Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Parent coach Margaret Webb believes that while many of us as parents are busy trying to meet our child’s unique needs, we’re often neglecting our own. In our conversation, she shares her ideas for how parents can shift this dynamic in a way that results in a more peaceful, more rewarding experience all around. The bonus? Our kids reap the biggest benefits.Margaret Webb is a certified Master Life Coach, parenting coach, nature-based coach, former teacher, wife and mother. As a life and parenting coach, she weaves together her experience as an elementary education teacher with the tools she’s learned in Martha Beck’s Life Coach Training, Sagefire Institute’s Nature-Based Coach Training, and what she’s applied to her own life as a mom of a child with special needs.Things you’ll learn from this episode How to feel empowered as a parent so you can be proactively peacefully instead of reactive What the process of letting go of the expectations we have of ourselves and who our children “should” be looks like How the energy we bring to the table can either positively or negatively impact day-to-day challenges The benefits of community support for parents raising differently-wired kids What is at the root of much of the frustration we as parents experience The simple act with huge benefits: deep breaths How taking care of ourselves in rough moments is great modeling for our kids Resources mentioned for Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect Margaret Webb Life Coach Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect While You Were Expecting Online Course Martha Beck Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Guest Kristy Forbes, an autism and neurodiversity support specialist, discusses autistic burnout, the challenges of recognizing it in children, and the need for deep rest during these periods. They also explore how mental health challenges can be misunderstood in autistic burnout treatment and offer strategies to support young people in prioritizing rest and self-care. The podcast emphasizes the importance of acceptance, understanding, and community support in helping autistic individuals navigate burnout.

Today I’m bringing back to the podcast a guest who has much goodness to offer our community, Casey O’Roarty, a positive discipline trainer, parent coach, author, and host of the Joyful Courage podcast. Casey is just about to publish her first book, a passion project called Joyful Courage: Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey. I had the opportunity to read an advance copy, and I absolutely loved how accessible, tangible, and real it is.As you’ll hear in our conversation, Casey has insights and strategies that are powerful for parents raising challenging kids, and she paints a realistic and doable picture of how we can truly calm the drama happening at home and in our families, as well as find more peace in the day to day. Casey O’Roarty, M Ed, is a facilitator of personal growth and development. Her work encourages parents to discover the purpose of their journey, while also providing them with tools and a shift of mindset that allows them to deepen their relationships with themselves and their families. As a former teacher, and a Certified Positive Discipline Trainer since 2007, Casey has led countless groups through workshops and classes that have left them feeling empowered and excited about parenting. She also offers an engaging podcast, live and online classes, and individual coaching at www.joyfulcourage.com. Casey lives in the Pacific Northwest with greatest teachers – her husband, and two teenage kids. Things you’ll learn from this episode Why Casey wrote her book and what she hopes it does in the world The core ideas behind Jane Nelsen’s philosophy of Positive Discipline What truly understanding that we as parents are not alone in our journey does for us How mindfully paying attention to the body helps us calm the drama at home in difficult moments The way using words such as “never” and “always” can negatively impact our parenting experience How to develop the muscle of “noticing” and how this simple concept can have a profound impact in our families The power of the intentional pause  Resources mentioned for calming the drama at home Joyful Courage (Casey’s website) Joyful Courage: Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey by Casey O’Roarty Joyful Courage podcast How Positive Discipline Can Help Atypical Children Thrive (podcast episode) Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen’s website) Love and Love with Joyful Courage (Facebook Group) Joyful Courage Parents of Teens (Facebook Group) Joyful Courage on Instagram Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, we’re talking about negative thinking and how to help kids who are more “glass half empty” thinkers shift their mindset. My guest is the woman who literally wrote the book on the subject, psychologist Dr. Tamar Chansky, author of Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking.Tamar and I talked about what negative thinking is, whether it is possible to change, how to respond when our child is venting their unhappiness or negative thoughts to us, and Tamar’s four steps to combating negative thinking. There’s a good chance that we as the parents and caregivers and adults in the room have our own work to do when it comes to hyperfocusing or dwelling on negative thoughts, so we explore that as well. Honestly, I’ve listened to this episode 3 times already – once recording it, and two more times before releasing it because it’s packed with so many nuggets that I personally need to hear right now. I hope it lands for you the same way. Dr. Tamar Chansky, is a psychologist and a writer on a mission to teach kids, adults, and couples how to make the mind a safer place to live by changing their relationship to anxiety one thought at a time. In 1999. Tamar founded Children’s and Adult Center for OCD and Anxiety in Plymouth Meeting, PA. In addition to the book we’re talking about today, Tamar is the author of Freeing Your Child from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Freeing Your Child from Anxiety, and Freeing Yourself from Anxiety.Things you'll learn from this episode Whether or not neurodivergent kids are more prone to negative thinking than neurotypical kids What the definition of negative thinking is Whether it’s possible for a child whose default mode is “glass half-empty” thinking to become more optimistic What the negative patterns are that we are trying to disrupt when working on negative thinking with our kids Whether venting is something that encourages negative thinking or not The four steps to combat negative thinking How to navigate the balance of protecting children from adversity and exposing them to the nature of the world around us  Resources mentioned: Dr. Tamar Chansky’s website Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking: Powerful, Practical Strategies to Build a Lifetime of Resilience, Flexibility, and Happiness by Dr. Tamar Chansky Freeing Yourself from Anxiety: Practical Strategies to Overcome Fears, Worries, and Phobias and Be Prepared for Life--from Toddlers to Teens by Dr. Tamar Chansky Freeing Your Child from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: A Powerful, Practical Program for Parents of Children and Adolescents by Dr. Tamar Chansky Children’s and Adult Center for OCD and Anxiety in Plymouth Meeting, PA Worrywisekids.org Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This week I bring back to the show Neil Brown, a licensed clinical social worker, the author of Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle: Resolve the Power Struggle and Build Trust, Responsibility, and Respect, and host of the Healthy Family Connections Podcast.When I last had Neil on the show, we talked about control battles with teens, and if you haven’t listened to that episode, I highly encourage you to go back and check it out here. In today’s episode, we’re tackling an equally important topic, and one I think will resonate deeply with our audience here: Parental Burnout.In our conversation, Neil will explain what exactly parental burnout is and how it negatively impacts parents and families, tell us how to identify it, and share his strategies for recovering from it. If you regularly feel frustrated and exhausted and are experiencing high levels of stress in relation to your parenting life, this is an episode you will definitely want to listen to. Neil D. Brown, LCSW, is a psychotherapist who has worked with families, couples, and individuals for more than thirty years. Deeply steeped in the theory and practice of family therapy, Brown uses a systemic approach that allows him to understand the system, or context, in which problems are both formed and are healed. This approach has revealed a simple yet profound method of empowering parents and their adolescent youth to put an end to destructive control battles for good. Brown is also a trainer of parents and mental health professionals. Additionally, Brown works in industry with teams and work groups to increase organizational effectiveness. Things you’ll learn from this episode What parental burnout is and why parents of differently-wired kids are especially susceptible to it The importance of making sure our emotional needs are met when it comes to preventing burnout Why moms experience parental burnout more frequently than dads What recovery from parental burnout looks like, and how long it takes How to help teens with a fixed mindset develop a growth mindset Resources mentioned for burned out parents Neil Brown’s website Ending the Parent-Teen Control Battle: Resolve the Power Struggle and Build Trust, Responsibility, and Respect by Neil Brown Healthy Family Connections Podcast (Neil’s podcast) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I found about Lori’s work recently and after reading her book Connections over Compliance: Rewiring our Perceptions of Discipline, I really wanted to bring her on as a guest because I believe the work she is doing is revolutionary. Lori’s work centers around helping educators, parents, and any adults who work with children shift the way they think about discipline by reaching for sustainable behavioral changes through brain state awareness rather than compliance and obedience. She’s actively pushing back against reactive and punitive practices that can potentially reactivate the developing stress response systems of children, and is advocating for stronger co-regulation practices and regulated brain and body states for adults. During this conversation, we consider why there is such a powerful foundational belief that discipline and punishment go together, what happens when the traditional methods of punishment are imposed on children who are coming to school with trauma or a heightened nervous system, and why it’s so important for educators to take responsibility over their own nervous system regulation. About Dr. Lori DesautelsDr. Lori Desautels, has been an Assistant Professor at Butler University since 2016 where she teaches both undergraduate and graduate programs in the College of Education.Lori’s passion is engaging her students through the social and relational neurosciences as it applies to education by integrating the Applied Educational Neuroscience framework, and its learning principles and practices into her coursework at Butler. Lori is the author of 4 books. Her most recent book, Connections over Compliance: Rewiring our Perceptions of Discipline was released in late 2020. Her new book will be published in January, 2023 entitled, “Intentional Neuroplasticity, Our Educational Journey Towards Post Traumatic Growth.” Things you'll learn from this episode Why there is such a powerful foundational belief that discipline and punishment go together What happens when the traditional methods of punishment are imposed on children who are coming to school with traumas or a heightened nervous system Why we should be moving away from the behavior management model Why it’s so important for educators to take responsibility over their own nervous system regulation Strategies for helping teachers (and parents) better show up for dysregulated kids  Resources mentioned Revelations in Education, Dr. Lori Desautel’s website Connections Over Compliance: Rewiring Our Perceptions of Discipline by Dr. Lori Desautels Eyes Are Never Quiet: Listening Beneath the Behaviors of Our Most Troubled Students by Dr. Lori Desautels Resources from Revelations in Education Dr. Bruce Perry Dr. Mona Delahooke on the Power of Brain-Body Parenting (Tilt Parenting podcast episode) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest this week is Blake Boles, the self-directed learning advocate behind Unschool Adventures and the author of several books on unschooling, including The Art of Self-Directed Learning, Better Than College, and College Without High School, as well as the host of the Off-Trail Learning podcast. Now… you may be reading this and thinking, I’m not homeschooling my child or “unschooling” isn’t my thing. But I’m going to encourage you to listen to what Blake has to say. Because regardless of your child’s educational circumstances, there is wisdom to be gleaned from Blake’s philosophy on self-directed learning and helping our kids grow up into intrinsically motivated humans who understand themselves and are driven to seek out the information and resources they need to achieve their goals. I also love that Blake’s approach beautifully challenges those traditional timelines that our differently wired kids often don’t meet anyway. So… have a listen and let me know what you think. I’m curious to hear how this lands with you. Blake Boles is the founder and director of Unschool Adventures and the author of The Art of Self-Directed Learning, Better Than College, and College Without High School.  He hosts the Off-Trail Learning podcast, speaks for alternative schools, writes for The Alliance for Self-Directed Education, and has keynoted multiple homeschooling conferences.  Things you’ll learn from this episode  What unschooling actually is (in comparison with traditional or eclectic homeschooling) The most common myths and assumptions surrounding unschooled kids How intrinsic motivation is the key to helping a student learn what they want to learn when they’re ready to learn it The ways in which unschooling and self-directed learning respects a child’s unique timeline What the transition from a traditional educational model to unschooling might look like might look like What a transition to university looks like in the U.S. for children who’ve been homeschooled, and how to do it How parents who are homeschooling their child can play the role as “consultant” rather than teacher, and giving child the room to become truly self-directed Tips for parents looking to dip their toe into unschooling Resources mentioned for what is unschooling?  Blake Boles’ website Unschool Adventures Off-Trail Learning  The Art of Self-Directed Learning: 23 Tips for Giving Yourself an Unconventional Education  Better Than College: How to Build a Successful Life Without a Four-Year Degree  Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Since my guest for today’s episode, Dr. Abigail Gewirtz was on the show just over two years ago near the start of the COVID pandemic, the world has continued to go through increasingly complicated and challenging times. Like I’m sure all of you out there listening, I’ve struggled to find ways to help my child feel hope and optimism about the state of the world — the war in Ukraine, a spate of school shootings, a very polarized political landscape, and catastrophic weather events. So I wanted to ask Abigail, the author of the wonderful book When the World Feels Like a Scary Place: Essential Conversations for Anxious Parents and Worried Kids, if hope and optimism is possible to find even when things around us feel so unpredictable and chaotic, and if so, how can we cultivate this for our kids in an authentic way?In our conversation, Abigail shares her ideas for doing that, as well as ways we adults can manage our own fear and worries to be able to show up for our kids, and the importance of guiding kids toward something that makes them feel purpose and meaning. Dr. Abigail Gewirtz is a child psychologist and professor at the University of Minnesota’s College of Education and Human Development (ranked the world’s third-leading institution of its kind). Dr. Gewirtz has consulted for and presented to national and international organizations, including the US Congress and UNICEF, on parenting. Dr. Gewirtz’s most recent book is When the World Feels Like a Scary Place: Essential Conversations for Anxious Parents and Worried Kids.Things you'll learn from this episode What Abigail is seeing in her work over the past two years regarding of the state of the world and the impact on kids and families How adults can manage their own pain, fear, and worries so they can show up for their kids Whether it’s possible for our kids to feel optimism in the midst of growing up in a heavy and difficult times How to guide a child toward identifying something that could help them feel a sense of purpose and meaning What happens in our kids' developing brains when they consume content that reinforces pessimism and division What leading kids with negative mindsets toward hope might look like Resources mentioned: Dr. Abigail Gewirtz’s website When the World Feels Like a Scary Place: Essential Conversations for Anxious Parents and Worried Kids by Dr. Abigail Gewirtz How to Talk to Kids When the World Feels Like a Scary Place (Tilt Parenting podcast episode) Dr. Devorah Heitner on Online Safety and Internet “Rabbit Holes” and Differently Wired Kids (Tilt Parenting podcast episode) Dr. Tamar Chansky on How to Free Our Children from Negative Thinking (Tilt Parenting podcast episode) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, I talk with Dr. Melissa Neff, a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Missoula, MT in the United States who specializes in conducting psychological evaluations with children (ages 6-18) and adults. A lot of Melissa’s practice focuses on helping parents figure out what’s going on with their children and diagnosing things like ADHD and autism, although she shared with me that one of her favorite aspects of her practice lately is working with girls who are on the spectrum.There are so many things I could have talked about with Melissa, but for today’s episode, we focused our conversation on the diagnostic process—what it involves and when and how parents can take the steps they need to pursue a diagnosis—as well as the pros and cons of getting a diagnoses, and more specifically, of having one or more labels attached to a child, both in their educational journey, as well as their lives as they grow into adults.  Melissa Neff, Ph.D received her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology in 2008 from the University of Montana following the completion of an APA-approved pre-doctoral internship at Spokane Mental in Spokane, WA. She has extensive training in working with children and adults of all ages. Her areas of specialty are the diagnostic evaluation of psychological disorders and the assessment and treatment of trauma. Dr. Neff also has extensive experience in testing for ADHD, autism spectrum disorders, mood disorders, personality disorders, and anxiety disorders. She utilizes a strengths-based approach in her work in an attempt to foster resilience, preferring a team-centered approach to assessment and intervention. Things you’ll learn from this episode The typical / “best” ages for kids to be assessed What some of the early signs are that a child might be on the autism spectrum How subjective is the process of assessing / diagnosing a child? What makes a “good diagnosis?” Why the current diagnostic process isn’t catching everyone, especially girls (for both autism and ADHD) The value of a diagnosis or label—pros and cons Tips for navigating the process of getting a diagnosis Resources mentioned for the assessment process for kids Dr. Melissa Neff’s website A Conversation with Julie George About Girls on the Autism Spectrum ADHD is Different for Women Decades of Failing to Recognize ADHD in Girls Has Created a Lost Generation of Women  Neurotribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity  Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today is an important conversation about online communities and internet rabbit holes. And I felt pulled to tackle this topic for the show because I know that the past few years in particularly has been a time where differently wired kids have been a) spending a LOT more time online and connecting with people they may not have even meant in real life, and b) doing their identity development largely online as a result of COVID. And I also know that this can put our kids, and us as their parents and caregivers, in challenging positions as we navigate a seemingly endless stream of discourse that may lead our kids down the wrong paths. So I asked my friend and screen and tech expert Dr. Devorah Heitner to join me for a frank and open conversation about it all. We talked about the ways differently wired kids might be exposed to harmful content, and why our kids may be more susceptible to toxic or unhealthy virtual rabbit holes in the first place, the popular places where teens and kids are hanging out the most right now, the way our kids’ worldview and their brain development is impacted they content their engaging with, and what we parents might not know that we should know about regarding this topic. Dr. Devorah Heitner is the author of Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World and her book on navigating Privacy and Reputation with kids and teens, Growing Up in Public will be out in 2023 with Penguin Random House. Dr. Heitner’s work has appeared in the New York Times, the Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal, and CNN Opinion. She has a Ph.D. in Media/Technology & Society from Northwestern University and has taught at DePaul and Northwestern.  Things you'll learn from this episode Why differently wired kids are more vulnerable to Internet rabbit holes The places online where today’s teens and kids are hanging out the most right now Whether it’s possible to set up controls to manage the type of contents kids are accessing on sites like Reddit The way our kids’ worldview and their brain development is impacted by engaging with potentially toxic content What parents don’t know about what's going on with their kids and the way that they're accessing content Resources mentioned Devorah Heitner’s website Phonewise Boot Camp  Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World by Dr. Devorah Heitner Devorah’s TEDx Talk, The Challenges of Raising a Digital Native Devorah on Twitter Devorah on Instagram   Support the show Connect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices