Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Middle school might not feel like a very enchanting time in our lives — it definitely didn’t feel that way for me when I was living through it. But according to my guest Chris Balme, middle school is a time of great magic and opportunity for our kids, and for us as parents, if we know what we’re looking for. In our conversation, Chris explains the three stages of identity development a child goes through in middle school, how we as parents will want to adapt our parenting styles change as our kids reach these stages, and how to navigate our child breaking our trust. We also talked about what individuation is and what it means to become a better companion for our kids, which is a reframe I really love.Chris Balme is an education leader and writer, passionate about helping young people discover more of their human potential. As Co-Founder and Head of School at Millennium School, a lab school in San Francisco, Chris helped pioneer new learning methods for middle schoolers, based in developmental science. Chris then founded Argonaut, an online program to bring social-emotional learning to more students. He now serves as the Founding Principal of Hakuba International School in Japan, developing learning approaches that foster human and environmental well-being. Things you'll learn from this episode Why Chris believes the middle school years are magical What the three stages of identity development for middle school students are how kids may progress through them What individuation is and how to navigate it with your children Advice for parents regarding scaffolding in a way that supports their child’s development How to navigate a child breaking our trust What companioning is and how to do that for our kids  Resources mentioned Chris Balme’s website Finding the Magic in Middle School: Tapping Into the Power and Potential of the Middle School Years by Chris Balme Chris’s Growing Wiser newsletter (Substack) Not Much, Just Chillin’: The Hidden Lives of Middle Schoolers by Linda Perlstein Maria Montessori  Anders Ronnau on How He’s Transforming ADHD (Tilt Parenting podcast) Ned Johnson and Bill Stixrud on How to Motivate Kids and Build Their Stress Tolerance (Tilt Parenting podcast)  The Self-Driven Child with Dr. William Stixrud and Ned Johnson (Tilt Parenting podcast)  Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this special kid’s POV edition, I share a short conversation with my 11-year-old child Asher about the new morning routine we began doing in January 2016.The routine is based on author and speaker Hal Elrod’s book The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM). Because I’m always looking for ways to support Asher in developing more self-awareness, we agreed to start off the New Year trying out a new routine. In this episode, Asher walks listeners through what the new 6-step morning routine—consisting of meditation, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading, and journaling—looks like, and explains its impact, as well as why Asher thinks other kids would benefit. Debbie Reber is the founder of Tilt and the host of the Tilt Parenting Podcast. 11-year-old Asher is Debbie’s child and is regularly featured on the podcast.  Things you'll learn from the episode:  How implementing a purposeful morning routine such as the one highlighted in Hal Elrod’s book The Miracle Morning has the potential to positively impact a child’s day The benefits for children on beginning each day by focusing on presence, positivity, and intention Asher’s thoughts on whether other kids could benefit from a new morning routine like the one he’s doing How meaningful a change can be when a child is self-motivated by their own personal discoveries about the benefits of a new habit Resources mentioned: The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life (Before 8AM) by Hal Elrod Pat Flynn’s podcast, Smart Passive Income Kerbal Space Program, Asher’s favorite online game (at the moment) Asher and Debbie’s visualization soundtrack: Enya’s Caribbean Blue, Charles Atlas’ The Snow Before Us, and Badly Drawn Boy’s I Love NYE Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I know that there are concerns among many families that their child’s self-esteem can be negatively impacted by a label, or that others, including teachers may treat a child differently if they know they have one or more diagnoses, especially because of the stigma associated with neurodifferences. So this is what Dr. Karen Wilson and I get into — demystifying the process and offering suggestions for approaching these important conversations. In our conversation, Karen breaks down the kind of language we can use when talking with kids about their diagnosis, as well as how that conversation will likely continue to evolve as our kids get older. We also talked about how to navigate this process with a child or teen who is resistant to labels, why it’s critical that we have all of these conversations from a foundation of prioritizing and recognizing strengths.  and how to have this conversation in a household with neurotypical siblings.Dr. Karen Wilson is a Clinical Neuropsychologist, Director of West LA Neuropsychology, PC, the founder of ChildNEXUS.com, and the host of the Diverse Thinking · Different Learning podcast. She specializes in the assessment of neurodevelopmental disorders in children and adolescents, and she has extensive experience evaluating children and adults who present with neurological, medical and psychiatric disorders.Things you'll learn from this episode What a diagnosis actually is and what it can mean to a family How to balance communication surrounding your child’s areas of strengths and weaknesses so the emphasis is not on challenges What types of language to use when talking with your kids about their diagnoses, and how to evolve language as kids get older How to navigate talking with children and teens about their neurodifferences if they’re resistant to labels or being “otherized” Best practices for talking about diagnoses in households with neurotypical siblings How to give kids the tools and empowerment they need to ultimately feel confident navigating situations in their lives where they are judged by their diagnosis and related stigma Resources mentioned  Dr. Karen Wilson’s website Dr. Karen Wilson on Twitter Dr. Karen Wilson on LinkedIn ChildNEXUS Diverse Thinking, Different Learning (Karen’s podcast)  Dr. Karen Wilson on How to Know if Your Child is Ready for the Transition to Elementary School (Tilt Parenting podcast) Carol Dweck and Mindset Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, we are diving in to the realities of parenting gifted and 2e kids. Gail and I talked about the common challenges parents raising gifted and 2e kids experience as part of their journey, why it can sometimes feel uncomfortable to celebrate our child’s accomplishments with others and how that impacts our kids and us, and how to handle our own expectations and pressures we may experience because of our child’s unique learning profile. We also explore what many families of gifted kids experience as a complicated relation with the word “potential,” as well as how we as parents can manage our own uncomfortable emotions that may arise in parenting our kids, including anxiety, envy, and guilt.Gail Post, Ph.D. is a Clinical Psychologist, parenting coach and consultant, workshop leader, and writer. She is also a Clinical Associate Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine In practice for over 35 years, she provides psychotherapy with a focus on the needs of the intellectually and musically gifted and twice-exceptional, parenting coaching and workshops, and consultation with educators and psychotherapists. Dr. Post is the parent of two gifted young adults and served as co-chair of a gifted parents advocacy group when her children were in school. Her writing includes articles, several book chapters, and a long-standing blog, Gifted Challenges. Her new book, The Gifted Parenting Journey: A Guide to Self-discovery and Support for Families of Gifted Children, combines research, theory, and clinical experience, and extends her advocacy efforts to address the needs of parents of gifted children.Things you'll learn from this episode The common challenges parents raising gifted and 2e kids may experience as part of their journey Why parents of gifted kids feel intense pressure surrounding their child’s educational path and how that can negatively impact families Why the word “potential” is a loaded one in families with gifted and 2e kids, and how parents can change their relationship with this concept Why anxiety is common amongst parents raising gifted or 2e kids The unique challenges BIPOC parents raising gifted kids face Why self-awareness is the road map to attuned parenting when raising gifted and 2e kids Resources mentioned Gail Post’s website Gifted Challenges The Gifted Parenting Journey: A Guide to Self-Discovery and Support for Families of Gifted Children by Gail Post Gail Post / Gifted Challenges on Twitter Gail Post / Gifted Challenges on Instagram Parenting From the Inside Out: How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive by Dr. Dan Siegel Marc Smolowitz Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For this episode, I sit down with Kate Berger, a child and adolescent psychologist, Mindfulness instructor, and owner of the Netherlands-based therapy practice, Expat Kids’ Club, for a conversation about the benefits of mindfulness in kids and ideas for how to begin weaving mindfulness into our families’ lives.Kate is heavily engaged in the movement to bring mindfulness into schools and other children’s communities, and is a big believer in the benefits of mindfulness in kids, especially with regards to emotional and mental well-being, both in school and in their inner lives.Kate Berger, MSc is a child and adolescent psychologist, consultant, and the founder of The Expat Kids Club which has provided counsel to hundreds of youngsters and, their families, as well as major corporations, from the U.K., Germany, Singapore, and the U.S. Kate is also the Co-Chair & Co-Founder of the Families In Global Transition affiliate in The Netherlands, and is a dedicated mindfulness meditation practitioner and certified instructor who teaches mindfulness to young people through the collaborative Mindfulness International.Things you’ll learn from this episode What mindfulness actually is Why developing a mindfulness practice is a natural fit for children How mindfulness can specifically benefit differently-wired kids How mindfulness can support a parent in especially intense or difficult moments Tips and ideas for introducing, encouraging, and supporting a mindfulness practice in your family Resources mentioned for Mindfulness for Kids Kate Berger’s practice The Expat Kids’ Club Mindfulness in Schools Project Mindful Schools MindUP Foundation Sitting Still Like a Frog (book) Headspace mindfulness app (iTunes) “When Mindfulness Meets the Classroom” (The Atlantic Article) Free mindfulness course through Future Learn Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If you are a parent of a neurodivergent kid with a diagnosed learning disability, you likely have had experience with Individualized Education Plans, otherwise known as IEPs. And if this is you, my hunch is you have some feelings about IEPs and the whole process — the stresses, the unknowns, the fact that it might feel like you have to understand a completely different language just to get the services and supports your child needs and deserves in schools.I invited occupational therapist Beth Liesenfeld of The IEP Lab to answer your questions around how parents can better prepare for an IEP meeting, what actually makes a good IEP, and how we can go about making changes on an IEP if we realize the accommodations aren’t being effective or if a school isn’t following through in a way the IEP outlines.Beth is an incredibly knowledgeable expert on the subject of IEPs, and as you’ll hear, she’s truly passionate about providing “insider” information of the school’s process and culture to parents in order to increase collaboration between parents and school staff. Through her school experience, Beth saw inequity in parents' ability to advocate for a quality IEP for their child and now teaches parents a 4-step process to effectively advocate for their children within the schools through online workshops and interactive, supportive online courses.Beth Liesenfeld, MOT, OTR/L is an occupational therapist passionate about providing “insider” information of the school’s process and culture to parents in order to increase collaboration between parents and school staff! Her company, The IEP Lab, provides online workshops and courses as well as produces The Parent IEP Lab Podcast.Things you'll learn from this episode What parents actually need to know before they go into an IEP meeting The criteria for designing an effective and supportive IEP The intention behind the goals written into any IEP, and how to create goals that lead to hoped for outcomes What parents can do if their children’s school doesn’t follow through on the accommodations provided in their child’s IEP How to include accommodations for students who are struggling with school refusal and therefore may not be meeting attendance requirements What the IDEA says about seeking an IEP for twice-exceptional children who may be performing “adequately” but aren’t reaching their potential Resources mentioned for the IEP Process The IEP Lab website IEP Process Step-By-Step Guide (free download) The Ultimate Parent IEP Pre Course (Beth’s signature program) COPAA (Council of Parent Attorneys and Advocates) Wrightslaw Special Education and Advocacy Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) How to Feel Heard and Communicate Who Your Child is with Ease: How to Write a Vision Statement! (The IEP Podcast - Episode 41) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Parent coach Margaret Webb believes that while many of us as parents are busy trying to meet our child’s unique needs, we’re often neglecting our own. In our conversation, she shares her ideas for how parents can shift this dynamic in a way that results in a more peaceful, more rewarding experience all around. The bonus? Our kids reap the biggest benefits.Margaret Webb is a certified Master Life Coach, parenting coach, nature-based coach, former teacher, wife and mother. As a life and parenting coach, she weaves together her experience as an elementary education teacher with the tools she’s learned in Martha Beck’s Life Coach Training, Sagefire Institute’s Nature-Based Coach Training, and what she’s applied to her own life as a mom of a child with special needs.Things you’ll learn from this episode How to feel empowered as a parent so you can be proactively peacefully instead of reactive What the process of letting go of the expectations we have of ourselves and who our children “should” be looks like How the energy we bring to the table can either positively or negatively impact day-to-day challenges The benefits of community support for parents raising differently-wired kids What is at the root of much of the frustration we as parents experience The simple act with huge benefits: deep breaths How taking care of ourselves in rough moments is great modeling for our kids Resources mentioned for Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect Margaret Webb Life Coach Parenting the Child You Didn’t Expect While You Were Expecting Online Course Martha Beck Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Guest Kristy Forbes, an autism and neurodiversity support specialist, discusses autistic burnout, the challenges of recognizing it in children, and the need for deep rest during these periods. They also explore how mental health challenges can be misunderstood in autistic burnout treatment and offer strategies to support young people in prioritizing rest and self-care. The podcast emphasizes the importance of acceptance, understanding, and community support in helping autistic individuals navigate burnout.

Today I’m bringing back to the podcast a guest who has much goodness to offer our community, Casey O’Roarty, a positive discipline trainer, parent coach, author, and host of the Joyful Courage podcast. Casey is just about to publish her first book, a passion project called Joyful Courage: Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey. I had the opportunity to read an advance copy, and I absolutely loved how accessible, tangible, and real it is.As you’ll hear in our conversation, Casey has insights and strategies that are powerful for parents raising challenging kids, and she paints a realistic and doable picture of how we can truly calm the drama happening at home and in our families, as well as find more peace in the day to day. Casey O’Roarty, M Ed, is a facilitator of personal growth and development. Her work encourages parents to discover the purpose of their journey, while also providing them with tools and a shift of mindset that allows them to deepen their relationships with themselves and their families. As a former teacher, and a Certified Positive Discipline Trainer since 2007, Casey has led countless groups through workshops and classes that have left them feeling empowered and excited about parenting. She also offers an engaging podcast, live and online classes, and individual coaching at www.joyfulcourage.com. Casey lives in the Pacific Northwest with greatest teachers – her husband, and two teenage kids. Things you’ll learn from this episode Why Casey wrote her book and what she hopes it does in the world The core ideas behind Jane Nelsen’s philosophy of Positive Discipline What truly understanding that we as parents are not alone in our journey does for us How mindfully paying attention to the body helps us calm the drama at home in difficult moments The way using words such as “never” and “always” can negatively impact our parenting experience How to develop the muscle of “noticing” and how this simple concept can have a profound impact in our families The power of the intentional pause  Resources mentioned for calming the drama at home Joyful Courage (Casey’s website) Joyful Courage: Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey by Casey O’Roarty Joyful Courage podcast How Positive Discipline Can Help Atypical Children Thrive (podcast episode) Positive Discipline (Jane Nelsen’s website) Love and Love with Joyful Courage (Facebook Group) Joyful Courage Parents of Teens (Facebook Group) Joyful Courage on Instagram Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode, we’re talking about negative thinking and how to help kids who are more “glass half empty” thinkers shift their mindset. My guest is the woman who literally wrote the book on the subject, psychologist Dr. Tamar Chansky, author of Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking.Tamar and I talked about what negative thinking is, whether it is possible to change, how to respond when our child is venting their unhappiness or negative thoughts to us, and Tamar’s four steps to combating negative thinking. There’s a good chance that we as the parents and caregivers and adults in the room have our own work to do when it comes to hyperfocusing or dwelling on negative thoughts, so we explore that as well. Honestly, I’ve listened to this episode 3 times already – once recording it, and two more times before releasing it because it’s packed with so many nuggets that I personally need to hear right now. I hope it lands for you the same way. Dr. Tamar Chansky, is a psychologist and a writer on a mission to teach kids, adults, and couples how to make the mind a safer place to live by changing their relationship to anxiety one thought at a time. In 1999. Tamar founded Children’s and Adult Center for OCD and Anxiety in Plymouth Meeting, PA. In addition to the book we’re talking about today, Tamar is the author of Freeing Your Child from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Freeing Your Child from Anxiety, and Freeing Yourself from Anxiety.Things you'll learn from this episode Whether or not neurodivergent kids are more prone to negative thinking than neurotypical kids What the definition of negative thinking is Whether it’s possible for a child whose default mode is “glass half-empty” thinking to become more optimistic What the negative patterns are that we are trying to disrupt when working on negative thinking with our kids Whether venting is something that encourages negative thinking or not The four steps to combat negative thinking How to navigate the balance of protecting children from adversity and exposing them to the nature of the world around us  Resources mentioned: Dr. Tamar Chansky’s website Freeing Your Child from Negative Thinking: Powerful, Practical Strategies to Build a Lifetime of Resilience, Flexibility, and Happiness by Dr. Tamar Chansky Freeing Yourself from Anxiety: Practical Strategies to Overcome Fears, Worries, and Phobias and Be Prepared for Life--from Toddlers to Teens by Dr. Tamar Chansky Freeing Your Child from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: A Powerful, Practical Program for Parents of Children and Adolescents by Dr. Tamar Chansky Children’s and Adult Center for OCD and Anxiety in Plymouth Meeting, PA Worrywisekids.org Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices