he’s looking at Instagram models...what does it mean and what should you do? We unpack the feelings that come up when your partner engages with sexual content online, how to rework boundaries around it, and what to say if it hurts, even if it technically doesn’t “break a rule.” Specific phrases to help you start and steer the conversation. We give you language you can borrow or tweak, including a mini role-play of how we’d personally approach this chat. Tools to spice things up and try something new. From foreplay ideas to spicy games, we suggest ways to add novelty, connection, and fun back into your routine. A big heaping dose of validation, because this is hard. If you’re the one initiating most of the time, feeling rejected, or wondering if it’s even okay to bring this up, you’re not alone, and you’re not asking for too much. ⁠Subscribe to our Patreon for downloadables, extended episodes, video episodes + more!⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices