Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children

Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland's new book Is This Autism is a game-changing labor of love in which they clarify the many ways that autism can present, particularly in people who camouflage to hide their autistic traits. Their book walks readers through the diagnostic criteria in a way that presents a much deeper understanding of how those criteria can, and should, be interpreted. We cover a lot of ground in this extra-long episode, including why so many people, including women and girls and people in marginalized groups, are being misdiagnosed or simply “missed,” as well as why it’s critical that we look beyond the stereotypes of autism and gain a rich, nuanced understanding of the autistic experience. Dr. Donna Henderson has been a clinical psychologist for over 30 years. She is passionate about identifying and supporting autistic individuals, particularly those who camouflage. Dr. Sarah Wayland is the founder of Guiding Exceptional Parents, and co-founder of The Behavior Revolution. Things you'll learn from this episode Why there is an unwillingness to explore autism among many clinicians, as well as a lack of training for how to assess for it How Sarah and Donna’s joint book came together and what their goal is in getting it out into the world Why so many autistic people are being missed in a “traditional” diagnostic process Donna and Sarah’s thoughts on why the number of people getting an autism diagnostic has increased recent years Whether or not there is a place for “subjectivity” by an evaluator in the diagnostic process Resources mentioned  Is This Autism? website Dr. Donna Henderson’s website Sarah Wayland’s website Guiding Exceptional Parents Is This Autism? A Guide for Clinicians and Everyone Else by Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland Is This Autism? A Companion Guide for Diagnosing by Dr. Donna Henderson and Dr. Sarah Wayland (available July 2023) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’m very excited to be talking with psychologist, parent coach, and prolific author Dawn Huebner. One of the coolest things about making this podcast is getting to continually connect with people whose work I’ve not only been following for years, but people whose work and books have literally impacted my family in a meaningful way. On top of that, I get to ask them everything I want to know. Hopefully I cover the same things that you would ask if you were sitting in my chair, too. Today is one of those conversations, as we’ve owned and have been using Dawn’s books like What to Do When Your Temper Flares and What To Do When You Grumble Too Much for many years. Today Dawn and I are talking about her new book on anxiety called Outsmarting Worry: And Older Kid’s Guide to Overcoming Anxiety. Dawn has a gift for creating practical, doable, interactive “toolkits” to help feel empowered to take control of their emotional experience and make changes that can make the way they’re moving through life feel so much better. I hope you enjoy our conversation! Dawn Huebner, PhD, is a Clinical Psychologist, Parent Coach and popular speaker, specializing in the many faces of childhood anxiety. Her newest book, Outsmarting Worry, maintains her distinctive voice while adding a layer of detail and sophistication appreciated by older children and teens. THINGS YOU’LL LEARN FROM THIS EPISODE: What is “normal” worry for children and how will we know if our child needs help How we can help our children shift from being “irrational” with worry to calm What does the process of helping a child learn to manage their own worry and anxiety actually look like?  How might some parents be inadvertently exacerbating their child’s worry? What is one simple skill we can teach our child today to help him or her start to tackle worry? How can we help a child who is resistant to taking steps to learn how to manage their anxiety?  RESOURCES MENTIONED: Dr. Dawn Huebner’s website Outsmarting Worry by Dawn Huebner What to Do When Your Temper Flares by Dawn Huebner What to Do When You Grumble Too Much by Dawn Huebner What to Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Today’s episode features an eye-opening conversation with Julie Bogart on how to help kids who have resistance around writing, which, I have a hunch, is something many of you out there listening are familiar with. Julie, the mastermind behind the Brave Writer program, the Brave Writer podcast, and really thoughtful content on all things kids, writing, learning with confidence, and critical thinking, is the perfect person to explore this topic with. What I thought might be an interview that focused on the nuts and bolts of writing ended up being a very moving and inspiring lesson about self-expression and trust. Julie and I talked about how separating the mechanical and self-expression parts of writing can help kids experience less resistance to writing, how to break through barriers students may have when it comes to expressing themselves, and what Julie identifies as performance anxiety at the heart of a child’s struggles to getting starting putting words down on the page. Julie also gave some fantastic advice on how to change the script around writing resistance and where to get started for parents experiencing this at home. Julie Bogart is known for her common sense parenting and education advice. She’s the author of the beloved book, The Brave Learner, which has brought joy and freedom to countless home educators. Her new book, Raising Critical Thinkers, offers parents a lifeline in navigating the complex digital world our kids are confronting.Julie’s also the creator of the award-winning, innovative online writing program called Brave Writer, now 22 years old, serving 191 countries. Things you'll learn from this episode What Brave Writer is and how it helps families looking to support their children in becoming more confident writers How separating the mechanical and self-expression parts of writing can help kids experience less resistance Julie’s thoughts on support systems and available assistive technology and how they influence kids’ relationships with writing How to break through the resistance when children feel daunted by the idea of expressing themselves Why Julie believes performance anxiety is at the root of resistance when kids struggle to begin a writing task Advice for parents raising kids who experience intense resistance around the writing process Resources mentioned Julie Bogart’s Brave Writer website Julie Bogart’s Blog at Brave Writer Brave Writer Writing Blitz Brave Writer Podcast Raising Critical Thinkers: A Parents’ Guide to Growing Wise Kids in the Digital Age by Julie Bogart The Brave Learner: Finding Everyday Magic in Homeschool, Learning, and Life by Julie Bogart Julie Bogart on Instagram Julie Bogart on Facebook Julie Bogart on Twitter Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

To close out this season, I’m bringing you an interview with Amy Laurent and Jacquelyn Fede from Austim Level UP! I’m going to go out on a limb and say most of you have probably heard of Autism Level Up or heard Amy and Jacquelyn’s names before. Autism Level Up! Is a resource that I have personally spent hours pouring through because it’s so fantastic , accessible and informative. In this conversation I wanted to talk to Amy and Jacqueline about why they created Autism Level UP!, how the conversation surrounding autism and support for autistic people has changed over the past decade, and how we can all “level up” our own understanding of and experience with autism and neurodivergence.About my guestsJac is a super fun, super goofy and SUPER DUPER nerdy Autistic Advocate and the co-founder of Autism Level UP! Jac enjoys supporting Autistic Individuals and their partners as well as program evaluation, data and statistics, and app and web development. Jac is a physical activity junky and continues to meet its intense sensory needs by seeking high impact and highly resistant movements. Amy is an OT, co-author of the SCERTS model (a developmental framework for supporting Autistic people), and the co-founder of Autism Level UP!. Amy enjoys supporting Autistic individuals and their partners, co-conspiring as an ally to Autistic people and creative design of useful and accessible tools and supports. Amy has many sensory needs that she meets through running, yoga, dance, paddle boarding and even resistance training as prescribed by her trainer, Jac. Things you'll learn from this episode The story behind Austin Level Up and how (and why) Amy and Jacquelyn created it What the SCERTS model is and the ways in which Autism Level Up has reworked some of its aspects What Autism Level Up is and how parents can engage with it The difference between emotional regulation and energy regulation Resources mentioned Autism Level UP! Autism Level UP! on Facebook Autism Level UP! on Instagram The S.C.E.R.T.S. Model Uniquely Human: A Different Way of Seeing Autism by Dr. Barry Prizant Barry Prizant Talks About His Book “Uniquely Human” Dr. Barry Prizant and Dave Finch Talk About Their New Podcast, Uniquely Human (Tilt Parenting Podcast)  Dr. Devon Price and Unmasking Autism (Tilt Parenting Podcast)  Unmasking Autism: Discovering the New Faces of Neurodiversity by Devon Price, PhD Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This is going to be a different kind of an episode, because it’s the seven-year anniversary of Tilt Parenting (!) and it felt like a good time to do some reflection on where we – you, me, this community – are now. And I wanted to reflect because I think it’s important to pause, take a breath, and notice this moment. So, in this episode, I’ll share reflections on what has changed in the “Tilt revolution” and the neurodiversity movement in the years since Tilt Parenting first launched, including the language used in this space. I also get a little personal and give you some updates from my world, our family’s journey, and what’s next. Lastly, I always want to offer something practical and tangible that you can take with you into your daily life, so I’ll tell you about the five biggest lessons I’ve been learning over the past few years and explain how they’ve impacted our family dynamic, and my own life as the parent of a differently wired kid.Things you'll learn from this episode: How the conversation, and terminology, surrounding neurodivergence and the “movement” has evolved over the past seven years How I envisioned Tilt when I first developed it Why I believe there is no such thing as “normal” What I see as the most exciting developments in neuroscience developments and how they’ll impact differently wired children How my personal life has changed since I started Tilt and the challenges I’ve encountered in doing the inner work The five biggest lessons I’ve been learning over (and over) again in recent years Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this engaging discussion, Sam Young, a neurodivergent educator with ADHD and director of Young Scholars Academy, dives into the evolving social lives of twice-exceptional students. He highlights how technology has reshaped peer connections and offers strategies for parents to support their kids through social challenges. Sam emphasizes the importance of mentorship and nurturing a strengths-based approach to social skills. He also introduces innovative methods to foster confidence and community, all while celebrating the unique strengths of neurodivergent youth.

I really enjoyed exploring unschooling, deschooling, freedom, and liberation with Akilah Richards, host of the Fare the Free Child podcast and author of the book Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work.I reached out to Akilah after seeing her TED talk, which led me to her book, and then her podcast, and I knew I wanted to invite her to join me in conversation. A recurring theme in this podcast, and in Tilt, is doing our own inner work as parents, and I love how Akilah talks about relating our own reparenting to freedom, decolonization, and liberation.Akilah shares her personal story of going from traditional schooling to unschooling to deschooling, and how she and her husband came to consider the idea of raising free people, what that means, and how they’ve navigated the realities of making unconventional choices that can sometimes make other people uncomfortable. She also shares how they think about the success and what a fulfilled life looks like for her family, as well as how her work aimed at decolonizing parenting has resonated with people worldwide.About my guest:Akilah S. Richards is passionate about mindful partnerships and decolonizing parenting. She uses audio and written mediums to amplify the ways that unschooling in particular, is serving as healing grounds and liberation work for Black, non-Black Indigenous, and People of Color communities earthwide. Her celebrated unschooling podcast, Fare of the Free Child, and the numerous workshops and gatherings she has been part of, have garnered the attention of Forbes Magazine, The New York Times, Good Morning America, and most importantly, BIPOC families interested or living in more healthy, consent-based, intergenerational relationships. Her recent experiences within the intersection of privilege, parenting,and power are detailed in her latest book, Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work.You'll learn: What it means to be raising a “free child” and why it can be a threatening or uncomfortable concept for many people What “mad question asking” is and how parents can use it to get unstuck How unschooling is tied to decolonization What “deschooling” is versus “homeschooling” and “unschooling” What “confident autonomy” is and why Akilah considers that a hallmark of “success” in her children How Akilah and her partner dealt with the barriers (social, cultural, and more) when they chose the unschooling path for their family What a “savor complex” is and how it can transform the family experience Resources mentioned: Akilah Richard’s website Raising Free People: Unschooling as Liberation and Healing Work by Akilah Richards Fare of the Free People Podcast Akilah’s website Schoolishness Akilah’s coaching offerings Savor Complex Akilah Richard TEDx Asbury Park Talk Shawna Murray Browne Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For the past few years, I’ve been hearing about this concept called “declarative language,” and although I had an idea of what it was, after reading my guest Linda Murphy’s Declarative Language Handbook, I couldn’t wait to bring her on the show because it offers another transformational tool for our parenting differently wired kids’ toolbox. Linda describes declarative language as a positive, thoughtful communication style that emphasizes understanding, patience, respect, and kindness, and as you’ll hear from our conversation, it is an ideal communication style for really all children, but especially neurodivergent children and kids whose nervous systems are triggered by demands or more imperative communication styles.We discussed the different ways we can communicate with our children, the language we use, and the effects that simple shifts in the way we have conversations can have in our daily interactions with them. We also explored what is declarative language versus imperative language, as well as the relationship between co-regulation and declarative language and why we should use them in tandem. Linda K. Murphy MS, CCC-SLP is a speech language pathologist and RDI® Consultant. She co-founded Peer Projects - Therapy From the Heart, a clinic in Beverly, MA dedicated to helping kids and families by using a positive, thoughtful communication style that emphasizes understanding, patience, respect, and kindness. Linda has been working with individuals with social learning differences for over 25 years. She leads trainings on the topic of social learning, has authored Declarative Language Handbook, Co-Regulation Handbook, numerous articles, and co-authored the book Social Thinking and Me with Michelle Garcia Winner. Things you'll learn from this episode What it means to use declarative language (versus imperative language) Why declarative language is so effective for neurodivergent children, and especially those who are wired to be more demand avoidance Why declarative language is more effective when paired with co-regulation Common language and communication styles that place demands on kids that we may not be aware of (including questions) How to introduce declarative language communication and how it can support a child’s learning and development What we can hope to see in a child or an adolescent that has been on the receiving end of this style of communication What to say instead of “Did you hear what I said”?  Resources mentioned Linda Murphy’s website Declarative Language Handbook: Using a Thoughtful Language Style to Help Kids with Social Learning Challenges Feel Competent, Connected, and Understood by Linda K. Murphy Declarative Language website Declarative Language on Facebook Declarative Language on Instagram One Exchange at a Time (from Linda’s blog) Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Over the past few years I’ve seen the word trauma become more and more prevalent in conversations surrounding children, especially differently wired children. So I invited trauma and education expert Sandi Lerman onto the show so we could  talk about exactly what’s going on with our kids — have they or are they experiencing trauma at school? What is developmental trauma? What does trauma look like our children? And how can we respond to and support a child who has experienced trauma? In the episode you’re about to listen to, Sandi explains why two kids might internalize an experience differently, how kids’ bodies hold on to trauma, and the relationship between PDA and trauma. Sandi also walks us through the key tenets of her trust-based, connected parenting method in her heart strong system.About Sandi LermanSandi Lerman, MA Ed. is the Founder and Program Director of Heart-Strong International, a global education company that provides training and coaching programs for parents and teachers of children with developmental trauma and professional graduate-level programs for Trauma-Informed Specialists, Certified Parent Coaches, and Certified Educational Trainers.Sandi is an educator with over twenty years of classroom teaching experience in K-12, university, and adult education settings, has worked as a parent coach and educator since 2014, and has coordinated two state-wide government and non-profit parenting and community mental health education programs in Indiana.The creator of the HEART-STRONG Model™, Sandi uses trauma-informed coach training and somatic healing practices in her work with adults and those who parent, teach, and take care of children and teens, along with practical tools and strategies to support their growth and success. Things you'll learn from this episode What developmental trauma is Whether neurodivergent kids are more likely to experience trauma or have their “little t” traumas impact them in more profound ways Why two different kids might internalize the same experience differently How are our kids' bodies hold on to trauma and what that looks like How PDA (pathological demand avoidance) is connected to developmental trauma Specific modalities are most helpful for recovery for kids who have experienced trauma What the path toward healing from childhood trauma looks like Resources mentioned for Neurodiversity and Developmental Trauma Sandy Lerman’s Heart Strong International website Heart Strong International on Facebook Sandi Lerman on LinkTree Dr. Bruce Perry Dr. Ross Greene Dr. Mona Delahooke The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, MD Somatic Experiencing EMDR Therapy Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

My guest today is Sarah Moore, the author of the new book Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior. Sarah explains what peaceful discipline is and walk us through its relationships with the traditional disciplinary tools many parents rely on when navigating tricky behavior, like time outs and consequences. Sarah also explained the power of using story teaching to help kids create positive coherent narratives for difficult situations, no matter how old they are, as a way to create the opportunity for learning and growth as opposed to experiences being internalized in harmful ways.Sarah R. Moore is the author of “Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science & Better Behavior,” and founder of Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting. She is a Master Trainer in conscious parenting and has training in child development, trauma recovery, and interpersonal neurobiology. Things you'll learn from this episode: How Sarah defines peaceful discipline What the H.U.G. process is and how we can use it to support our child’s healthy emotional development How to reframe our thinking about traditional discipline tools like timeouts (and shift to employing “time ins”) How to effectively tap into natural consequences as a positive tool in our parenting Why removing a device or toy isn't actually a natural consequence that works long term What Story Teaching is and how we can use it as a tool to support our child in creating coherent positive narrative about difficult situations  Resources mentioned for: Sarah Moore’s website, Dandelion Seeds Peaceful Discipline: Story Teaching, Brain Science, and Better Behavior by Sarah R. Moore Dandelion Seeds Positive Parenting Blog, Mini-Courses & Expert Interviews Dandelion Seeds on Instagram Dandelion Seeds on Facebook Dandelion Seeds on YouTube Dandelion Seeds on Twitter Sign up at Sarah’s website for one free mini-course (more than 40 topics available) and a selection of expert interviews Support the showConnect with Tilt Parenting Visit Tilt Parenting Take the free 7-Day Challenge Read a chapter of Differently Wired Follow Tilt on Twitter & Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices